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zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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13th August 2014, 10:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mujeeb View Post
moHterma Nazneen SaHiba , Mohteram Hassan Bhai app dono ka beHad mamnoon hoN app ne bahut umda sawal poocha or moHteram zarra SaHb ka bhi jinhoN ne iska behtareen Jawab diya


yaqeenan app sabhi se mujh jaisy talib ElmoN ko bahut kuch seekhny ko mila hai or aainda bhi aisy hi milta rahy ga

app sabhi ka beHad shukriayh , reps +++
Hausla afzaayee aur reps ka bahaut bahaut shukriya Mujeeb sahab !!


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
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zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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13th August 2014, 10:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
Mujeeb bhai!

For example liya tha Ghalib saheb ki ghazal se yeh shair,
socha nahi tha ke kisi ne ghazal meiN is Qism ki changes ki hoN gi.....

Sorry is topic par kuchh contribute naheen kar pa raha hoon kyunki unfortunately mujhe Urdu script pardhni naheen aati

Hope this matter is resolved ?


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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aadeil
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13th August 2014, 10:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
Waah !! Bahaut hi gehra phalsaphaana sher hai !! Translation dene ka bhi shukriya. Aap ka ilm-e-alfaaz bahaut hi gehra hai !! Dheron daad Aadeil sahab !!
Zarrasaab,

aapka mamnoon hooN, saahib... ilmii taur pe to hameN ab bahot kuch haasil karna baaki hai, sirji, rekhta bhii aur sher-o-shaayri bhii aur iis liye aap jaisoN kii rehnumaai kii ummeed se hi yahaaN haazir hooN

hamaari jaanib se dheroN duaaeN....



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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aadeil
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13th August 2014, 10:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
Mujeeb bhai!

For example liya tha Ghalib saheb ki ghazal se yeh shair,
socha nahi tha ke kisi ne ghazal meiN is Qism ki changes ki hoN gi.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mujeeb View Post
moHteram Hassan bhai mere pass jo Ghalib saHb ke deewan ka nusKha hai us mai kuch youN hai sher

عشرتِ قتل گہِ اہل تمنا، مت پوچھ
عیدِ نظّارہ ہے شمشیر کا عریاں ہونا


aur degar jaghoN mai bhi kuch issi tereH hai

https://www.facebook.com/urdu.duniya...32888153476569
http://urduhaijiskanam.yolasite.com/...9%84%D8%A8.php
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
Zarra saheb.. jo shair post kiya gaya! Ghalib saheb ki ghazal se hai..
mukammal ghazal pesh-e-nazar hai:-





Zarraa saheb hur shayer ki apni soch aur nazariya hota hai...
maiN oper di gayi aap ki sabhi interpretations se mutafiQ (sehmat) hooN!

Aise hi hamari madad aur hausla afzaai karte rahiye ga!

Apna khiyaal rakhiye ga,

DuaooN ke saath,,
dostoN,

aap logoN se darkhwast hai ki English ya Hindi script ka istemaal kiya kareN taaki sabhii members ko paRhne aur samajhne me aasaani ho



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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13th August 2014, 10:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Waaaaah! Behad khoobsurat khayal, bahot khoob
Thanks dear,
vaise tumhare jitna asardaar sher ab tak nahi ban paaya

ab bhii waah waah nikalti hai uus pe

keep it up.....



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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13th August 2014, 10:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
Zarraa saheb.. kal hum thode se free the, aur mood meiN bhi the ke kuch shayri ki jaye..
fusoon ka lafz 'azaab' bhi zehn meiN tha.. toH younhi aapas ki guftugu ke doraaN
Naaz aur iss na-cheez ne yeH Qit'a tarteeb diya....


woh haqeeqat na sahi saraab to hai
lamha ba lamha toot'ta azaab to hai
phad raha hooN jese khiyaal ki tehreer!
haath meiN mere ik kitaab to hai!

saraab : mirage, illusion
Wwwwwaaaaaahhhhhhhh !!! Kya husn kya adaayegi kya raanaaiyaan hain is qit'a mein...waaqayee, fursat se taraasha hua lagta hai Dheron daad aur bahaut si mubaarakbaad aap ko aur N@zneen ji ko


