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Sawaal Jawaab! |
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(#1)
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Sawaal Jawaab! -
15th June 2014, 01:55 AM
Sawaal Jawaab!
DostoN yahaaN maiN ek naya thread shuru kar rahi huuN, jiska naam hai "Sawaal Jawaab" Is thread ko shuru karne ka maqsad yahi hai ke hum shayri ke mutalliq ek dusre ki madad kareiN. Shayri likhte waqt hum sabko kabhi na kabhi, koi na koi sawaal mann me aate haiN, aur hum jawaab yahaaN wahaaN talash karte haiN. Ab hum is thread per apne sawaal kiya karenge aur Sdc ke jis bhi member ko iska jawaab pata ho , wo jawaab de saktay haiN. Sawaal sirf shayri ke talluq se hi hone chahiye. Behr, urdu lafz ke matlab, ya sher ka matlab, kuch bhi chota ya bada shak o shuba kisre mirse ke talluq , kuch bhi shayri se juda sawaal aap yahaaN pooch sahte haiN.. Chaliye is thread ka aaghaz maiN hi karti huuN Mera sawaal: 1)Ek accha sher likhne ke liye kin baatoN ko dyaan me rakhna chahiye.. Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#2)
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15th June 2014, 09:39 AM
Bahut achcha aaghaaz hai.........reps ++++++
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(#3)
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15th June 2014, 07:19 PM
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Shukriyah Ufaq sahab!........................  Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#4)
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15th June 2014, 04:13 PM
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ab aapne 'sher' lafz istemaaal kiya hai to mai samjhta hu ye sawaal ghazalgoyi e dayre me hai , us dayre me simit ye reply kar raha hu. is sawaal se pahle ye sawaal ka jawaab dena hoga Ek SAHI sher likhne ke liye kin baatoN ko dyaan me rakhna chahiye.. ab is sawaal ko attempt karta hu mai...kyuki pahla sawaal subjecyive hai ..maine use pahle objective banaya hai...phir us pahle sawaal ko try karte hai sab. ek sahi sher ke liye ye zaruri hai. 1] ki sher har haalaat me metered ho, yani ki behrband ho. 2] grammar bilkul sahi ho . 3] sher bharti ke lafzo se aazaad ho. 4]sher ke lafz , usme darj jazbaat se zyada na bole ya chillayen. agla sawaal phir dekhta hu...baqi dosto se bhi guzarish hai ke apne opinion rakhe yaha , rai den. ki sahi sher kya hai..acccha ya kitne darje accha ki baat nahi philhaal, bus ek sahi sher kya hai. |
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(#5)
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15th June 2014, 07:21 PM
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Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#6)
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15th June 2014, 11:03 PM
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(#7)
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15th June 2014, 11:10 PM
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jo original sawaal hai uska jawaab to ek encyclopedia me bhi nahi poora hoga. so sawaal ko tod tod kar chota kar denge ... i think its a valid exercise...rest upto the people here. ek accha sher ke prequisites ko encapsulate karna ( chota arna), bahut aasaan kaam nahi. but i think it can still be done..as bullet points. dekhte hai agee... |
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(#8)
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16th June 2014, 05:55 AM
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(#9)
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Tere Intzaar Mein....
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16th June 2014, 11:34 AM
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bahut acchhi koshish ki hai aapne ........ umeed hai bahut kuch sikhane ko milegaa yahaN... mere aap sabhi se anurodh hai ki jahaN zarurat ho wahaN udaaharan(example) bhi de. hameN samjhne me aasaani hogi........ shukriyaa zaari apnaa safar rakhtaa huN !! ===========================  sharma.rajeev701@gmail.com https://www.facebook.com/rajeevsharmaraj111 http://www.rajeevsharmaraj.blogspot.com/ |
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(#10)
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18th June 2014, 10:41 AM
Quote:
6] Har ek sher meN kaafiye aur radeef (agar ho toh) sahii hone chaahiye. ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता 
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(#11)
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15th June 2014, 11:09 PM
Jaise ki zidd sahab ne kaha hai...accha sher baad me..pehle sahi sher ke baare me guftagu karte hain...
