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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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Bhrastachar.....!! -
15th June 2010, 02:12 AM
Ab to waqt hi nahiN mil pata kavitaayeN likhne ka par kuch puraane pannoN me mil gaya mujhe to socha likh hi daalun kya pata kisi ko ahchi hi lag jaaye,gar kisi ki baahvnaoN ya soch pe ye kavita kataksh kare to maafi ka talabgaar rahuNga.....!!
mera janam
kisi aspatal ya
prashav grih me nahiN,
balki samaj ki
oopri manjil mein
hua tha.
mera laalan paalan
kisi maa ne nahi
balki samaj ki
beechwali manjil ne
kiya tha.
main
ab tandurust aur
jawan hoon.
mera vichran sthal
neechli manjil se
oopari manjil tak faila hua hai
meri maan aur maryadaa
aakash choom rahi hai.
log bhagwan ke bina
reh sakte hain,par
mere bina nahi.
Meri pahuNch,
panditoN ki shikhaoN,
aur mullaoN ki dadhiyon me,
samaan roop se hai.
mai saapekch hoon
dharm nirpekch hoon
meri gandh lagte he
khushali fail jati hai
aur jahan mein nahi hota
wahan badhali fail jati hai.
main yug ki pukar hoon
samay ki dhaar hoon
najuk sukumar hoon
desh ka bharshtachar hoon.
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Webeater
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Posts: 716
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bathinda-Punjab-India
Rep Power: 20
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15th June 2010, 03:23 AM
bhai, auron ka toh pata nahin, par mujhe achi lagi.
har kahin bhrastachar naach raha hai
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
Offline
Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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15th June 2010, 03:47 AM
jaan kar khushi hui bandhu ki kisi ne sachhai ko dekhne aur usme haami bharne ki himmat ki,waise lagta hai ki aapko kavitaaoN aur tasveeron dono ka kafi tagda shauk hai...!!
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Webeater
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Posts: 716
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bathinda-Punjab-India
Rep Power: 20
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15th June 2010, 04:25 AM
kuch khaas nahin. bas yunhi..............
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
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15th June 2010, 04:36 AM
chaliye maan li aapki baat.....!!
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Banned
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15th June 2010, 10:04 AM
great thoughts kalpana ki unchi udan ka behtreen namoona well done
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
Offline
Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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15th June 2010, 11:37 AM
mere khayal se aapka naam praveen hi hoga kyuNki aapne banda likh rakha hai...[:P],
jaan kar behad khushi hui janab ki aapko humara likha pasand aya umeed karta huN ki aapka saath aage bhi yuNhi bana rahega....!!
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Aapki dost
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Posts: 7,325
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 57
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16th June 2010, 04:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ghayal_shayar
Ab to waqt hi nahiN mil pata kavitaayeN likhne ka par kuch puraane pannoN me mil gaya mujhe to socha likh hi daalun kya pata kisi ko ahchi hi lag jaaye,gar kisi ki baahvnaoN ya soch pe ye kavita kataksh kare to maafi ka talabgaar rahuNga.....!!
mera janam
kisi aspatal ya
prashav grih me nahiN,
balki samaj ki
oopri manjil mein
hua tha.
mera laalan paalan
kisi maa ne nahi
balki samaj ki
beechwali manjil ne
kiya tha.
main
ab tandurust aur
jawan hoon.
mera vichran sthal
neechli manjil se
oopari manjil tak faila hua hai
meri maan aur maryadaa
aakash choom rahi hai.
log bhagwan ke bina
reh sakte hain,par
mere bina nahi.
Meri pahuNch,
panditoN ki shikhaoN,
aur mullaoN ki dadhiyon me,
samaan roop se hai.
mai saapekch hoon
dharm nirpekch hoon
meri gandh lagte he
khushali fail jati hai
aur jahan mein nahi hota
wahan badhali fail jati hai.
main yug ki pukar hoon
samay ki dhaar hoon
najuk sukumar hoon
desh ka bharshtachar hoon.
