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Phir se chandan ki tarah |
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(#1)
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Location: New Delhi
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Phir se chandan ki tarah -
4th August 2015, 02:16 PM
Phir se chandan ki tarah baad-e-sabaa ho jaaye ! Koi mausam ho tu aaye to jawaa ho jaaye !! Meri khuddar nigahon ka takaza dekho ! Tujhko dekhen to sukoon warna khafa ho jaaye !! Ishq to apna zanaza bhi utha lega khud ! Muntazir hoon ke tu is baar juda ho jaaye !! Phike padne lage alfaaz mere sheron ke ! Tum nawaazo to ghazal meri jawaaN ho jaaye !! Magar wo apni hi fitrat se hardam haar jaata hai !! (Pankaj Mishra 'Nawaab') |
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(#2)
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4th August 2015, 02:54 PM
Quote:
wahhhh Nawaab sahiib...kya khoobsurat gazal kahi hai aapne, sabhi sher aik se badkar aik hai....khoobsurat gazal ke liye mubarakbaad kabool kijiye.  .....Sunita Thakur..... यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया ....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए... 
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(#3)
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4th August 2015, 05:51 PM
Phike padne lage alfaaz mere sheron ke !
Tum nawaazo to ghazal meri jawaaN ho jaaye !! Waah! Bahut achcha likha hai pankaj jii.... Likhte rahein.... Aate rahein...... अर्ज मेरी एे खुदा क्या सुन सकेगा तू कभी आसमां को बस इसी इक आस में तकते रहे madhu.. |
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(#4)
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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4th August 2015, 07:32 PM
Quote:
Nawab saahab ko khaadim ka aadaab pahuche..... bahut dino baad aap tashreef laaye aur bazm ko apne kalaamon se raushan kar gaye.... aapne waaqai kaabile tareef likhaa hai magar kuch baaten main ye soch kar kahnaa chahungaa ke aapko isme koi buraa mahsoos na hogaa..... aur mahaz chand galtiyan jo nazar aatee hain sarsaree taur pe , unhe door kiyaa jae.... pahle sher me aapne likha..... Phir se chandan ki tarah baad-e-sabaa ho jaaye ! Koi mausam ho tu aaye to jawaa ho jaaye ! isme lafz jawaa kyaa hai wo meri samajh ke baahar hai kya aap is par roshnee daalenege ek baar.... jaisa ke mujhe lagta hai shayad aap lafz "jawaa.n" likhnaaa chah rahe hain.... magar jawaa.n lafz yahaan qaafiya pe nahi baithegaa... Ishq to apna zanaza bhi utha lega khud ! Muntazir hoon ke tu is baar juda ho jaaye !! zanaza koi lafz nahi hotaa bhai... its janaaza.... ise durust karwaa len... aakhri sher me aapne Phike padne lage alfaaz mere sheron ke ! Tum nawaazo to ghazal meri jawaaN ho jaaye !! jawaaN lafz bhi aapke qaafiye se mel nahi khaata.. ise bhii durust kar len ek baar dekh lijiyegaa.... janab main aapke kalaam ki bareekii na dekhte hue mahaz uuparee taur se jo baaten nazar aatee hain wahi bataane ki koshish ki hai, is ummeed ke sath ke aap naraaz na honge aur shayari ko durust karenge.... shukriya...... shaad.... |
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(#5)
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5th August 2015, 11:32 AM
Quote:
Bahut shukriya sunita ji !!!!!!!! Magar wo apni hi fitrat se hardam haar jaata hai !! (Pankaj Mishra 'Nawaab') |
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(#6)
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Location: New Delhi
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5th August 2015, 11:33 AM
Quote:
bahot shukriya madhu ji !!!!!!!!!thank u Magar wo apni hi fitrat se hardam haar jaata hai !! (Pankaj Mishra 'Nawaab') |
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(#7)
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Registered User
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Location: New Delhi
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5th August 2015, 11:56 AM
Quote:
Sameer sahab ko mera salaam !!!!!!!!!!!!! janaab aapki tawajjo mili....shukragujaar hoon....narazagi ki baat jehen se nikaal den aap....agar aapne kuch notice kiya hai to hamaare liye to important ho jaata hai ki uspar gaur kiya jaaye ........bas aapse ek shikayat hai ...jab bhi aap kuch corrections karne ko kehte hain to phir correct hone ke baad use dobara aapki tawajjo nahi mil paati(aur hame intzaar hota hai ki aap ke taqaze par khare utre ya nahi )......maine do teen kalaam me corrections kiye because u noticed them.....aur mistakes ke to bahut se reasons ho jaate hain janaab  .....is kalaam me kuch changes kare hain ......Dekhen jara.....ek sher replace kar diya hai hamne.....Phir se chandan ki tarah baad-e-sabaa ho jaaye ! Koi mausam ho tu aaye to nayaa ho jaaye !! Ab to betaab panaahon ki guzarish hai ye ! Teri khushboo meri saanson ki ridaa ho jaaye !! Ishq to apna janaaza bhi utha lega khud ! Muntazir hoon ke tu is baar judaa ho jaaye !! Phike padne lage alfaaz mere sheron ke ! Tum nawaazo to ghazal meri dua ho jaaye !! aapki salamati ki duaon ke saath......... Magar wo apni hi fitrat se hardam haar jaata hai !! (Pankaj Mishra 'Nawaab') |
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(#8)
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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5th August 2015, 12:46 PM
Quote:
bahut khoob bhai..... ek se badh kar ek sher nazar kiye hain aapne bazm ko... bahut si daad aur mubaaraken...... khamoshi ka matlab sahmatee bhi hotaa hai nawaab saahab..... khush rahiye... |
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