~~~funny doctors~~~

dr.raj · **~~~funny doctors~~~ -** 18th August 2008, 12:37 PM

A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.

The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.

She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.

dr.raj · 18th August 2008, 12:38 PM

A secretary walked into her boss's office & said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you."

"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained.

"Tell me some good news for once."

"Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary.

"You're not sterile."

dr.raj · 18th August 2008, 12:40 PM

A man comes running to the doctor shouting and
screaming in pain "Please doctor, you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee."

DOCTOR: "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."

MAN: "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."

DOCTOR: "No, you don't understand! I'll put some
cream on the place you were stung."

MAN: "Oh! It happened in the garden where I was
sitting under a tree."'

DOCTOR (in anger): "No, no, you IDIOT! I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting."
MAN (still screaming in pain): "On my finger! The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts."

DOCTOR (banging his fist, abusing and shouting):
"Which one?"
MAN (innocently): "How am I to know? All bees look the same to me."

dr.raj · 18th August 2008, 12:42 PM

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

Diya_Jale · 4th September 2008, 12:57 AM

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye
Santa: Meri wife ko nahin bolna mein usse surprise dunga!

astha · 13th September 2008, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dr.raj

A man comes running to the doctor shouting and
screaming in pain "Please doctor, you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee."

DOCTOR: "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."

MAN: "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."

DOCTOR: "No, you don't understand! I'll put some
cream on the place you were stung."

MAN: "Oh! It happened in the garden where I was
sitting under a tree."'

DOCTOR (in anger): "No, no, you IDIOT! I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting."
MAN (still screaming in pain): "On my finger! The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts."

DOCTOR (banging his fist, abusing and shouting):
"Which one?"
MAN (innocently): "How am I to know? All bees look the same to me."

lol

astha · 13th September 2008, 07:16 PM

"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."
"Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia."

Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?

Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.

Prisoner: Look here, doc! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!

Doctor: I am, bit by bit.

dr.raj · 22nd September 2008, 12:28 PM

This guy went to hospital for a circumcision, but because of a mix up, he ended up having a complete sex change.

All of the doctors and nurses had gathered around his bed as he was waking up so they could give him the bad news.

Naturally, the poor guy went to pieces and started crying when they explained what had happened to him.

"Oh no!" he moaned, "this means I'll never be able to experience an erection ever again!"

"Of course you will," one of the doctors soothed. It'll just have to be someone else's, that's all."

dr.raj · 22nd September 2008, 12:34 PM

A man goes into the doctor's office feeling really bad. After a thorough examination the doctor calls him into his office and says "I have some news. You have HAGS."

"What is HAGS" the man asks. 'It's herpes, AIDS, gonorrhea, and syphilis" says the doctor.

"Oh my God" says the man. "What are you going to do?"

"We are going to put you in an isolated room and feed you pancakes and pizza."

"Is that going to help me?" says the man.

"No" says the doctor. "But it's the only food we can think of that we can slide under the door"

astha · 22nd September 2008, 08:54 PM

A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed with what he could do - everyone except for Mr. Thompson, the town skeptic.

Grumpy old Mr. Thompson went to visit this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. When it was time for his appointment he told the doctor, "Hey, doc, I've lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?"

The doctor scratched his head and mumbled to himself a little, then told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is jar number 47."

So the doctor brought the jar out, opened it, and told Mr. Thompson to taste it. He tasted it and immediately spit it out, "This is gross!" he yelled. "Looks like I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Thompson," said the doctor. So Mr. Thompson went home.... very mad.

One month later, Mr. Thompson decides to go back to the doctor and try once again to expose him as a fake, by complaining of a new problem. "Doc," he started, "I can't remember anything!" Thinking he had the doctor stumped now, he waited as the doctor scratched his head, mumbled to himself a little, and told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is jar number 47, it's......"

But before the doctor could finish his sentence, Mr. Thompson was cured and fled the room!

Mayank · 23rd September 2008, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by astha

A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed with what he could do - everyone except for Mr. Thompson, the town skeptic.

Grumpy old Mr. Thompson went to visit this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. When it was time for his appointment he told the doctor, "Hey, doc, I've lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?"

The doctor scratched his head and mumbled to himself a little, then told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is jar number 47."

So the doctor brought the jar out, opened it, and told Mr. Thompson to taste it. He tasted it and immediately spit it out, "This is gross!" he yelled. "Looks like I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Thompson," said the doctor. So Mr. Thompson went home.... very mad.

One month later, Mr. Thompson decides to go back to the doctor and try once again to expose him as a fake, by complaining of a new problem. "Doc," he started, "I can't remember anything!" Thinking he had the doctor stumped now, he waited as the doctor scratched his head, mumbled to himself a little, and told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is jar number 47, it's......"

But before the doctor could finish his sentence, Mr. Thompson was cured and fled the room!

very funny....................TFS

Diya_Jale · 23rd September 2008, 09:10 PM

Meri ek frnd hai Guddu ...woh Doc hai ..

Ek bar Guddu ko Nurse se pyar ho gaya
Guddu ne Nurse ko letter likha ....

Sister ...I Love You

astha · 24th September 2008, 09:01 AM

"Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs."

dr.raj · 11th July 2009, 06:00 PM

An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, “Ma’ am, would be OK if sit here and talk with you?”
She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!”
Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed.
The young woman, waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, “I am sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments.”
The cunning guy now yells loudly, “What do you mean by $500?”

qqplus · 13th July 2009, 03:57 PM

wwah wah wah maja aa gaya parh ke ! wah

qqplus · 14th July 2009, 02:46 PM

superb !

maza aa gaya parh ke
wah

heh LOL

dr.raj · 1st September 2009, 05:14 AM

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
"You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."