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ab mareej par gangajal pade
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zidd
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ab mareej par gangajal pade - 2nd July 2009, 01:17 PM

doston....
ahle bazm ko mera adaab....
ek nayi koshish peshe khidmat hai......
beher ke dayre me likne ki koshish hai( jitna mai samajha hu)
aisa mujhe lagta hai ki beher ki wajah se ehsaas ka sharpness kum ho raha hai....magar yeh bhi kab tak....shayad kabhi is daur se gujar jaunga....

milna tha mujse so mere aasu nikal pade
ik aap hai ke aap ke maathe pe bal pade

sason me tapish aap ki hai aaj bi janab
ik hoshmand kya hai diwana uchal pade

gar aap ki nigaah bi pad jaye ek baar
insaan kya farishtey ka dum nikal pade

ho gaya hai marje ishq abto lailaz
pade ab kuch mareej par to gangajal pade

izhare muhabbat hai faqat gul ki shakl me
kuch aur to kaha nahin phir kyun dahal pade


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kwahish
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2nd July 2009, 02:55 PM

Wah Khanna sahaB......

Bahut khoob koshish lagi aapki...... sabhi sher achche lage
aur sahi lage...........

Likhate rahiye khush rahiye..

Khuda hafez..


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zidd
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2nd July 2009, 03:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kwahish View Post
Wah Khanna sahaB......

Bahut khoob koshish lagi aapki...... sabhi sher achche lage
aur sahi lage...........

Likhate rahiye khush rahiye..

Khuda hafez..
khwahish sahab...aadab.

apke hausla afzai ke liye teh e dil se apka shukriya...
aise hi gaur karte rahiye...accha to accha ....badmaza to badmaza...
jab to pata chalega ki kuch tarakki kar rahe hai ya nahi?
hame pehle seekne hai..phir dikane ke liye to umr abhi baki hai.....
ek bar phir mera shukriya kabool kijiye
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Mujeeb
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10th July 2009, 01:30 PM

Aadaab !

baRe miyaaN kaise haiN ? aik dafa phir Haazir huwa hoN kuch a'rZ kerne .

dostoN aur dosto do mukhtalif alfaaz haiN , donoN hi dost ki jamma' haiN , ise istemaal kerne meN bus thoRa sa farQ hai aur akCer dost aHbaab jinhaiN urdu zubaan se waaQifiyat bahut kam hai ise istemaal kerne meN thoRI si ghalti ker jaate haiN

ager app dostoN se mukhaatib ho rahe haiN to lafz dosto istemaal kiyaa jaaeyga .............

maClan : suniye dosto ! , mere azeez dosto , yaad rahe dosto ,waghera waghera

aur ager app dostoN ke baare meN baat ker rahe haiN to lafz dostoN istemaal kerieNge

maClan : dostoN ne kaha , dostoN ki meHfil , dostoN ka saath , waghera waghera

umeed hai app ko meri yeh baat smajh aa gaii hogi .

Quote:
Originally Posted by chocboy View Post
doston.... Dosto ....!

milna tha mujse so mere aasu nikal pade
ik aap hai ke aap ke maathe pe bal pade


yahaN mere Hisaab se thoRa si wizaHat darkaar hai , aik to milna kiya tha yeh nahieN maalom keh andaaza lagaya jaa sake keh ansoo kiyoN nikle , dosra "SO" yeh mujhe to angrezi zuban ka lafz lagta hai jiska matlab hota hai "isliye" but app ki thoRi sii tawjuh she'r ko nikhaar sakti hai , itna koshish keh aik aam fehm appki ghazal ko peRhe aur bus peRhta hi rahe




Quote:
Originally Posted by chocboy View Post
sason me tapish aap ki hai aaj bi janab
ik hoshmand kya hai diwana uchal pade


yahaN app ka aHsaas dil choo laine waala hai , mager miCra' caani meN app shayad jo kehna chahte the usse ulaT ker gaey , aisa mujhe lag raha hai zaroori nahieN hai keh mujhe saHeeH lag raha hoN .

zara ghaur fermaaieN , uchlna woh rad-e-amal (reaction) hai jab koi hosh khushi se apne hosh kho day .

ager app aisa kahieN keh "diwaana kiyaa hai hoshmand uchal paRe "tab app ki baat seedhi ho gi , dobaara kehna chahta hoN keh app ka meri baat se ittefaaq kerna qati zaroori naheiN hai



Quote:
Originally Posted by chocboy View Post
gar aap ki nigaah bi pad jaye ek baar
insaan kya farishtey ka dum nikal pade


acha laga


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ABABBU
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10th July 2009, 02:29 PM


gar aap ki nigaah bi pad jaye ek baar
insaan kya farishtey ka dum nikal pade

ho gaya hai marje ishq abto lailaz
pade ab kuch mareej par to gangajal pade

realy gr8 .......
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zidd
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zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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11th July 2009, 03:05 PM

mujeeb sahab.......aadab.......

apke guidanace ke liye bahut shukriya.......agee bi aisi rahnumai ki umeed rahta hu apse.........
uu hi aap thoda apna waqt nikal kar guide karte rahiye........dheere dheere hum bhi shayad LIKHNE lagenge...........