To pehle SAHI sher ke baare me hi bataiye.. Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#12)
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16th June 2014, 01:08 PM
I agree with Rajeev ji...please make this conversation easy one...so that everyone understands it...aap log examples bhi diya kareiN ..
We are still in nursery jii...........  Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#13)
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17th June 2014, 01:48 PM
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pehle toh, aapka bahot bahot shukriya ki yeh ek behtarin shuruaat kii hai aapne. Ek guzaarish hai ki iss thread ko sticky banaayaa jaaye aur aapki aur Rajeevji kii baat se bhii sehmat hooN... toh intezaar rahega, examples ka... khas kar, Zidd saab, aapkii 3rd aur 4th ponts pe... Ufaq saab jo kehna chahte haiN usska example maiN koshish karta hooN. Ufaq saab agar kuch galti ho toh muaafi ka arzmand rahoonga  Ufaq: sher ke dono misro me ek rabt (relation) hona chaahiye.. we do lakht kii surat na paida karta ho... ab usska udaaharan maiN ulta deta hooN niche ka sher galat hoga.. teree aankheN tere har gham kii baateN keh rahi hai aaj mere sine meN yeh kaisee agan jalne lagi hai aaj ab upar ke sher ko dekhenge, toh dono misro meN koee relation hi nahiN hai... pehla misra, kisee ke gham meN aansoo bahaane kii baat karta hai, jab ki dusre misre meN apne sine meN dard kii aag kii baat huii hai.. isee tarah se, sher adhura bhii nahiN rehna chaahiye... jaise ki; tumko dekhke mujhe huaa hai aisaa kya zindagee meN phir se.... ab upar ka sher aadhee hi baat kar rahaa hai, ghazal meN ek sher meN poori baat khatm honee chaahiye, jo upar ke sher meN nahiN ho rahee hai.... ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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(#14)
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Tere Intzaar Mein....
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17th June 2014, 02:12 PM
Quote:
aadeil ji bahut bahut shukriyaa ........... meraa ek sawal hai kyaa ye sher rabt me hai ... ? duniyaaN mere hotoN se hasi maaNg rhi hai jo nhi pass mere wo khushi maaNg rhi hai zaari apnaa safar rakhtaa huN !! =========================== sharma.rajeev701@gmail.com https://www.facebook.com/rajeevsharmaraj111 http://www.rajeevsharmaraj.blogspot.com/ |
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(#15)
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17th June 2014, 02:27 PM
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aapka aabhar aapka diya gayaa sher, mere hisaab se bilkul rabt meN hai.. use maiN iss tarah se tabdeer kar sakta hooN.. maiN jab khush nahi hooN toh maiN apne hotoN pe hansee kahaaN se laaunga? aur phir bhii duniya ko yeh kahaaN pataa hai? wo toh meri hansi kii talabgaar hai.... ummeed hai aapke sawaal ka jawaab sahi de paayaa hooN ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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(#16)
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17th June 2014, 04:06 PM
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duniyaaN mere hotoN se hasi maaNg rhi hai jo nhi pass mere wo khushi maaNg rhi hai plz clear karenge agar aapne yeh sher beher ke niyamaanusaar hi likha hai? ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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(#17)
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17th June 2014, 04:40 PM
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(#18)
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17th June 2014, 04:27 PM
ALL BLUE FONTS MINE
