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Location: Hyderabad (Deccan)
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24th June 2014, 07:43 AM
Aadaab bhaeeo wa behno... sorry jaldee mayn boo boo hogaya... kal... bay-bahr shayr post kar diya.. but anyways.. am trying my best to move forward with you guys.. hoping it would continue the process ..yielding more knowledge on us seekers..... please help in moving ahead...
please help choose which one to go ahead with...
Main huN jaaNbaaz karuN jaan kii kyuN mayN parwah,
Ki meri jaan, meri jaan to jaanee haye ye!
or
Nahi maamooli koee gul jo din mayn khil jaaye
Karay mad-hosh ye shab raat ki raanee haye ye!
Please do not hesitate to express your opinions/views etc...
Duagoh
Ahmad
Last edited by Ahmad Hyderabadi; 24th June 2014 at 07:46 AM..
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Banned
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24th June 2014, 02:57 PM
Bahot khoob Ahmadji dono hi sher bahot khoobsurat hain
Waise kamaal hai yahan humse ek sher nahin ban rahi aapne do-do bana diye.......
@Zidd sogae ho kya ghazal puri hone ayi hai aur tumhara kuch ata pata nahin hai
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Aapki dost
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24th June 2014, 08:41 PM
Zidd sahab aapse guzarish hai ke jo ashaar aapne accept kar liye hain unhe ek jagah post kijiye. ..taaki hame kafiya chunne me aasani ho...
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
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Registered User
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24th June 2014, 08:53 PM
abhi 6 days baqi hai ..................................
ye ghazal month end khatm hogi.
after that all editing /cutting/choosing will be done.
the final ghazal will be posted on 15 july.
but on 1 july we will start a new ghazal, with a new radeef /qafiya.
regards
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Aapki dost
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25th June 2014, 11:05 PM
My sher!
Ishq ki raah meiN wo tod ke taare laaye
Dil e khushfehm ko ummeed jataani hai yeH
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
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Registered User
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Posts: 1,646
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mumbai, India
Rep Power: 22
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26th June 2014, 09:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy
My sher!
Ishq ki raah meiN wo tod ke taare laaye
Dil e khushfehm ko ummeed jataani hai yeH
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waaah waaah....
bahot hi khub sher hai, Zainyji..
ab baaki ke 7 ashaar market meN rakh dijiye auctioning achchhee hogi LOLzzz
ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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Registered User
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Location: Mumbai, India
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26th June 2014, 10:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen
Maine to ek sher post bhi kar di lekin ladkon ka hazma kharab hogaya
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arrey! aapka sher achchha tha, Nazneen.. agar aapko lagtaa hai ki thoda zyada rumaanee ho gayaa hai toh dusra misra thoda change kar lo? vaise bhii tishnagi lafz beher men fit nahi baith rahaa hai
aur jaldi post karo.. aapka sher abhii bhii baaki hai...
ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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Aapki dost
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26th June 2014, 12:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil
waaah waaah....
bahot hi khub sher hai, Zainyji..
ab baaki ke 7 ashaar market meN rakh dijiye auctioning achchhee hogi LOLzzz
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Hahaha ..jee zaroor aadil sahab. ..ab inhi bikwaane ki zimmedaari aapki...ek ek sher ka ek lakh se kam nahi lungi..lol
Khaab ab din ko bhi, aankhoN mai utr aate haiN*
Raaz ki baat magr unko bataani hai ye
Meri palkoN pe sitaaroaN ko wo sajenyega
Dil e khushfehm ko ummeed jataani hai ye
Sard lehjo mai bhi tufaan utha sakta hai*
Ishq mai aankh se behta hua paani hai ye
Ishaq ki aag har ek dil mein laga jayega*
aesi barsaat ka jalta hua paani hai yeh
Wasl hai jheel se, kis darja ki khamoshi mai
Ishq ke jharney ka behta hua paani hai ye
Surkh, narangi, hara aur gulaabi sa bhi
Ishq ke rangoN se milta hua paani hai ye
Sard mausam mai bhi ye aag laga sakta hai
Aaye barsaat tou jalta hua paani hai ye
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 61
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26th June 2014, 12:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy
Hahaha ..jee zaroor aadil sahab. ..ab inhi bikwaane ki zimmedaari aapki...ek ek sher ka ek lakh se kam nahi lungi..lol
Khaab ab din ko bhi, aankhoN mai utr aate haiN*
Raaz ki baat magr unko bataani hai ye
Meri palkoN pe sitaaroaN ko wo sajenyega
Dil e khushfehm ko ummeed jataani hai ye
Sard lehjo mai bhi tufaan utha sakta hai*
Ishq mai aankh se behta hua paani hai ye
Ishaq ki aag har ek dil mein laga jayega*
aesi barsaat ka jalta hua paani hai yeh
Wasl hai jheel se, kis darja ki khamoshi mai
Ishq ke jharney ka behta hua paani hai ye
Surkh, narangi, hara aur gulaabi sa bhi
Ishq ke rangoN se milta hua paani hai ye
Sard mausam mai bhi ye aag laga sakta hai
Aaye barsaat tou jalta hua paani hai ye
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waahhhh zainy kahaan to ek sher nahi ban rahaa thaa kahaaan poorii ghazal likh ke baithii ho... kamaaal hai yaar..
