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Us Shatir Ne... |
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(#1)
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Us Shatir Ne... -
9th June 2010, 03:38 PM
Kismat apni beraNg likhi kisi likhne wale Shatir ne,
Na jaane kya zindgi likhi us likhne wale Shatir ne... Khushi koi mehsus huyi na mehsus hua koi gum apna, ToDh diya bus chalte firte mera usne har ek sapna.. Sapna kya? jo jo tha apna usko mujhse door kiya, Dooriyo.N saNg rehte rehte maine jeena seekh liya... Aaj mujhe koi gum hai, na koi aaj shikayat hai, hume.N bhi likhna sikha diya us likhne wale Shatir ne... -Ritu ...Ek Mausam Life smiles at you when you are happy.. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy!!" # Feel The Difference # |
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(#2)
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ek dost
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9th June 2010, 03:46 PM
haan chhoti tere ehshash mehsoosh ho rahe hai. kitna dard milta hai hame jab koi apna sath chor deta hai
khush rehna tu hamesha tuje mile saari duniya ki dua. jese tune kaha Aaj mujhe koi gum hai, na koi aaj shikayat hai, hume.N bhi likhna sikha diya us likhne wale Shatir ne bahut acha likha hai tune aur aisa hi rahe hamesha jesha tune likha hai AankheN khuleeN to jaag uTheeN hasrateN tamaam Uss ko bhi kho diyaa jissay paya thaa khwaab mein
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(#3)
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Loquacious Adonis
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9th June 2010, 04:56 PM
Ritu ye ghazal tou nahi lag rahi hai.....
What is this...........? Can you explain? ( Ya koi ishq wishq ka chakkar tou nahi?) |
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(#4)
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9th June 2010, 05:29 PM
Quote:
 yeh meri shikayat hai us shatir se,jo upar baith ke sab dekhta hai...  Aur shayad meri shikayato.N par haNsta bhi hoga.........................  Life smiles at you when you are happy.. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy!!" # Feel The Difference # |
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(#5)
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9th June 2010, 05:30 PM
Quote:
God Bless you Apki choti Ritu Life smiles at you when you are happy.. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy!!" # Feel The Difference # |
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(#6)
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Anshumali
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9th June 2010, 08:41 PM
Ritu Ji.....Namaste ! aapki tehreer ke eshaason me andar ki kunthaa ubhar ke aati hai...jo dil ko chhuti hai....matla aur maqta kaafi asardaar lage mujhe....yunhi behtar koshish ke saath aate rahen....dil se daad....khush rahen....
apna khayal rakhen... duaaon ke saath....  YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
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(#7)
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10th June 2010, 11:02 AM
Quote:
Bahut Bahut shukriya is hausla-afja'ii ka. Khush Rahe.N God Bless You Apki Dost Ritu Life smiles at you when you are happy.. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy!!" # Feel The Difference # |
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(#8)
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10th June 2010, 01:28 PM
Nice work Ritu Jee...............
Par tujhe bevafa bhi kehna achcha nahi lagta... Mob.: +971 501297654
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(#9)
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Sifar
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10th June 2010, 02:06 PM
Itna to pata chal gaya aap kuch kehna chahti hai ... par kya wo mujh kam aQla ki aQla mai nahi aa raha ...
Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#10)
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RooH Se RooH Tak
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10th June 2010, 02:16 PM
Quote:
Radhika  Seene Me Zakham Utarey Chale Gaye Jo Humpe Guzari Guzarey Chale Gaye Woh Aayega Ek Din Milne Humse Naam Uska Hi Pukarey Chale Gaye E-mail : radhika.nm2@gmail.com |
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(#11)
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RADHE RADHE
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10th June 2010, 02:26 PM
Quote:
radhe radhe bahut sunder Aapka Apna Ishk 'इश्क' के बदले इश्क चाहना तिजारत है इज़हार किससे करें महबूब तो दिल में है email: rkm179@gmail.com 
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(#12)
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Shayri.com Moderator
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10th June 2010, 03:28 PM
Ritu jee:
namaste! aik achChii koShiSh! yuuNhi liKhate rahe.n aage bhee! KhuSh rahe.n! dil se daad! duaao.n ke saath ijaazat aapka ~ Dhaval |
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(#13)
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10th June 2010, 05:02 PM
Quote:
Apki DOst, Ritu Life smiles at you when you are happy.. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy!!" # Feel The Difference # |
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(#14)
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10th June 2010, 05:06 PM
Quote:
Samajh nahi.N aaya? Par isme na samajh paane jaisi toh koi baat hi nahi.N thi... "Shatir" word is used for God who writes our fate. baaki jazbaaTo.N ko shabDo.N me.N dhaalne me.N koi galTi ho gayi kya? Jald hi bataiyega. Apki dost, Ritu Life smiles at you when you are happy.. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy!!" # Feel The Difference # |
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(#15)
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Loquacious Adonis
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10th June 2010, 05:45 PM
Wow my msg is gone.....