ab usska udaaharan maiN ulta deta hooN ( in respect of RABT)niche ka sher galat hoga.. teree aankheN tere har gham kii baateN keh rahi hai aaj mere sine meN yeh kaisee agan jalne lagi hai aaj As far as rabt is concerned, kuch bhi black and white nahi. aapka darj sher hi dekh lijiye ,jisko aaap kahte hai rabt nahi..magar mujhe rabt me lagta hai... rabt is of many many types. and rabt is both in letter and spirit and also in letters only and spirit only, or any combinations of it. technical arguement karemn to aapke darj sher ka namune me rabt hai...kitni hai , kitni acchi hai is beyond the scope of this discussion, par ye baat bhi hai ki stronger the rabt more 'effective' the sher. aapke sher me kam se kam 2 hisaab se rabt hai 1] awwal to enviormental rabt hai, yahi dono sher ka mahaul ek hai....like...unki aankhe gum ki kanahi kah rahi hai ,so aapke sine me jalan ho rahi hai(aaj)...kaha rabt nahi hai? 2]verbal rabt hai- eyes and chest , two parts of he same body , justify the oneness...yani us sher ko yaksaa hone ki taqat de rahi hai. ise symbolism kahta hai. it provides a very strong to the bonds of two line of the sher. ----------- isee tarah se, sher adhura bhii nahiN rehna chaahiye... jaise ki; tumko dekhke mujhe huaa hai aisaa kya zindagee meN phir se.... ab upar ka sher aadhee hi baat kar rahaa hai, ghazal meN ek sher meN poori baat khatm honee chaahiye, jo upar ke sher meN nahiN ho rahee hai....[/B][/QUOTE] ye sher - aadhi baat nahi kar raha hai, sirf aap last me ek question mark laga dijiye. varna sher atpata sa zarur hai is sher par ye ilzaam lag sakta hai ki its hilarious and ridiculous...lekin sher incomplete nahi hai ye...there is no such thing as an incomplete sher in my opinion. it is a more of a rhetorical defect than prosodical. haa, ek zaruri baat- agar sher ka dusra misra ,gramatically first sher se shuru hota hai to vo galat sher hai, bhale beher me ho aur rabt bhi . for e,g this sher( mujeeb sahab..ispar charcha hui thi mujhe yaad hai) haiN aib hazaroN poosheedah yahaaN warna , hai har koi darinda , sab mazhoor agar hoota.... mujeeb sahab. yaha gaur kijiye - pahle misre ke last me 'hai' hai aur vo 'hai' dusre misre ko start kar raha hai...so this is a defect. bot lines should be gramatically non interconnected and independent from each other. waise bhi ek sher me baat khatm hojana , zaruri nahi ki aib ho, kuch baate adhuri bhi chod di jaati hai unkahi...magar sunnewala samjh jata hai aur lutf leta hai khoobye ek rhetorical device hai...mujhe nahi lagta ki urdu me iska koi special naam ho...english me ise 'asopiosesis ' and uska variation' anapodoton ' kahte hai. (i have tried to broadly cover all aspects of the question) |
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(#19)
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17th June 2014, 04:36 PM
Quote:
is sher par ye ilzaam lag sakta hai ki its hilarious and ridiculous...lekin sher incomplete nahi hai ye...there is no such thing as an incomplete sher in my opinion. it is a more of a rhetorical defect than prosodical. haa, ek zaruri baat- agar sher ka dusra misra ,gramatically first sher se shuru hota hai to vo galat sher hai, bhale beher me ho aur rabt bhi . for e,g this sher( mujeeb sahab..ispar charcha hui thi mujhe yaad hai) haiN aib hazaroN poosheedah yahaaN warna , hai har koi darinda , sab mazhoor agar hoota.... mujeeb sahab. yaha gaur kijiye - pahle misre ke last me 'hai' hai aur vo 'hai' dusre misre ko start kar raha hai...so this is a defect. bot lines should be gramatically non interconnected and independent from each other. waise bhi ek sher me baat khatm hojana , zaruri nahi ki aib ho, kuch baate adhuri bhi chod di jaati hai unkahi...magar sunnewala samjh jata hai aur lutf leta hai khoobye ek rhetorical device hai...mujhe nahi lagta ki urdu me iska koi special naam ho...english me ise 'asopiosesis ' and uska variation' anapodoton ' kahte hai. (i have tried to broadly