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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aadeil
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13th August 2014, 10:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
good one..............................
.....
Zainyji,
bahot bahot shukriya aapka



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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lafz "azaab" par members ke apne aashaar ...
Old
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zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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lafz "azaab" par members ke apne aashaar ... - 13th August 2014, 09:41 PM

lafz "azaab" par members ke apne kahe huwe aashaar

zindagi mukhtalif hai zindagi lajawaab hai
kisi k liye lutf e jannat to kisi k liye azaab hai
Ananthpak

jab dard e tanhai ne shiddat ikhtiyaar ki, main be-tahasha ro diya
jigar se khoon tapakta raha aur "hSn" mubtala e azaab hua
Hassan

zeher bhii pee looN gar tu pilaae laboN se
azaab me tere zindaaN tak chalooN
Aadeil

kamar se baandh ke khinchenge wo tere kafas ko
kise uthaanee hai azaab is sard murde baar ki
Aadeil

chaltee rahee ghadee kee tarah zindagee meree
bakee bache yahaan pe kuchh dam azaab ke
Aadeil

rukhsaar pe bosa na diya, tumne sharam meN
gar sharmo hayaa hai to, azaab kyuN ye bekaar looN
Aadeil

kis kis azaab se kaho guzra naheeN hooN maiN
ab tak teree panaah meiN aaya naheeN hooN maiN
Zarraa

humaiN baad e bahaari ka aadi bana kar
baad e hawaadis se milaate *kyuN ho?
taa umer saath nibhane ka ah.Ed tha!
roz naye azaab se milaatay kyuN ho?*
Hassan

kya sazaa doge kar rakheeN haiN jamaa
mastiyaaN har azaab meiN hum ne
Zarraa

Qafas udaas hai aayee sabaa na yaar aayaa,
bahot dino se to ham ko bhi naa qaraar aayaa.
tabiyat huii azaab ke kuch din se dostoN,
na theek hii hote hain naa *bukhaar aayaa
Shaad

Faraamosh khataaoN ko kis kadar karna?
Musaawee e azaab hai darguzar karna.
N@zneen

chashm e namm, jabr e musalsal, azaab e judai!
ishQ na kiya! hum ne apna khaana kharaab kiya!*
Hassan

ghuNghat meN chehraa, aaNkHoN pe pehraa
kaisaa azaab ye zaalim naqaab hai
Aadeil

rihaa huaa magar azaab maiN liye jiyaa karuuN
terii galii ko chhoR ke bhii ashq jo piya karuuN
Aadeil

azaab e ranj se burii azaab e naar to nahi
jalaa kare magar tere azaab e hijr meN hi hum
Aadeil

ulfat milii azaab milaa aur gham milaa
iis ruuh ko milaa bhii to qaid e qafas milii
Aadeil

kuchh bhi anjaam e ishq ho yaaroN
kuchh sawaab aur kuchh azaab hai ye
Zarraa

dair o haram ke paas meN jo e'tiqaad huva
har uun azaab e jaa.n se mai.n aur sa.ng zaad huva
Aadeil

woh haqeeqat na sahi saraab to hai
lamha ba lamha toot'ta azaab to hai*
phad raha hooN jese khiyaal ki tehreer!*
haath meiN mere ik kitaab to hai!
N@zneen and Hassan

sabhi members jinhone apne khoobsurat aashaar se nawaaza aur jinhone guftagu e sukhan mein shirkat kari ya pardha, un sab ka bahaut bahaut shukriya. aur khaas taur se kehna chaahoonga ki is baar Aadeil sahab ne poore 9 aashaar, jin mein lafz azaab ka istemaal tha, se bazm ko nawaaza hai - behad mashqoor hoon aap ka Aadeil sahab.


