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Maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai.
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Fathomless
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Maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai. - 2nd April 2009, 05:19 PM

Dear Friends,

I don't know anything about poetry, mujhe to iska sir per bhi nai pata, lekin kal kisi ne meri bahot help ki thi...... mujhe meri friend Parneeta ne guide kiya tha kal..... usi base par maine ye likha hai.........i know ki galtiya bahot hongi...... lekin jhoothi tareef mat karna koi bhi samjhe..........

Waise Nazu ne bhi meri help ki hai............. i hope main jaldi seekh jaoonga......




Maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai…….


Haan maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai,
Kisi ne apne dil mein mujhe aasra diya hai,

Aagosh mein main bhi hoon kisi ke,
Haan maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai,

Aanchal mein choopa hoon main bhi kisi ke,
Awaaro.n ki tarah maine pyar kiya hai,

Aahista se sama gaya woh dil mein,
Be.intihaan maine bhi use pyar kiya hai,

Ada ka har ek uski main diwana hoon,
Khuda ki ibadat ki tarah maine pyar kiya hai,

Mere har asraar se woh wakif hai,
Uske har-ek ashq se maine pyar kiya hai,

woh anjuman mein hai mere pyar ki
apne awwal se badhkar maine use pyar kiya hai……….. !


Shan
(02.04.2009)


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Mujeeb
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2nd April 2009, 06:31 PM

Aadaab !

azeez dost app ki pehli koshish dekh ker dili khushi huwi ... jaisa keh app ne likha keh is meN bahut saari ghaltiyaN hoNgi , meN is baat se ittefaaq nahi kerta kiyoN ke app nau aamooz shayar haiN is liye meN smajhta hoN yeh naadaani hai laa elmi hai is liye ise khata nahi kaha jaa sakta ,


pehli koshish per meri jaanib se dili mubarak baad aur daad qabool fermaaieN

paivasta reh shajar se umeed bahar rakh


likhte rahieN

Mujeeb


kuch kahoN to sharm saar hoN
chup rahoN to guneh gaar hoN

Last edited by Mujeeb; 2nd April 2009 at 06:39 PM..
   
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Fathomless
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2nd April 2009, 06:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mujeeb View Post
Aadaab !

azeez dost app ki pehli koshish dekh ker dili khushi huwi ... jaisa keh app ne likha keh is meN bahut saari ghaltiyaN hoNgi , meN is baat se ittefaaq nahi kerta kiyoN ke app nau aamooz shayar haiN is liye meN smajhta hoN yeh naadaani hai laa elmi hai is liye ise khata nahi kaha jaa sakta ,


pehli koshish per meri jaanib se dili mubarak baad aur daad qabool fermaaieN

paivasta reh shajar se umeed bahar rakh


likhte rahieN

Mujeeb

Bahot achca laga aapka reply dekhkar

aap pehle to mujhe "paivasta reh shajar se umeed bahar rakh" is line ka meaning bataiye

aur aapne apna reply kyun edit kiya ?


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Smile 2nd April 2009, 07:16 PM

congrates SHAAN.....tumhari ye koshish kaafi hadd tak kamiyaab rahi... thanx to PARI and NAAZ...arey yaar tum itne bhi duffer nahi ho jitna mai sochti thi...bahut khoob dear....tumhare ehsaas bahut pyaare hai...keep it up
oye.....ye to batao ke itna kis se pyaar kiya hai yaar??


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2nd April 2009, 07:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fathomless View Post
Bahot achca laga aapka reply dekhkar

aap pehle to mujhe "paivasta reh shajar se umeed bahar rakh" is line ka meaning bataiye

aur aapne apna reply kyun edit kiya ?

" paivasta reh shajar se umeed bahar rakh " meHfil se juRe rahieN aur seekhne ki tamma bhi rakhieN .... yeh matlab hai iska


mere us jawab se shayad app dil bardashta ho jaate is liye maiN ne use doobara Theek kiyaa takeh app ko aur meHfil meN peRhne waale kisi dost ko kuch buraa na lage


kuch kahoN to sharm saar hoN
chup rahoN to guneh gaar hoN
   
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Ek Ehsaas
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2nd April 2009, 07:18 PM

Hi Shaan Bhai...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fathomless View Post
Maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai.
Bahut hi achha title aur behad lubhavani shuruat.. Is baat ko dhyan mein rakhte hue ki ye
aapki pehli koshish hai, main bata bhi nahin sakta ki ye mujhe khoobsurat lagi...
Bahut hi achhi aur bahut hi dilkash rachna aur usse bhi pyare "Ehsaas"