cover all aspects of the question) [/QUOTE] shukriya, Zidd saab.. aapne bahot hi khubsurti se iss pehlu ko samjhaayaa hai.. aur aapki iss baat se maiN sehmat hooN ki yeh har ek individual pe hai ki woh sher ko kees tarah se tabdeer karta hai Vaise maine rabt ke mudde ko example thru samjhaane kii koshish kii, magar lagta hai.. galat likhna sahi likhne se mushkiil hai vaise, thanks a lot. abhii bhii aapkii 3rd aur 4th points kee explanation baaki hai  ummeed hai, jald hi aap uspe bhii roshni daalenge ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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(#20)
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17th June 2014, 04:59 PM
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DO-LAKHT Ka maani hai.......do tukhde.....yaani jab sher Ke do misre alag-2 baat kahe to use DO-LAKHT kahate hai ....Jo ki bahut bada aib hai.... Missal Ke liye ek chhota sa qissa suniye....... Ek baar janaab haidar Ali aatish Ke paas unke ek shaagird apna ye sher lekar aaye Fasl-e gul me'n mujhe kahtaa hai kih gulshan se nikal aisii be-par kii udhaataa thaa na saiyaad kabhii Is sher par aatish sahib ki islaah dekhiye..... Par katar kar mujhe kahtaa hai kih gulshan se nikal aisii be-par kii udhaataa thaa nah saiyaad kabhii Kahane ki koi zaroorat nahi ki pahle sher me DO LAKHT tha Jo aatish saahib ne door kar diya.....lekin do-lakht ko pakadna itna aasan nahi hai aur main apni baat phir duharaata hu.....do lakht ko pakadnaa aasan nahi hai Ghaalib jaise shaair bhi is aib se Bach nahi paaye....unka ek sher dikhiye aataa hai mere qatl ko par josh-e rashk se martaa huu;N us ke haath me;N talvaar dekh kar Meri auqaat nahi ki Ghalib Ke sher par kuch kahu islie is sher ki baabat Janab nazm Tabataba'i ke khyaal zaahir kare raha hu Koi agar mere qatl ko haath me talwaar lekar Aa raha hai to mujhe uske haath me talwaar dekhkar kyun rashk hogaa...dono misro'n me rabt nahi hai.....nazm saahib Urdu shaairi Ke bahut bade adiib the..unki kisi baat ko halke me nahi liya jana chaahiye lekin baad me bahut se aadiibo me is masle par unki purzor khilaafat ki thii...khud mujhe lagtaa hai dono misro me ek saaf rabt hai isliye Maine kahaa thaa ki DO-LAHT ko pakadnaa aasan nahi hai.....ek tarah se main zidd sahib ki baat ko support kar raha hu aur unki is baat Ki mukhaalfat bhi kar raha hu ki kuch bhi black & white nahi hai......as I said ki aib-e-Do lakht pakadnaa aasan nahi hai .....lekin na-mumkin bhi nahi hai..... |
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(#21)
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17th June 2014, 05:06 PM
Quote:
aapne aur Zidd saab ne bahot hi khubsurti se yeh point ko explain kiya hai. aap dono ka bahot bahot shukriya . kaafi points clear hone lage haiN ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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(#22)
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18th June 2014, 04:01 PM
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 Lekin ek sach ye bhi hai ki agar shaairi se Judi kisi baat ko samajhna hai to ustaad shaair Ke ashaar se achcha koi zariya nahi hai.....yaha Maine BLUE FONTS me in ashaar ki explanation ki hai ...ye explanation sabit kar dengi ( mujhe lagaa hai) ki do-lakht ko pakadna na-mumkin nahi hai...aur sirf circumstances same hone par do misro me rabt hone ki koi guarantee nahi hai |
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(#23)
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18th June 2014, 04:29 PM
