Shayri.com

Shayri.com (http://www.shayri.com/forums/index.php)
-   Shayri-e-Dard (http://www.shayri.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=4)
-   -   ębaarat-e-aSHqiya (http://www.shayri.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21031)

Qasid 23rd March 2004 06:53 PM

ębaarat-e-aSHqiya
 
'ębaarat-e-aSHqiya'

Doston aaj ki mehfil 'ębaarat-e-aSHqiya' mein aap sab ka isteqbaal karta hoon.
Ibteda ke liye ek saghiir si kehta hoon

kalaam ka wazn kalam se nahi
siyaahi se hota hai

figaar ka zakhm khoon se nahi
judaayi se hota hai

is aashiyaane mein aap jaise bahut nayaab aur bey naziir shayar maujood hai.
tag o dau daqiiq laher ko har shaqs se waaqif karaane ki hai. Is mehfil ka hadaf sirf aapke tasawwur ki pehchaan nahi albattah aapke aandar ke shayar ke gehraayi ko chuune ki koshish hai. Har Mehfil ki tarah yaha bhi kuch dastuur hai jinhe zehan mein rakh kar aapko likhna hoga. Shuruwaat mo^tadil(Moderator) ke diye gaye eHsaas/lafz se hogi, aapko us eHsaas/lafz ko lekar ek ghazal likhni hai. Aur Yaad rahe

1. Ghazal mein kam se kam 4 sher hone zaroori hai. Minimum 4 sher aur maximum ki hadd tehy karke aapki shayri ko baandhne ki himaakat humse na hogi

2. Ek ehsaas ko pichle shayar ke kahe aandaaz mein dubaara nahi dohraaya jayega.

3. Aap back to back post nahi kar sakte. Aapne post ke baad kisi aur ko unke khayalat numaayaań karne ka maauka diya jaaye.

4. Ek expresson/thought ko 10-12 alag ghazal/nazm par mukammal samjha jayega aur ek naya lafz/ehsaas ko dar yaaft kiya jayegaa.

5. Last but not least, all the writing here has to be yours. Aap kisi bhi shayar ya phir filmi geet nahi likh sakte, koshish aapke andar ke shayar se guftagu ki hai, yaad rahe.


Phirse ek baar aap sabka is mehfil mein istakbaal hai, aur ummiid hai ki hum sabko ko yaha kuch umda aur behtrayeen nazm/shero se bahut kuch sikhne ko milega

Qasid 23rd March 2004 07:34 PM

Aaj mehfil ki shuruwaaat ek dil-i-kareeb ehsaas 'boond' se karte hai

qatrah qatrah yun, baarish si hua karti hai
jaise aankhiyon se kabhi, boond baha karti hai

hai yeh mausam, ya teri behti nazar ka saawan
aise mausam mein kaha, teyz hawa chalti hai

woh jo KHasiis, hai woh bhi aaine ki tarah
kaha darpan mein kabhi, zil basa karti hai

pur asar hokar bhi, hota hai qaabil-e-tasawwur
dilbari ki yun bhi, taqdeer bana karti hai

qatrah qatrah yun, baarish si hua karti hai
dilbari ki yun bhi, taqdeer bana karti hai!!!

Mehfil ko aage barkaraar Rakhiyega

Duaaon ke Saath

-mast

Mayank 23rd March 2004 08:33 PM

Bahut khoob mast Bhai,

Hum zaroor aap ke iss ebaarat~e~ashquya meiN shaamil honge. Samayabhav ke liye abb tou kuch likh nahi paaungaa par agay zaroor likhoongaa. Aap ne title bahut achha diyaa hai. Hume pasand aaya.

Tc, bye

Mayank;-)

shayri12345 23rd March 2004 10:30 PM

qatrah qatrah yun, baarish si hua karti hai
jaise aankhiyon se kabhi, boond baha karti hai

hai yeh mausam, ya teri behti nazar ka saawan
aise mausam mein kaha, teyz hawa chalti hai

woh jo KHasiis, hai woh bhi aaine ki tarah
kaha darpan mein kabhi, zil basa karti hai

pur asar hokar bhi, hota hai qaabil-e-tasawwur
dilbari ki yun bhi, taqdeer bana karti hai

qatrah qatrah yun, baarish si hua karti hai
dilbari ki yun bhi, taqdeer bana karti hai!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------


haan..
qatra qatra yun us din bhi...baarish si huyi thi,
dewaanepan ki chahat me, me bhi...raha karti thi,

Yu to zameen par rehti thi, phir bhi aasmaan me udaan me bharti thi,
khwaishaye piroya karti thi, Judayi se me darti thi,

manjor hota hai jab jab khuda ko, ye socha karti thi,
Raaton ko chat par jaakar, kismat ke taaro se me larti thi,

Yu to sabhi jeety hai mara kartey hai,
Par na milne par,, bechain hookar katra katra me mara karti thi,




----------sry i thinki have gone out of the track..for this post...my feelings these days are sort of ..not understoood by me...

Priya.

ghayalparwana 24th March 2004 03:09 AM

Hmm Mast sahib..