Bas 2 lines shero.n mein apna sujaav dena chahunga

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fathomless View Post
Aanchal mein choopa hoon main bhi kisi ke,
Awaaro.n ki tarah maine pyar kiya hai,
Aapne pehli line mein kaha, Aanchal mein choopa hoon toh bas itna hi kahunga ki chipe hue insaan ko aawara kehna sahi nahin lagta..
Yahi line ho sakti thi:

Deewano sa bhatka hoon main bhi kisi ki khatir,
Awaaro.n ki tarah maine pyar kiya hai,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fathomless View Post
woh anjuman mein hai mere pyar ki
apne awwal se badhkar maine use pyar kiya hai.. !
Anjuman Mehfil ko kehte hain. "Woh mehfil mein hai mere pyar ki"... Samajh nahin aaya....

But know what, u have all the ingredients of a wonderful poet. Just keep up the gr8 work.. And keep writing and keep posting....


Regards,


Who Cares.....
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Fathomless
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2nd April 2009, 08:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Widhani View Post
Hi Shaan Bhai...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Widhani View Post



Bahut hi achha title aur behad lubhavani shuruat.. Is baat ko dhyan mein rakhte hue ki ye
aapki pehli koshish hai, main bata bhi nahin sakta ki ye mujhe khoobsurat lagi...
Bahut hi achhi aur bahut hi dilkash rachna aur usse bhi pyare "Ehsaas"

Bas 2 lines shero.n mein apna sujaav dena chahunga



Aapne pehli line mein kaha, Aanchal mein choopa hoon toh bas itna hi kahunga ki chipe hue insaan ko aawara kehna sahi nahin lagta..
Yahi line ho sakti thi:

Deewano sa bhatka hoon main bhi kisi ki khatir,
Awaaro.n ki tarah maine pyar kiya hai,



hhm........thanks
lekin yahan par awaara se mera matlab diwangi mein jo pagalpan aur awarapan hota hai usse tha.......... kher aage se dhyan rakhoonga........



Quote:
Anjuman Mehfil ko kehte hain. "Woh mehfil mein hai mere pyar ki"... Samajh nahin aaya....

But know what, u have all the ingredients of a wonderful poet. Just keep up the gr8 work.. And keep writing and keep posting....


Regards,



anjuman........ yani mehfil
woh isliye ki maine apne dil mein jo mehfil sajai hai uske pyar ki ......... mera matlab usse tha.....

shayad ye thik nai ho.......

lekin thanks a trillion ton for your time and suggestions..


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Fathomless
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2nd April 2009, 08:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mujeeb View Post
" paivasta reh shajar se umeed bahar rakh " meHfil se juRe rahieN aur seekhne ki tamma bhi rakhieN .... yeh matlab hai iska


mere us jawab se shayad app dil bardashta ho jaate is liye maiN ne use doobara Theek kiyaa takeh app ko aur meHfil meN peRhne waale kisi dost ko kuch buraa na lage
array isme bura maanne wali kya baat hai bhai...........

don't worry main itna jaldi bura nai maanta.......


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Fathomless
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2nd April 2009, 08:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LAMHA View Post
congrates SHAAN.....tumhari ye koshish kaafi hadd tak kamiyaab rahi... thanx to PARI and NAAZ...arey yaar tum itne bhi duffer nahi ho jitna mai sochti thi...bahut khoob dear....tumhare ehsaas bahut pyaare hai...keep it up
oye.....ye to batao ke itna kis se pyaar kiya hai yaar??

sahi kahan tumne........ main tumhari tarah duffer bilkul nai hoon.


Quote:
oye.....ye to batao ke itna kis se pyaar kiya hai yaar??

its a top SECRET


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3rd April 2009, 12:27 PM

Quote:
Waise Nazu ne bhi meri help ki hai............. i hope main jaldi seekh jaoonga......
Shaan sweetie sabse pehli baat, ye khoobsurat ghazal tumne khud likhi hai bina meri maddat k maine to sirf pasand kia tha so all credit goes to u

Quote:
Maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai.

EXCELLENT TITLE...........