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muafee chahoonga agar koii gustakhee huii ho aataa hai mere qatl ko par josh-e rashk se martaa huu;N us ke haath me;N talvaar dekh kar NazM sahib ne Ghalib Ke is sher par objection kiya tha ki agar agar qaati Ke haath me talwaar hai to mujhe khauf hogaa rashk nahi hogaa..unki baat bhi sahii hai aur is baat ki dalil hai ki circumstances ek jaise ho iska MATLAB ye nahi ki sher Ke dono misro'n me rabt ho gayaa...sher Ke alfaaz ki possibilities Ka khayaal karna zaroori hai..lekin mujhe lagta hai sher Ke dono misro'n me rabt hai...Ghalib kahana Cha rahe hai ki ..WO mere qatl ko talwaar lekar Aa raha hai ...mujhe jalan ho rahii hai ki qaash talwaar mere haath me hoti to main uske qatl ko jaata...yahaa Marne se MATLAB jalan se marna hai na ki jaan se haath dho bhaithana... Ghalib saab ke iss sher pe hi aate hai... maiN aapse iss baat pe sehmat huN ki yeh sher bilkul rabt meN hai.. aur Ghalib saab koii sipahi ya soldier toh nahi the.. We ek shaayar the.. toh zaahir si baat hai ki iss sher ko ek philosophical view diya jaaye... pehle misre meN wo qaatil ke qatl karne ke liye aane kii baat kar rahe haiN.. aur wo qatil iss liye qatl karna chahta/chahti (agar unka ishaaraa unkee lover kii ore ho) kyun ki use shaayar kii kisii baat pe rashk hai, ab woh baat kya hai? woh hum dusre misre meN dhundhte haiN.. shaayar (Ghalib saab) dusre misre meN kehte haiN ki unko qaatil ka khauf nahi hai, kyuN ki we toh vaise bhii qatil ke haath meN talvaar dekh kar hi mar jaayenge? (yahaaN thoda philosophical view point zaroori ho jaataa hai) talvaar se we kya represent karna chahte haiN? mehbooba ka ghussa? unkii ankheN? unkee adaa? yeh thoda pechida hai..toh agar shaayar sirf mehbooba ki kisii zalak ya adaa pe hi marne (fida hone) ko agar tayaar hai, toh use talvaar ke vaar kii kya fikr? aur usii baat pe qaatil ko rashk toh hona hi hai? yeh meri samajh hai jo maine bayaan kii hai views may differ ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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(#24)
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18th June 2014, 05:08 PM
Actually itna zyada likhte likhte most of the times mudda kho jata hu...
phir se con-size karke mudda saamne lata hu pointed way me....upar discussion ka nichod , uska essence yu samjh lijiye. ye samjh aa raha hai ki ye 'aib e dolakht' , rabt kam hone ya kam hone ka defect hai. literal meaning jaa raha hai kuch aise- do misra sher ka, do alag alag baat bol raha hai. ------------------------------------------- ab is defect 'AIB E DOLAKHT' me muskil ye hai ki ye koi usool to ho nahi sakta , kyuki usool kabhi jhutlaya nahi jaa sakta....matlab ye ki jis cheez par 2 raey ho sake that cannot be a principle (usool ) aur ye aib to individual interpretation par hai...kisiko aib lagega , kisiko nahi....jaise upar darj arguement hi le lijiye. ghalib sahab ka sher hai jispar ustad nazm sahab kahte hai usme aib e dolakht ' hai , magar koi aur agree nahi karta hai us baat par. vo isliye ki ye subjective issue hai... mera opinion ye hai ki 'rabt kam hona' aisi koi cheez nahi hoti. kuch sunnewale ko bhi imagine karna padta hai ki shayar kya kah raha hai. yahi wajah hai ki sabko sab sher pasand nahi aate.... ab subjective issue hai ye 'rabt'..it cannot be called a defect in the true sense.bahut logo ko abstract sher pasand aate hai. seedhe ashar pasand nahi aate (i am saying all this just to provoke a discussion) |
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(#25)
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AN ILLUSION
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18th June 2014, 07:19 PM
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(#26)
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18th June 2014, 09:37 PM
