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joke of the day |
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(#41)
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Location: Khariar, Odisha
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joke of the day -
16th April 2008, 04:45 PM
EHSAAN QURAISI
Ek din, main Delhi pahuncha, Station pe ek coolie se bahar jane ka rasta poochha. Coolie ne kaha: "Bahar jaake poochho." Maine khud hi rasta dhundh liya, Bahar jaake taxiwale se poochhaa: "Bhai saab Lal Kile ka kitna loge?" Jawab mila: "Bechna nahi hai." Taxi chhod, maine bus pakad li, Conductor se poochhaa: "Ji, kya mein cigarette pi sakta hoon?" Wo gurrra kar bola: "Hargiz nahi, yahaan cigarette pina mana hai." Maine kaha: "Par wo janaab to pi rahe hai!" Phir se gurrrraya: "Usne mujhse poochhaa nahi hai." Lal Kile pahucha, hotel gaya. Manager se kaha: "Mujhe room chahiye, saatvi manzil pe." Manager ne kaha: "Rahane ke liye ya koodne ke liye?" Room pahucha, waiter se kaha: "Ek paani ka gilaas milega?" Usne jawab diya: "Nahi saahab, yahan to saare kaanch ke milte hain." Hotel se nikla, dost ke ghar jaane ke liye, Raste me ek sahab se poochhaa: "Janab, ye sadak kahaan ko jaati hai?" Janab hans kar bole: "Peechhle bees saal se dekh raha hoon, Yahi padi hai... kahin nahin jaati." Dost ke ghar pahucha, to mujhe dekhte hi chownk pada, Usne poochha: "Kaise aana hua?" Ab tak to mujhe bhi aadat pad gayi thi, Maine bhi jawab diya: "Train se." Meri aaobhagat karne ke liye dost ne apni biwi se kaha: "Areeee sunti ho... mera dost pehli baar ghar aaya hai, use kuch taja taja khilao." Sunte hi bhabhiji ne ghar ki sari khidkiya aur darwaje khol diye. Kaha: "Taji hawa kha lijiye." Dost ne phir se baday pyar se biwi se kaha: "Areeee sunti ho, inhe jara apna chalis saal purana achar to dikhana." Bhabiji ek baatli me rakha aachar le aayi. Maine bhi apnapan dikhate hue bhabiji se kaha: "Bhabhiji, aachar sirf dikhayengi, chakhayengi nahi?" Bhabiji ne taak jawab diya: "Yuhi agar sab ko chakhati To aachar chalis saal purana kaise hota?" Thodi der baad dekha, bhabiji apne potey ko sula rah thi, Saath me lori bhi ga rahi thi: " Diploma so ja, diploma so ja." Lori soon mein hairan hua aur dost se poochha: "Yaar, ye diploma kya hai?" Dost ne jawab diya: "Mere grandson ka naam, Beti bambai gayi thi, diploma lene ke liye Aur saath mein ise le aayi, Isiliye hamne iska naam Diploma rakh diya." Phir maine poochhaa: "Aajkal tumhari beti kya kar rahi hai?" Dost ne jawab diya: "Bambai gayi hai, degree lene ke liye |
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(#42)
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Yaadon ka!
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: gujarat-India
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16th April 2008, 05:23 PM
hahahahhahha
 Jaane kya samjhi main useN Faasla nazar aaya....Kuch kadmon ke saath se |
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(#43)
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new-bee
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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16th April 2008, 05:46 PM
hahaha hehehe hohoho yuN k majaa aa gayaa joke kaa hahaha hehehe hohoho
 tu aur aaraa'ish-e-Kham-e-kaakul maiN aur andesha_haa-e-dur o daraaz |
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(#44)
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Registered User
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Location: Khariar, Odisha
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20th April 2008, 02:24 PM
Ek Gadha:- Yaar mera malik mujhe bahut maarta hai.