Quote:
Haan maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai,
Kisi ne apne dil mein mujhe aasra diya hai,

Aagosh mein main bhi hoon kisi ke,
Haan maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai,

Aanchal mein choopa hoon main bhi kisi ke,
Awaaro.n ki tarah maine pyar kiya hai,

Aahista se sama gaya woh dil mein,
Be.intihaan maine bhi use pyar kiya hai,

Ada ka har ek uski main diwana hoon,
Khuda ki ibadat ki tarah maine pyar kiya hai,

Mere har asraar se woh wakif hai,
Uske har-ek ashq se maine pyar kiya hai,

woh anjuman mein hai mere pyar ki
apne awwal se badhkar maine use pyar kiya hai.. !
My dearest tumhare ehsaas bht saaf aur khoobsurat hai..........ghazal ki taraf tumhari ye pehli koshish lajawaab hai.........mai bhi jo thoda bht likh leti hun to wo bhi sirf sdc ki wajahse.......aur mujhe ummeed hai sdc k behad umda shayaro.N ki rai ki maddat se tum bhi ek din behad umda ghazal likhoge........KEEP IT UP
   
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Fathomless
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3rd April 2009, 01:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Shaan sweetie sabse pehli baat, ye khoobsurat ghazal tumne khud likhi hai bina meri maddat k maine to sirf pasand kia tha so all credit goes to u
Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post



EXCELLENT TITLE...........

thanks Dearest..........!



Quote:
My dearest tumhare ehsaas bht saaf aur khoobsurat hai..........ghazal ki taraf tumhari ye pehli koshish lajawaab hai.........mai bhi jo thoda bht likh leti hun to wo bhi sirf sdc ki wajahse.......aur mujhe ummeed hai sdc k behad umda shayaro.N ki rai ki maddat se tum bhi ek din behad umda ghazal likhoge........KEEP IT UP



Well............. ab main kya kahoon


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Praneeta
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Love 3rd April 2009, 02:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fathomless View Post
Dear Friends,

I don't know anything about poetry, mujhe to iska sir per bhi nai pata, lekin kal kisi ne meri bahot help ki thi...... mujhe meri friend Parneeta ne guide kiya tha kal..... usi base par maine ye likha hai.........i know ki galtiya bahot hongi...... lekin jhoothi tareef mat karna koi bhi samjhe..........

Waise Nazu ne bhi meri help ki hai............. i hope main jaldi seekh jaoonga......




Maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai.


Haan maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai,
Kisi ne apne dil mein mujhe aasra diya hai,

Aagosh mein main bhi hoon kisi ke,
Haan maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai,

Aanchal mein choopa hoon main bhi kisi ke,
Awaaro.n ki tarah maine pyar kiya hai,

Aahista se sama gaya woh dil mein,
Be.intihaan maine bhi use pyar kiya hai,

Ada ka har ek uski main diwana hoon,
Khuda ki ibadat ki tarah maine pyar kiya hai,

Mere har asraar se woh wakif hai,
Uske har-ek ashq se maine pyar kiya hai,

woh anjuman mein hai mere pyar ki
apne awwal se badhkar maine use pyar kiya hai.. !


Shan
(02.04.2009)

wo wo wo....aap kahete ho maine maddat ki hai, main kaheti hun mujhe aap ki iss ghazal se big time inspiration mili hai...honestly bahot hi pyara likha hai. mindblowing!!!!!!
sach kahu toh meri paheli ghazal aap ke iss ghazal ke aas paas bhi nahi aa sakti...i was pathetic. then zainy gave me the link of that guide which i forwarded u.........so thnx 2 zainy warna main aaj bhi bahot buri likhti aur aap shayad mere post par comment bhi nahi karte.
rahi aap ki thread mein galtiyon ki, toh aap mera pahela post na pade warna uss mein aap ko sirf galtiyan hi dikhengi
waqt ke saath aap sab par havi ho jaoge par ab bhi kuch kam asardaar nahi ho.
truly lovely emotions.
mujhe toh sirf tute dil par likhna aata hai.bahot try kiya pyar par likhu par nakamyaab rahi hun aaj tak.
aap yuhi hi likhte rahe.... my best wishes n congrats 4 ur first ghazal n that 2 such a lovely 1
Regards
Praneeta


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3rd April 2009, 03:39 PM

Sabse khaas baat bas ek hai .. ki isme masoomiyat hai .. aisi pehle pyaar jaisi ..