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abhi to aaapne kuch kaha hi nahi hai? ye to literary tussle hai....aaapne kuch kaha to dusro ne kuch kaha... isme naariizgi ki kya baat? bus itna hi to kaha ki jo aapne bataya usko proove karo?..kya galat kaha kisine? yaha koi sunne ke liye thode hai sirf...agar koi kuch kahta hai to usse kya clarification nahi manga jaa sakta? sirf sunkar kya ilm badta hai?..ilm to bahs hi se badta hai... khafaa na hoiye janaab...aaiye....you have a point to prove rationally... aapne aatish sahab ka hawala diya hai ...to saamne wala kya kahna chahta hai unke baare me ye bhi to suiniye...? abhi to maumla garm hua hai...hum yaha aaye yu hai?...seeehne sekhane hi ke liye na? varna aapko ye 'aib e do lakht batane ki kya zarurat thi?...aap bhi to yahi chahte hai na ki sab seekhe sikhaaye?...varna aap aur mai sirf apni ghazal post karke chal na dete? aaoo uafaq bhai lets do something constructive by fighting  |
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(#27)
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AN ILLUSION
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18th June 2014, 06:58 PM
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(#28)
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16th June 2014, 04:19 PM
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Tasleemaat Behna!! Buhat umdaa wa aalatareen koshish hai bahna! Allah Paak kaamyaab farmayay!... good on you all! Will try my best to contribute too!! Ahmad |
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(#29)
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16th June 2014, 10:35 PM
Shukriyah Ahmed bhai. ....................
Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#30)
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17th June 2014, 01:59 PM
Bohat shukriyah Aadil sahab. ....
Guzarish hai ke jo 4 points zidd sahab ne bataye unke bhi examples dein.. To points sabko clearly samajh aa jayenge Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#31)
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RADHE RADHE
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17th June 2014, 02:17 PM
zainy jee bahut achha silsila shuru hua hai
knowledge badhaane waala rahega yeh threadh shukriya aisa thread shuru karne ke liye radhe radhe Aapka Apna Ishk 'इश्क' के बदले इश्क चाहना तिजारत है इज़हार किससे करें महबूब तो दिल में है email: rkm179@gmail.com 
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(#32)
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17th June 2014, 02:20 PM
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Shukriya... pehli do points toh saaf hai... 1] sher meterized (behr-band) hona chaaiye..... ab iske liye toh meN guzaarish karoonga har shaayar ko ki we Zidd saab ke niche dii gayee link wale thread pe behr ke baare meN poori jaankaari leN; http://www.shayri.com/forums/showthread.php?t=69311 behr ke baare meN bahot hi khubsurat article unhoN ne likha hai.. uske alaavaa maine koshish kii hai, takteeoN ke baare meN kuch tashreeh (explanation) karne kii, shaayad wo bhii aapke kaam aa jaaye agar kuch adhik jaankaari chaahiye toh.. link niche hai.. http://www.shayri.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76827 2] grammar bilkul sahii ho.. yeh to laajmii hai ki agar grammar sahi nahiN hogi toh shaayar apni baat sahi tarike se bayaan nahi kar paayenge koii example dhyan meN nahi aa rahaa hai :Pek simple si explanaton ye hi hogi ki; jaise, gender pe dhyan deN.. jaise.. muskaan, aankh, muhabbat, rag (nabz) feminine gender haiN toh uske saath 'thee' ya phir plural meN 'theeN' ka istemaal hoga. Vaise hi, dil, jigar, pyar yeh masculine gender haiN. aisee cheezoN pe khaas dhyan deN. 3rd or 4th point kii clarity maiN khud mang rahaa hooN Zidd saab se ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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(#33)
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17th June 2014, 04:42 PM
Zainyji.. Zainyji..