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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naya lafz ...
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zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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naya lafz ... - 13th August 2014, 11:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
aadeil bhai, shaad bhai - shukriya ki aap ki guftagoo se mujhe aur pardhne waalon ko ek aham lafz par ghaur karne ka mauka mil raha hai - (bhale hi ye is baar ka lafz naheen hai ). saath hi shayari ke baareek nukton par hum soch rahe hain jis se mashq-e-sukhan bhi ho rahi hai. aap doston ke zariye is activity ka sahi maqsad haasil ho raha hai - aur lagta hai ki mujhe agli baar ka lafz bhi mil gaya hai - QAFAS
to dostoN, waayde ke mutaabiq is baar ka lafz hai "qafas" .... which literally means "piNjra" ya "cage". it is most often used figuratively to convey bondage, imprisonment etc. is ke saath jo symbols use hote hain un mein se kuchh hain panchhi, parinda, saiyyaad, gulshan, chaman, saba, aashiyaan, bahaar, naseem, kiran, faza, parvaaz wagairah wagairah ... ye sirf example ke taur par hi keh raha hoon ... aakhir ye to shayar ka ehsaas aur takhayyull hai ki wo is lafz ka kaise istemaal kare ... there are no boundaries to perception and Imagination

hum ne pichhlee dafa is lafz par discussion kiya tha, jis mein ye opinion aaya tha ki lafz ke figurative meaning ke istemaal ke liye agar koyee "bridge" ya "correlation" establish kiya jaaye us ke literal meaning se, to sher ke maayne pooree tarah se khul jaate hain aur sher ka lutf pooree tarah haasil ho sakta hai. please see the relevant posts in the previous discussion for details. also please note how this method has been used in the below quoted aashaar of the ustaad shora.

ye lafz shayari mein kaafi zyaada istemaal mein aata hai, aur is par nihayati khoobsurat aur pursoz aashaar kahe gaye hain.

dekhte hain ustaad shora ke kuchh khoobsurat aashaar lafz-e-qafas par ...

qafas meiN mujh se roodaad-e-chaman kehte n dar humdum
giree hai jis pe kal bijlee wo mera aashiyaaN kyooN ho
- Ghalib

ne teer kamaaN meiN haiN n saiyyaad kamee meiN
goshe meiN qafas ke mujhe aaraam bahaut hai
- Ghalib

qafas udaas hai yaaroN saba se kuchh to kaho
kaheeN to bahr-e-Khuda aaj zikr-e-yaar chale
- Faiz

hum ne jo tarz-e-fughaaN kii hai qafas meiN eejaad
"faiz" gulshan meiN wahi tarz-e-bayaaN thahri thee
- Faiz

phir qafas meiN shor uttha qaidiyoN ka aur saiyyaad
dekhna urha dega phir khabar rihaayee ki
- Faraaz

kuchh qafas ki teeliyoN se chhan raha hai noor sa
kuchh faza kuchh hasrat-e-parvaaz ki baateiN karo
- Firaaq Gorakhpuri

chhurha de qaid se ai barq hum aseeroN ko
laga de aag qafas ko bhi aashiyaaN ki tarah
- Daagh Dehelvi

jhaarhiyaaN jin ke qafas meiN qaid hai aah-e-khizaaN
sabz kar degee unheiN baad-e-bahaar-e-jaavidaaN
- Iqbaal ki nazm se

chhup raha hai jo qafas-e-tan meiN har taair-e-dil
aaNkh khole huwe shaaheen-e-nazar kis ka hai
- Ameer Meenai

dekhiye kya gul khilaati hai bahaar ab ke baras
khwaab meiN dekha hai "faani" ne qafas ka dar khula
- Faani Badaayuni

zabt karta hooN to ghut'ta hai qafas meiN mera dam
aah karta hooN to saiyyad khafa hota hai
- Qamar Jalalvi

jhoNke jo lag rahe haiN naseem-e-bahaar ke
jumbish meiN hai qafas bhi aseer-e-chaman ke saath
- Majrooh Sultaanpuri

"qafas" ki taqti hai 12 mere hisaab se, any other opinion is welcome.

