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terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
aadaab dosto,
Ghazal ka matlaa pehle likha , socha tha ke ek musalsal Ghazal kehne ki koshish karuuNga lekin phir Gham-e-yaaraN ke takaazey se mooNh na phera gaya to Ghazal yuuN huii, aapki khidmat meiN pesh kar raha huuN Ghazal ka matlaa mere ustaad-e-mutarim ke aNdaaz-e-sukhan ka saaya hai, voh aksar ziNdagi ki kadvi sacchaiiyoN ko sukhan meN dhaalte rahe haiN, maine kabhi tassavur taq na kiya tha ke maiN kabhi is silsiley meiN koi she'r kahuuNga lekin in dinoN ziNdagi kuch aisi berukhii se pesh aa rahi hai ke yuuN hi chalte chalte do misrey zehan meiN aaye aur is Ghazal ka aaGhaaz hua.....pehle do misroN meiN ek aise mehnatkash aadmi ka haal-e-dil bayaan karne ki koshish ki hai jo din bhar jee toD mehnat karta hai aur shaam ko jab uski hatheli par do sikkey Tikaa diye jaate haiN jis se voh apna aur apne parivaar ka ek liye do roTiiyaaN taq na khareed sake to voh apne haathoN ke zakhmoN ko dekhte hue ro padta hai.........khair aap Ghazal mulaiiza kijiye :- miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale "maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko "sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale kahir aNdesh maikash |
Waah Sarkar
Maikash saahab,
Aadaab.. Behad dilkash yeh ghazal kahii hai aap ne.. Matla mujhe tab bhi behad pasand aaya tha jaab aap ne sunaaya tha.. Ab pure ghazal meN shaamil ho kar khoobsuurati aur baRh gaya hai... Ek khoobsuurat ghazal ke dher saare daad haazir hai.. Mayank |
Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
"badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar
vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale" Aarzoo bhi badi alag hai aapki maiksah bhai....ishse dard kahu ya kuch aur samjh nahi aata..... "miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley" ye kaafi acha laga mujhe....Very Nice Shukriyah ish gazal ko hamare beech laane k liye...aur dil se daad kabul kijiyega.... :) Quote:
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Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
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waah..kya likh diya hai aapne aaj to,gazab,har shabd ,har line...mindblowing
kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale amazing... badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale bahot hi gehra likha hai aapne yeh to chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale aur is se zyada sacchi aur gehri baat nahin ho sakti hogi kaheen pyar karnewalon ke liye shayad... |
Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
Quote:
aapki kahi hui har baat mai bhaut kuch chupa hua hai padhna bhaut hi achha raha aapko isi tarah aapko padhte rahenge yahi umeed hai kuch sher to jaise khud ki daanatan kahte se lage bus shayer jo likh de sabko apni kahani lage wahi to badhi baat hai aapki shrdh |
Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
Quote:
regards manu mai ismai kuchh add karta hu,shayad aap ko pasand aaye Andhero ne mil kar agar ghera hai hamko Aa mil kar saath apne jakhmo ko hi jalaale Parvarish-e-lauho-kalam karte rahenge dil pe jo gujri hai kyun aankho se nikaale ummido ki patwaaro se tufaano se ladenge Apne haatho ke hoslale hai apne rakhwaale Viraani-e-daura pe karam karte rahenge ham Talkhi-e-ayaam ka saath mil kar nibhaale Parvarish-e-lauho-kalam =takhti aur kalam ka upyog ( kavyarachna) Viraani-e-daura pe= sansaar ki viraani Talkhi-e-ayaam = jivan ki viparit , kathin ,kadvi par sachhi paristhitiya hope u like d same regards take care manu |
Janab Maikash Sahab............