wese ek baat bataaiye is ghazal ka matlaaa kahaan hai, hame nazar hi nhi aa raha, kya pata ho mujhe hi na dikh raha ho, ab umr bhii to itnee ho gayee hai.... uhhu uhhhuuu....
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Registered User
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Location: Mumbai, India
Rep Power: 22
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26th June 2014, 12:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy
Hahaha ..jee zaroor aadil sahab. ..ab inhi bikwaane ki zimmedaari aapki...ek ek sher ka ek lakh se kam nahi lungi..lol
Khaab ab din ko bhi, aankhoN mai utr aate haiN*
Raaz ki baat magr unko bataani hai ye
Meri palkoN pe sitaaroaN ko wo sajenyega
Dil e khushfehm ko ummeed jataani hai ye
Sard lehjo mai bhi tufaan utha sakta hai*
Ishq mai aankh se behta hua paani hai ye
Ishaq ki aag har ek dil mein laga jayega*
aesi barsaat ka jalta hua paani hai yeh
Wasl hai jheel se, kis darja ki khamoshi mai
Ishq ke jharney ka behta hua paani hai ye
Surkh, narangi, hara aur gulaabi sa bhi
Ishq ke rangoN se milta hua paani hai ye
Sard mausam mai bhi ye aag laga sakta hai
Aaye barsaat tou jalta hua paani hai ye
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arey waaaaah.. waaah.. sahi meN ek ek sher 1-1 lakh ka hai, Zainyji....
par sirf 3 hi sher bech paaoonga.. aur phir!...........................
kyuN na Nazneen se hi shuruaat kii jaaye?
Nazneen, kahaN kho gayee? Zainyji se a/c no leke 1 peti trf karlo.. aur mera 10% commission rahega
ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
Last edited by aadeil; 26th June 2014 at 12:42 PM..
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Aapki dost
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26th June 2014, 03:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad'
waahhhh zainy kahaan to ek sher nahi ban rahaa thaa kahaaan poorii ghazal likh ke baithii ho... kamaaal hai yaar..
wese ek baat bataaiye is ghazal ka matlaaa kahaan hai, hame nazar hi nhi aa raha, kya pata ho mujhe hi na dikh raha ho, ab umr bhii to itnee ho gayee hai.... uhhu uhhhuuu....
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Sahi kahaa...lagta hai sach me umar ho gayi hai...
.Uffffff....is ghazal ka matla to aapne likha tha na first post me......lol...
yeh bas ashaar hain...ek banane ki koshish me 8 ban gaye...lolzzz..
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
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Aapki dost
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 57
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26th June 2014, 03:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil
arey waaaaah.. waaah.. sahi meN ek ek sher 1-1 lakh ka hai, Zainyji....
par sirf 3 hi sher bech paaoonga.. aur phir!...........................
kyuN na Nazneen se hi shuruaat kii jaaye?
Nazneen, kahaN kho gayee? Zainyji se a/c no leke 1 peti trf karlo.. aur mera 10% commission rahega
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Chaliye 3 hi sahi....ac/no bhijwa dungi..jamaa kara dijiyega...