jaise sab kuch accha hai .. sab kuch saaf hai

aise hi likhte raho

Kunaal


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Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi..
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Fathomless
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3rd April 2009, 03:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Praneeta View Post
wo wo wo....aap kahete ho maine maddat ki hai, main kaheti hun mujhe aap ki iss ghazal se big time inspiration mili hai...honestly bahot hi pyara likha hai. mindblowing!!!!!!
sach kahu toh meri paheli ghazal aap ke iss ghazal ke aas paas bhi nahi aa sakti...i was pathetic. then zainy gave me the link of that guide which i forwarded u.........so thnx 2 zainy warna main aaj bhi bahot buri likhti aur aap shayad mere post par comment bhi nahi karte.
rahi aap ki thread mein galtiyon ki, toh aap mera pahela post na pade warna uss mein aap ko sirf galtiyan hi dikhengi
waqt ke saath aap sab par havi ho jaoge par ab bhi kuch kam asardaar nahi ho.
truly lovely emotions.
mujhe toh sirf tute dil par likhna aata hai.bahot try kiya pyar par likhu par nakamyaab rahi hun aaj tak.
aap yuhi hi likhte rahe.... my best wishes n congrats 4 ur first ghazal n that 2 such a lovely 1
Regards
Praneeta
array Pari dear......... ab main kya boloon ............ thanks for everything


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nalinmehra
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7th April 2009, 07:53 AM

Shaan Bhai,
Dil se badahai sweekar kijiye.................. yaar pehli baar ke hisab se to bahut hi accha likha hia aapne, koshish jari rakhiye, aap bahut aage jaayenge.......................
aur me naaz aur praneeta ka bhi dil se shukriya ada karunga ki unhone ne ap jaise budding shayar ki help kari...........
bahut accha..............
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fathomless View Post
Dear Friends,

I don't know anything about poetry, mujhe to iska sir per bhi nai pata, lekin kal kisi ne meri bahot help ki thi...... mujhe meri friend Parneeta ne guide kiya tha kal..... usi base par maine ye likha hai.........i know ki galtiya bahot hongi...... lekin jhoothi tareef mat karna koi bhi samjhe..........

Waise Nazu ne bhi meri help ki hai............. i hope main jaldi seekh jaoonga......




Maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai.


Haan maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai,
Kisi ne apne dil mein mujhe aasra diya hai,

Aagosh mein main bhi hoon kisi ke,
Haan maine bhi kisi se pyar kiya hai,

Aanchal mein choopa hoon main bhi kisi ke,
Awaaro.n ki tarah maine pyar kiya hai,

Aahista se sama gaya woh dil mein,
Be.intihaan maine bhi use pyar kiya hai,

Ada ka har ek uski main diwana hoon,
Khuda ki ibadat ki tarah maine pyar kiya hai,

Mere har asraar se woh wakif hai,
Uske har-ek ashq se maine pyar kiya hai,

woh anjuman mein hai mere pyar ki
apne awwal se badhkar maine use pyar kiya hai.. !


Shan
(02.04.2009)



Nalin

Uski Har "Uff" pe hum apni jaan lutate rahe,
Uski Shaqsiyat ko karke buland hum khudko mitate rahe,
Raahe-e-mohobbat me hamne kuch yun paya sila wafa ka,
woh dete rahe zakhm pe zakhm aur ham muskurate rahe




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Fathomless
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7th April 2009, 02:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by nalinmehra View Post
Shaan Bhai,
Dil se badahai sweekar kijiye.................. yaar pehli baar ke hisab se to bahut hi accha likha hia aapne, koshish jari rakhiye, aap bahut aage jaayenge.......................
aur me naaz aur praneeta ka bhi dil se shukriya ada karunga ki unhone ne ap jaise budding shayar ki help kari...........
bahut accha..............
Thanks a billion ton bro............


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sunita thakur
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7th April 2009, 03:09 PM

Dear Shaan..........masoom se ahsaas dil ko chu gaye, bilkul vaise ahsaas jab kali khilne wali hoti hai aur uski pankhudiyaN dheere dheere khul rahi hoti haiN, vaise hi laga mujhe tumhari yeh poetry padkar. pheli koshish hai bahut badiya hai....haaN agar kahiN kabhi hamari jaroorat mahsoos ho to jaroor kahiyega,,,hum hazir hai aapki kidmat meiN. Shaan jab koi pheli baar likhta hai to aisa hi likhta hai koi bhi shuru se hi accha shayar nahi ban jata, ek sujao dena chauNgi tumhe ki acche shayro.N (Maikash jii, Kasak jii, Mayank jii, Manu jii, Paras jiii aur b bahut haiN) ko padiyega, aapko bahut kuch seekhne ki milega es sabki poetry se

likhtey rahiyega, ab kalam ko rukne mat dena...tumhari masoom si koshish par reps +++

pyar aur duao.n ke saath
tumhari diii


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...