Ghazal ka agaaz ek dard bhare ehsaas se kiya aur maqta to bahut hi khoob raha.......... jaise kisi paimaane se jaam chalakta ho.......... yunhi aap tashreef farmate rahiye........... |
Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale Waaah... Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale beautifulll.... badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale Waaaahhh... bahut khoob bhai... "maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko "sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale bahut khoob.... Maikash bhai, Humesha ki tarah bahut hi khoobsurat likha hai aapne... Is tarah ki ghazalein kam padhne ko milti ahin... aapne ise khooburati se bayaan kiya hai... Meri daad kubool lijiygea... likhte rhaiye yun hi... apna khayal rakhiyega.... |
teri yaad ki shamaa se hai ujale
Maikash ji
namskar appne kaya khoob kaha hai ki: mile na mehnat se jo do nibaley, roya mai dekh appney hattho ke shaley. teri yaad ki shamaa se hai ujale....! pesh hai.........! "ujaley appni yaddo ke, hamarey saath rahney do, na jaane kis gali mai, jindgi ki shaam ho jaye" |
mayank saahab
namaste bhai aapne Ghazal ke ash'aar tab bhi pasaNd farmaaye aur ab bhi, ab miyaaN aap jaise khair khwaah saath na hoN to hum jaise nau'sikhiiyoN ko kaun puuche.....aapki daad sar aaNkhoN par saahab shukriya maikash |
Diggaj miyaaN
namaste aarzoo kya hai ye to sochne bhar se dam nikal jaata hai saahab, tam'aam umr ke iNtezaar ka silaa sirf itna maaNga hai ke jin mehNdi lage haaThoN ki inaayat jeete jee naseeb nahiiN huii vohi kam-az-kam waqt-e-rukhsat ataa ho jaaye to aisa to na lagega ke ziNdagi bhi bekaar gayi aur maut bhi aarzoo bohat badi cheez hai bhai, ho tab bhi aur na ho tab bhi....!! aapne hamesha ki tarah Ghazal pasaNd farmaayi aur hamesha ki tarah mujh na'ehl ka hausla bhi badhaaya dil se shukurguzaar huuN aapka milte raha kijiye, achcha lagta hai shukriya khair aNdesh maikash |
shimul sahiba
aadaab mohtarma aapko shayad Ghazal pasaNd nahiiN aayi isiliye udaas ho gayi..........aji agar aisi baat hai to maiN bohat sharmiNdaa huuN rab raakha maikash |
ruchika sahiba
namaste Ghazal pasaNd farmaane ka shukriya aur jo she'r aapko khusuusan pasaNd aaya hai uske liye alag se shukriya tasleem kijiye maikash |
shrdha jee
namaste aapne har baar ki taar is baar bhi mujh na'ehl ka hausla badhaaya jiske liye mashkoor-o-mamnoon huuN aapka ummiid hai aap aayiiNda bhi yuuN hi saath deti raheNgii khair aNdesh maikash |
manu saahab
namaste bhai aapne bade kaam ki baat kahi ke aadmi ko apne usuuloN ko nahiiN choRna chahiye.........lekin manu bhai kabhi kabhi inhiiN usuuloN ki ba'daulat aisa nuksaan ho jaata hai ke aakhiri saaNs taq bharpaayi nahiiN ho paati aur agar maine ek-aadh usuul toR diya hota to aaj shaayad shayri kya hoti hai mujhe kahbar taq na hoti.......ba-har-haal aapki muravvat ka hamesha ki tarah shukurguzaar huuN.......aap jaise dost haiN to dil ki do baateN keh leta huuN bhai varna to............!! milte raha kijiye maikash |
aman saahab
namaste Ghazal ki pazi'raii ke liye mera shukriya tasleem kijiye khair aNdesh maikash |
maikash saheb
hamesha ki tarah ek khoobsurat ghazel, behtreen ashaar se muzaiyen ki hai aap ne. ek aisi ghazel jis ko mein ne kaee kaee baar parah aur saraha. hamare naey likhne walon ke liye mera mashwara hai ke is forum per voh maikash saheb ko parhein, unhein pata chale gaa, ke ghazel kyaa hoti hai, tashbih o istuaaraat kis tarah istemaal hote hain aur kis tarah ek khoobsurat shahkaar takhleeq hota hai. meri bharpoor daad apne bhai maikash ke liye, ke jin ka dam bohat ghanimat hai is forum per. khush rahein, aabaad rahein. musharrafhusain |
pulkit miyaaN
namaste bhai mazrat chahta huuN ke aapke khat ka jawaab dene meiN ta'khiir ho gayi aapki muravvat aur hausla afzaai ke liye aapka shukurguzaar huuN maikash |
sunita jee
namaste aur SSA Ghazal ke chaNd ash'aar pasaNd farmaane ke liye shukriya tasleem kijiye ummiid hai aap yuuN hi hausla badhaati raheNgii khoob she'r yaad dilaaya aapne....!! rab raakha maikash |
