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khwabon men tasveer (ख्वाबों में तस्वीर)
Khwabon men tasveer banaataa hoon phir husn tera us men dikhaataa hoon phir rang badaa khub tera maah jabeen us pe tera rang chadhaataa hoon phir zulfen jo lehraaee tune gulbadan lut ke khushboo wo lagaataa hoon phir tan ye tera dekh ke marmar sa uske liye **daar banaataa hoon phir shauq, Safeer, bas ise zindaa karoon khoon-e-jigar deke jagaataa hoon phir ख्वाबों में तस्वीर बनाता हूं फिर हुस्न तेरा उस में दिखाता हूं फिर रंग बड़ा ख़ूब तेरा माह जबीन उस पे तेरा रंग चढ़ाता हूं फिर ज़ुल्फ़ें जो लहराई तूने गुलबदन लूट के खुश्बू वो लगाता हूं फिर तन ये तेरा देख़ के मरमर सा उसके लिये **दार बनाता हूं फिर शौक़, सफिर, बस इसे ज़िंदा करूं खून-ए-जिगर देके जगाता हूं फिर ** दार = घर |
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waaahhhh kyaa khoob bayaani huii hai Aadeil saahab..... kyaa kahne, superbb and speechless..... ehsaason ke saath aapne badee eemaandaari nibhaayee hai . alfaazon ka bahot khoob taanabaanaa hai aapki ye peshkash... ishkiyaa rangon me rangee khoobsurat tahreer.... ho zore kalam aur zyaadaa.... mukhlis. Shaad.... |
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bas, aapkee dua hamaare saath rahe............ dua ke saath Adil ka salaam............ |
Bhai Aadeil sahab, achchi koshish ki hai aapne. Thoda sa aur maanjhne ki zarurat hai apne aap ko aur ghazal ki takneek ko. Aap bahut behtar kah sakte hain meri is salaah ke sath. Filhaal ek sher
rang badaa khub tera maah jabeen us pe tera rang chadhaataa hoon phir Yahaan gaur karne waali baat ye hai ke rang bada ya chhota nahi hota. To sher ki jo buniyaad aap khadi karne ki koshish kar rahe the wahi kachchi nikli is liye us khayaal ko poori tawajjo nahi mil payegi jitni ka sher haqdaar hai. Koi ghalat baat lage to mazrat. Khuda khair kare Allaah haafiz |
waah waah aadeil ji bahot hi khub kalam pes kiya................touching...................... ......!!!
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pehle to main aapka shukr guzar hoon ki aapne hamaaree ees rachna pe gaur kiya..... aap ko yahaaN paa kar hum aapke mamnoon rahe hai..... aapkee baat pe hum zaroor guar karenge.... sirf ek clarity, yahaaN rang ka badaa ya chhotahone kee baat nahiN kahi hai....... balki, rang ka bahot khub hone ki baat kahee hai....... par shaayad aapka ye kehna hai ki kisee cheez ka khub hona apne aap men hi be-inteha hota hai? aur ees liye, badaa ya bahot kee koi gunjaaiish nahin hai? :) main chahunga, aap ees pe thoda aur tabdeer farmaiye.... :) bakee ashaar pe bhee aapke bayaanaat kee ummeed rakhunga.... kyuN ki aapne kahaa hai, filhaal ye ek sher :) duaoN ke saath.... |
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Aadeil Sahib .
Aapki khayalon se saji tasveer bahut bhayi humein. Apka bayan Rang Bara Khoob ....bilkul durust hai kyunki mujhe parne pe mehsoos hua ki yahan rang ko saraha gaya hai bara khoob keh kar jo ki theek hai . God bless. Sanjay Sehgal |
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Aapka teh-e-dil se shukra guzar hooN..... bas yun hi hausla afzaaee farmate rahiye............. Aur agar kahiN aapko kuch bhee galat lage, beher ya bayaanaat jisse ki gazal ya sher galat ho raha hai toh be zeejak aap hameN bata sakte haiN.... SDC ke aap jaise shaayar hi hamare guru haiN, toh hum bilkul bura nahiN manenge :) aapka bahot bahot shukriya....... Adil ka namaskaar...... |
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hamne bilkul bura nahiN mana hai :) hum samajh sakte haiN ki humen bahot si uljhaneN aur zimmedaariyaN hoteee hai. bas aap yun waqt nikaal kar yahaaN aate raheN :) aapka bahot bahot shukriya............ salaam............ |
aadil jee.......na jaane kaise is kalaam se door reh gaya.......aaj pada to bahut afsos hua......kamaal je ehsaas hain aapke....daad kubul karein.
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aapka hamaare qalaam se rubaroo hona aur aapki hausla afzaaee ke liye mamnoon hooN...... bas, aapki duaoN ka arzmand hooN.......... Namaskaar............. |
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frankly, it was just some thought which came to mind and I put it down here.... Thanks for the compliments........... |
Waah waah waah Aadeil ji !!! Is ghazal ki shokhi aur deewanagee dekhte hi banti hai !!! Dher saaree daad aap ko !!!
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aapka bahot hi mamnoon hooN. aate rahiye............ :) |
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