Khair Ritu some other time...... well wo kya hai na ke mein kuch kaam bhi deyta hoon yahan logon ko |
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(#16)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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10th June 2010, 06:16 PM
Ritu ji ko mera salaam,
muhtarma mujhe aapki aakhiri line me bahut potential dikhi shayad isiliye reply kar raha hun,aapke har sher me last me rhyme karne ki kosish ne aapke ehsashon ke painepan ko kaafi ghata diya hai,aaapse darkhwast hogi ki aisi rhyming scheme ke bajaaye nazm,ghazal,ya fir muktak(free style) likhne ki kosish karen usse ehsashon ko aur jaan milegi, waise khuda se shikayat karne ka aapka anaaz pasand aaya,umeed karta hun ki agli baar aapki kalam se kuch aur behtar padhne ko milega, agar kuch bhi jyada keh gaya hoon to maafi ka talabgaar rahuNga...!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#17)
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11th June 2010, 09:30 AM
Quote:
Apki n'ek ra'ii pasaNd aayi. Bahut baar mujhe apna likha khud hi pasaNd nahi.N aata,ho sakta hai uski vajah yahi rhyme dene ki koshish rahi ho. Aapne muktak ke baare me.N kaha, kripaya iske baare me.N kuch bataye.N Dar'asal main alag alag tarah se likhti hooN par mujhe ye nahi pata ke kis form ko muktak kehte haiN.  To meri jaankari me.N thoDa ijafa kijiye agar munasib ho, God Bless You Apki Dost Ritu Life smiles at you when you are happy.. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy!!" # Feel The Difference # |
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(#18)
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11th June 2010, 09:38 AM
Quote:
Bahut bahut khush raho Thanks for rep. as well God Bless you Apki Dost Ritu Life smiles at you when you are happy.. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy!!" # Feel The Difference # |
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(#19)
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nida
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Location: Vaishali Nagar,Bhilai ,(Deep Vision & Analysis Thinkings then way )
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11th June 2010, 10:26 AM
Ritu ji
Aapke ehasaas bahut hi khoob hai , aur ghazal bhi ban sakti hai, bas shabdo ko jara sa properly arrange karna hoga. yadi aap permission de to mai aapki ghazal likhu. aur ji sawaal bhi aapke jehan me ho uska jawaab bhi. yadi aap kahe to , as you wish. ajay nidaan http://www.anidaan.@gmail.com All right reserved with Poet@Ajay nidaan  Kisi ek chehare ki talash me bhatakti rahee zindagi par mila nahi zindagi ko apni pahchaan ka chehara.
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(#20)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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11th June 2010, 11:03 PM
Quote:
Ritu ji ko mera salaam, Muktak chand hindi ki lekhan shaili hai, aur isi tarh ki urdu me azaad nazm hoti hai, iski khasiyt ye hai ki isme koi v fixed rhyming scheme ya koii bhi pattern nahiN hota, isme bas apne ehshshon ko prese ki tarah likh diyaa jata hai,bas ye prose ki tarah vistrit nahiN hota apitu sookhsm hota hai, jisme kam lafzoN me bahut kuch kehne ki takat hoti hai. aur bhi koi doubt ya raii chahiye ho to aap bejhijhak pooch sakti haiN,waise jyada kuch to nahin jaanta par gar kuch v pata hota hai to bataane ki kosish jarur rehti hai...!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#21)
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An Incomplite Dream
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11th June 2010, 11:35 PM
Ritu Jee AadaaB!
Aapki peshkash per nazar gayi to dekha....... Ahsaas bahut achche hai aapke aur aapke khayaal bhi umdaa hia per khulker samne nahi aa paye yeh bhi sahin hai... Par aap koshish jari rakhengi to aapki lekhani ko koi bandhan nahi rok payenga....... aapki last time wali post bahut jyada umdaa rahi thi.... ek aadh baar aisa ho jata hai ke ahsaas ko lafz nahi milte per koshish karti rahiye...... aap bahut achcha aur umdaa likhne lagengi....... Keep writting .... Keep smiling.... Khuda Hafez...... Quote:
NidaaN sahab Aadaab! Aapki pazi rai se dil khush hua..... aap sure Ritu jee ko sikha sakte hai ... I think unhe koi iteraaz nahi hoga...... aap mukat lekhani ke saath saath gazal ke bhi achche jankaar hai ...... aap zarur sikhaiye Ritu jee ko ... 