muhtarim musharrafhusain saahab
aapke khat ka jawaab dene meiN hui ta'khiir ke liye nihayat sharmiNdaa aur mazrat'khwaa huuN....aadaab tasleem kijiye aapka tabsira mere liye bohat mayine rakhta hai aur aap har dafaa mujh na'ehl ki betahaasha hausla afza'ii karte haiN...aapki muravvat ka jitna bhi shukurguzaar ho ke dikhaa sakuuN, kam hoga taalib-e-ilm huuN isliye aapse ek darkhuvaast hai ke izzat-o-hausla afza'ii ke saath agar aap kaavish par ek taNqiidi nazar bhi daal liya kareiN to mujhe badi madadd milegi, urdu adab meiN tabadlaa-e-khayaal hi ek aisa zariya hai jis se naye nuskhe, tarqeebeiN aur laGhziishoN ka ehsaas hota hai.... ummiid hai aap meri guzaarish par gaur farmaayeNge shurkiya khair aNdesh maikash |
Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
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Mere Dost Maikash, kai baar padhi tumhari yah gajal... yah dard waaqai mai bhul nahi sakte.. Meena |
Namaskaar Maikash Ji
Bahaut samay baad aapko parhney ka awsar mila tow accha laga. Bahaut khubsoaarti se bayaan kiya hai aapne ehsaason ko. "miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale / roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley" Isse post karne ke liye mera dhanyavaad sweekaar kijiyega. v i p i n |
meena jee
namaste aapne hamesha ki tarah mujh nalaayiq ki hausla afzaai ki hai , shukriya qabuul farmaaiye khair aNdesh maikash |
Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
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ek baat janna chahati hu ji.jaisa apne kaha ki shuru ke line me ek mehnti shaqs ka zikar hai.....ok baat thik hai...lekin aapne uske baad jo likh hai usme mujhe thoda sa pyaar aur asteen me saanp palne ki baat aur pyar me jo gam hota hai uska jikr kiya hai aisa laga...aapne pyaar me gum aur uss mehanti shaqs ko ek saath kyu likha............. plz mujhe samjhaiye mujhme dimmag thoda kam hai na isi liye kuch jaldi samajh nahi aata hai ji...........agar kuch galat likh diya hai meine to maaf kar dijiyega..... shukriya ji gratse aapki dost pooja |
Re: Re: terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale......Ghazal
Quote:
walekum aadaad pooja jee aksar Ghazal ka har she'r alag-alag subject par hota hai ya yuuN kahiye ye har she'r apne-aap meiN ek daastaan (story) hota hai aur ek she'r ka duusre she'r ke saath koi ta'lluq nahiiN hota......aisa har Ghazal meiN nahiiN hota.... Ghazal meiN dastaan bhi kahii jaati hai, yaani ek hi subject par puuri Ghazal likhi jaati aur aisii GhazloN ke har she'r ka duusre she'r se connection hota hai, aisii Ghazal ko "Ghazal-e-musalsal" kaha jaata hai......aur meri yeh Ghazal Ghazal-e-musalsal nahiiN hai aur agar aap mere message ko phir se dhyaan se padheN to aapko yaqeenan samajh meiN aa jayega ka maiN sirf Ghazal ke matle (pehle she'r) ka zikr kar raha tha shukriya maikash |
vipin mahodya
namaskaar aapko yahaaN dekh kar mann bohat prasann hua......ye mera saubhagya hai jo aap jaise mitr apni kripa drishti ke yogya samajhte haiN dhanyavaad maikash |
miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley Maikash Sahib... Iss matle pe tau waaqayi mein aapke ustaad ji fakhr kareinge...khuub aagaaz kiya hai...waise aap issi khayaal ko lekar bhi kabhi puuri ghazal kahieyegaa kabhi... ek nayaab kalaam ke liye daad kubuul kijiey... |
hi
Maikash ji,