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
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Registered User
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Posts: 1,646
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mumbai, India
Rep Power: 22
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26th June 2014, 03:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy
Sahi kahaa...lagta hai sach me umar ho gayi hai...
.Uffffff....is ghazal ka matla to aapne likha tha na first post me......lol...
yeh bas ashaar hain...ek banane ki koshish me 8 ban gaye...lolzzz..
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ufffff.... paani, paani, paani, paani, paani... lagtaa hai, sher banaate banaate 5 glass paani pii gayeeN aap LOLzzz.. samjhe kyuN sirf 3 sher bikenge yahaan?
ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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Aapki dost
Offline
Posts: 7,325
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 57
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26th June 2014, 03:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil
ufffff.... paani, paani, paani, paani, paani... lagtaa hai, sher banaate banaate 5 glass paani pii gayeeN aap LOLzzz.. samjhe kyuN sirf 3 sher bikenge yahaan?
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jee samajh gayi thi..............................
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
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Registered User
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Posts: 1,722
Join Date: Dec 2010
Rep Power: 37
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28th June 2014, 11:53 PM
wwwaaahhhh zainy ji bahaut khoobsurat sher kahe haiN aapne !!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy
Hahaha ..jee zaroor aadil sahab. ..ab inhi bikwaane ki zimmedaari aapki...ek ek sher ka ek lakh se kam nahi lungi..lol
Khaab ab din ko bhi, aankhoN mai utr aate haiN*
Raaz ki baat magr unko bataani hai ye
Meri palkoN pe sitaaroaN ko wo sajenyega
Dil e khushfehm ko ummeed jataani hai ye
Sard lehjo mai bhi tufaan utha sakta hai*
Ishq mai aankh se behta hua paani hai ye
Ishaq ki aag har ek dil mein laga jayega*
aesi barsaat ka jalta hua paani hai yeh
Wasl hai jheel se, kis darja ki khamoshi mai
Ishq ke jharney ka behta hua paani hai ye
Surkh, narangi, hara aur gulaabi sa bhi
Ishq ke rangoN se milta hua paani hai ye
Sard mausam mai bhi ye aag laga sakta hai
Aaye barsaat tou jalta hua paani hai ye
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maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
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Aapki dost
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 57
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29th June 2014, 12:10 AM
Shukriyah Zarra sahab!...................
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
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Registered User
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1st July 2014, 09:18 AM
Shaad sahab ke matle wali ghazal ka silsila kal khatm hua.
15 july ke din SDC GHAZAL -1 , post hogi.
------------------------------------------------------------
Nayi ghazal ke silsile ka aaghaaz karte hai ab.
Ab zainy sahiba se request hai ke vo matla bana kar den sabko.
zainyji - please shuru kijiye...aapke matla diye bina ye thread shuru nahi ho sakta.
ye silsila khatm hoga 15 july 2014 ke din.
regards
Last edited by zidd; 1st July 2014 at 09:21 AM..
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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1st July 2014, 11:08 AM
Zidd saahab i think before moving ahead with new matlaa and new ghazal, lets consolidate the shers submitted for this ghazal...
I have collected these as per my understanding, agar kuch fer badal karnaa hai to members please inform us... agar kuch chhoot gaya hai ho to please let me know.
Mirii AaGhaaze muhabbat ki kahaanii hai ye,
kisii gulposh haseenaa ki nishaanii hai ye..... (shaad)
roz karte ho mohabbat meiN jo marne ki ye baat
ya mohabbat hai puraanii ya jawaanii hai ye.... (zarraa)
hai chaman unse hi roshan hai ye mehfil bhii jawaaN,
hai karishma ki adaa unki suhaani hai ye........ (aadeil)
Mai bhi ashiq ,nahi hone ka, bharam rakh lunga
Tum bhi kah dena ke afwaah puraani hai ye ....... (zidd)
Le rahiin hain imtehaan ye shabaab ye shokhiiyaan
Unki qurbat se tishnagii ab mitaanii hai ye......... (naaz)
Har ik gul kee tarha khiltee nahee ujaalaon mayn,
Karay mad-hosh ye shab, raat kee raani hai ye!... (Ahmad hyderabadi)
Ishq ki raah meiN wo tod ke taare laaye
Dil e khushfehm ko ummeed jataani hai yeH... (zainy)
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