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Pehle 3 stanzas padhe tou lagaa tha ke shayed aap apne hi baare me baat kar rahe haiN...phir baad ke 3 stanzas padhe tou laga ke yeh kya hogaya Lucky ji ko....akhiri stanza me puuri baat samajh aayi, ...phir dubaara padha maine..
Just 2 words..."Its good."........keep writing...
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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17th June 2010, 12:18 PM
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Aapki dost
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Rep Power: 57
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17th June 2010, 12:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ghayal_shayar
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Aap forum ki baat kar rahe haiN, maiN kisi thread kisi post ko nahi chhodti janaab, ab kya kareiN Zimmedari li hai, nibhani tou padegi........
Zainy
PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...
Nm
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
Offline
Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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17th June 2010, 12:34 PM
isiliye kehta huN aisi zimmedariyaaN bekaar haiN,apne kaam se fursat milti hai to mushkil se a paate haiN uske bad fir yahaaN v nibhayeN, na re baba na, kuch forum walon ne mujhe v kaha tha, par bhaiya hum aise hi ahche, pata nahin aap itna aur vo v itne waqt se kaise manage kar rahi haiN...?? Hats off....!!
Aapka GHAYAL...!!
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Registered User
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Posts: 337
Join Date: Nov 2009
Rep Power: 24
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17th June 2010, 04:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ghayal_shayar
Ab to waqt hi nahiN mil pata kavitaayeN likhne ka par kuch puraane pannoN me mil gaya mujhe to socha likh hi daalun kya pata kisi ko ahchi hi lag jaaye,gar kisi ki baahvnaoN ya soch pe ye kavita kataksh kare to maafi ka talabgaar rahuNga.....!!
mera janam
kisi aspatal ya
prashav grih me nahiN,
balki samaj ki
oopri manjil mein
hua tha.
mera laalan paalan
kisi maa ne nahi
balki samaj ki
beechwali manjil ne
kiya tha.
main
ab tandurust aur
jawan hoon.
mera vichran sthal
neechli manjil se
oopari manjil tak faila hua hai
meri maan aur maryadaa
aakash choom rahi hai.
log bhagwan ke bina
reh sakte hain,par
mere bina nahi.
Meri pahuNch,
panditoN ki shikhaoN,
aur mullaoN ki dadhiyon me,
samaan roop se hai.
mai saapekch hoon
dharm nirpekch hoon
meri gandh lagte he
khushali fail jati hai
aur jahan mein nahi hota
wahan badhali fail jati hai.
main yug ki pukar hoon
samay ki dhaar hoon
najuk sukumar hoon
desh ka bharshtachar hoon.
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bahut hi acha likha
sabd hi nahi kya kahu ek hi sabd me sari daad koi jabab nahi ish rachana ka
bahut dino baad yesa hua ki bar bar padhi
yesa sunder chitran kiya apane
aap bahut hi acha likhate he
mera vichran sthal
neechli manjil se
oopari manjil tak faila hua hai
meri maan aur maryadaa
aakash choom rahi hai.
bahut hi acha
log bhagwan ke bina
reh sakte hain,par
mere bina nahi.
Meri pahuNch,
panditoN ki shikhaoN,
aur mullaoN ki dadhiyon me,
samaan roop se hai.
itana acha likha
mai saapekch hoon
dharm nirpekch hoon
meri gandh lagte he
khushali fail jati hai
aur jahan mein nahi hota
wahan badhali fail jati hai.
kya sunder chitran he
desh ka bharshtachar h
main yug ki pukar hoon
samay ki dhaar hoon
najuk sukumar hoon
likhate rahe
apki rachanao ka intzar rahega
.
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
Offline
Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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17th June 2010, 06:01 PM
shakuntala ji,
sundarta likhne wale ke chitran me nahin balki padhne waloN ki samajh aur aNkhoN me hota hai, likhne walo to apni soch aur kalpanaaoN ko lafzoN ka roop de det hai,par padhne wala hi hai jo use ahcha ya bura ya fir kaargar banata hai...!!
