phool

[Ankita]

Meri nazar mein tum phool ho
charon*mein sajay raah ki dhool ho (devta kay charon mein)

zhulfon mein lagay shayad muskoorate ho
dev ki puja mein khushboo le aatay ho

chehray mein mehboob ki yaad dilatay ho
chandni mein shabnam say nahatay ho

teri har adaa mein dil mera abaad ho
aisi dua mein hi toh haath uthatay ho

jab bhi aatay samnay khushiyaan ho
mehboob kay chehray meiin duniya ho

yunhii nahin tum dil ko lubhatay ho
meray sanam 'a.........' hi karwatay ho... ('a...... puja)
A

[Ankita]

jab bhi baat chali rukhsaron ki
khushboo udi kaliyon aur baharon ki
woh chupkay say chalay aana
dheeray say muskoorana
dil say dil ki baat hui diwano ki...
A

[Ankita]

kaliyon ka sharmana khushboo ka bikhar jana
aisa hi toh mausam hai jawani ka dekho aana

ishq ka mausam dil ko lagta hai kitna suhana
meinay toh socha hai isko ibadat dekho mana

tum anjaanay ho dhondhalay say khayal mana
kabhi toh meray jeevan mein rang bhar jana....
A

[Ankita]

sab baatain baharon ki nazaaron ki
kisnay dekhi baharain kitchen ki

meri nazaron mein tum gobhi ka phool ho
khatay hi tumko ho jaatay gul ho

aisay gobhi kay phool ki mein diwani hoon
tujhe dekha toh aata muhe mein paani hai...
A

Shayad kisi ko gobhi ka phool pasand aaye kyon ki phool par toh koi comment thay nahin.

[Rashid_rahil]

Ankita ji,

Bahot achchhi comedy karti hai aap,

Thodi si mehnat aur kijiye, bahot saare kalaam milienge....

waise aapkaa phool, ghobhi ke phool se to achchha hi thaa...daad kubul kare

Rashid

Originally Posted by Ankita

sab baatain baharon ki nazaaron ki
kisnay dekhi baharain kitchen ki

meri nazaron mein tum gobhi ka phool ho
khatay hi tumko ho jaatay gul ho

aisay gobhi kay phool ki mein diwani hoon
tujhe dekha toh aata muhe mein paani hai...
A

Shayad kisi ko gobhi ka phool pasand aaye kyon ki phool par toh koi comment thay nahin.

[Ankita]

Namaste Rashidji,

Thanks kii aapnay mera likha padha aur comment bhi diya. Asal mein jaan kar gobhi ka phool likha tha ki dekhain koi padhta bhi hai ya nahin.

Rahi baat bakwas likhnay ki toh agar koii achi likhi nazm par comment nahin deta hai toh koi apni writing ko theek kaisay k ar sakta.

Meri koi baat buri lagay toh maafi.

Regards,
A

[Rashid_rahil]

Are nahi Ankita ji,

Maine bakwaas kab kahaa ji, Main to ye keh rahaa hooN ke thodaa sudhaar kiyaa jaa saktaa hai, aur agar aap wakai chhahe to aap bhi aisaa likh sakti hai jo sab ki attention keech le aur aapko bahot saare comments mil sakte hai

Maine to achchha kahaa tha, bakwaas nahi, Anyways aapne try to kiya,, thats important......

Take care

Rashid

Originally Posted by Ankita

Namaste Rashidji,

Thanks kii aapnay mera likha padha aur comment bhi diya. Asal mein jaan kar gobhi ka phool likha tha ki dekhain koi padhta bhi hai ya nahin.

Rahi baat bakwas likhnay ki toh agar koii achi likhi nazm par comment nahin deta hai toh koi apni writing ko theek kaisay k ar sakta.

Meri koi baat buri lagay toh maafi.

Regards,
A

[Ankita]

Hello Rashid ji,

Thanks for taking time to write to me. I do appreciate your input. Jaan kar khushi hui ki mera likha aapnay bakwas nahin kaha. I would appreciate if you can guide kahan sudhaar kiya jaa sakta hai. please explain so that I can understand. Hope you have time to do this for me.

Regards,
A

[Rashid_rahil]

Hello Ji,

You are welcome....Main to abhi khud underconstruction hooN ji....yahaaN pe bahot pahonchi hui hastiyaaN hai Shayri ke field meiN. You can take their help to improve.

Anyways, keep trying that's only way of improvement....

Take care

Rashid

Originally Posted by Ankita

Hello Rashid ji,

Thanks for taking time to write to me. I do appreciate your input. Jaan kar khushi hui ki mera likha aapnay bakwas nahin kaha. I would appreciate if you can guide kahan sudhaar kiya jaa sakta hai. please explain so that I can understand. Hope you have time to do this for me.

Regards,
A

[Ankita]

aab baat toh yeh hai ki jawaab toh aapnay diya kisi pahunchi hui hasti ko toh mein nahin jaanti. waisay under construction ji construction kab finish hogi?
A