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Ek Dua |
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(#1)
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An Incomplite Dream
  
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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Ek Dua -
8th June 2009, 10:09 PM
Sookhe hai kai gulshan in sab ko khila dey moula
Is pyasi zameen ko ab zam zam peela dey moula Bant chuke hai log yahan kai mazhaboN meiN Jod dey dil inke ab sab ko phir mila dey moula Bade bebak ho chuke hai zulm o sitam ke saudagar Aisa mojiza bata inke jism se ruh ko hila dey moula BechaNi, BesukuNi, Bekasi ka alam ho gaya hai yahaN Rahem-o-karam kii barsat ker kuch rahat dila dey moula Ho jaye kayanat se dard door aur bus khushiyan hi ho yahaN Sirf is adna si "kwahish" ko pura ker duaon ka sila dey moula 
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(#2)
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raj
Offline
Posts: 2,332
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: dil mein khud ke..aisa nahi kisi ko mera pata nahi hai mujhe dhundhne ki had tak koi dhundhta nahi hai..un
Rep Power: 34
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9th June 2009, 01:21 AM
dil se meri dua hai apki har dua kubul ho..
bhaut achi lagi apki ye gazal... शब्दों में पिरोना है , जिससे वो हमारी यादों में महकते रहे |
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(#3)
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Anshumali
Offline
Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
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9th June 2009, 03:47 AM
Quote:
Sameer ji...aapne apni nazm mai moula se iltzaa ki hai aaj ka nizaam theek ho jaaye...moula aapki duaa kabul kare ... hum bhi yahi chahate hai duniya mai aman aur chain laut aaye...sab sukhi ho...aaj ke samajik parivesh par likhi aapki Ghazal ne mujhe bahut mutasir kiya hai...aap aise hi likhte rahe aur main padhta rahunga....  YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
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(#4)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,089
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toronto,Canada
Rep Power: 31
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9th June 2009, 08:24 AM
aadaab !!!
sameer ji sab se phele yehi kahugii... aapki dua jald se jalldpurii ho... I think its every1's dua tooo  ... duniya mein khushii har taraf hoo..Aameenaap ki ghazal behaat pasand aayiiii... aur yeh pigaam kar ek ki dua bhiii take care likhte rahye aapki dost mandeep ~ Mandeep Kaur ~ |
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(#5)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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9th June 2009, 03:26 PM
Quote:
Aameen hum sab ki dua kabool ho.......... Padhne ke liye shukriya aage bhi padhne ki zehmat uthate rahiye... Khush rahiye...
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(#6)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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10th June 2009, 04:54 PM
Quote:
Aap hume lagadar padhte aaye hai aur apni rai se nawazte aaye hai, iska main tahe dil se shukra guzar huN... Aapne is Gazal ko padha aur saraha shukriya... Aage bhi aapka sath bana rahe yehi dua... Khush rahiye............................................ .....
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(#7)
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'Bismil'
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Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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10th June 2009, 05:08 PM
Quote:
khush rahiye.. aapka, Pradhyuman - Bismil gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#8)
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Main shayar to nahin.....
Offline
Posts: 2,796
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: kanpur
Rep Power: 50
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10th June 2009, 06:54 PM
Awesome.. It is really a best one of urs, bahut accha lagta hai jab koi saare sansaar ka dard apni shayri mein sameta hai, apne dard par to kai log likh lete hain.
So it is a great one. Reps. +++ added एक हाथ में दिल उनके एक हाथ में खंजर था चेहरे पे दोस्त का मुखौटा अजीब सा मंजर था Arvind Saxena Ph. No. 7905856220 |
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(#9)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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11th June 2009, 03:17 PM
Quote:
Jii aapko yeh dua pasand aayi uska bahut shukra guzar hun bus dua kijiye.. ke yeh dua kabool ho jaye... Thanks agaiN Khush rahiye tc
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(#10)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 665
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Waltham, MA
Rep Power: 27
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12th June 2009, 05:19 AM
This one is good Khwahish, different than what you write normally. shows your talent in more depth.
