Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil
Zainyji,
pehle toh, aapka bahot bahot shukriya ki yeh ek behtarin shuruaat kii hai aapne. Ek guzaarish hai ki iss thread ko sticky banaayaa jaaye 
aur aapki aur Rajeevji kii baat se bhii sehmat hooN...
toh intezaar rahega, examples ka... khas kar, Zidd saab, aapkii 3rd aur 4th ponts pe...
Ufaq saab jo kehna chahte haiN usska example maiN koshish karta hooN. Ufaq saab agar kuch galti ho toh muaafi ka arzmand rahoonga 
Ufaq: sher ke dono misro me ek rabt (relation) hona chaahiye.. we do lakht kii surat na paida karta ho...
ab usska udaaharan maiN ulta deta hooN
niche ka sher galat hoga..
teree aankheN tere har gham kii baateN keh rahi hai aaj
mere sine meN yeh kaisee agan jalne lagi hai aaj
ab upar ke sher ko dekhenge, toh dono misro meN koee relation hi nahiN hai...
pehla misra, kisee ke gham meN aansoo bahaane kii baat karta hai, jab ki dusre misre meN apne sine meN dard kii aag kii baat huii hai..
isee tarah se, sher adhura bhii nahiN rehna chaahiye... jaise ki;
tumko dekhke mujhe huaa hai
aisaa kya zindagee meN phir se....
ab upar ka sher aadhee hi baat kar rahaa hai, ghazal meN ek sher meN poori baat khatm honee chaahiye, jo upar ke sher meN nahiN ho rahee hai....
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Sabse pahale to aadil sahib aapko aapki koshish Ke liye daad.....pahale socha ki aapne jawaab De hi diya hai.......chhodo kyaa comment karna.....phir janaab newton Ka kuch kahaa yaad Aa gaya.......
our greatest weakness is giving up to apni haqeer raay zaahir lagne Aa gayaa hu....Jo aage tafseel se darj hai
DO-LAKHT Ka maani hai.......do tukhde.....yaani jab sher Ke do misre alag-2 baat kahe to use DO-LAKHT kahate hai ....Jo ki bahut bada aib hai....
Missal Ke liye ek chhota sa qissa suniye.......
Ek baar janaab haidar Ali aatish Ke paas unke ek shaagird apna ye sher lekar aaye
Fasl-e gul me'n mujhe kahtaa hai kih gulshan se nikal
aisii be-par kii udhaataa thaa na saiyaad kabhii
Is sher par aatish sahib ki islaah dekhiye.....
Par katar kar mujhe kahtaa hai kih gulshan se nikal
aisii be-par kii udhaataa thaa nah saiyaad kabhii
Kahane ki koi zaroorat nahi ki pahle sher me DO LAKHT tha Jo aatish saahib ne door kar diya.....lekin do-lakht ko pakadna itna aasan nahi hai aur main apni baat phir duharaata hu.....do lakht ko pakadnaa aasan nahi hai
Ghaalib jaise shaair bhi is aib se Bach nahi paaye....unka ek sher dikhiye
aataa hai mere qatl ko par josh-e rashk se
martaa huu;N us ke haath me;N talvaar dekh kar
Meri auqaat nahi ki Ghalib Ke sher par kuch kahu islie is sher ki baabat
Janab nazm Tabataba'i ke khyaal zaahir kare raha hu
Koi agar mere qatl ko haath me talwaar lekar Aa raha hai to mujhe uske haath me talwaar dekhkar kyun rashk hogaa...dono misro'n me rabt nahi hai.....nazm saahib Urdu shaairi Ke bahut bade adiib the..unki kisi baat ko halke me nahi liya jana chaahiye lekin baad me bahut se aadiibo me is masle par unki purzor khilaafat ki thii...khud mujhe lagtaa hai dono misro me ek saaf rabt hai isliye Maine kahaa thaa ki DO-LAHT ko pakadnaa aasan nahi hai.....ek tarah se main zidd sahib ki baat ko support kar raha hu aur unki is baat Ki mukhaalfat bhi kar raha hu ki kuch bhi black & white nahi hai......as I said ki aib-e-Do lakht pakadnaa aasan nahi hai .....lekin na-mumkin bhi nahi hai.....