Khoob mehfil sajaai hai aapne...Yakeenan yahan sirf wohi shakhs aayenge jo shayri ko samjhte hain aur kuchh hunr rakhte hain..Shayad hum jaise nausikhiye ke liye aapne ye mehfil nahin sajaayi hai..

'Boond'...ye lafz,ye ehsaas bahut khoob hai aur is par khoob ghazal bhi keh gaye aap..

qatrah qatrah yun, baarish si hua karti hai
jaise aankhiyon se kabhi, boond baha karti hai

hai yeh mausam, ya teri behti nazar ka saawan
aise mausam mein kaha, teyz hawa chalti hai

woh jo KHasiis, hai woh bhi aaine ki tarah
kaha darpan mein kabhi, zil basa karti hai

pur asar hokar bhi, hota hai qaabil-e-tasawwur
dilbari ki yun bhi, taqdeer bana karti hai

qatrah qatrah yun, baarish si hua karti hai
dilbari ki yun bhi, taqdeer bana karti hai!!!

Yakeen maaniye bahut khoob likha aapne..har sheyr pasand aaya..

Aur Priya ...Tumne bhi is ehsaas ko lekar khoob likha..Shayad tumhaare liye tumhaari feelings 'out of sorts' hongi par mujhe to hameshaa tumhaari feelings khud apni si hi lagti hain..shayad isse hi dosti kehte hain..

Anyways bahut kuchh keh diya..abhi thoda waqt deejiye..zyaada nahin bas 2 minutes..ye nacheez bhi kuchh lekar haazir hota hai

ghayalparwana 24th March 2004 03:11 AM

Jee..'Boond' is ehsaas ko aage badate hue aapke saamne ye chaar sheyron ki ghazal pesh karta huun..gar ijaazat ho to-


Is kadar hamara 'e sawan' tujhsa silsila ho gaya
Aankhon se tapki boondein to jaise zalzala ho gaya

Nikle the rahe e gam par hum akele,tha safar tanha
dekha to har shakhs saath hua, ik kaafila ho gaya

Kehta tha mujhse tu ke tu mera hai,bas mera hi hai
Fakat raaston ki doorion se dilon me faansla ho gaya

Zamane ki bewafai dekhkar darr chuka tha 'Parwana'
'Maut 'to wafadaar hai ye soch ke aaj Haunsla ho gaya

Parastaar 24th March 2004 12:39 PM

Bahut khoob...mast jee...

ek shaandaar mehfil sajaayi hai aapne...

boond...ko lekar likhne kee koshish karte hain...

Bin saawan, garajtaa barastaa mera man
Chaah ki ik boond ko tarastaa mera man

aaj hamein tum hosh mein laana
jhuuthe khwaabon se wabastaa mera man

bekhudi mein tumhein rijhaana
tumhaari berukhi pe rang-e-shikastaa mera man

dil kee baat zubaan karti hai zaahir
iss tasleem pe yakh bastaa mera man

Mayank 25th March 2004 07:31 PM

Har Katraa-Katraa Ashq, Kamal Ho Jayegaa..
Har Lamha-Lamha Geet, Ghazal Ho Jayegaa..
Dil Mein Thorii Si Jagah De De Mujhe..
Zarraa-Zarraa Taaj Mahal Ho Jayegaa..

Mujh Se Itni Nafrat, Tu Naa Kar..
Dil Ki Baatoon Ka Sikayat, Tu Naa Kar..
Jhoot Hi Kah De Ishq Hai Mujhse ..
Such KahooN Mera Janam Safal Ho Jayegaa..

Chandani RaatooN Par Chhat Par Aa Kabhii..
Apne Chehre Ki Chamak Bikhraa Kabhii..
Aasmaan Ban Jaiega Aaienaa Tera..
Chand Bhi Tere Humshakal Ho Jayegaa..

Hath Mein Mehandi Se Likh De Naam Mera..
Reshmi Rumaal Par Sil De Naam Mera..
Chum Le Saadaab HoontooN Se Usae ..
Tere Dil MeiN “Mayank” Ka Dakhal Ho Jayegaa..

Qasid 25th March 2004 09:15 PM

Shukriya un sab ka jo is mehfil mein aakar use barkaraar rakhne ki koshish ki hai aur unka bhi jo isse aage jaakar rubaru honge...

mayank ji shukriya jo aapko yeh mehfil aur iska tittle pasand aaya..aapki shayri ka hum besabri se intezaar karenge..

priya ji welcome..aapko yaha pakar behad khushi huyi...aapne bahut khub likha magar aapne aapni lines mein lafz 'boond' ka istemaal nahi kiya...khair not a big one. Aapki yeh nayaab nazm taqsiim karke humhe bahut aacha laga. aage bhi yunhi likhte raheyiga..

varinder bhai aapne aap ko nausikhiya na kahe aapki nazm padhkar to mujhe aisa kahi nahi lag raha..Bahut khoob likha hai aapne...aage bhi umeed karta hoon silsilaa jaari rahega...