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Registered User
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Posts: 748
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: new york U.S.A.
Rep Power: 28
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18th June 2010, 06:15 AM
Ghayal-shayar ji
dil ko chhu lene wali hai yeh rachna..................................
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Anshumali
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Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
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20th June 2010, 05:06 AM
mai saapekch hoon
dharm nirpekch hoon
meri gandh lagte he
khushali fail jati hai
aur jahan mein nahi hota
wahan badhali fail jati hai.
main yug ki pukar hoon
samay ki dhaar hoon
najuk sukumar hoon
desh ka bharshtachar hoon.
Lucky Ji........aapka yeh roop bhi zabardast raha....kavivar sahab !
kavita bhi aapne bahut asardaar likhi hai........aakhir ki panktiya qaafi prabhaav chhodhti nazar aai......mujhe bahut pasand aaya.....aapka kavita paath........
aainda aur bhi rachnaayen...post kariyega....khush rahen...
apna khayal rakhen...
duaaon ke saath.....
YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...
Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...
---Naresh Mehra----
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volunteer
Offline
Posts: 723
Join Date: May 2010
Location: chandigarh
Rep Power: 24
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20th June 2010, 05:27 PM
[QUOTE=ghayal_shayar;396361]Ab to waqt hi nahiN mil pata kavitaayeN likhne ka par kuch puraane pannoN me mil gaya mujhe to socha likh hi daalun kya pata kisi ko ahchi hi lag jaaye,gar kisi ki baahvnaoN ya soch pe ye kavita kataksh kare to maafi ka talabgaar rahuNga.....!!
mera janam
kisi aspatal ya
prashav grih me nahiN,
balki samaj ki
oopri manjil mein
hua tha.
mera laalan paalan
kisi maa ne nahi
balki samaj ki
beechwali manjil ne
kiya tha.
main
ab tandurust aur
jawan hoon.
mera vichran sthal
neechli manjil se
oopari manjil tak faila hua hai
meri maan aur maryadaa
aakash choom rahi hai.
log bhagwan ke bina
reh sakte hain,par
mere bina nahi.
Meri pahuNch,
panditoN ki shikhaoN,
aur mullaoN ki dadhiyon me,
samaan roop se hai.
mai saapekch hoon
dharm nirpekch hoon
meri gandh lagte he
khushali fail jati hai
aur jahan mein nahi hota
wahan badhali fail jati hai.
aapka ye khyal bahut hee psand aaya dad kbool kijiye or khush rahain
Last edited by Rashmi sharma; 20th June 2010 at 05:30 PM..
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
Offline
Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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23rd June 2010, 11:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rajinderseep
Ghayal-shayar ji
dil ko chhu lene wali hai yeh rachna..................................
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rajinder sahab aapko pasand aaye ye chand adne alfaaz jaan kar behad khushi hui....!!
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
Offline
Posts: 5,535
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost In The Cobwebs Of Mah Mind...!!
Rep Power: 48
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23rd June 2010, 11:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by naresh_mehra110
mai saapekch hoon
dharm nirpekch hoon
meri gandh lagte he
khushali fail jati hai
aur jahan mein nahi hota
wahan badhali fail jati hai.
main yug ki pukar hoon
samay ki dhaar hoon
najuk sukumar hoon
desh ka bharshtachar hoon.
Lucky Ji........aapka yeh roop bhi zabardast raha....kavivar sahab !
kavita bhi aapne bahut asardaar likhi hai........aakhir ki panktiya qaafi prabhaav chhodhti nazar aai......mujhe bahut pasand aaya.....aapka kavita paath........
aainda aur bhi rachnaayen...post kariyega....khush rahen...
apna khayal rakhen...
duaaon ke saath.....
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Naresh ji pranaam,
ye to humari khushnaseebi hai ki aapne hume pasand kiya bas yahi dua rahegi ki ap aage v hume yuNHi padhne ki jehmiyat uthaate raheN...!!
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