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do ashq meri yaad mein bahaa jaate to kya jaata
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maikasH
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do ashq meri yaad mein bahaa jaate to kya jaata - 18th September 2002, 10:15 AM

do ashq meri yaad mein bahaa jaate to kya jaata
chaNd kaliyaaN laash par bicHaa jaate to kya jaata

aaye ho mayyat par sanam ooDh kar naqaab tum
agar ye chaand ka tukda dikhaa jaate to kya jaata

poochte the log tumse kiska hai janaazaa yeh
marne waala kaun tha bataa jaate to kya jaata

sabke saamne merii ulfat ko ruswaa kar diyaa
nazar ki talKhii_yaaN ,cHupaa jaate to kya jaata

har zakhm ne mere tumhe diiN haiN duaayeN umr bhar
haye, ik baar seene se lagaa jaate to kya jaata

tumko yaad karte-karte jaan de di "maikasH" ne
ikk chiraag hi mazaar par jalaa jaate to kya jaata



maikasH


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
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excellent
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pyaasa
PYAASA SHAYAR
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Thumbs up excellent - 18th September 2002, 01:58 PM

ab is ghazal ki tareef ke liye mere paas alfaaz nahi hain

bahut hi achha likha hai aapne


TERE CHEHRE PAR UJAALA RAHE HAR WAQT YEHI DUA HAI
APNI LAASH JALAAKAR TERE CHEHRE PAR UJAALA LE AAYENGE
******************************
PHOOL KHILTE HAIN LOG MILTE HAI
PATJHAD MEIN JO PHOOL MURJHA JAATE HAIN
WOH BAHARON KE AANE SE KHILTE NAHI
KUCH LOG EK ROZ JO BICHHAD JAATE HAIN
WOH HAZAARON KE AANE SE MILTE NAHI
UMRA BHAR CHAHE KOI PUKARA KARE UNKA NAAM
WOH FIR NAHI AATE WOH FIR NAHI AATE
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Feroz
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22nd September 2002, 03:48 AM

janaab maikash sahab

aap kii ghazal padhii aur aap kaa makhsus rang liye huey hai.. mubaarak ho.. haalaaNkey "overall" ghazal achchii hai lekin phir bhii kuchch baateiN...

>do ashq meri yaad mein bahaa jaate to kya jaata
chaNd kaliyaaN laash par bicHaa jaate to kya jaata
- khyaal ke lihaaz se matlaa pasaNd aayaa. lekin is ghazal kii bahr ne mujhey thodaa sa confuse kar diya hai.. mainey isey kai tareekoN se padhnaa chaahaa lekin bahr ko kuch samajh nahiiN aa sakaa aap zaraa wazaahat kiijiiyegaa

maiN is sher ko kuch is bahr meiN kahtaa
merii mayiyat pe do aansuu bahaa jaatey to achchaa thaa.
ye kaliyaaN laash par meri bichchaa jatey to achaa thaa.

2.
aaye ho mayyat par sanam ooDh kar naqaab tum
agar ye chaand ka tukda dikhaa jaate to kya jaata
>. pahlaa misrey ko phir se likhiye. doosraa misraa bilkul theek bahr meiN hai.

merii aap se ghuzaarish hai ki aap is ghazal par phir se nazar saanii kareiN.. koshish kareiN ki jo bahr mainey bataayii hai us ko dhyaan meiN rakheiN..


Feroz



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ye zindagi hai kya 'feroz' shayari hai kya
kuchh haulnaak haadsey asha'ar ho gaye
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Mahek
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25th September 2002, 01:34 AM

Namaste Jashan-Jee - bahut dinon baad aapki koi ghazal padhi - kaafi achchi koshish hai - as usual - wahi theme - wahi dard - wahi andaaz

do ashq meri yaad mein bahaa jaate to kya jaata
chaNd kaliyaaN laash par bicHaa jaate to kya jaata

- wah wah!

aaye ho mayyat par sanam ooDh kar naqaab tum
agar ye chaand ka tukda dikhaa jaate to kya jaata

- bahut khoob!

poochte the log tumse kiska hai janaazaa yeh
marne waala kaun tha bataa jaate to kya jaata

- wah wah!

sabke saamne merii ulfat ko ruswaa kar diyaa
nazar ki talKhii_yaaN ,cHupaa jaate to kya jaata

- 'talkhii_yaan' ka matlab?

har zakhm ne mere tumhe diiN haiN duaayeN umr bhar
haye, ik baar seene se lagaa jaate to kya jaata

- wow - bahut hi khoob

tumko yaad karte-karte jaan de di "maikasH" ne
ikk chiraag hi mazaar par jalaa jaate to kya jaata

-wah wah - achchi ghazal hai - aashaa hai ki aap khaireeyat se hai - take care

- Mahek -


zindagI jab bhI terI bazm mein LAtI hai hamein
ye zamIn chAnd se behatar nazar AtI hai hamein

surkh phUlon se MAHEK uThatI hain dil kI rAhen
din Dhale yUN terI AvAz bulAtI hai hamein
----------------------------------------------
taeray Gham ki KhuShbu say jism-o-jaaN MAHEK uTThay
saaNs ki havaa jab bhi Choo kay maeray lab guzri

aek saath reh kay bhi, door hi rahay ham bhi
dhoop aur Chaa'ooN ki dosti ajab guzri
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