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Ghazal 2: Misum Moosavi |
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(#1)
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Meesam
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Ghazal 2: Misum Moosavi -
18th April 2013, 01:13 AM
Khawateen-o-Hazrat, Mohtaram Naazreen,
As-salam Alaikum!! Iss haqeer ki doosri ghazal aap sab ki buzurg sama'aton ki nazr karta hoon. Meri iss koshish mein se ek qayal ya sirf ek sher bhi agar aapko pasand aaye toh mere liye dua zaroor kijiyega! -Misum Moosavi Ghazal: Meri zubaa(n) pe tera tazkera mudaam rahe Har aik saans mein meri tera hi naam rahe Zamaane bhar mein tere aur honge deewane Bas unn mein aik mera munfarid maqaam rahe Meri nazar se bahot door hai tu door sahi Bas itna chaahta hoon mai dua salaam rahe Tujhe hi dhoondti hai har ghadi nazar meri Teri hi yaad mein ghamgeen meri shaam rahe Gham mere baant lein aisa koi hamdard nahi Khushi ke waqt mein shaamil toh khaas o aam rahe Dinn bahot kam hi bache hai yeh zindagani ke Ab toh bas ahle wafa hi se mujh ko kaam rahe Kuch aisa kaam karu mai ke ahle duniya mein Ke mere baad bhi baaqi mera payaam rahe Har ek lafz mera sama'een tak pohonche Warna phir be asar mera har ek kalaam rahe Shayari shouq se karo magar suno Misum Asaatizah ki buzurgi ka ehteraam rahe ke kitne kheemti gouhar nikalte hai khazaane se~ |
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(#2)
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Anshumali
 
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18th April 2013, 09:36 AM
Quote:
AchChhi ghazal huii ... Mubaaraqbaad !!!   YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
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(#3)
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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18th April 2013, 10:09 AM
Quote:
Misum bhai aaadaab...... bhai kamaal ki ghaazal pesh ki hai aaapne ek ek sher ka jalwa hi alag hai..... bahot kaamaaal likha hai mubaarakbaad qubool karen.. Bas ek choti si iltijaa hai ke jab aap koi kalaam posst kareN to mehrbaani kar ke ek hi appropriate forum me post kijiye, warna duplicate post ko dusri jagah se hataaa diyaa jaaaega... Ye kaalaam jo ghazal section me aapne post ki hai main use mahaz rules ko follow karte hue wahaan se hataa raha hoon.... is ummeed ke saath ke aapko meri baatoN ka buraa nahi lagegaa... aur agar khaatawaar samjheN to muaafi ka arzmand hoon.... Shukriyaa Shaad.... |
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(#4)
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Aapki dost
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18th April 2013, 11:48 AM
MashaAllah behad umda kalaam hai meesum sahab...
Har ek sher lajawaab... Waaaaaah....waaaaah.. Jitni tareef ki jaaye kam hai...bohat hi shaandaar peshkash...waqay dil khush hogaya padhker.. 2,3,7 are the best,dil ki gehraayiyon ko chu gaye yeh ashaar.. Baqi ghazal bhi kamaal hai.. Yuhi likhte rahiye..... Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#5)
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Meesam
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18th April 2013, 08:18 PM
Nek hidaayat ke liye shukriya Shaad sahab,
mujhe aap yeh bhi bata dijiye ke agar hum ghazal likhte hain toh usko 'ghazal' section mein post karna theek hoga ya 'aapki shayari' mein post karein? ke kitne kheemti gouhar nikalte hai khazaane se~ |
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(#6)
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Registered Member
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Location: Hyderabad (Deccan)
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19th April 2013, 12:28 AM
Quote:
MashaAllah! Bayhad aalatareeen ghazal! Bayhad mutaasir huay hayn aapkay is pukhta kalaam say! Hamaree jaanib say dhayroan daad vasool karayn janaab! Good to see such a well versed poet join the family! Looking forward to your future postings! Ahmad |
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(#7)
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Meesam
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19th April 2013, 11:29 PM
Bahot mamnoon-o-mutashakkir hoon aap tamaam hazraat ka ke aap logon ne isay usi quloos ke saath qubool kiya jiss quloos se maine isay likha tha,
Bil qusoos Ahmad sahaab!! aapne jo izzat di mujhe, yeh aapki mohobbat aur aapka husn-e-sama'at hai! Waise aapko bataa doon ke mera bhi talluq Hyderabad Deccan se hai! ke kitne kheemti gouhar nikalte hai khazaane se~ |
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(#9)
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None
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Location: Canada
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26th April 2013, 04:23 AM
ghazal to achi hai , lekin ye aap ne hamaari sama'aton ko buzurg kah kar ...