Dilli,meerut taraf ke naye /purane shairon ne ABKE word bahut use kiya hai...jo typical waha ki jabaan ki aam adaygi hai............hamare banaras/illahabad/lucknow side me SO( MEANING ISLIYE) word kafi use hota hai.....kya ye apke khayal me ghalat hai........
hamare jalandhar/hoshiarpur/ludhiana side me RABBA use karna common hai..jo aur koi nahin karta...............deccan(south) ki urda shayri bhi ik alag samaj aajati hai.....uski likhawat se(usage of typical words again)

meherbani roshni dale is baat par.......

mere likhe ke thode parts apko acche lage iske liye aaj mai bahut garv mahsoos kar raha hu........
apka bahut shukriya

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zidd
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11th July 2009, 03:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ABABBU View Post

gar aap ki nigaah bi pad jaye ek baar
insaan kya farishtey ka dum nikal pade

ho gaya hai marje ishq abto lailaz
pade ab kuch mareej par to gangajal pade

realy gr8 .......
ABABBU JI........AADAB

apki hausla afzai ke liye aapka teh e dil se shukriya.....
umeed rakhta hu agee bhi aisi rahnumai naseeb ho

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Aadaab!!!
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vikramjethi
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Smile Aadaab!!! - 17th October 2009, 03:20 PM

Zidd bhai,
Maine aapki ye creation padhi aur mujhe yeh bahut pasand aayee.
Namaloom, aapne kyon likha ki shayad iska vazan kam maloom pade, mujhe to yeh behad pasand aayee.
Mere khayal se hmari kalam se nikle ashaar hmara kirdaar bayan kar jaate hain aur hmaare andar ki khoobsoorti, badgumaani, badsoorti etc.. ko bata jaate hain.
Aap mein androoni aur roohani khoobsoorti hai, isse sada barkaraar rakhiyega........
Aapke alfaazon' se aapke andar ki ''hairaan ho jaane'' wali tabiyat ka ilm hota hai, iska matlab hai ki shayad aap un un baaton ko samajh lete honge jinpe aur log shayad sochte bhi nahi.


sason me tapish aap ki hai aaj bi janab
ik hoshmand kya hai diwana uchal pade


muaf kijiyega meri gustaakhi, aap ki hi lines ek baar dubaara likh raha hu, sirf ek shabad hata ke:-

sason me tapish aap ki hai aaj bi janab
ik hoshmand kya diwana uchal pade...


Aap batana zaroor......

gar aap ki nigaah bi pad jaye ek baar
insaan kya farishtey ka dum nikal pade


Khoob....

ho gaya hai marje ishq abto lailaz
pade ab kuch mareej par to gangajal pade


Sirf ek hi cheez akhr rahi hai, aur bahut hadd tak ye mumkin hai ki main galat hu.....Gustaakhi muaf......

ho gaya hai marze ishq abto lailaj
pade ab kuch mareez par to gangajal pade


izhare muhabbat hai faqat gul ki shakl me
kuch aur to kaha nahin phir kyun dahal pade


Yahan "dahal" pade ka istemaal jo aapne kiya hai, vo taareef ke kabil hai, bahut khoob maza aa gaya....[/QUOTE]

Regards,
Vikram Jethi


'E Taahire Laahuti!!!
Uss Rizk Se Tau Maut Bhali
Jis Rizk Se Aatee Ho
Tere Parwaaz MeiN Kotaahi....



vikramjethi@gmail.com
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naresh_mehra110
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18th October 2009, 01:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
regards
Zidd ji....bahut arse baad...aapki yeh ghazal nazar mai aai....har sher lajawaab bana hai...acha laga padhkar.....kuch sher toh bahut khaas lage...

gar aap ki nigaah bi pad jaye ek baar
insaan kya farishtey ka dum nikal pade

ho gaya hai marje ishq abto lailaz
pade ab kuch mareej par to gangajal pade

dil se daad...kabul kijiye....

duaaon ke saath....




YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...

Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...