   
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janumanu
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7th April 2009, 06:22 PM

Shan bhayee ...

bahut acha laga padh ke yaar .....

bas likhne se pahle ... likhne ka maksad .. aur kuch kayde bana lena ,,

likhne se pahle ... soch ka dyara banao ... what u want to write what about ......

dayra banao nahi kahunga .. dayra badhao ....... kahna chahunga ,,,,....

har cheez pe likho .... aas pas yaha baha ... jiyo poetry ko ....

aur achey poet ko padho .....

aur unke likhne ke tareeko ko samjho ....

unka style ..... baat kahne ka andaaz ....

padhne se kahi jayda asardaar hai .. suno ... it increse creativity ... thinking power ....
sab badh jati ha

bashir badr shahab .. rahat indori shahab .... nida fazli ....
evryone has his own quality ..

wording poewer ke liye gulzar sahab ko padhna ya sunna

shadkosh badhao ... aur hindi vyakarn (hindi grammar ) urdu word .. har cheez ........

sabse badi baat man saf rakho .... dil khalo ka kaarkhana hai ........ machine hai ye jitni behtar hogi . khyaal aur byaan utna hi behtar hoga

apne aap likhoge .



mai bhi aise hi seekhta hun ..... aur seekh raha hun ... ab shayed bahut kam ho gaya hai .. par fir se try kar raha hun .. ki acha seekh saku

tum bhi kuch aisi hi baten share karna jisse mai seekh saku


this is what i want to say

ragards:

Janumanu
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Fathomless
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8th April 2009, 06:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunita virender View Post
Dear Shaan..........masoom se ahsaas dil ko chu gaye, bilkul vaise ahsaas jab kali khilne wali hoti hai aur uski pankhudiyaN dheere dheere khul rahi hoti haiN, vaise hi laga mujhe tumhari yeh poetry padkar. pheli koshish hai bahut badiya hai....haaN agar kahiN kabhi hamari jaroorat mahsoos ho to jaroor kahiyega,,,hum hazir hai aapki kidmat meiN. Shaan jab koi pheli baar likhta hai to aisa hi likhta hai koi bhi shuru se hi accha shayar nahi ban jata, ek sujao dena chauNgi tumhe ki acche shayro.N (Maikash jii, Kasak jii, Mayank jii, Manu jii, Paras jiii aur b bahut haiN) ko padiyega, aapko bahut kuch seekhne ki milega es sabki poetry se

likhtey rahiyega, ab kalam ko rukne mat dena...tumhari masoom si koshish par reps +++

pyar aur duao.n ke saath
tumhari diii

M glad to see your reply Dee .................. thanks a ton for your time and suggestions


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8th April 2009, 06:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by janumanu View Post
Shan bhayee ...

bahut acha laga padh ke yaar .....

bas likhne se pahle ... likhne ka maksad .. aur kuch kayde bana lena ,,

likhne se pahle ... soch ka dyara banao ... what u want to write what about ......

dayra banao nahi kahunga .. dayra badhao ....... kahna chahunga ,,,,....

har cheez pe likho .... aas pas yaha baha ... jiyo poetry ko ....

aur achey poet ko padho .....

aur unke likhne ke tareeko ko samjho ....

unka style ..... baat kahne ka andaaz ....

padhne se kahi jayda asardaar hai .. suno ... it increse creativity ... thinking power ....
sab badh jati ha

bashir badr shahab .. rahat indori shahab .... nida fazli ....
evryone has his own quality ..

wording poewer ke liye gulzar sahab ko padhna ya sunna

shadkosh badhao ... aur hindi vyakarn (hindi grammar ) urdu word .. har cheez ........

sabse badi baat man saf rakho .... dil khalo ka kaarkhana hai ........ machine hai ye jitni behtar hogi . khyaal aur byaan utna hi behtar hoga

apne aap likhoge .



mai bhi aise hi seekhta hun ..... aur seekh raha hun ... ab shayed bahut kam ho gaya hai .. par fir se try kar raha hun .. ki acha seekh saku

tum bhi kuch aisi hi baten share karna jisse mai seekh saku


this is what i want to say

ragards:

Janumanu

Well brother maine aapki ek ek baat dhyan se padhi hai

aur main aapko vishwaas dilata hoon ki main in par aml zaroor karoonga...........

thanks


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