Dusara Gadha:- To tu bhag kyu nahi jata. Pehla Gadha:- Bhag to jata par yahan future bada bright hai ... malik ki khoobsurat beti jab shararat karti hai to malik kahta hai, "Teri shaadi gadhe se kar dunga...!" Bas isi ummeed me baitha hoon........ |
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(#45)
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Banned
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Location: switzerland
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21st April 2008, 12:21 AM
ha ha ha ha ha
Quote:
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(#46)
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Registered User
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Location: DUBAI
Rep Power: 18
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8th May 2008, 07:20 AM
Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives. 1st: How yours look like? 2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours? 1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!! men are men . . .  WAKE UP...!  Love, SIMRAN |
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(#47)
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ek dost
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: gujarat (india)
Rep Power: 34
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8th May 2008, 09:59 AM
Tabyat thik nahi thi,
Tantrik ko dikhaya, Tantrik ne kaha tum par bhutka saya hai, Kisi ghor papi ko msg karo tum thik ho jaoge. AankheN khuleeN to jaag uTheeN hasrateN tamaam Uss ko bhi kho diyaa jissay paya thaa khwaab mein
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(#48)
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Registered User
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Location: DUBAI
Rep Power: 18
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10th May 2008, 12:39 AM
JOKE OF THE DAY Ek aadmi ek qabr par baitha ro raha hotha hai. KYon gaye tum ? Kyon ? mujhe chhod kar ! Aisa kyon kiya tumne ? ( vo bahuth zor zor se ro raha tha ) ek aadmi aath hai aur poochtha hai ~! KAun the ? aapke pitha ? he says Nahin . Aapki ma ? he says nahin . Tho phir kaun ? He says mere biwi ke pehle Pathi WAKE UP...! Love, SIMRAN |
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(#49)
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Registered User
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Location: DUBAI
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10th May 2008, 01:36 PM
JOKE OF THE DAY Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news? Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday. WAKE UP...! Love, SIMRAN |
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(#50)
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Registered User
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Rep Power: 33
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17th May 2008, 10:20 PM
Ek Sardar ne Pathan ki beti ka rishta manga
pathan ne sardar ko bahut mara maar kha ker sardar utha or apny kapdy jharty howy Pathan se Bola "Fir Khan Sahab Mein Inkaar samjhon"  |
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(#51)
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Registered User
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Location: In Allah's Shelter
Rep Power: 17
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18th May 2008, 03:21 AM
Quote:
Safar lamba hai ~ dost banate rahiye, Dil mile na mile ~ haath badate rahiye, Taj na banaiye costly padega, Har taraf Mumtaj banate rahiye. as d name says it all- I-M-POSSIBLE ! & ofcourse Its not the end of the road dat u c ahead, Its just a bend dat u have to pass ! |
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(#52)
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Registered User
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: karachi
Rep Power: 30
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18th May 2008, 02:09 PM
Frog : pathan ka dimagh nahi hota.