---Naresh Mehra----
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m.mayoos
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18th October 2009, 05:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
doston....
ahle bazm ko mera adaab....
ek nayi koshish peshe khidmat hai......
beher ke dayre me likne ki koshish hai( jitna mai samajha hu)
aisa mujhe lagta hai ki beher ki wajah se ehsaas ka sharpness kum ho raha hai....magar yeh bhi kab tak....shayad kabhi is daur se gujar jaunga....

milna tha mujse so mere aasu nikal pade
ik aap hai ke aap ke maathe pe bal pade

sason me tapish aap ki hai aaj bi janab
ik hoshmand kya hai diwana uchal pade

gar aap ki nigaah bi pad jaye ek baar
insaan kya farishtey ka dum nikal pade

ho gaya hai marje ishq abto lailaz
pade ab kuch mareej par to gangajal pade

izhare muhabbat hai faqat gul ki shakl me
kuch aur to kaha nahin phir kyun dahal pade


regards
tumne bhi yahaan achchi khaasi ghazal chipkaa di. in galiyon men to aaanaa jaanaa hi nahin hota, so ye dikhaayee hi nahin dee.

yeh kaafi achchaa hai

ho gaya hai marje ishq abto lailaz
pade ab kuch mareej par to gangajal pade


ता उम्र रहा इक रोज़-ए -मुकम्मल का इंतज़ार
किसी में शाम न मिली तो किसी में सहर नहीं
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asdfgh
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18th October 2009, 08:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post




"Dilli,meerut taraf ke naye /purane shairon ne" ABKE word bahut use kiya hai...jo typical waha ki jabaan ki aam adaygi hai............"'hamare' banaras/illahabad/lucknow" side me SO( MEANING ISLIYE) word kafi use hota hai.....kya ye apke khayal me ghalat hai........
"'hamare' jalandhar/hoshiarpur/ludhiana" side me RABBA use karna common hai..jo aur koi nahin karta...........






regards
janaab sabse pehle to aapke kalam k liye dil se daad kubool farmaaiye
bahut he achha likha hai aapne...
Mai kuch kehna chahta tha 'hoshmand aur diwana' wali line par..
Par wo mujeeb ji ne keh diya...

Btw is message me aapne ... Lucknow,ilahabaad,banaras,ludhiana,hoshiarpur aur
jalandhar k liye aapne 'hamare' shabd ka prayog kiya aur dilli meerut ko begana bana diya... kripya is baat pe thoda prakash daalenge ?? aapse pehli baar mukhatib ho raha hu aur pehli baar me he aapse kuch poochne k liye muaafi chahta hu ...
   
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zidd
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zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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30th May 2010, 08:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by vikramjethi View Post
Zidd bhai,
Maine aapki ye creation padhi aur mujhe yeh bahut pasand aayee.
Namaloom, aapne kyon likha ki shayad iska vazan kam maloom pade, mujhe to yeh behad pasand aayee.
Mere khayal se hmari kalam se nikle ashaar hmara kirdaar bayan kar jaate hain aur hmaare andar ki khoobsoorti, badgumaani, badsoorti etc.. ko bata jaate hain.
Aap mein androoni aur roohani khoobsoorti hai, isse sada barkaraar rakhiyega........
Aapke alfaazon' se aapke andar ki ''hairaan ho jaane'' wali tabiyat ka ilm hota hai, iska matlab hai ki shayad aap un un baaton ko samajh lete honge jinpe aur log shayad sochte bhi nahi.


sason me tapish aap ki hai aaj bi janab
ik hoshmand kya hai diwana uchal pade


muaf kijiyega meri gustaakhi, aap ki hi lines ek baar dubaara likh raha hu, sirf ek shabad hata ke:-

sason me tapish aap ki hai aaj bi janab
ik hoshmand kya diwana uchal pade...


yaha 'hai' nikaalne se flow ruk jayega.....
meter poora nahi hoga
ap is line ko tarannum me gaa kar dekhiye zaraa
'pahle to apne dil ki raza jaan jaiye'( jagjit singh)

Aap batana zaroor......

gar aap ki nigaah bi pad jaye ek baar
insaan kya farishtey ka dum nikal pade


Khoob....

ho gaya hai marje ishq abto lailaz
pade ab kuch mareej par to gangajal pade


Sirf ek hi cheez akhr rahi hai, aur bahut hadd tak ye mumkin hai ki main galat hu.....Gustaakhi muaf......

ho gaya hai marze ishq abto lailaj
pade ab kuch mareez par to gangajal pade


ji apki baat sahi hai....us samay roman editor ki jaankaari kam thi....mann me 'za' pad raha tha lekin lekin likha'ja'
iska meter zara gadbad hai....magar ab kya kare

izhare muhabbat hai faqat gul ki shakl me
kuch aur to kaha nahin phir kyun dahal pade


Yahan "dahal" pade ka istemaal jo aapne kiya hai, vo taareef ke kabil hai, bahut khoob maza aa gaya....
mere ab tak ke saare likhe me se ye fav sher hai
gar koi samjhe to magar

Regards,
Vikram Jethi
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