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Aajkal aisa aadmii kyuuN hai
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prasaxena
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Question Aajkal aisa aadmii kyuuN hai - 22nd July 2002, 06:46 PM

Tamam ahbaab ko nacheez ka salaam

Phir ek baar kaam ki masruufiyaat aur waqt ki tangi aap logoN se kalaam kar paane meiN rukawat dalii. Phir maiNey chand lamhat chura kar socha ke apna ye nayaa kalam aap ke saamney pesh karooN. Ahl-e-shayri.com se... Khas taur par Feroz sahab aur Maikash sahab se guzarish hai ke apne khayaloN aur tassuraat se zaroor nawazeN.
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GHAZAL


Aajkal aisa aadmii kyuuN hai
Uski baatoN meiN tangdilii kyuuN hai

Dard ka daur har ghadii kyuuN hai
Mukhtasar si harik khushii kyuuN hai

Har ghadee poochta hai dil mujhse
Uski ulfat meiN berukhii kyuuN hai

Itna sab zindagii meiN paakar bhii
Khud se mehroom aadmii kyuuN hai

Zindagi ko naye jo deiN maanii
Un khayaloN ki ab kamii kyuuN hai

De gaya kitnii talkhiyaaN phir bhii
Uski yaadoN meiN dilkashii kyuuN hai

Ik samandar ke paas rehta hooN
Phir bhi ehsaas-e-tashnagii kyuuN hai

Ussey bichade huve hua arsaa
Ab talak aaNkh meiN namii kyuuN hai

Lag gayii hai nazar isey kiskii
Sehmi-sehmi si ye sadii kyuuN hai

Daur-e-nau meiN yaqiiN mohabbat pe
Jaane mujhmeiN hii ye kamii kyuN hai

Soch ko uski kya hua hai ‘Praveen’
Gum khayaloN se roshnii kyuuN hai



Praveen Saxena


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi

Last edited by prasaxena; 18th August 2002 at 12:35 AM..
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Feroz
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25th July 2002, 08:51 AM

praveen sahab

aap ki ghazal paDh to lii thii lekin jawaab nahin de sakaa.
ghazal bahut pasand aayiil,, saadaa uar khubsurat


Aajkal aisa aadmii kyuuN hai
Uski baatoN meiN tangdilii kyuuN hai
>.. waah

Dard ka daur har ghadii kyuuN hai
Mukhtasar si harik khushii kyuuN hai
>...... waahh sachii baat hai..

Har lamha poochta hai dil ye hii
Uski ulfat meiN berukhii kyuuN hai
>... pahla misra bahr meiN nahiiN hai.. kyuNkey aap ne lamhaa ko lamaah paDhaa hai.. isey yuN kahiye. ye hii ko aam yahii kahaa jaataa hai..

har ghaDii puuchtaa hai dil meraa.


Itna sab zindagii meiN paakar bhii
Khud se mehroom aadmii kyuuN hai
>... bahut achaa...

Zindagi ko naye jo deiN maanii
Un khayaloN ki ab kamii kyuuN hai
>.... bahut hii khoob

Bewajah dushmanii hi kya kam thii
Bewajah ab ye dostii kyuuN hai
>....... ye sher kuchh kamzor lagaa.. is meiN kuchh behtari laayiye..


De gaya kitnii talkhiyaaN phir bhii
Uski yaadoN meiN dilkashii kyuuN hai
>.. waah


Ik samandar ke paas rehta hooN
Phir bhi ehsaas-e-tashnagii kyuuN hai
>...... hai hai.. hamarey kaam kii baat kiii . waise kyaa tashnagii kaa tallafuz tashnigi hotaa hai (shayad)

Ussey bichade huve hua arsaa
Ab talak aaNkh meiN namii kyuuN hai
>.. khoobbbb

Lag gayii hai nazar usey kiskii
Sehmi-sehmi si ye sadii kyuuN hai
>... pahley msirey meiN sadii ko aapney usey kahaa hai aur duusrey meiN 'ye' , ye theek nahiiN pahley misrey meiN usey ko isey kar diijiiye...

Daur-e-nau meiN yaqiiN mohabbat pe
Jaane mujhmeiN yehi kamii kyuuN hai
>... khhoob lekin maiN doosrey misery ko yuuN kahta
jaaney mujhmeiN hii ye kamii kyuN hai.