Pathan: hota hai Frog: nahi hota, nahi hota (n jumps in the water) Pathan : lo ismain khudkushi kerne wali kia baat thi?? apne ander se pash pash hoon main zaaat hai aetbaar e zaaat nahin ab to main khud bhi apne saath nahin |
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(#53)
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Registered User
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Posts: 398
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Location: In Allah's Shelter
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18th May 2008, 05:12 PM
Quote:
Waah Di...Waah hehehehehhehe hahahahhaahha hehehehehhe hahahahaha hehehehe hahahhah as d name says it all- I-M-POSSIBLE ! & ofcourse Its not the end of the road dat u c ahead, Its just a bend dat u have to pass ! |
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(#54)
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Registered User
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Posts: 4,715
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Khariar, Odisha
Rep Power: 0
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24th May 2008, 07:19 PM
ek baar ek aadami bazar mein dimaag lene gaya,
ek brahman se poochha dimaag dega woh bolaa mil jayega lekin 10000/- rupaey ka doonga, woh aadmi usko chhod aagay chala ek punjabi mila aur usnay phir poocha dimaag millayga ,punjabi bola 20000/- lageyga woh aadmi aagay gaya to ek baaniya mila usnay phir wahi sawaal poochha,baaniya bola 40000/- lageyga aakhree mein usko ek jat mila , usney phir wohi sawaal kiya,jat bolaya miljayga per ek lakh[1,00,000] lageyga woh aadmi jhatka khaa ke bola yaar koi to 10000/-ka,koi 20000 kaaur koi 40000 ka per tera to sabse mahanga se aisa ismay ke hai..... jat bolya yaar sabnay to apna dimaag ka istemaal kiya hai par mera bina istemaal kiya huuaa demaagh hai[sealed n completly unused].... |
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(#55)
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Registered User
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Posts: 398
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In Allah's Shelter
Rep Power: 17
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31st May 2008, 06:13 PM
Caller : I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator : Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone . You can speak to me .Who is this? Caller: I`m Sam Wan.And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It`s urgent. Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what`s this urgent matter about? Caller: Well .... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident.Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.Right now , A very Wan is on the way to the hospital. Operator: Look, if no one is injured and no one was sent to the hospital , then the accident isn`t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but i don`t have time for this! Caller : You are so rude! Who are you? Operator : I`m Saw Ree. Caller: Yes you should be sorry. Now you give me your name Operator: That`s what i said. I`m Saw Ree... as d name says it all- I-M-POSSIBLE ! & ofcourse Its not the end of the road dat u c ahead, Its just a bend dat u have to pass ! |
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I Like.......... |
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(#56)
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Registered User
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Join Date: Sep 2007
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I Like.......... -
31st May 2008, 06:24 PM
saNaash!!!
aik dum zaberdast .................sach mein mujhy bahut hansi aai .....bahut shukriya share kerny ka Mujeeb |
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(#57)
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Yaadon ka!
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Posts: 6,801
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: gujarat-India
Rep Power: 45
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31st May 2008, 07:22 PM
heeee ..nice one....................sanash
Jaane kya samjhi main useN Faasla nazar aaya....Kuch kadmon ke saath se |
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(#58)
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Registered User
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Posts: 398
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In Allah's Shelter
Rep Power: 17
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31st May 2008, 10:59 PM
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." as d name says it all- I-M-POSSIBLE ! & ofcourse Its not the end of the road dat u c ahead, Its just a bend dat u have to pass ! |
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(#59)
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Registered User
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Rep Power: 33
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23rd June 2008, 07:30 PM
aik sher arz ker raha hon ....
Sadak jaati hai sabza zaar se bakar mandi talak ..... Question ....arrre yeh pehla misra itna chota kiyon hai ???? Answer .... sadak ki lambai to dekho ...... |
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(#60)
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..::||KinG||::..
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Posts: 72
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Unknown!
Rep Power: 16
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24th June 2008, 10:24 AM
ThanQ For Sharing These Jokes Friends...
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(#61)
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..::||KinG||::..
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Location: Unknown!
Rep Power: 16
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24th June 2008, 10:25 AM
Ek aadmi ki wife ka rang kaala thha, ek din vo peeli saree pehenke apne pathi se puchi, main kaisi lag rahi hoon? hus:Jaise koyla ki factory mein aag lagi ho.
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(#62)
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..::||KinG||::..
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Posts: 72
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Unknown!
Rep Power: 16
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24th June 2008, 10:30 AM
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents. |
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(#63)
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..::||KinG||::..
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Posts: 72
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Unknown!
Rep Power: 16
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24th June 2008, 10:31 AM
Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.
A: Because Doctor has advised him: ‘Aaj Light Khana hai!’ |
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(#64)
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..::||KinG||::..
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Posts: 72
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Unknown!
Rep Power: 16
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24th June 2008, 10:32 AM
Santa khali kadahi me chammach chala raha tha..