paras ji shukriya yaha aa kar char chaand lagaane ka...aapki nazm mein dard aur ehsaas ka ek aanokha sangam nazar aaya...daad kubool kare...aur aage bhi yunhi likhte rahiyega

-mast

Qasid 25th March 2004 09:27 PM

mayank ji aapne to bahut jald hi hamari bekaraari ko qaraar ek anokhe andaaz mein diya..bahut khoob....

mehfil mein isi ehsaas ko aage badhaate huye pesh hai 'boond' lafz par 6th sher...umeed hai aap sabko pasand aayega

sagar mein teri hi aahat
saahil par hai naam likha

palkon par hoti ek harkat
tujh mein ek armaan dikha

girte girte phir bhi tumhne
yeh kya mujhse keh daala

bhul gaya hai yeh dil jisko
phirse woh mehmaan dikha

bahut zakhm hai aur dukhegaa
tumko bhi maalum hai sab

aakhir phir o dene waale
neelam si 'boond' farmaan likha

-mast

Qasid 14th April 2004 05:49 PM

Doston lagta hai lafz 'boond' ka maajra yahi 6th sher ke saath khatam karna hoga....naaya armaan naya lafz 'aankh' se shuru karte hai yeh mehfil dubaara

baat aankhon ki bhi khoob rang laati hai
aankh kehti hai aur nazar jaan jaati hai

uth ke jhukti hai to hayaa ban jaati hai yeh
jhuk ke uthti hai to saadgi kehlaati hai

mujhse milti hai to rubaab dekhiye inkaa
bin kahe daastaan-e-dil sunaati hai

shab-e-furqat mein bhi kabhi aati hai nazar
palak khulte hi halke se jhapak jaati hai

aankh kehti hai aur nazar jaan jaati hai
baat aankhon ki bhi khoob rang laati hai!!!

Iske aage mehfil ko badhaiyegaa doston....'aankh' lafz par aagle post ka mujhe intezaar rahegaa

Duaaon ke saath
-Mast

Parastaar 17th April 2004 08:01 AM

Mast mast...

Ankh se yeh post kar rahe hain...batana kaisa laga...

na samajh paaoge tum iss gareeb ka khalvat-e-dil
jispe tumhare jawaharat-e-ishq kee barsaat huyee

hum tau laash thhe aur pyaar se thhe na waakif
tumne chhoo liya is kaath ko tau hararat huyee

aainaa dekhte aksar aankh se ashqon ko mitane ke liye
aaj jo dekha tau khud ko shaad aab paa kar hairat huee

tere lafzon ne kiya dil ko chaak-e-berafuu
inmein simat ke meri tamaam kaaynaat huyee

tumne ‘Meri Jaan’ keh kar Jaan daali murda-e-jism mein
na poocho ke kyon dewaanon see ‘Paras’ kee halat huyee

KunaaL 11th November 2004 08:03 PM

bhaiya ... aaj isko age badane ki koshish kar raha hun ... janta hun kuch khas nahi ... par shirkat kar hi di hai maine isme ... umeed hai kuch to mehfil main rang aayega ....



begane se wo apne aaj nazar aaye...
rakib wo mere, kareeb nazar aaye ...
har lamha behta raha sookhe dariya main...
angaar meri "aankh" main phir aaj nazar aaye...

tabah armanon ki tooti hui manjilen...
tanhai ke raste main bikhre nazar aaye ...
kyun na jalti mohabbat ki chita dil main...
angaar meri "aankh" main phir aaj nazar aaye...

sapno main milne ki bhi umeed jati rahi...
hum maut ke badlon mai firte nazar aaye...
keemat phir lagi o bazaroo "saccha_pyar" ...
angaar meri "aankh" main phir aaj nazar aaye...

jeene ki to rah humne chuni thi kabhi ...
ishq karke hum khatawar nazar aaye...
saza-e-maut di khud ko, maut ke bad kyun...
angaar meri "aankh" main phir aaj nazar aaye...



kunal

Qasid 17th November 2004 12:28 AM

paras ji kunal bhai...Bahut khoob...aap dono ne aankh par jo nayaab khayaal pesh kiye ... wakaai is mehfil ka chaand ho gaye hai...aankh lafz se 4th sher ka mujhe intezaar raheGaa ... umeed hai mujhse pehle koi likheGaa yaha...

-aapka apnaa

Aman_rahi 17th November 2004 10:14 AM

Mast veer....

jayada kujh nahi ... bas nha hi likh sakya.....
------------

"num na hone diya jinhe ta-umr......
aaj un aankhon se dariya-e-ashq behte hain.....
kehti thi khushi se mere nain muskurate hain.....
ye kya ki teri aankhon se aaj dariy-e-ashq behte hain.....

doli uthi teri bhi aaoron ki tarah.....
khush thi ki khushi bhi gairon ki tarah.....
na maa ka pyar aur na hi baap ki dua......
kyun kar gujri, bata kaya tha hua.....
kehti thi khushi se mere nain muskurate hain.....
ye kya ki teri aankhon se aaj dariy-e-ashq behte hain.....

ruswa kiya zahan mein pyar ko.....
kuchla pairo tale saare armaan ko....
kabhi dekte the teri aankh mein tasveer apni ......
aaj behte hue tere gaalon se,zameen pe^AMAN^ tapakte hain.....
kehti thi khushi se mere nain muskurate hain.....
ye kya ki teri aankhon se aaj dariy-e-ashq behte hain....."