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(#22)
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Sifar
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Location: Dubai, UAE
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12th June 2010, 12:03 AM
Quote:
Ilm hona acchi baat hai .. par adhura ilm khatarnaak ho sakta hai ... lekin aapsi guftgu mai kuch harz nahi..... agar kuch badhta hai to dairaa.. humare ilm kaa.. to sochta huN .. kuch tabadla-e-khyaal ho hi jaye,,,.. Urdu mai aazaad nazm ka matlab katayi nahi hai aap qaide bhool jayeN .. aazaad nazm mai kafiya radeef ki aazaadi hoti hai ... isi ke va-basta use aazaad kaha jata hai .. par usme behar ka hona laazmi hai .. par aisa blkul nahi hai .. ki urdu mai bilkul aazaad khyaaloN ki koi jagah nahi .. bikul jagah hai .. par us nazm ko "naCree nazm" kaha jaata hai .. jisme aap bilkul khul ke kisi bhi tarah se khyaaloN ko rakh sakte hai ... aur wazn kafiya radeef ..ya shayri ka koi bhi qaida usme zaroori nahi hai ... Umeed hai meri baat se yahaN mere sukhanwaroN ka ilm badhega hi.. aur koi bhi meri in baatoN ka bura nahi lagayega ... jaate jaate ritu jee.. agar aur kuch bhi sawaal hoN man mai ya kuch poochna chahe to khaaksaar se pooch sakti hai.. maiN apne ilm ke daire mai zaroor aapko roshani dikhane ki koshish karuNga...  Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#23)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
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12th June 2010, 02:58 AM
Quote:
bas yahi kahuNga ki mere bhai kab hum in cheezoN se upar uthenge,tumhe aur mujhe ahchi tarah pata hai ki azad nazm ki kya baateN haiN par ritu ji ke liye ye isliye nahiN keh sakta kyuNki inhe nazm ka hi ilm nahiN hai par haaN agar mutak ko compare kareN to vo azad nazmm ke hi sabse kareeb hai aur ahi baat radeef aur kfiya ki to vo sirf ghazaloN me dekhi jaati haiN nazmon me in lafzoN ka isltemaal nahiN kiya jata,bas beher mujhe kabhi pasand hi nahin ayi,kyuNki likhne wale ko baaNdhne jaisa hai,waise maine jo v bataya vo azaad nazm ke bare me nahiN muktak ke bare me th,ur uske bare me aap mere khayal hchi tarh jaante haiN,chalo chodo,aapas me fir baat karenGe nkyuNki na mere paas yahaaN aapas me behas karne ka waqt hai aur na maiN karna chaahta huN, aaj waise v dedh maheene baad hi yahaan aaya huN,waise online kam aa pata huN par mazaa ayega behas karne me,basharte vo aapas me ho,yahaan ke mahaauL se hum dono waakif haiN,aur waise v padhne likhne ka dil kam hi ho pat hai, umed karuNga ki aapne samjha hoga,bas maaf kar dena agar jyada keh gaya kahiN v to,kyuNki aap jaante ho ki maiN waise v nausakhiya huN to mujhe kuch v nahiN aata bas halka fulka jo padh ke seekha hai wahi batata uN...!! Aapka CHOTA...!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#24)
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Registered User
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12th June 2010, 10:09 AM
Quote:
jisse ki hum sab bhi saath saath seekh sake...... ab PM par private tuition denge to baki sdc vanchit rah jayegi........ tkank you sir regards |
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(#25)
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Registered User
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12th June 2010, 11:05 AM
Quote:
bahut khoob......very natural anti thesis.... daad is line ke liye..... mera khyaal thoda viprit hai auro se(apse se bhi) is kalaam ke liye..... mere khayaal se aapne bahut accha aur bahut comfortably qafiya nibhaya hai bina koi thought maare balki apke qafiyabandi ne thought ko char chand laga diya..... aur aapne ise definetely padte padte likha hai .....kyuki lines bahut hi modulated hai.....mujhe pata hai apko beher ka koi ilm nahi magar aapki sari lines kafi hadd tak ravaa hai......jaise wazn me hi ho...padne me smooth hai kaafi hadd tak... hume.N bhi likhna sikha diya us likhne wale Shatir ne ye line bhi acchi lagi....khoobsurat alliterative effect hai.... so phir se daad kabhi kabhi baat aam lage isliye bhi khas mehnat karni padti hai ye koshish kuch aisi hai reps ++++ kisiko deta nahi jaldi=think ur self priviledged regards |
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(#26)
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12th June 2010, 11:16 AM
Ek baDa sa reply dene ki koshish ki thi par afsos server k speed ki badaulat aap tak nahi.N pahuNcha payii.....