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(#11)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 386
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Lucknow
Rep Power: 18
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12th June 2009, 04:56 PM
Quote:
Sirf is adna si "kwahish" ko pura ker duaon ka sila dey moula Aamin..... very nice t.k. Gam kabi fareb na denge khushi ki tarah. ........Shaan...... |
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(#12)
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Huii Sabse Paraayi
Offline
Posts: 5,283
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kolkata
Rep Power: 44
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12th June 2009, 06:03 PM
Sameer jee,
Dua,oN ke bhid mein ek duaa hai humari kabool ho khudaa se har duaa tumhari achhi ghazal hai jee khus rahiye apna khayal rakhiyega daad Diya  Mohabbat ke baad mohabbat mumkin hai faraz. Magar toot ke chahna sirf ek baar hota hai Goodbye SDC Diya |
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(#13)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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13th June 2009, 03:32 PM
Quote:
Halat dekhke main kya har kisi ki sonch aisi hoti rahengi... Aapki daad kabool kii....... Aapbhi khush rahiye aur aapna saah banaye rakhiye..
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(#14)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,855
Join Date: Sep 2007
Rep Power: 33
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13th June 2009, 03:56 PM
Quote:
Aadaab a'rZ hai ! baRe miyaaN kaise haiN ? ma'zrat chahta hoN keh app ke Hukm ko poora kerne meN takheer ho gaee , app ki duaa to beHad achi lagi , meri jaanib se dili daad qabool fermaaieN . app se iltaja hai agli baar likhaaii zara se baRi muntakhib kiyaa kijiye , dosra yeh keh app zara khud bhi ghaur fermaaieN akhri do she'r kuch baRe ho gaey haiN . yuNhi likhte rahiye aur meHfil ko sajate rahiye Mujeeb |
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(#15)
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A SOUL OF LOVE
Offline
Posts: 698
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: jaipur
Rep Power: 23
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13th June 2009, 11:17 PM
Quote:
Ab khwahish ki koi aur khwahish na rahein, Uski DUAA ka her phool yaha,khila de MAULA....... allah aapki saari duaae'n qubool krein..bahoot khoob.....fe amaan allah Tanhaai bhie tanha hoti hain magar,TAHIR tanha nahi hota................./ |
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(#16)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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17th June 2009, 05:09 PM
Quote:
Aapne is post ko reps ke kabil samjha bahut bahut shukriya..... Aage bhi apna saath banaye rakhiye...... Khush rahiye......... Quote:
Jii haan ahsaas duniya ka bhi hua isliye yeh ahsaas nikal gaye...... Aage bhi apna saath banaye rakhiye... Khush rahiye....... Quote:
Aapko gazal ka maqta pasand aaya khushi hui.... main maqta likhane ke muamle mein thoda kamzore hun...... Aage bhi apna saat aur rai se nawazte rahiye... Khush rahiye......... Quote:
Aapki dua ka asar hua toh bande ki koi Kwahish hi nahi bachengi.... Phir Kwahish takhallus ka kya fayada... Daad ke liye shukra guzar hun....... Khush rahiye....... Aur aage bhi apni duaon se nawazte rahiye.........
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(#17)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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30th June 2009, 05:54 PM
Quote:
Aapki daad aur rai dono bhi kabool hai......... Bus aapse yehi guzarish rahengi......... ke aap bazm mein aate rahiye aur apne rai se nawazte rahiye....... Aap ki roshni se bahut haunsla milta hai...... Aage se sari baaton ka dhyaN rakhunga........ Khush rahiye .. Khuda hafeez.....
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(#18)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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2nd July 2009, 10:52 PM
Quote:
Aapke is khobsurat andaaz aur dua ka behad shukra guzar huN...... AameeN.......... AllaH aapki bhi dua kabool kareN.. Aate rahiye Khush rahiye... Khuda Hafez..