Soch ko uski kya hua hai ‘Praveen’
Gum khayaloN se roshnii kyuuN hai
>.. waise is shr meiN praveen ko parveen paDhnaa pad rahaa hai..

bahut khoob .. mubaarak ho.

Feroz
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Bahut Shukriya Feroz Sahab
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prasaxena
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Thumbs up Bahut Shukriya Feroz Sahab - 25th July 2002, 05:45 PM

Feroz sahab

Aapne meri guzarish par ghaur kiya aur apni nazar is ghazal par daali uske liye maiN aapka tah-e-dil she shukr guzar hooN. Aur aapki rae se kuch baateiN saaf huii jo shayad likhte hue zehan se nahiN guzriiN.


Har lamha poochta hai dil ye hii
Uski ulfat meiN berukhii kyuuN hai
>... pahla misra bahr meiN nahiiN hai.. kyuNkey aap ne lamhaa ko lamaah paDhaa hai.. isey yuN kahiye. ye hii ko aam yahii kahaa jaataa hai..
ye baat mujhe bhi mehsoos huii thii lekin mainey is khayal se ye misra rakha ke shayad bolne meiN isey 'yeh hii' kar ke boleiN. Aur jo aapne tajveez kiya hai wo to khair apni jagah durust hai hi.


Bewajah dushmanii hi kya kam thii
Bewajah ab ye dostii kyuuN hai
>....... ye sher kuchh kamzor lagaa.. is meiN kuchh behtari laayiye..

aapka kehna sahi hai poori ghazal meiN ye sher kuch kamzoor hai mein kuch koshish karke post karoonga.

Ik samandar ke paas rehta hooN
Phir bhi ehsaas-e-tashnagii kyuuN hai
>...... hai hai.. hamarey kaam kii baat kiii . waise kyaa tashnagii kaa tallafuz tashnigi hotaa hai (shayad)

is baarey mein meaiN bhi kuch clear nahiN hooN kyunke jab mujhe ismeiN confusion laga to maiNey kuch jagjit sahab aur ghulam ali sahab ki gaayee ghazleiN sunuiiN to yahii talaffuz laga. Agar aap is baarey mein batayen toh us hisaab se maiN ismeiN tarmeem kar looga.


Lag gayii hai nazar usey kiskii
Sehmi-sehmi si ye sadii kyuuN hai
>... pahley msirey meiN sadii ko aapney usey kahaa hai aur duusrey meiN 'ye' , ye theek nahiiN pahley misrey meiN usey ko isey kar diijiiye...

sahi farmaya aapne.

Daur-e-nau meiN yaqiiN mohabbat pe
Jaane mujhmeiN yehi kamii kyuuN hai
>... khhoob lekin maiN doosrey misery ko yuuN kahta
jaaney mujhmeiN hii ye kamii kyuN hai.

jis tarah aapne kaha us sey sher meiN aur jaan aa gayi hai. shukriya.

Soch ko uski kya hua hai ‘Praveen’
Gum khayaloN se roshnii kyuuN hai
>.. waise is shr meiN praveen ko parveen paDhnaa pad rahaa hai..
yahn maiN aapki baat kuch samajh nahiN paya ke aap parveen kyuuN padhenge. Agar zara aur tafseel se batayeN to mehrbaani hogi.


Feroz sahab aapko ashaar pasand aaye ye mere liye badi khushi ki baat hai. Halaanke kaafi arse se likh rahaa hooN lekin in sites ka pata chalney ke baad likhna kuch aur regular ho gaya hai. Ummeed hai aagey bhi aapsey aise hi tabadla-e-khyal hote rahenge.

faqat
Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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Re: Aajkal aisa aadmii kyuuN hai
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Re: Aajkal aisa aadmii kyuuN hai - 4th August 2002, 01:49 AM

Mohtarim Praveen Sahab

Aapki ye ghazal to dil jeet le gayee apna. Sadagi ke kya kehne lekin uski khoobsurti meinkoi kami nahiN. Har sher meiN aapne bade kaam ke sawaal uthaaye hain.

Yeh sher mujhe khas taur par pasand haiN.

Aajkal aisa aadmii kyuuN hai
Uski baatoN meiN tangdilii kyuuN hai
waqai badal rha hai insaan. Mujhe yaad aata hai kavi pradeep ka wo gaana... dekh tere sasaar ki hlat kya ho gai bhagwan)

Dard ka daur har ghadii kyuuN hai
Mukhtasar si harik khushii kyuuN hai
wah sahi kaha aapne.