-----
galtiyan nu mauf karo....

KunaaL 17th November 2004 12:31 PM

aman bhai ...

aap chook gaye na ... sabad "ankh" tha ankhon nahi... yahi rules hai yahan ... khair .. nazm acchi thi ... aage dhayan rakhiyega

talib 17th November 2004 06:43 PM

DostoN ek dilchasp mehfil sajaayee hai aapne.. aur yeh meri taraf se shirkat kar paane ki adnaa koshish hai..lihaaza yeh kalaam aap ki nazar karne ki himakat kar raha hoon...

Teri AANKHON mein intezaar nazar aata hai.
Saath hi pyaar beshumaar nazar aata hai.
Meri tasveer ko tu choom raha hai har pal,
Mere sanam tu bekaraar nazar aata hai.

Mere khayaal mein shaamil hai tu jaise duniya,
Mere hisaab se kaamil hai tu jaise duniya,
Aur kuch to nahi filhaal wasl ka zariya,
Puraani yaadoN ka ik taar nazar aata hai.

Mere saaye ke saath jab tera bhi saaya tha,
Tune kuch meri taraf haath yuuN baDhaaya tha.
Sare aalam ko khoke meine tujhko paaya tha.
Woh nazaara mujhe har baar nazar aata hai.

Apni AANKHON se meine dekhi hai duniyadari,
Mere watan mein baDhti bhook-o-aah-o-bekaari,
Bata kaise mein bhool jaaooN yeh baatein sari.
Mulk apnaa beech baazar nazar aata hai.

Tau abb ke tu mere khaake se baat kar lena,
Mujhe marhoom samajh tu baraat kar lena.
Bahaake aasooN mujhse nijaat kar lena,
Mujhe to mulq hi haqdaar nazar aata hai.

Teri AANKHON mein intezaar nazar aata hai,
Saath hi pyaar beshumaar nazar aata hai.


kaamil=perfect/complete.
wasl=milan
khaake=sketch, picture.
marhoom=late (swargiya)
nijaat=jaan chooDana/ get rid off.

KunaaL 17th November 2004 07:52 PM

mast bhai ... 6th sher main hazir karta hun ....


ishq ki banjar jameen, phool na koi khil paya...
mehfil-e-aashique saji, har aankh ko barasta paya..

bujh gaye rah-e-chirag, hawa ki bewafai se..
deedar-e-mehboob, har aankh ko tarasta paya..

arman-e-dil tode bakhoob, dil ke rakhwalon ne
tapish-e-bewafai, har aankh ko julaste paya...

kabra-e-rooh pe kiya basera, dafan kiya "saccha_pyar"
nakabil-e-faramosh*, har aankh ko tadapte paya...

*unforgettable...

bhai bas yahi likh paya .. umeed hai mehfil ka rang shabab par hai ... talib sir ne jo shirkat kar di hai isme ....

par talib sir aap bhi chook gaye... shabd aankh tha

bhai agle lafz ka intzaar rahega ...

khaksar

kunal

Qasid 17th November 2004 09:04 PM

Aman Bhai/Talib Sir...

Khoob majraa raha aankh aur aankhon ki confusion ka...lekin

Aman bhai....

isme galti ki gunjaayish kaha hai...

"kehti thi khushi se mere nain muskurate hain.....
ye kya ki teri aankhon se aaj dariy-e-ashq behte hain"

Bahut khoob...aapne armaano ko ek naye andaaz mein maqaam diya hai..

Talib Sir....

Aap yaha tashreef laaye kaise kahun .... bas taqdeer samajh raha hoon aapni...phir wahi andaaze bayaan phir wahi taazgi...jo humhe aapka gulaam banakar rakhti hai

"Aur kuch to nahi filhaal wasl ka zariya,
Puraani yaadoN ka ik taar nazar aata hai"

Pur asar!!

aage bhi is mehfil mein shirkat karte rahiYeGaa

Kunal Bhai


Khoob anjaam diya aapne bhi is lafz ke aakhri sher ko...sirf ek galti lagi..jisko sudhaarne ka sujhaav hai..

ishq ki banjar jameen, phool na koi khil paya...
mehfil-e-aashique saji, har aankh ko barasta paya..

asardar sher hai janab par ek lafz ki her pher kar raha hoon

ishq ki banjar jameen, phool na koi khil paya...
mehfil-e-aashique saji, har aankh ko chalaktaa paya..

umeed hai aap bura nahi maanegey..

yeh sher dil chuu gaya..

"bujh gaye rah-e-chirag, hawa ki bewafai se..
deedar-e-mehboob, har aankh ko tarasta paya.."

