[Rohin]

Hi Karan,

Yeh meri pehli koshish thi...

Sahi kahoon to tum bilkul theek keh rahe ho...
Meine qafiya ko dhyan mein nahi rakha tha...
Agar rakha hota to yeh shayad kuch behtar hoti
Likh diya tha kkuch khayal jo man mein the

But I really appreiciate you helping me out...

I know I do not know even a word of urdu properly
Isliye abhi seekh raha hoon..
Tumhe bhi yahan isliye hi bulaya tha...
Pehle to ki kuch agar acha ya bura ho woh pata chal jaaye
Aur doosra meri hi tarah kitne sikhna chahte honge..
Woh bhi mujhe develop hota hua dekh kuch seekh payenge

Well Tumne jo kaha theek kaha...
Haan meine isse pehli gazal kaha apni..
Kyonki yeh meri pehli koshish hai...

I have taken note of ur comments and next time I attempt a gazal i will invite you.... Keep reading and pin point my mistakes in writing... I would really appreciate all comments

Thanks
Rohin