Shayri.com  

Go Back   Shayri.com > Shayri > Shayri-e-Dard

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
ek ghajal likhne ki koshish mein!!!!!!!
Old
  (#1)
ranju bhatia
Registered User
ranju bhatia is a jewel in the roughranju bhatia is a jewel in the roughranju bhatia is a jewel in the rough
 
Offline
Posts: 544
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 21
ek ghajal likhne ki koshish mein!!!!!!! - 21st July 2006, 12:46 PM

ek ghazal likhne ki koshish mein jo lafaz hamse likha gaya
woh unka hi naam thaa jo baar baar likha gaya

maangate rahe mere sukhe lab unse ek panaha pyaar ki
woh saaya sa ban ke hamaare pass se gujar gaya

hamne chaha ki aaj chupke se chum le hum chaand ki palko ko
per subeh hote hi woh mera khawab tute aaiene sa tut gaya

ruke they hum unki aankho ke samander mein dubane ke liye
woh ek laher si ban ke mere pass se bas gujar gaya

na jaane kitne zakham khaaye hamne unki mohabbat mein
har baar woh naye zakham de kar aur dard de ke chala gaya

apni haato ki lakreero mein hamne na paaya thaa naam unka
unko paane ke liye mera vajood apni taqdeer tak se lad gaya


ranjana
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#2)
akelijaan
Mai shayar to nahi
akelijaan is a jewel in the roughakelijaan is a jewel in the roughakelijaan is a jewel in the rough
 
akelijaan's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 739
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: mumbai,india
Rep Power: 21
21st July 2006, 06:37 PM

ranju ji,
kaisi hai app?itneeeeee dino baad padha hai aapko,har baar ki tarah aaj bhi aapka kalaam purasar raha.

ruke they hum unki aankho ke samander mein dubane ke liye
woh ek laher si ban ke mere pass se bas gujar gaya

na jaane kitne zakham khaaye hamne unki mohabbat mein
har baar woh naye zakham de kar aur dard de ke chala gaya

apni haato ki lakreero mein hamne na paaya thaa naam unka
unko paane ke liye mera vajood apni taqdeer tak se lad gaya

yeh ashaar pasand aaye.bahut acha laga padhkar


yun bin bulaaye milne chala aata hai,
gham ko mujh se yeh unsiyat kaisi??

--akelijaan--
  Send a message via Yahoo to akelijaan  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#3)
amitr
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
26th July 2006, 01:43 PM

u know i love ranjana very very very much
aapki shayri padker ankho me pani aagaya kas wo hume sun sakti dekh sakti .................
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#4)
ranju bhatia
Registered User
ranju bhatia is a jewel in the roughranju bhatia is a jewel in the roughranju bhatia is a jewel in the rough
 
Offline
Posts: 544
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 21
27th July 2006, 06:47 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by akelijaan
ranju ji,
kaisi hai app?itneeeeee dino baad padha hai aapko,har baar ki tarah aaj bhi aapka kalaam purasar raha.

ruke they hum unki aankho ke samander mein dubane ke liye
woh ek laher si ban ke mere pass se bas gujar gaya

na jaane kitne zakham khaaye hamne unki mohabbat mein
har baar woh naye zakham de kar aur dard de ke chala gaya

apni haato ki lakreero mein hamne na paaya thaa naam unka
unko paane ke liye mera vajood apni taqdeer tak se lad gaya

yeh ashaar pasand aaye.bahut acha laga padhkar
main thik hun bilkul aap kaisi hain? shukriya .....
tumhra meri likhi lines ko itne pyaar se padna bahut achacha lagta hai....


ranjana
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#5)
ranju bhatia
Registered User
ranju bhatia is a jewel in the roughranju bhatia is a jewel in the roughranju bhatia is a jewel in the rough
 
Offline
Posts: 544
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 21
27th July 2006, 06:48 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by amitr
u know i love ranjana very very very much
aapki shayri padker ankho me pani aagaya kas wo hume sun sakti dekh sakti .................
shukriya aap sunaiye hum jarur sunenge....


ranjana
   
Reply With Quote
Super
Old
  (#6)
vikram8373
Registered User
vikram8373 has a spectacular aura aboutvikram8373 has a spectacular aura aboutvikram8373 has a spectacular aura about
 
vikram8373's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 58
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Rajasthan
Rep Power: 21
Super - 10th October 2006, 12:23 PM

apni haato ki lakreero mein hamne na paaya thaa naam unka
unko paane ke liye mera vajood apni taqdeer tak se lad gaya

wah ranjana ji aapki es ghajal (Gazal) men koi bat hai.
very nice


(¨`·.·´¨) Always
`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) Keep
(¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´ Smiling!
`·.¸.·´
  Send a message via Yahoo to vikram8373  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#7)
pooja_d
Registered User
pooja_d has much to be proud ofpooja_d has much to be proud ofpooja_d has much to be proud ofpooja_d has much to be proud ofpooja_d has much to be proud ofpooja_d has much to be proud ofpooja_d has much to be proud ofpooja_d has much to be proud ofpooja_d has much to be proud of
 
pooja_d's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 3,896
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: currntly : Italy and ( home'town : Jaipur )
Rep Power: 33
11th October 2006, 04:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ranju bhatia View Post
ek ghazal likhne ki koshish mein jo lafaz hamse likha gaya
woh unka hi naam thaa jo baar baar likha gaya

maangate rahe mere sukhe lab unse ek panaha pyaar ki
woh saaya sa ban ke hamaare pass se gujar gaya

hamne chaha ki aaj chupke se chum le hum chaand ki palko ko
per subeh hote hi woh mera khawab tute aaiene sa tut gaya