Aage bhi aap sab yunhi likhte rahiYeGaa

-aapka apnaa

Qasid 17th November 2004 09:08 PM

agla lafz jaane kyon reh reh kar 'imaan' nazar aata hai...aap sabse se guzarish hai ki 'imaan' lafz lekar aap sab apna fan dikhaaye...sher to aab tak koi nahi bana paaya hoon par umeed karta hoon pehle sher mera nahi aap mein se kisi ka hoga...

intezaar mein

-aapka apnaa

talib 17th November 2004 09:17 PM

Mauf kijiyega ka hazraat iss baat se mein ittefaaq nahi rakh paaonga ke "aankh" hi ko leke hi likhna hai.. janaab zyadatar humne mehbooba ki aankhoN, Naino, deedoN ki tareef suni hai... kyoN ke woh sahi salaamat do aankhoN wali hoti hai... ek aankh wali nahi...LOL..

Kunal sahab mein samajhta hoon ke agar tareef karo to nihsaandehi bhi kiya karo... aapke upar likhe kalaam mein mere hisaab se gar aap sirf ek baar aankh ya aankhoN ka istemaal karte to behtar tha... kalaam ki ravangi (flow) kafi ehmiyat rakhti hain thoda usski jaanib bhi tawajjo dijiye huzoorr..

Meri kisi baat se aap ko Thess pohoNchi ho tao bara-e-meherbaani, khata-e-beikhteyaar samajh ke zer-e-sang-e-tagaaful rakh dijiyega...

KunaaL 18th November 2004 01:11 AM

bhai ... aapke "imaan"shabd ko leke likhne ki koshish karte hai



ajnabi musafiron se hum hal-e-dil farmaya karte hai
tere sajde main sir jhuka, imaan-e-dil jalaya karte hai

har noor hua bekhabar, tanha raha ye safar-e-jindgi..
yadon main doobe, khat-o-kalam mai din bitaya karte hai

andheron ke kueN gehre, noor-e-aaftab* bhi musta^id** nahi
madhosh khud ko bana, dil-e-naadan ko samjhaya karte hai


*suraj ki roshni **sakhsham=capable


maut ke qafile main shamil hu, dafan kar dil main "saccha_pyar"
ibadat ki tere liye, rakib mere arman-e-yar sunaya karte hai


bhai yahi likh paya


talib sir ....

aap kaisi bat kar rahe hai .... aap hi nahi humari galtiyon pe roshni karenge to kaun karega ... abhi shayri ke maidan ka kaccha khiladi hun... hasiyat bhi nahi rakhta ki apnki bazm main kuch farma sakun... bas kuch seekhne ki chah yahan le aayi .. umed hai aap u mehroom nahi karenge hume apni shagirdi se .. main khud ko khushnaseeb samjhunga ... khair aapne mujhe itna kaha usi ke liye shukriya ... aate rahiyega ...

khaksar kunal

Aman_rahi 18th November 2004 12:21 PM

Talib ji......

aap aaye is mehfil mein .....hum sabke liye khuda ki inayat hai.....
Kunal ne sahi farmaya hai ki hum kucche khiladi hain.....aur aap aur Mast bahi apni shaagirdi se hume mehrum nahi rakhenge.....

galti ho jaye to jaroor batayiega......hume sudharna chagenge.....
---------------

Kunal bhai bahut khoob likha hai kalam "Imaan" pe.....

ajnabi musafiron se hum hal-e-dil farmaya karte hai
tere sajde main sir jhuka, imaan-e-dil jalaya karte hai

andheron ke kueN gehre, noor-e-aaftab* bhi musta^id** nahi
madhosh khud ko bana, dil-e-naadan ko samjhaya karte hai


-----------------------
kadi ko badate hue.....

tera Imaan yun tiragi mein na dagmaya hota.....

kabhi jo ehad-e-wafa nibhaya hota......
tera Imaan yun tiragi mein na dagmaya hota.....
hanste hue chale jaate asiir-e-tanhayion mein.....
nigah-e-naaz se jo ek bar tune farmaya hota.....

chal diya apni hi khwab-e-mehfilon mein......
chirag-e-dil se roshan kar dete use bhi hum......
khaaq-e-mohabbat ek baar to aazmaya hota.....

^MAST^ nighaon ka teri nasha kuch aur tha.....
pilata kabhi jo ek baar wafa-e-jaam....
khoo-e-rindaan mein ^SacCha_Pyar^-e-^AMAN^ na aya hota.....

Nelaam-e-izaat ko apni jo rokta ek ghadi.....
kabhi shohrat-e-mohabbat mehakti thi jahan.....
us dahar mein wafa-e-pyar yun bhikhara na paya hota.....

imaan-e-^AMAN^ jo yun raunda na hota.....
sang-e-wafa yun jahan ne mujh par na uthaya hota....
hanste hue chale jaate asiir-e-tanhayion mein.....
nigah-e-naaz se jo ek bar tune farmaya hota.....

kabhi jo ehad-e-wafa nibhaya hota......
tera Imaan yun tiragi mein na dagmaya hota.....