Banta - Kya bana rahe ho Santa - BEWAKOOF bana raha hoon..  |
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(#65)
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..::||KinG||::..
Offline
Posts: 72
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Unknown!
Rep Power: 16
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24th June 2008, 10:34 AM
Quote:
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(#66)
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..::||KinG||::..
Offline
Posts: 72
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Unknown!
Rep Power: 16
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24th June 2008, 10:36 AM
Quote:
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(#67)
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Registered User
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24th June 2008, 11:09 AM
Hum Karte Hain Tum Se Pyar Tum Se Hi Pyar Karenge
Aaj Ye Sari Duniya K Samne Iqraar Karenge Kabhi To Jhalak Do Hamari In Tarasti Nighaon Ko Phir Shaam O Saher Tumhara Hi Deedar Karenge :d:c |
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(#68)
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Registered User
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24th June 2008, 11:12 AM
Mujh Ko Rula Kar Vo Bhi Roya To Hoga
Mooh Aansuon Se Usne Bhi Dhoya To Hoga Agar Na Kiya Hai Hasil Kuch Humne Pyar Mein Kuch Na Kuch Usne Bhi Khoya To Hoga |
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(#69)
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Registered User
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24th June 2008, 11:16 AM
“Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
 _)(:>:<so be a good friend |
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(#70)
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Registered User
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24th June 2008, 11:17 AM
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
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(#71)
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..::||KinG||::..
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Posts: 72
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Unknown!
Rep Power: 16
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24th June 2008, 02:40 PM
Nice Jokes Danish....
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(#72)
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Aapki dost
Offline
Posts: 7,325
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 56
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24th June 2008, 05:03 PM
hahaha hey people give it a reading, i m sure you will laugh, just
like i m laughing. hahaha Ek din, main Delhi pahuncha, Station pe ek coolie se bahar jane ka rasta pooncha, Coolie ne kaha "bahar jaake poocho." Maine khud hi rasta doondh liya, Bahar jaake taxiwale se pooncha, "bhai saab Aagre ka kitna loge?" jawab mila, "bechna nahi hai.." Taxi chod, maine bus pakad li, conductor se pooncha, "ji. kya mein cigarette pi sakta hoon?" wo gurrra kar bola, "hargiz nahi, yaha cigarette pina mana hai." Maine kaha, "par wo janab to pi rahe hai!" Phir se gurrrraya, " usne mujhse pooncha nahi hai." Aagre pahucha, hotel gaya. Manager se kaha, " mujhe room chahiye, satve manzil pe." Manager ne kaha, "rahane ke liye ya koodne ke liye?" Room pahucha, waiter se kaha, "ek paani ka gilas milega."! Usne jawab diya, " nahi sahab, yaha to saare kanch ke milte hai." Hotel se nikla dost ke ghar jaane ke liye, Raste me ek sahab se pooncha, "janab, ye sadak kaha ko jaati hai?" Janab hans kar bole, " peechle bees saal se dekh rahan hoon, yahi padi hai....kahin nahin jaati" Dost ke ghar pahucha, to mujhe dekhte hi chownk pada Usne poocha, "kaise aana hua?" Ab tak to mujhe bhi aadat pad gayi thi, Maine bhi jawab diya, "Train se.." Meri aaobhagat karne ke liye dost ne apni biwi se kaha, "areeee sunti ho... mera dost pehli baar ghar aaya hai, uuse kuch taja taja khilao.. " sunte hi bhabhiji ne ghar ki sari khidkiya aur darwaje khol diye. Kaha, "taji hawa kha lijiye." Dostne phir se badi pyar se biwi se kaha, "areee sunti ho.! ..inhe jara apna chalis saal purana aachar to dikhna." Bhaiji ek batli me rakha aachar le aayi, Main bhi apnapan dikhate hue bhabiji se kaha, "bhahiji, aachar sirf dikhayengi, chakhayengi nahi....?" Bhabji ne taak jawab diya, "yuhiagar sab ko chakhati to aachar chalis saal purana kaise hota..?" Thodi der baad dekha, bhabiji apne grandson ko soola rahi thi, aath me lori bhi ga rahi thi, "diploma so ja, diploma so ja." Lori soon mein hairan hua aur dost se poocha, "yaar ye diploma kya hai?" Dost ne jawab diya, "mere grandson ka naam, Beti bambai gayi thi, diploma lene ke liye aur saath mein ise le aayi, isiliye hamne iska naam diploma rakh diya." Phir maine pooncha, "aajkal tumhari beti kya kar rahi hai?" Dost ne jawab diya, "bambai gayi! hai, degree lene ke liye" |
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pappu paas kaise hoga ? |
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(#74)
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Registered User
