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teraa dar ho - ek taazaa ghazal
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Feroz
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teraa dar ho - ek taazaa ghazal - 10th October 2002, 09:53 AM

dosto

Sept 28 ko kahii ek ghazal haazir hai.. mere khyaal se mainey itnii muKhtsar bahr meiN pahley kabhii ghazal nahiiN kahii.. mulaahizaa ho

teraa dar ho
meraa sar ho

noor ho aisaa
jo ghar-ghar ho

zakhm ho gahraa
aur andar ho

jhoNkaa hai ya
tum baahar ho.

phir se chchalko
tum saaGhar ho

khushboo ho,
mere andar ho

pighal bhii jao!
kyaa paththar ho?

geet ho,merey
hoNTo par ho

dil joDo gar
shiishaagar ho.
_*_*_*_*_**__*_*

mere khyaal meiN aur bhii sher kahey jaa saktey they.. lekin maiNey yahiiN khatam karnaa munaasib samjhaa.
aap kii aaraa kaa intezaar rahegaa.. khaas taur pe is liiye taaqiid kar rahaa huuN ki mainey pahlii baar muKhtasir bahr meiN koshish kii hai..
shukria

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ZaraSuniye
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11th October 2002, 09:03 AM

Feroz jee:

vaise to aapki kahi har ghazal dil choo leti hai lekin yeh zara hat ke thii. Itni mukhtsar bahr mein kehne waala andaaz bahut achchaa laga. Yuun lagta hai jaise is andaaz ne ghazal ko ek masoomiyat si de di, jaise kise chote bache ke chehre pe nazar aati hai. Yakeen maaniye, ghazal bahut hi dilnasheen aur pyaari lagi.

Khaas kar ke yeh do sher bahut pasand aaye

phir se chchalko
tum saaGhar ho
wah! kitne kam lafzoN mein kitni badi baat keh di

pighal bhii jao!
kyaa paththar ho?
is andaaz-e-shikaayat ke to kya kehne!

Khuda kare aapke qalaam paDne ko milta rahe.

Rab rakhaa


Aapki shayari ki qaayal
- Zara Suniye


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Feroz
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18th October 2002, 06:49 AM

zara suniye
shukria aap kaa
kii aap ne yahaaN aa kar merii ghazal ko paDhney par waqt sarf kiiyaa aur phir hauslaa afzaai bhii kii .. ye ghazal itnii jaldii ban gayii ki maiN khud hairaan huuN. baharhaal aap kaa shukria..aaiNdaa bhiii isii tarah karam famaatii rahiyegaa...

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