[tiragi = andhere/ darkness]
[asiir-e-tanhayion = qaid tanhayion ki/ prison]
[nigah-e-naaz=nazar jisme ada shaamil ho ]
[khoo-e-rindaan =street of drinkerds]
[dahar = jahan/world]
[sang-e-wafa= pathar wafa ke]


apka apna

Aman_rahi 19th November 2004 02:46 PM

Mast ji......

phele to aap mujhe tum kaha karoo..... aur doosri baat ki imaan pe agla kalam aap hi likh de.N behtar hoga ........

chalta hoon..... apka apna.......

shayri12345 20th November 2004 09:25 AM

hi
 
imaaannn kuch pesh hai jaldi mein


imaan kya chez hai log pal do pal me baich ( sell) diya kartey hai
aaj hamare saath hai kal kisi aur ko thaam liya kartey hai

kehtey hai hum hai tere, rakh mujhpar yaakeen,
hulchal si dil me basa kar, katal e aam kartey hai

jab gum ho jata hai dil ka sukun mere yaaro,
tab is dil ke tuke karke, khud ko kisi aur ke naam kartey hai........

luv priya

shayri12345 20th November 2004 09:32 AM

hi
 
imaan kya chez hai log pal do pal me baich ( sell) diya kartey hai
aaj hamare saath hai kal kisi aur ko thaam liya kartey hai

kehtey hai hum hai tere, rakh mujhpar yaakeen,
hulchal si dil me basa kar, katal e aam kartey hai

jab gum ho jata hai dil ka sukun mere yaaro,
tab is dil ke tuke karke, khud ko kisi aur ke naam kartey hai........

apna banakar chodkar tanhayiyon me ruswayi mei......
dekho dosto hame ishq ki duniya me badnaam kartey hai........

shayri12345 20th November 2004 09:33 AM

hi
 
imaan kya chez hai log pal do pal me baich ( sell) diya kartey hai
aaj hamare saath hai kal kisi aur ko thaam liya kartey hai

kehtey hai hum hai tere, rakh mujhpar yaakeen,
hulchal si dil me basa kar, katal e aam kartey hai

jab gum ho jata hai dil ka sukun mere yaaro,
tab is dil ke tuke karke, khud ko kisi aur ke naam kartey hai........

apna banakar chodkar tanhayiyon me ruswayi mei......
chod kar hame ishq ki duniya me badnaam kartey hai........

Aman_rahi 20th November 2004 09:57 AM

Priya.....

kehtey hai hum hai tere, rakh mujhpar yaakeen,
hulchal si dil me basa kar, katal e aam kartey hai

apna banakar chodkar tanhayiyon me ruswayi mei......
chod kar hame ishq ki duniya me badnaam kartey hai........

aacha likha hai.....

------

mana ke tum jawab nahi dete jawaboon ka.....
ye bhi kya kum hai ki hum sawaal poochte jaate hain......

shayad tum apni hi mehfilon mein masroof ho.....
phir bhi dost tumhari nazm ko daad diye jaate hain......

shikayaaten to auron ne bhi ki tumhari......
tum magroor nahi.....masiha ho....keh -keh hum logon lo manaate hain.....

jo suna jo dekha jo kiya jo khayal aaya.....
chand lafzoon mein tumhe kahe jaate hain.....

mana ke tum jawab nahi dete jawaboon ka.....
ye bhi kya kum hai ki hum sawaal poochte jaate hain......

--------

bura laga to mauf karna.....

shukriya ki imaan ki kadi ko aapne aage badaya......


Ghulam ali ji ki gaayi hui punjabi nazm se ek sher pesh kaare jaa raha hoon.....

rabba yaar milade tu mera.....
main hoor kujh nahi mangda.....
kehda mul lagda hai tera.....
main hoor kujh nahi mangda....

aapka apna

talib 20th November 2004 10:38 AM

IMAAAN
 
IMAAN...baDe.. dilchasp lafz ka intekhaab kiya hai huzoorr. Chand jhumlaat pesh-e-khidmat hai...


Bhagwaan hai, Insaan hai, IMAAN chal basaa,
kuch saal hue jeene ka armaan chal basaa.

Harr moD pe dikhti hia mujhe nangi sihaasat,
Bharat pe garv karne ka vardaan chal basaa.

dhoonDha use harr shey mein, par abb woh kya mile,
woh karke saari duniya ko veeraan chal basa.

Deewar jab gire to mein paooN sukoon-e-dil,
Ke Accha hua ghar nahi makaan chal basaa.

Apnaa hai kya jab bhi kaha dil kholkar kaha,
kuch logon ka tua adaaz-e-bayaan chal basaa.

