Rahnuma hi rahzan nazar ..............

[Adil]

Aadaab doston,
apni taleemi masroofiyaat ke baais bazm main hazir nahin ho pa
raha ....
aaj aapki khidmat main apni ek taaza tehreer hazir karne ki
jasaarat kar raha hoon...ummed karta hoon pasand
farmayeinge......
mashwaraat se zuroor nawaziyega,
mulahiza farmayein....

"Rahnuma hi rahzan nazar aate hain aaj,
Muhafiz hi qatil nazar aate hain aaj.

Shikayat teergi se hargiz nahin mujhe,
Dost kyon aghyaar nazar aate hain aaj.

Wafaa ka pairaahan kisi ke paas nahin,
Libaas-e-jafa main log nazar aate hain aaj.

Husn bebaak bohat hua hai ab to,
Hassen saare qatil nazar aate hain aaj.

Unke aane par baras pade hain phool,
Aansoo jo aankh se nazar aate hain aaj.

Farq-e-dushman-o-dost shayad raha nahin mujhe,
Chehre saare raqeeb nazar aate hain aaj.

matla arz kar raha hoon tawajjoh choonga.....

Aman ki ummeed ab bhi tujhe hai 'Adil'
Har haath main khanjar nazar aate hain aaj."

mashwaraat ka muntazir,mukhlis
Adil

[Sharaabi]

Janaab Adil saahab,

aapke lafzoN ki gehraaii ne dil ko hilaa kar rakh diya.
apni raa'ey sunaane se pehle aapko bataata huuN ki maiN na hi koii ustaad huuN, aur na hi aapke jazbaatoN ko thes paauNchaana mera maqsat.

iska wazan kaii kaii ajeeb lagaa, magar galti sirf ek dikhii.

1. Aapne raadeef ka sahii isthimaal kiya hai, magar dost - is ghazal meiN koii kaafiyaa nazar nahiiN aaya.

"Rahnuma hi rahzan nazar aate hain aaj,
Qaatil ke makhzan nazar aate hain aaj. (makhzan = warehouse/dukaan)"
«-- aapko behtar samjhaane ke liye maine aap hi ka 'maqta' isthemaal kiya hai.
ab zara ghaur ki jiye in do lafzoN pe -- "Rahzan" ohr "Makhzan" (words which have similar sounding pattern, or simply said - rhyming words).

samjhaana thoDa mushkil lag raha hai dost, ohr upar se thoDi si sharaab pii hui hai. aapke liye achcha hoga agar aap "Shayri-e-dard" ke section meiN "maikasH" saahab ki post paDeN to..
http://www.shayri.com/forums/showthr...&threadid=2125

saath meiN maiN parveen saahab se guzaarish karta huuN ki jab bhi waqt mileN to idhar thoDe lafz baaNTe..

agar kuch galat kaha to gustaakhii maaf ki jiye.

likhte rahiye,
aman