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Posts: 398
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In Allah's Shelter
Rep Power: 17
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pappu paas kaise hoga ? -
26th June 2008, 09:21 PM
JOKE for the day It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365' days. Typical academic year for a student: 1. Sundays- 52 Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313. 2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Days left 263. 3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141. 4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126. 5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)- means 30days. Days left 96. 6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days. Days left 81. 7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46. 8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days. 9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3. 10.Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day left. 11. That 1 day is your birthday. How can you study on that day Balance = 0 "Then how can a student pass " as d name says it all- I-M-POSSIBLE ! & ofcourse Its not the end of the road dat u c ahead, Its just a bend dat u have to pass ! |
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(#75)
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Aapki dost
Offline
Posts: 7,325
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 56
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6th July 2008, 06:14 PM
Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain!
Girl: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge? Boy: Bilkul nahi! Girl: To phir rehne do... ************************************************** **** Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta. He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga ************************************************** ******************* ********* ***** Agar aap bus pe chade... ya phir bus aap pe chade... dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai ************************************************** ******************* ******* A lady to another lady: Jab tera divorce huwa tha tab to ek hi baccha tha aur ab 3 kaise? She says: Woh kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate the... ************************************************** ******************* ******** An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha? Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum. ************************************************** ******************* ********* *********** Boy: Tum gaana bahut achcha gaate ho. Girl: Nahin, mein to sirf bathroom singer hoon. Boy: To bulaao na kabhi, mehfil jamaate hain. ************************************************** ******************* ********* ******* Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai? Executive (sar jhukate huwe): Nahin sir. Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho. ------------- |
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(#76)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,855
Join Date: Sep 2007
Rep Power: 33
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12th July 2008, 08:15 PM
Dozakh mein PCO k call rates:
UK. Rs.85/min.. USA. Rs.90/min, PAK. Rs.80/min INDIA. Rs.60/min, Dubai . Rs. 5 per hour.. Waja poochi to PCO wale ne bataya keh Dozah se Dubai local call parti hai ... |
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(#77)
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My Collection Only
Offline
Posts: 79
Join Date: Apr 2008
Rep Power: 17
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28th July 2008, 04:52 PM
Very Funny
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(#78)
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Yaadon ka!
Offline
Posts: 6,801
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: gujarat-India
Rep Power: 45
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28th July 2008, 04:56 PM
Quote:
:Jaane kya samjhi main useN Faasla nazar aaya....Kuch kadmon ke saath se |
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(#79)
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main shayar to nahin
Offline
Posts: 46
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Presently Cochin kerela
Rep Power: 0
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1st August 2008, 05:01 PM
Quote:
very funny mujeeb ji nice joke Kitni badi mazak hai ye zindagi ke sath Wo kaise Log the Ya Rub Jinhone Pa Liya Tujh ko Hume To Hogaya Dushwar Ek Insaan ka Milna s@L@uddinSuh@n... 
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(#80)
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Moderator
Offline
Posts: 15,199
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chandigarh (Mohali)
Rep Power: 63
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1st August 2008, 05:05 PM
Quote:
.....Sunita Thakur..... यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया ....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए... 
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