Qasid 21st November 2004 02:29 AM

Wah dosto!!

aapne to 'imaan' ko ek anuthaa rang diya hai.. Bakhoob har sher khud mein dilchasp aur muqamal

Kunal Bhai..ek nishaan chod gaya yeh sher dil par

ajnabi musafiron se hum hal-e-dil farmaya karte hai
tere sajde main sir jhuka, imaan-e-dil jalaya karte hai


kehtey hai hum hai tere, rakh mujhpar yaakeen,
hulchal si dil me basa kar, katal e aam kartey hai


khoob priya Ji...

isi tarah likhti rahiYeGaa

aman ji...Bahut khoob

chal diya apni hi khwab-e-mehfilon mein......
chirag-e-dil se roshan kar dete use bhi hum......
khaaq-e-mohabbat ek baar to aazmaya hota.....


aur dusri nazm mein bhi kamaal

jo suna jo dekha jo kiya jo khayal aaya.....
chand lafzoon mein tumhe kahe jaate hain.....


par aap is nazm mein shayad lafz 'imaan' ko rakhna bhul gaye...koi baat nahi aage se dhayan rakhiYeGaa

Talib Sir

Deewar jab gire to mein paooN sukoon-e-dil,
Ke Accha hua ghar nahi makaan chal basaa.


Isi andaaz-e-byaan ke to kaatil hai hum...is mehfil ko isi tarah sajaate rahiYe

-aap sab ka

Qasid 21st November 2004 02:33 AM

'Imaan' lafz par 5th sher leekar haazir hoon umeed hai aap sabko pasand aayeGaa

Dekhiye phir, 'imaan' ki baat aayi hai
kabr mein dafn, mehmaan ki yaad aayi hai

*dil-e-qasr mein rehtaa tha, humnashi hokar
mujhe mitaakar, jisne yeh khaak paayi hai

palace of heart

*abr sa rehtaa tha chehra, sawaar aankhon mein
behayaahi bhi jise aab, naa raaz aayi hai

cloud

Dekhiye phir, 'imaan' ki baat aayi hai..

kaafir-e-husn hoon meri baat pe, na jaana yaaro
chot deta hoon kyon ki, chot maine khaayi hai

chod ke jaate ho chale jao, shauq se mehfil
tum pe ae yaar ghadi ilzaam, ki jo aayi hai

bahut honge tere dar par jo jaan nisaar kare
ek mein hoon, ki jisne zindagi gawaayi hai

Dekhiye phir, 'imaan' ki baat aayi hai
kabr mein dafn, mehmaan ki yaad aayi hai

talib 21st November 2004 10:50 AM

Mast sahaab...


Pur asar, pukhta, pur dard..

bahut honge tere dar par jo jaan nisaar kare
ek mein hoon, ki jisne zindagi gawaayi hai

kya baat hai janaab.....ULTIMATE...

Aman_rahi 22nd November 2004 10:46 AM

wah mere bade bhai......

bahut honge tere dar par jo jaan nisaar kare
ek mein hoon, ki jisne zindagi gawaayi hai

is sher ne hi sab kutch bayan kar diya......dil ko choo gaya.....

aadat se majboor kuch aage likh paya hoon.....

Wafa-e-^AMAN^ ka mol na tha koi.....
aaj tuje, teri bewafai bhi na raas aayai hai.....

kya khaoon, be-wafa, be-haya ya phir be-reham....
in alfaazon ko bhi tujhse kuch sharam aayi hai......

aur haan vo jo kuch alfaaz likhte te... vo to maine priya ji ke liye likhe the.... bhool gaya tha... ki kis kadi pe likh raha hoon..... personally mail karni chaiye thi....darasal kafi logon ki shikayton pe vo maine unke liye likha tha......


aainda khayal rakhoonga......

apka apna

Qasid 1st December 2004 09:22 PM

Isse badi izzat kya maangun Talib Sir aapne mere sher ko ULTIMATE keh diya...koshish rahegi ki aage bhi aapke dil ke taar chuu sakun...

Aman Bhai...khoob anjaam diya hai ghazal ko aapne..

kya khaoon, be-wafa, be-haya ya phir be-reham....
in alfaazon ko bhi tujhse kuch sharam aayi hai......

Bahut khoob...

Aap sabka imaan par 6th sher par intezaar raheGaa..Mein nahi likh saktaa kyonki maine 5th sher likha thaa...Rules allow nahin karte...Umeed hai jald hi koi mehfil ko aage badhaYeGaa

likhte rahiYeGaa

aap sabka apnaa

Aman_rahi 27th December 2004 09:57 PM

mere bhayion der se aane ki maufi chahoonga..... kunal ko pata hai ki kya hua tha.....



Talib ji.... aap corrections kar dena.... aur apki shaagirdi ka intezaar hai.......


is kadi ko aage badata hoon.... koi galti ho gayi to zaroor batana....



khaak se utha sitarron tak panhuchya jise.....

dhool me mita ke mera wajood poochte hain.....


pooja tha ghar mein tujhe khuda ki tarah….

Aaj Gali se mere makan ka pata poochte hain…..


Dooba ka kashti ko meri saahil pe…..

Di hue ravaani ka ehsaan poochte hain…..


Pyar ko thukra ke yun gairon ki khatir…..

Meri wafa ka aaj imaan poochte hain…..


Laga ke aag is aashiyaane ko …..

Uthte dhuyen ki wajah poochte hain…..


karte hain dua ki khuda le ja ye- ^AMAN^....

logon se mere marne ka sabab poochte hain.....

Qasid 12th January 2005 11:57 PM

Daad kubool kijiYee aman miyaa

Laga ke aag is aashiyaane ko …..
Uthte dhuyen ki wajah poochte hain…..