Itna sab zindagii meiN paakar bhii
Khud se mehroom aadmii kyuuN hai

Zindagi ko naye jo deiN maanii
Un khayaloN ki ab kamii kyuuN hai

Bewajah dushmanii hi kya kam thii
Bewajah ab ye dostii kyuuN hai
(ye sher baqi ghazal ke flavour se thda alag hai ya jaisa ke Feroz sahab farmate haiN kamzor hai)

De gaya kitnii talkhiyaaN phir bhii
Uski yaadoN meiN dilkashii kyuuN hai

Ik samandar ke paas rehta hooN
Phir bhi ehsaas-e-tashnagii kyuuN hai

Ussey bichade huve hua arsaa
Ab talak aaNkh meiN namii kyuuN hai

Lag gayii hai nazar isey kiskii
Sehmi-sehmi si ye sadii kyuuN hai
(ye sadi waqai badi sehmi hui hai)

Daur-e-nau meiN yaqiiN mohabbat pe
Jaane mujhmeiN hii ye kamii kyuN hai

Soch ko uski kya hua hai ‘Praveen’
Gum khayaloN se roshnii kyuuN hai
(Insaan ke khayalaat roshan ho jayen to ye duniya jannat na ban jaye)


bahut khoob praveen ji. Aapke naye heron ki daad dene ka mauqa jald hi milega is umeed ke saath

sahir


'sahir' hindostani
   
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Bahut achhe
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Chaand
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Thumbs up Bahut achhe - 5th August 2002, 11:21 AM

Praveen Saxenaji,
Aapne waakai bahut aachha likha hai, her stenza khubsurat shabdo, ke alawa khubsoorat baat liye huve hai.

YooNhi likhte rahiye,

regards

Chaand


Sachh bolne ka hausla to, hum bhi rakhte haiN lekin
Anjaam sochkar, aksar khaamosh hi reh jaate haiN.

- Chaand
   
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Re: Re: Aajkal aisa aadmii kyuuN hai
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prasaxena
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Thumbs up Re: Re: Aajkal aisa aadmii kyuuN hai - 9th August 2002, 08:31 PM

Janab Sahir Sahab

Ek baar phir aapki daad ka shukriya.

Aapne ghazal ko is qadar pasand kiya aur saraha hai ke ye mere liye hosla badhane wali baat hai. Aapka shukriya.

JahaN tak bayaN ki saadgi ki baat hai to uski wajah shayad ye hai ke nacheez advertising industry maiN hai. Aur ismeiN hamari pehli zaroorat hi ye hoti hai ke hum jo kaheN wo aam aadmi ko aasani se samajh aaye. Aur simple ho lekin pur asar bhi ho.

Isi wajah se shayad meri shayri meiN zyada bhari bharkam alfaaz nazar nahiN aate.

Aapki tareef ka ek baar phir se tahe dil se shukriya.

Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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Shukriya
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prasaxena
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Shukriya - 9th August 2002, 08:35 PM

Chand Sahab

Aapki tareef ka bahut shukriya.
Aapko ghazal pasand aayee, ye hamare liye badi utsaah wardhak baat hai. Aasha hai ke aise hi aap hamara sahas badhate rahenge.

Phir se shukriya ke saath

Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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Bahut khoob..
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shumaila
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Thumbs up Bahut khoob.. - 11th August 2002, 05:53 PM

Salaam Praveen sahab!!!

Mai kuch din se bahut bz thi isliye bazm meiN nahi aa pa rahi thi...ab aayi hoon to araam se sab ki ghazleiN parhke jawaab de rahi hoon...aap ki ye ghazal bhi hamesha ki tarah mashallah bahut khoob hai!!!

Pehle hi itne log aapki ghazal ki itni taareef kar chuke hain ke hamare liye kuch kehne ke liye hi nahi choRha Phir bhi itni acchi ghazal pe kuch kahe bina to jaa nahi paaongi..LOL.....

Aapne apne sabhi sher meiN bahut acchi aur sacchi baat kahi hai...ye ashaar bahut acche lage..

