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khaaksaar ki ek aur ghazal |
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(#1)
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khaaksaar ki ek aur ghazal -
5th January 2006, 09:06 AM
is ghazal ko hamare yahaN ka roznama, "Munsif"(published from Hyd., India) ne qabil-e-isha'th samjha aur chunaN che Oct 2, 2005 ke shumare ke adabi safhe meiN aap ise payenge. Will be happy to learn of your responses:
ghazal ik nuqta-e-orooj ka naqsh-e-zawaal huN maazi jo apna bhool gaya maiN woh haal huN ghaafil huN apni zaat se, duniya se bekhabar ik vahm huN, gumaaN huN, khwaab-o-khayal huN taskeen-e-rooh-o-qalb ki haajat nahiN mujhe maiN beniyaaz-e-shewa-e-ehl-e-jamaal huN awaaz-e-khalq huN, jaras-e-haq ki huN sada maiN waqt ke zameer meiN chhubta sawaal huN tere karam se aarzoo-e-seem-o-zar nahiN maiN beniyaaz-e-hasrath-e-maal-o-manaal huN |
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(#2)
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9th January 2006, 12:25 AM
Bahut behtreen...
Urdu adab ki itni jaankaari nahin hai abhi ke aapki ghazal ki deserved tareef karr saku, bas itna hi kahoonga ke ik ik lafz ko gaur se para aur kai baar para aur har baar har misra kaano par sakoon se gira.. Likhte rahiye chal waha chal jahan tere jaise aur bhi hai... |
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shukriya |
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(#3)
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shukriya -
9th January 2006, 07:51 PM
daad-o-tahseen ke liye shukrguzaar huN...shayad mujhe kuchh mushkil alfaaz ke mataleeb sahal urdu meiN ya English meiN likhdena chahiye tha...khair, us waqt yeh sha'ur nahiN tha...pehla ya doosra post tha....soch raha tha ke tarjum dena users ke shayrfahami ki tauheen hogi...
thanks a lot khair andesh |
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Re: khaaksaar ki ek aur ghazal |
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(#4)
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Shayar
 
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Re: khaaksaar ki ek aur ghazal -
9th January 2006, 08:09 PM
Janab-e-daanish sahab
Mehfil mein aapko pehli baar paRha hai aur aapko der se sahiH Khushaamdeed kehta huuN. Aap jaise shora ki is bazm ko bohat zaruurat hai. Umeed hai aap yahaN hameN aise hi apni Khuubsuurat tKhleqat se nawazte raheNge. Aapki Ghazal bohat pasand aayee. Khaaskar ye do sher. awaaz-e-khalq huN, jaras-e-haq ki huN sada maiN waqt ke zameer meiN chhubta sawaal huN tere karam se aarzoo-e-seem-o-zar nahiN maiN beniyaaz-e-hasrath-e-maal-o-manaal huN Dili daad qubuul farmaayeN. Aur aise hi hameN litf-andoz karte raheN. Khaksaar Praveen manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi |
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shukriya |
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(#5)
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shukriya -
10th January 2006, 08:05 AM
tasleem janab
aapne paRhne ki zehmat farmaayi...nawaazish...is ghazal ke do aur shayr the jin ko maine yeh sochte hue post nahiN kiya, ke zabaaN is bazm ke aitabaar se shaayad saqeel ho. pesh-e-khidmat haiN yeh 2 shayr: tera wajood mehr-e-munnawar hai aur maiN tere hi aks-e-noor se maah-e-kamaal huN a'ada bhi mu'atarif meri mehr-o-wafa ke hain karta hai rashk jis pe falak woh misaal huN (a'ada=adu yani dushman ki jamah hai) daad-o-tahseen ke liye shukrguzaar huN...khaaksaar ki doosri ghazloN par bhi nazar-e-karam daleN aur azaadana izhaar-e-khayaal farmayeN... |
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(#6)
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ek shoonya
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11th January 2006, 04:50 PM
Daanish Ji,
Itni gehri Urdu se saji aapki ghazal ko poora tow nahin samajh paaya magar isse gunguna jaroor sakta hoon. Aapka dhanyavaad karna chahunga Sir, maiN waqt ke zameer meiN chhubta sawaal huN 
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shukriya |
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(#7)
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shukriya -
11th January 2006, 06:43 PM
tasleem janab
hosla afzai ke liye shukrguzaar huN...ghazal meiN jo alfaaz kuchh saqeel haiN un ke mataleeb likh diya huN...yeh kaam pehle karna chahiye tha...magar us waqt is baat ka ehsaas nahiN tha...khair, ek baar aur paRHne ki zehmat farmaiye: ik nuqta-e-orooj ka naqsh-e-zawaal huN maazi jo apna bhool gaya maiN woh haal huN (nuqta-e-orooj=point of climax, zenith, zawaal=opposite of orooj, maazi=past, haal=present) ghaafil huN apni zaat se, duniya se bekhabar ik vahm huN, gumaaN huN, khwaab-o-khayal huN taskeen-e-rooh-o-qalb ki haajat nahiN mujhe maiN beniyaaz-e-shewa-e-ehl-e-jamaal huN taskeen=comfort, qalb=heart, haajat=need, shewa-e-ehl-e-jamal=ways of the Beautiful) awaaz-e-khalq huN, jaras-e-haq ki huN sada maiN waqt ke zameer meiN chhubta sawaal huN (awaaz-e-khalq=voice of the people, jaras=bell, haq=truth) tere karam se aarzoo-e-seem-o-zar nahiN maiN beniyaaz-e-hasrath-e-maal-o-manaal huN seem=silver, zar=gold, hasrat-e-maal-o-manaal=desire for wealth and riches) |
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(#8)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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11th January 2006, 08:53 PM
janab aadaab,
kaafi umda kalaam likha hai aapne,urdu aadaab ki jaankari na hone ke karan aapke kalaam ko sahi tareef na de paya main.iske liye maafi ka talabdar hoon.par aapko padh kar behad khushi hui.umeed hai aapko padh kar hum jaise nausakhiyon ko bahut kuch seekhne ko milega.bas yunhi likhte rahiye aap. GHAYAL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#9)
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12th January 2006, 06:07 PM
Bahut khoob Daanish saahab....achchha laga parhkar ...
Mughal Samrat Bahadur Shah Zafar ki amar rachna yaad aa gayi.. Na kisi ki aaNkh ka noor hooN.. Na kisi ke dil ka karaar hooN... Jo kisi ke kaam na aa saka.. Mai wo ek must-e-gubaar hooN shukriya YooNhi likhte rahiyega. Chaand Anjaam sochkar, aksar khaamosh hi reh jaate haiN. - Chaand |
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shukriya |
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(#10)
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shukriya -
12th January 2006, 08:12 PM
tasleem janab
aap ne teenoN ghazleN paRHne ki zehmat farmayi aur bade hosla-afza kalmaat se nawaaza...inayat...yahi guzarish hai aap se ke parHne ki zehmat gavara kijiye aur izhaar-e-khayal kijiye khwa woh tanqeed hi kyoN na ho... basad khuloos khair andesh |
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(#11)
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12th January 2006, 09:25 PM
Daanish
bahut khub.... ab is se aage kuch nahi kah pa rahi kyunki taarif k liye koi bhi shabd likhungi to kam hai... daad kabul karna |
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shukriya |
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(#12)
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shukriya -
13th January 2006, 09:01 AM
Meenaji
tasleem daad-o-tahseen ke liye ehsaanmand huN... many thanks khair andesh |
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