Bahut khoob...ek aur line aapke kalaam mein jodne ki gustakhi kar raha hoon

Kaun kehtaa hai ki adaa karti nahi dil ko ghayal,
Gair ki baahon mein mere marne ki wajaah poochte hain..

----------------------------------------------------------------------

ębaarat-e-aSHqiya mein aaye sabhi mushtarik shayaron ko mast ka salaam. Aap sabne behad bey misl tareeke se is bazm ko hamesha taa'iid kiya hai. Lafz 'imaan' ko lekar 6 anmol jigar chuu lene waale nagme pesh kiya gaye. Lafz 'imaan' ki jaa nashiini ko nazar rakhte meri tawaqqo is mehfil se aur bhi bulaand ho gayi hai. Naaye saal mein Naye lafz 'ętebaar' (trust) se yeh mehfil phir shuruN karte hai. Apke marghuub nagmon ka intezaar raheGaa

-aapka apnaa

Aman_rahi 18th January 2005 04:39 PM

Anu veer......


bade dinaan baad reply kita.......

de mere kalam te ina sona sher vi lkih dita.....

is kadi nu aage vaadande hain......shabd hai aitbaar




daaman-e-aitbaar phisalta nazar aaya…..
ilzaam –e- wafa le jab muzrim ban aaya…..

badi aarzoo thi ke milenge zindagi se…...
lauta to maut ka saaman saath le aaya…..

kadi dhoop mein tha thandak ka sahara…..
us shaakh ka patta-patta girta nazar aaya…..

dhundla sa ek aks dekh kood pade aag mein….
bhram toota to apna hi jism jalta nazar aaya…..

kabhi hota tha gumaan is mohabaat pe tujhe ^AMAN^…..
har dar pe ye sar ab jhukta nazar aaya…..



aitbaar pe yahi kutch likh paaya hoon.....

agle kalam ka muntaszir.......


tumhara bhai.......

KunaaL 18th January 2005 09:59 PM

ashq-e-nazar se jhakhm-e-dil ko bhar leNge..
inam-e-ishq se wo gham-e-dastaan bhar leNge...

ujale se nikal ja phunche gumnaam andhere maiN..
jaam-e-jehar se roshan dar-e-kabristan ko kar leNge...

yadoN ke gali main bikta dikh raha "saccha_pyar"...
keemat-e-wafa laga ghayal dil-o-jaan ko kar leNge...

tujhko bhula doouN ye kash munkin hota mere liye...
nakabil-e-faramosh*pal rukhsati-e-paigam** ko kar leNge...

*na bhoolne wala ** aakhiri khat...

phir karegi ruswa mere jazbaat-e-dil ko jamane main...
luta gairat-e-nazar, khuda eitbaar-e-yaar ko kar leNge...


lo aa gaya maiN bhi phir se aapki mehfil maiN ... aur kuch nacheez se afaaz likhta ja raha huN ... umeed hai mehfil ko roshan kareNge ...

duaoN ke sath izzazat

kunal

Aman_rahi 12th February 2005 03:25 PM

Bhayioon......

Apne Mast bhai to aaj kal masrufiat se ghire hue hain.....aur vakt bhi nahi milta ki jara idhar bhi nazar daalen.....

kaafi dinon se ye kadi jo tham gayi thi aage bada raha hoon eitbaar sahbd ko le kar....

" Kahayal kutch yun hai ki husn ko chahe kitna bhi kahoo ya phir jatao..... use humare pyar pe yakeen hi nahi hota aur baar - baar bus poochti hai ki kya tum mujhe chahte ho....... isi khayal ko le jo likha tha aapke saamne pesh kar raha hoon....."



Humne to chooda tere liye zamane ko......
phir kyun rakthi ho shartein saath nibhane ko.....

kya aab bhi nahi eitbaar mere pyar par......
toda har rishta ek bus tujhe paane ko.....

kab se baitha hoon intezaar mein ki.....
aake sajayegi to mere aashiyaane ko.....

yun hi nahi karte taabir ae sanam.....
khuli aankhon mein bhi dekha hai tere hi khwaboon ko.....

itna bhi na itraao ab maan bhi jaao......
mehsoos kiya dil mein teri hi dhadkanon ko.....

dekho kahin bikhar na jaaye yun kashmakash mein ^AMAN^....
thaamo...sameto...bhar lo aagosh mein is deewane ko.....

garima 22nd July 2005 07:25 AM

Hey Bhaiya bahoot buri baat hai na.. ye puraani si thread pichha reh gayi hai.. ise aagi badhani chahiye taaki mere jaise new comers isaka faayda le sake... so aian willing to start it..

Aman Bhaiya ne last word eitbaar rakha tha.. mai wahi se shuruaat kar rahi hoon....

so sweet bhaiya aapne bahoot achha likha hai..

ab meri kadi...

eitbaar par hi to jeete marate hai log
tootte hai is kadar ki aahe bharate hai log

tika hai yeh jahaan eitbaar par yaaron
warna to toote waade roz karte hai log


All times are GMT +5.5. The time now is 03:27 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.