Aajkal aisa aadmii kyuuN hai
Uski baatoN meiN tangdilii kyuuN hai

Dard ka daur har ghadii kyuuN hai
Mukhtasar si harik khushii kyuuN hai

Har lamha poochta hai dil ye hii
Uski ulfat meiN berukhii kyuuN hai

Itna sab zindagii meiN paakar bhii
Khud se mehroom aadmii kyuuN hai

Zindagi ko naye jo deiN maanii
Un khayaloN ki ab kamii kyuuN hai

De gaya kitnii talkhiyaaN phir bhii
Uski yaadoN meiN dilkashii kyuuN hai

Ik samandar ke paas rehta hooN
Phir bhi ehsaas-e-tashnagii kyuuN hai

--Maine check kiya hai.....sahii talaffuz 'tashnagii' hi hai aur 'tishnagi' bhi hota hai

Ussey bichade huve hua arsaa
Ab talak aaNkh meiN namii kyuuN hai

Daur-e-nau meiN yaqiiN mohabbat pe
Jaane mujhmeiN hii ye kamii kyuN hai


Likhtey rahiye..

Adaab,
Shumaila


kabhi kisi ko muqammal jahan nahi milta
kahiiN zameeN to kahiiN aasmaN nahi milta!!
   
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SMAH
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Thumbs up 12th August 2002, 06:20 AM

bohut acche
bohut khoob likha hai aapne.

moin hussain


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Bahut Shukriya
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prasaxena
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Thumbs up Bahut Shukriya - 16th August 2002, 08:08 PM

Adaab Shumaila ji

Bade arsey ke baad aapse mukhatib hooN. KyoNke na aapka kalaam aur na hi aapki rae mili.

Khair aapne waqt nikal kar apni rae di apne usii jane-pehchane andaaz meiN. Aapkii tareef aur daad ka bohat shukriya.

Zindagi kii kaii sachchaiiyaN mujhe sochne ko majboor karti rehti haiN aur wo aksar mere ashaar ki shakl meiN kaghaz par utar aatey haiN.

(Maine check kiya hai.....sahii talaffuz 'tashnagii' hi hai aur 'tishnagi' bhi hota hai)
Jii haan maine bhi check kiya thaa ke ye donoN hi talffuz hotey haiN. Aapka shukriya iske liye bhi.

Aapke naye kalaam ka intezaar rahega.

Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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prasaxena
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Thumbs up Bahut Shukriya - 16th August 2002, 08:11 PM

Janaab Moin Sahab

Ghazal pasand karne ke liye aapka shukriya.
Aagey bhi aise hi hausla afzaii karte rahiye.

ek baar phir shukriya ke saath
Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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Thumbs up 20th August 2002, 03:32 AM

Adaab guruji!....kaise hain aap?....aapne yaad kiya aur hum haazir!...der se sahi :P .... bas yehi ek ghazal thi jispe humari rai deni baaki thi....aaj thoda waqt mila hain.....yeh ghazal to hume bahut pasand aayi...kuch alag hain....

Aajkal aisa aadmii kyuuN hai
Uski baatoN meiN tangdilii kyuuN hai

Har ghadee poochta hai dil mujhse
Uski ulfat meiN berukhii kyuuN hai

Itna sab zindagii meiN paakar bhii
Khud se mehroom aadmii kyuuN hai

Zindagi ko naye jo deiN maanii
Un khayaloN ki ab kamii kyuuN hai

De gaya kitnii talkhiyaaN phir bhii
Uski yaadoN meiN dilkashii kyuuN hai

Ussey bichade huve hua arsaa
Ab talak aaNkh meiN namii kyuuN hai

Soch ko uski kya hua hai ‘Praveen’
Gum khayaloN se roshnii kyuuN hai

....bahut khoob guruji....aur haan aap woh sehra yahan post karne waale the?....aashaa hai ki aapse jald online bhet hogi...tab tak ke liye aapko anamika ka salaam! ...


ye jo ham hijr meiN deewaar-o-dar ko dekhte haiN
kabhee saba ko kabhee naamaabar ko dekhte haiN

woh aaye ghar meiN hamaare KHuda ki kudrat hai
kabhee ham unko, kabhee apane ghar ko dekhte haiN

nazar lage na kaheeN uske dast-o-baazoo ko
ye log kyoN mere zaKHm-e-jigar ko dekhtaiN haiN ?
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prasaxena
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Thumbs up Muafi Chahtey hue Shukriya - 27th August 2002, 12:23 AM

Adaab Anamika ji

Kaam ki zyadtii ne aapko waqt par jawab likhne na diya. Lekin aapki daad ne behad hausla badhaya. Iske liye aapka bahut shukriya. Ummeed hai aap khairiyat se hongi.