 chalo, vo kehte haiN na jo hota hai acche ke liye hota hai...... so. Itne man se reply likha.(m telling you i don't like typing same matter again & again) aur vo kho gaya.. jaise amavas ki aNdhiyari raat me.N chaaNd kho jata hai..... (Now Shayars can better understand my position... )So, Ap sabki baat ka jawab maiN duNgi baad me.N ( ab mood nahi.N ho raha itna kuch type karne ka) Aur Ziddii sahab ne to kya kya likh daala... in ka bhi mood........ Chaliye khushi hui aapka reply paDh ke and thanks a ton for making me priviledged! Innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnna saraaaaaaaaa thank u! God Bless You, Apki Dost Ritu Life smiles at you when you are happy.. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy!!" # Feel The Difference # |
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(#27)
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14th June 2010, 10:44 AM
Namaskaar Dosto.N,
Ho sakta hai aaj maiN yaha jo kuch kehne ja rahi hooN vo SDC ke bahut se members ko pasaNd nahi.N aayega par kyoNki kafi logo.N ne yaha kafi kuch kaha hai (aur PM ke through bhi) to isiliye yaha reply dena mera farz banta hai. Sabse pehli baat, yeh ghazal nahi.N hai. MaiN techniques nahi.N janti par itna janti hooN ke ghazal kya hoti hai. Aur mera maan,na hai ke aapki lekhni agar aapko sukoon na de sake to aisa likhne se kya fayda? I'm not a professional shayra who gets incentives for writing neither I want to be. poetry karna mere khoon me.N hai, maiN isi ke liye jeeti hooN par b'eher/radeef aur kafiye ki baNdisho.N me.N reh ker maiN shayad nahi.N likh sakti. MaiN vo likhti hooN jo mera dil chahta hai aur aksar tab likhti hooN jab bahut khush hoti hooN ya bahut dukhi. Aur jab aaNkho.N me.N aaNsu bhare ho aur aap likh rahe ho.N tab aap techniques nahi.N ehsaas ke baare me.N sochte hai.N, ye toh aap bhi mante honge. Doosri baat, Yaha.N kuch logoN ne mujhe sikhane me.N ruchi dikhayi hai, maiN unki tah-e-dil se shukr-guzaar hooN ke unhone itni ruchi dikhayi. Aur maiN puri koshish karuNgi ke jaldi hi aap se Ghazal ki techniques seekh jauN. Teesri baat, Sameer jee, Jis post ki aap baat kar rahe haiN vo toh chaNd haftey pehle likhi thi aur yeh post 2004-05 ke aas paas ki hai. Waqt ke sath thoDi ramak toh Ghazal kehne wale me.N aa hi jati hai. Aur haaN, yeh post bhi adhuri hai kyoNki ye mere collection me.N nahi.N thi. Bus jitni yaad thi utni post kar di. khair vo to ek alag baat hai. Ek baat aur, Kisi ne mujhse yeh bhi kaha tha ke SDC par laDkiyo.N ki post par reply karne ki members me.N hoD lagi rehti hai. Toh kripya aap sab is baat ka dhyan rekheNge to mujhe khushi hogi. yeh is post se related nahiN hai fir bhi, I read somewhere & would like to share with u also. "Life is to express yourself not to impress others." Aaj maiN yeh sab keh pa rahi hooN kyoNki SDC par hi kisi ne mujhse kaha tha "LOVE URSELF" Agar kisi ko hurt kiya ho to maafi chahuNgi. Regards, Ritu Life smiles at you when you are happy.. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy!!" # Feel The Difference # |
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(#28)
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Loquacious Adonis
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14th June 2010, 11:31 AM
Quote:
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(#29)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 839
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: India
Rep Power: 30
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14th June 2010, 12:41 PM
Quote:
Life smiles at you when you are happy.. But, Life salutes you when you make others happy!!" # Feel The Difference # |
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(#30)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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14th June 2010, 01:05 PM
Ritu
Ye hath main jhola jhanda leke kyun aagayi ho yaar ... aur koi yahan hurt nahi hota...kisi ke paas heart hi nahi hai ,.. dilphuke shayar hai sab ... lol Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#31)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 47
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14th June 2010, 01:34 PM
waise ritu ye to bataoo ki PM par tuition kisne kisne diya....??
baki log bhi to kuch seekhe..... mai bahut curious hu apke rearranged words dekhne ke liye |
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(#32)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
Offline
Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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14th June 2010, 03:12 PM
Quote:
Love urself n write to xpress n nt impress, gud compeltelly agreed....!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#33)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
Offline
Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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14th June 2010, 03:13 PM
Quote:
saare dil phuNke shayar haiN ye baat to sahi hai,dil pooNkne ke baad hi log aksar shayar bante haiN..... hehehehehehe....!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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