meri darkhwast hai ki iss thread ko sticky banaayaa jaaye.. ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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(#34)
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17th June 2014, 04:48 PM
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Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#35)
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17th June 2014, 05:04 PM
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ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता
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3] sher bharti ke lafzo se aazaad ho. |
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(#36)
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3] sher bharti ke lafzo se aazaad ho. -
17th June 2014, 05:15 PM
aksar lafz baratne me aise lafzo ka sahara lena padta hai jiksi actually koi zarurat nahi..dusre shabdo me kahu to agar kuch lafz misre se hata diye jaayen aur us misre ke meaning me koi farq nahi pade, meaning suffer na kare, balki aur sharp ho jaaye to aise lafzo ko 'bharti lafz' yani ' filler words ' kahte hai.
ye kahne ki zarurat nahi ki aisa wahi shayar karta hai jo beherband misre likhna chahta hai...jisko beherbandi nahi karna hai unke liye ye discussion sirf academic hai. ek theme ko decide karna , phir us theme ko beautifully lafzo me utarna , ek meter me , is exercise ko lafz baratna kahte hai. aksar shayar ko bahut frustrate karta hai ye exercise. theme milti hai to lafz nahi milte ,dono milte hai to properly beher me arrange nahi ho rahe hai..jo arrange hota hai vo baat shayar kahna chahta nahi, jo arrange hota hai usse shayar mutmain nahi...phir shayar koshish karta hai...jab thak jaata hai to ek- ak filler lafz istemaal kar leta hai kabhi meter badalna, kabhi lafz badalna, kabhi theme modify kar ke tasalli kar lena - ye sab shayar ke professional hazards hai. shayad isliye hi munawwar rana ne kaha hoga 'humne lafz barat ne me lahu thook diya aap to sirf ye dekhnege ki ghazal kaisi thi.' jab sab kuch mil jata hai aur bus ek chota lafz addtion karna hai meter me fit karne keliye to shayar kabhi kabhi koi bharti ka lafz jaise 'hi' istemaal kar leta hai aur sher defective ho jata hai for example. raha chand mujhse khafa khafa, na hi taare hi rahe rahnumaa mere askh me base jugnuoo, se ye raat meri chamak gayi ab yaha shayar ne frustrate hokar 'hi' ghused diya , jabhi agar ;hi; na ho to bhi us misre ki meaning zara bhi suffer na kare. balki jo first 'hi' hai usne misre ko kamzor bana diya. i hope i was satisfactory in the explanation. |
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(#37)
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17th June 2014, 07:56 PM
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..ghair zaruri words add karke bas behr theek karna hota hai.. Mere khayaal se her sher me se ghair zaruri words ko hatana hi first homework hona chahiye....SAHI sher likhne ke liye.. Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#38)
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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17th June 2014, 08:02 PM
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(#39)
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17th June 2014, 08:07 PM
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iska ek hi tod hai...the writer should be a master of the meter he is using. phir ye mushkil aasaan ho jati hai. kyui agar aap kuch kahe jis meter me aapki adequate practice and mastery hai to ye problem nahi hai...ears apne aap reject kar dete hai jo lafz ya word group rhythm ko confirm nahi karte. isliye best way is to sing out while making sher initially, after some time one will not need to sing for meters in which one has practice. tahkti used last just to confirm is tarah se bharti ke lafz nahi ayenge. |
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(#40)
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17th June 2014, 08:14 PM
ufaqji se meri e darkhwast hai ki us aib
Aib e do lakht is baare me thoda sa hame jaan kaari den. kyuki meri ilm ki tishnagi bhuji nahi is topic par, specially jab mai bilkul alag nazariya rakhta hu. its a request...lets have a healthy debate on this aib(defect)...maybe if you wish you can make a new thread. regards |
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