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(#19)
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Humanity
Offline
Posts: 6,227
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 42
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3rd July 2009, 11:26 AM
Quote:
Koshish acchi thhi... Magar mujhe is poetry ko padhkar do cheezen mehsoos huiin... pehli aap apni spellings thheek kijiye... "peela dey moula"... this peela stands for yellow... aapko likhna chaahiye.... "Pilaa de moula"... Doosra kucch misron me yun laga jaise ke rhyme baithane ke liye aapne kucch bhi istemaal kar liya... "jism se ruh ko hila de maula..." Aisa kucch maine pehle nahin sunaa... Aur haan...Capital letters sirf shayri ko khoobsuurat banaane ke liye mat kijiye... inse tallaffuz bithhay jaata hai...bayaani aur bayaaNi me fark hai... These were just my thoughts... you may not approve of it... koshsih karte rahiye... accha likhte hain....likhte rahiye... apna kahayal rakhiye... Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai |
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(#20)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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4th July 2009, 04:16 PM
Pulkit sahaB AadaaB,
Main aapka behad shukraguzar huN ke aapne apna kimti waqt nikal ker is nacheez ki adnasi koshish per apni rai se nawaza.... Janaab, Koshish acchi thhi... Magar mujhe is poetry ko padhkar do cheezen mehsoos huiin... pehli aap apni spellings thheek kijiye... "peela dey moula"... this peela stands for yellow... aapko likhna chaahiye.... "Pilaa de moula"... Main itna koi shayar to nahi hun but koshish ker raha hun ke kuch achcha aur sahi likh sakuN haan speling mistake to mujhse bahut hote hai jaise aap mera takhallus hi dekh ker samjh sakte hai ke kwahish ke speling mein kitni mistake hai... main aapki spel mistake ki baat se agry huN....... Doosra kucch misron me yun laga jaise ke rhyme baithane ke liye aapne kucch bhi istemaal kar liya... "jism se ruh ko hila de maula..." Aisa kucch maine pehle nahin sunaa... Pulkit jii agar har baat suni sunayi hi hui to phir naya kahan se aayenga...  Aur shayari ke madhayam se hi nayi kalpana ko janam milta hai... "Jism se ruh ko hila dey moula" ke meanings waise koi hard to nahi hai agar aap nahi samjhe hai to main tafil de deta hun...... Jism se agr ruh hil jaye to kya hoga...... InsaaN khallas.. Yehi tark hai bure kaam karne walon ke liye meri soch mein aisa hi hona chahiye... isliye aisa likha hai... Aur haan...Capital letters sirf shayri ko khoobsuurat banaane ke liye mat kijiye... inse tallaffuz bithhay jaata hai...bayaani aur bayaaNi me fark hai... Haan is baat se to main abtak anjaan hun ke capital letters ka istemal kyun hota hai.. aapne theek kaha ke main apni writting khoobsurat dikhane ke liye hi use karta hun.. Insah Allah koshish karunga samjhne kii aur sikhane kii....... These were just my thoughts... you may not approve of it... koshsih karte rahiye... accha likhte hain....likhte rahiye... apna kahayal rakhiye... shukriya aapne apni kimti rai se nawaza......... Koshish karunga aapko bhi mera likha pasand aaye.......... aate rahiye aur apni rai se nawazte rahiye... Khush rahiye aap bhi apna khayal rakhiye... Khuda hafez..
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(#21)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,849
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 32
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4th July 2009, 08:47 PM
Bohat khoob Khwaish Jee......
Yeh andhe hain jab tak na haq dekhe In andho ko ab to nigaah de maula.. -SG- Par tujhe bevafa bhi kehna achcha nahi lagta... Mob.: +971 501297654
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(#22)
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Humanity
Offline
Posts: 6,227
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 42
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5th July 2009, 07:13 PM
Dost,
Aap ne kaha... main itna bada koi shayar nahin... Badha shaayar to yahaan koi bhi nahin... sabhi seekh rahe hain...magar aap me hunar hai... isiliye maine apni raay di.. Likhte raho... apna khayal rakho Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai |
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(#23)
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Swati
Offline
Posts: 2
Join Date: Jun 2009
Rep Power: 0
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5th July 2009, 09:32 PM
Quote:
Really commendable efforts! keeping posting!! |
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(#24)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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6th July 2009, 03:24 PM
Quote:
Thanks for appriciate my post.... Mujhe khushi hui ke mere kalam ne aapko shayari web site se judya hai... Hope you ll came regular and encourrge us and also share your post's with us... Well come to SDC....... I am ure you ll enjoy here.. for long time... Keep visiting... Keep smiling.. God bless you...
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(#25)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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10th October 2009, 06:15 PM
Quote:
Aapki yaad aagayi aaj and sorry for late reply......... aapka sher beshkimti hai........ main isko mukammal gazla mein dekhana chahunga... aate rahiye.. Khush rahiye.. Khuda hafez.. Quote:
aapne mere hunar ko saraha aur raah batayi iska main tahe dil se mamnoon huN... Ab yeh baat aur hai ke aapke aur mere khayal match nahi kar paye...... Wel agar aapko meri baaton ka bura laga ho to main mazarrat chahta huN sahab.... Aage bhi aapka saath milta rahe yehi dua...... aap bhi apna khayal rakhiye.. Khush rahiye.. Khuda Hafez...
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