khair.. aap jis narmi se ghazal kee tamheed baandtey hain, us key baad tanqeed kee gunjaaish kam hee rah jati hai.. mubarakbaad, Feroz Feroz ye zindagi hai kya 'feroz' shayari hai kya kuchh haulnaak haadsey asha'ar ho gaye |
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(#10)
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Meesam
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26th April 2013, 10:22 PM
Janab Feroz sahaab,
Bahot shukriya aapka ke aapne meri is koshsih ko padhne ki zehmat ki. Mai chahoonga ke aap sacche dil se iss ghazal ki pazeerai karein. Ek acche saameh ki nishaani yeh hai ke woh jo sunn raha hai uske har lafz ki taqtee kare aur agar kaheen bhi ghalti hui ho toh fauran tanqeed kar maddah ko islaah ka hukm dein. Agar mujh se kaheen koi kotaahi hogayi ho toh mujhe aagah kar dijiye bhai.. Aapka ehsaan hoga!! ke kitne kheemti gouhar nikalte hai khazaane se~ |
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(#11)
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Registered User
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26th April 2013, 11:47 PM
Quote:
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(#12)
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Meesam
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27th April 2013, 12:41 PM
Salam alaik Hatim sahaab,
Koshish karta hoon ke aapko unn ash'aar ki behr samajh aasake: Behr-e-Mujtas with zihaafaat --------------------------------------- Ma-faa-i-lun Fa-i-laa-tun Ma-faa-i-lun Fa-i-lun Classic by Faiz Ahmed 'Faiz': GuloN meiN rang bhare baad-e-nau-bahaar chale Chale bhii aao ki gulshan ka kaar-o-baar chale ============================================== Poora kalam isi behr par kaha hai maine. Ummeed karta hoon ke baat samajh agayi hogi...agar phir bhi koi sawaal aapke zehen mein hai toh mai aapki khidmat ke liye haazir hoon sarkar! ke kitne kheemti gouhar nikalte hai khazaane se~ |
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(#13)
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Registered User
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28th April 2013, 12:56 AM
Quote:
Ma-faa-i-lun Fa-i-laa-tun Ma-faa-i-lun Fa-i-lun Magar meri naqis samajh se iss ghazal ke chand misray iss behr meiN nahi lagte haiN, maslan :- she'r no.5 ka misra oola- gham mere baaNt leiN aisa koi hamdard nahi 2-----1--2--2--1---2---2-2---1-2--2--2--1---1--2 Faa---i-laa-tun-Fa-oo-lun-Faa-i-lun-Fe-lun-Fa-i-lun issay kuchh yuN hona chahiye :- Ghamo'N ko baaNt le ai sa koi rafeeq nahi 1----2---1--2--1-1---2--2---1-2----1--2-1-1-2 Ma-faa---i-lun--Fa-i-laa-tun-Ma-faa-i-lun-Fa-i-lun she'r no.6- Din bahut kam hi bache haiN ye zindgani ke 2---1---2---2---1--1---2---2----1--2-1-2-2---2 Faa-i-lun Faa---i--la-tun--Faa--i--lun-Ma-faa-ee-lun Ab to bas ahle wafa hi se mera kaam chale 2---1---2---2-1--1--2--2---1--1--2--2--1--1---2 Faa--i--lun-Faa-i-la-tun-Faa-i--la-tun-Faa-i--la-tun issay kuchh yu'N hona chahiye:- Bahut hi kam haiN bache din ye zin d ga n i ke 1---2--1--2----1----1---2--2---1---2-1--2-1-1--2 Ma-faa-i--lun --Fa----i--laa-tun-Ma-faa-i-lun-Fa-i-lun ba sab to ahle wafa hi se mera kaam chale 1---2---1--2-1--1--2--2--1--2--1--2--1--1--2 Ma-faa--i-lun-Fa-i-laa-tun-Ma-faa-i-lun-Fa-i-lun waghairah waghairah ye koi zaroori nahi mera aisa sochna durust ho,kyoNke maiN to abhi khud hi tifle-maktab hooN....l apne ilm meiN izaafa karne ki gharaz se aap ki rahnumaai cgaahta hooN. |
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(#14)
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Meesam
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28th April 2013, 08:35 AM
Bhai itni samajh mujh mein bhi nahi hai kyun maine kaheen seekha nahi hai kisi se.
Bas apni khud ki koshish pesh karta hoon. Mere qayaal hai ke aap ko bohot kuch pata hai. Jis jasaarat se aapne har ek misre ki taqtee kar daali aap ustaad aadmi lagte hain mujhe... Aur phir aapne aap ko tifl e maktab bhi kehte hain.. Yeh inkesaari ki hadh hogayi janaab ke kitne kheemti gouhar nikalte hai khazaane se~ |
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