ruke they hum unki aankho ke samander mein dubane ke liye
woh ek laher si ban ke mere pass se bas gujar gaya

na jaane kitne zakham khaaye hamne unki mohabbat mein
har baar woh naye zakham de kar aur dard de ke chala gaya

apni haato ki lakreero mein hamne na paaya thaa naam unka
unko paane ke liye mera vajood apni taqdeer tak se lad gaya
hi,

hmm bahot achha likha hai. meri daad kabool farmaiye ji. unhi likhte rahiye.
ok ji

grazie

aapki dost
pooja


===========Deepika===========
Pyaar Hai Yaa sazaa ayi mere Dil bataa
Toot'ta Kyu.N naHi.N Dard Kaa Silsilaa
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#8)
Harash Mahajan
MaiN Our Meri Tanhaayii
Harash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud of
 
Harash Mahajan's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 984
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 31
11th October 2006, 11:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ranju bhatia View Post
maangate rahe mere sukhe lab unse ek panaha pyaar ki
woh saaya sa ban ke hamaare pass se gujar gaya

waah ....ranju ji bahoot hi dilkash sher likha aapne ye....bahoot kutchh simat gaya isme....
  Send a message via Yahoo to Harash Mahajan Send a message via MSN to Harash Mahajan  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#9)
dilip200
Adhoori Aas
dilip200 has much to be proud ofdilip200 has much to be proud ofdilip200 has much to be proud ofdilip200 has much to be proud ofdilip200 has much to be proud ofdilip200 has much to be proud ofdilip200 has much to be proud ofdilip200 has much to be proud ofdilip200 has much to be proud of
 
dilip200's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 1,543
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: india , shivpuri
Rep Power: 31
12th October 2006, 01:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ranju bhatia View Post
ek ghazal likhne ki koshish mein jo lafaz hamse likha gaya
woh unka hi naam thaa jo baar baar likha gaya

ruke they hum unki aankho ke samander mein dubane ke liye
woh ek laher si ban ke mere pass se bas gujar gaya

na jaane kitne zakham khaaye hamne unki mohabbat mein
har baar woh naye zakham de kar aur dard de ke chala gaya

ranjana ji
accha laga aaapko padna
bakai behad khoobsurati se aapne apen dil ke ehsaso.n ko gazal ke roop main dala hai ... ye sher to bus poochiye mat bakai behad khoob surat gazal hai...
dil se daad kabool farmaiye ga

ek begana sa dost
dilip


" Dilip " -Ek Adhoora khwab


Dard bantne se ab darr lagta hai
mere gamo ka usnane falsafa bana diya
  Send a message via Yahoo to dilip200  
Reply With Quote
hi
Old
  (#10)
rajveeer
shayri is my life
rajveeer has much to be proud ofrajveeer has much to be proud ofrajveeer has much to be proud ofrajveeer has much to be proud ofrajveeer has much to be proud ofrajveeer has much to be proud ofrajveeer has much to be proud ofrajveeer has much to be proud ofrajveeer has much to be proud ofrajveeer has much to be proud of
 
rajveeer's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 1,938
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Punjab(Phagwara)Now:(California) USA
Rep Power: 33
hi - 16th October 2006, 08:33 PM

apni haato ki lakreero mein hamne na paaya thaa naam unka
unko paane ke liye mera vajood apni taqdeer tak se lad gaya

ranjna ji appko raj ka namaskaar.........appki gazal bhut pyari laggi har ashaar bhut pyara hai.....upper likha share bhut meaning full hai.....yu hee likhti raho...hamari duaa appke saath hai......take care......raj......


un se kar liya kinara unki khushi ki khatir
ab mujhe bewafa kahiye ya bawafa kahiye...(Raj)
 Send a message via ICQ to rajveeer Send a message via Yahoo to rajveeer  
Reply With Quote
subhanallahhhh....
Old
  (#11)
Anand.rajasthan
Registered User
Anand.rajasthan is on a distinguished road
 
Offline
Posts: 1
Join Date: Jun 2008
Rep Power: 0
subhanallahhhh.... - 26th June 2008, 08:56 PM

Do char phulo par nikhar aaya to kya aaya..
mazza to tab hai ki kaante bhi pukar uthe...
"bahaar aai".....

So nice of you... written very nice..
all the best.. keep it up..

with best wishes,
Anand
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#12)
vikram8373
Registered User
vikram8373 has a spectacular aura aboutvikram8373 has a spectacular aura aboutvikram8373 has a spectacular aura about
 
vikram8373's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 58
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Rajasthan
Rep Power: 21
2nd July 2008, 05:58 PM

Very nice ramjna ji

Kafi dino bad aapki post dekhi hai.
aap ki gazala men koi jaddu jaruru hai

thanks


(¨`·.·´¨) Always
`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) Keep
(¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´ Smiling!
`·.¸.·´
  Send a message via Yahoo to vikram8373  
Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Ek Ghazal Likhne Ki Koshish Mein Jo Lafaz Hamse Likha Gaya rijaan Shayri-e-Dard 11 2nd October 2009 10:40 PM
~*~*~*AnDaAz~*~*~*(ek aur koshis likhne ki) Taish Shayri-e-Dard 12 3rd July 2005 06:50 PM
ek ghajal aapke naam land_cruiser Shayri-e-Ishq 1 21st February 2005 01:04 AM
Aise likhne ka... ketan_b Shayri-e-Dard 0 20th May 2004 03:40 PM
Tum na jaana chodke- Ghazal likhne ki koshish SMAH Aapki Shayri 5 1st September 2002 08:44 AM



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com