Kya baat hai bahut dinoN se aapki qalam se kuch padhne ko nahiN mila. Ummeed karta hooN ke aapki koshisheN jaari hongi. Aur ummeed hai ke aapka naya kalam jald hi padhne ko milega. Tab tak duaoN ke saath.

Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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6th September 2002, 03:43 AM

praveen sahab

aadaab

sabse se pehle to aapki jaanib se muaaf kiye jaane ka talabgaar huuN.....aapne khaadim ko khusuusi daavat di.....itne ehteraam ke baad bhi mujhe jawaab haazir karne meiN itni daer ho gayi......bohat sharmiNdaa huuN sahab.....!!

kya kahuuN bhai kambakht kaRaa waqt yuuN haath dho ke peeche pada hai ke na bhaage banta hai na dam liye.....

ba-har-haal .....aapki ghazal pe aate haiN

ab ustaad-e-mohtaram ke jawaab ke baad meri to himmat nahiiN padti kuch kehne ki bhai

phir bhi itna zaroor kahuuNga ke ghazal badi dilkash lagi .....kayii dafaa padhii aur har baar lutf ki baarish se do-chaar hue........


ek baar phir se mazrat chahta huuN

ummiid hai ke aapka agla kalaam jald ki padhne ko milega

maikasH


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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Shukria
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prasaxena
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Thumbs up Shukria - 7th October 2002, 06:29 PM

Janab Maikash Saheb

aadaab

Sabse pehle to muafi ka talabgaar hoon. Is gustakhi ke liye ke aapki daad par waqt par shukria bhi ada na kar paya.

Lekin jis waqt ki ye baat hai us waqt mein pehle to bahar tha aur lauta to bimaar pad gaya. Aisi tabiyat kharab hui ke theek hote hue 3 weeks se bhi zyada ka waqt lag gaya. Aur phir office ki backlog.

Phir bhi aap ki daad ka tah-e-dil se shukriya ada karta hoon. Aapse guzarish hai ke nacheez ki is dauran kahi ek ghazal aapki shayri forum par hai. Umeed karta hoon ke aapki nigah-e-karam is par bhi hogi.

Shukria phir ek baar mazrat chahte hue
Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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Thumbs up Shukria - 14th October 2002, 07:24 PM

Zara Suniye Sahab

Sabse pehle to mazrat chahta hooN ke aapki daad ka jawaab dene mein nacheez ne itna wat le liya.

Aapne ghazal pasand kii aapka shukria. Is se bhi zyada isbaat ke liye ke ismeiN aapko apne dil kii baat jaisi lagii. Badi khushii huii ye jaan kar. Ummeed hai aainda bhi aapki himmat afzaii milti rahegii.

Abhii haal hi meiN maine aik aur kalaam is forum mein post kiya hai. Waqt nikal kar apni rae se nawaziyega.

phir aik baar shukria ke saath
Praveen

Quote:
Originally posted by ZaraSuniye
Praveen ji:

Aadaab. Yaha se guzarte waqt aapki is ghazal par nazar paDi aur kuch ashaar the jo hame behad pasand aaye. paD kar laga jaise hamare hi dil ka haal suna rahe the . . .

"Har lamha poochta hai dil ye hii
Uski ulfat meiN berukhii kyuuN hai

De gaya kitnii talkhiyaaN phir bhii
Uski yaadoN meiN dilkashii kyuuN hai

Ussey bichade huve hua arsaa
Ab talak aaNkh meiN namii kyuuN hai"

Is liye sochaa ke itni achchi ghazal kehne par apni mubarakbaad dete jaaye. Jis ghazal mein paDne waale ki nazar khud ko dekh sake, vo to hamesha qaabil-e-taariif rahegi.

is ghazal mein hame apna aks dikha hai
likhne waale ne bhie kya khoob likha hai

- Zara Suniye


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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confusion ke liye muaaf kiijiiyega
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prasaxena
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confusion ke liye muaaf kiijiiyega - 18th October 2002, 07:00 PM

Deepa ji

Aadaab

Sabse pehle toh aapse muafi ka talabgaar hooN is confusion ke liye. KyuNke maiN kuch samajh nahiN paa raha tha ke aapko kis tarah address karoN. Aapne ghalat fehmi door kar dii hai toh aage se khayal rahega. Shukria.

Jaisa ke aapne likha hai ke apne kalaamoN par aapki hausla afzai miltii rahegi iske liye phir ek baar aapka shukria.

Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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