Namskaar... bahut dino baad aaj phir aapko padhane ka saubhagy mila.. yah meri khushnaseebi hai.. miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley sach hai.. ankho main anshu tabhi tapkte hain jab lagta hai ki nyaay imandaari se nahi hau.. bahut khub.. kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale kya baat hai.... ab shikayat kere to kisase kere.. humne to kaanto ke raste banaye hain.. ab hume hi chalana padega... Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale .. dard hamesha rahat hai.. shayad jeevan dard ke thapedo se hi gujarega.. es beech tumhari yaado ki lahar madhur umang de jaati hai... great... kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale .. tumhara koi javab nahi... tum jo ker gaye shayd dusera mere liye nahi ker sakega... badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale .. jinda to dekhane ki hasrat hai magar.. shayd..lekin.. phir bhi ek baar mehdi lagaker hi meri akhiri yatra ko yadagar bana dena..shayd meri ruh ki bhatakan khatam jaaye.. chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale tum aana jarur... kyonki main entjaar karunga tumhara tab tak jab tak saanse rahengi.. "maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko "sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale ......es line per kuchh kahane ki himmat nahi ho rahi hai...... Overall bas etan hi kahunga ki aapne es ghazal mein jaan daal di hai... eswer aapko khushiya de... Akant... |
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mazrat chahta huuN mujhe ilm nahiiN tha ke aapne apne khaadim ki is post par dastaq di hai vagarnaa maiN fauran se peshtar jawaab haazir karta jee, maine kuch kalaam is mau'zuu par bhi likhe to haiN lekin mere hisaab se un meiN behtar'ii ki guNzaa'iish hai isliye abhi taq mehfil ki khidmat meiN pesh nahiiN kiye....muqammal ta'ur se to maiN apni kisi bhi Ghazal-o-nazm se mutma'iin kam hi hota huuN go ek baar padhne laayaq ho jaaye to zaruur haazir karuNga daad ke liye shukriya qabuul famaa'iiye rab raakha maikash |
Maikash sahab!!
Shayad hi aapka koi tukda, najm kata ya kalam aisa ho ... jo dil ko NA chuu jaye .... har ek umda aur aala darje ka hota hai .... aur usi mala mein ek aur phool piroya hai aaj apne..!! |
maikash ji
jai shree karishna........ aapki peshkas abhi abhi maine padhi bahot hi behtrin tarike se aap apni har peshkas pesh kate ho aap hamesha yuhi likhte rahiye ..bas aisi aapse gujarish karta hu mere dil se nikali daad kubul kijiyega khus rahiye maikash ji aapka dost dhaval |
miley na jo mehnat se do bhi nivaale
roya maiN dekh apne haathoN ke chhalley kareiN bhi gilaa ab to kis se kareiN humhiiN ne to saaNp aasteenoN meiN paale Gham-e-ziNdagi ke aNdheroN meiN jaanaaN terii yaad ki sham'aa se haiN ujaale kuch aur hi baat thi unki saaqi vo dete the bhar ke jo aaNkhoN se pyaale badi aarzoo hai ke mehNdii lagaa kar vo aa ke mere kafn pe khaak daale chali aana saara jahaaN aazmaa kar maiN baiThaa huuN apni wafa ko saNbhaale "maikash" tere baad dhooNdeNge tujhko "sharaabi,sharaabi" tujhe kehne vaale WAH...! WAH..!!! Maikash bhai namashkar har sher..ek chalakta hua "jaam" hai aapki gazal ki "botal" ka...jaise jaise padhta gaya...waise waise surur chathta gaya...!!pilana wala jab aap jaisa "saaqi" ho to "maikashi" ka mazza hi kuch aur hai.!! ek "toote paimane" ki bharpoor daad kubool kijiye...!! -MANOJ |
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Akant saheb
namaste bhai aapne jis qadar hausla afza'ii ki hai uske liye aapka shukriya adaa karne ke liye mere paas alfaaz nahiiN hai....ba-har-haal wohi mashoor-e-zamaana lafz-e-shukriya to hai hi so qabuul farmaaiye....ummiid hai ke aap aage bhi yuuN hi saath dete raheNge bohat shukriya miyaaN maikash |
Quote:
bhai ye to aapki nigah-e-karam ka kamaal hai jo mujh na'ehl ko kisi laayaq samajhte haiN varna kahaaN maiN aur kahaaN shayri :) bohat shukriya maikash |
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aapki daad sar maathe par miyaaN, aap jaise dost jab itni muhabbat se pesh aate haiN to aapka haq ban'ta hai, huqm kiya kijiye, ab guzaarish se to mua'mlaa duusre level pe chala jaata hai :) aap be'fiqr rahiye, mashq jaari hai shukriya maikash |
Quote:
Manoj saahab aadaab-o-namaste bhai aapke tabsire ne to "botal" uthaane pe majbuur kar diya ;) ab subah gar tabiyat bigdi to uske zimmedaar aap thehre :) mazaaq bar-taraf, daad ke liye shukruguzaar huuN aapka, dua-salaam karte raha kijiye maikash |
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maikash |
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