chaliye, ab is lafz par ghaur karne ke silsile ka aaghaaz karte hain. lafz "qafas" par apne sabhi aashaaroN,sawaaloN, mashwaroN, khayaaloN ke parindoN ko zehn ke qafas se riha kar dijiye aur un ko is mehfil ke gulshan mein chehchahaane dijiye aur is bazm ke aasmaan par urhne dijiye . agar aap ne is lafz par pichhlee posts par koyee aashaar kahe hon, to unhein repeat karne ki pooree chhoot hai aap ko agar aap chaahein to...naye aashaar to most welcome hain hi.

is lafz par ghaur karne ka silsila hum agle 6 dinon tak, yaani 19th Aug, raat 9:00 PM India time ya 3:30 PM GMT.

duaon ke saath
zarraa


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha

Last edited by zarraa; 13th August 2014 at 11:39 PM..
   
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aadeil
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14th August 2014, 10:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
lafz "azaab" par members ke apne kahe huwe aashaar

zindagi mukhtalif hai zindagi lajawaab hai
kisi k liye lutf e jannat to kisi k liye azaab hai
Ananthpak

jab dard e tanhai ne shiddat ikhtiyaar ki, main be-tahasha ro diya
jigar se khoon tapakta raha aur "hSn" mubtala e azaab hua
Hassan

zeher bhii pee looN gar tu pilaae laboN se
azaab me tere zindaaN tak chalooN
Aadeil

kamar se baandh ke khinchenge wo tere kafas ko
kise uthaanee hai azaab is sard murde baar ki
Aadeil

chaltee rahee ghadee kee tarah zindagee meree
bakee bache yahaan pe kuchh dam azaab ke
Aadeil

rukhsaar pe bosa na diya, tumne sharam meN
gar sharmo hayaa hai to, azaab kyuN ye bekaar looN
Aadeil

kis kis azaab se kaho guzra naheeN hooN maiN
ab tak teree panaah meiN aaya naheeN hooN maiN
Zarraa

humaiN baad e bahaari ka aadi bana kar
baad e hawaadis se milaate *kyuN ho?
taa umer saath nibhane ka ah.Ed tha!
roz naye azaab se milaatay kyuN ho?*
Hassan

kya sazaa doge kar rakheeN haiN jamaa
mastiyaaN har azaab meiN hum ne
Zarraa

Qafas udaas hai aayee sabaa na yaar aayaa,
bahot dino se to ham ko bhi naa qaraar aayaa.
tabiyat huii azaab ke kuch din se dostoN,
na theek hii hote hain naa *bukhaar aayaa
Shaad

Faraamosh khataaoN ko kis kadar karna?
Musaawee e azaab hai darguzar karna.
N@zneen

chashm e namm, jabr e musalsal, azaab e judai!
ishQ na kiya! hum ne apna khaana kharaab kiya!*
Hassan

ghuNghat meN chehraa, aaNkHoN pe pehraa
kaisaa azaab ye zaalim naqaab hai
Aadeil

rihaa huaa magar azaab maiN liye jiyaa karuuN
terii galii ko chhoR ke bhii ashq jo piya karuuN
Aadeil

azaab e ranj se burii azaab e naar to nahi
jalaa kare magar tere azaab e hijr meN hi hum
Aadeil

ulfat milii azaab milaa aur gham milaa
iis ruuh ko milaa bhii to qaid e qafas milii
Aadeil

kuchh bhi anjaam e ishq ho yaaroN
kuchh sawaab aur kuchh azaab hai ye
Zarraa

dair o haram ke paas meN jo e'tiqaad huva
har uun azaab e jaa.n se mai.n aur sa.ng zaad huva
Aadeil

woh haqeeqat na sahi saraab to hai
lamha ba lamha toot'ta azaab to hai*
phad raha hooN jese khiyaal ki tehreer!*
haath meiN mere ik kitaab to hai!
N@zneen and Hassan

sabhi members jinhone apne khoobsurat aashaar se nawaaza aur jinhone guftagu e sukhan mein shirkat kari ya pardha, un sab ka bahaut bahaut shukriya. aur khaas taur se kehna chaahoonga ki is baar Aadeil sahab ne poore 9 aashaar, jin mein lafz azaab ka istemaal tha, se bazm ko nawaaza hai - behad mashqoor hoon aap ka Aadeil sahab.
bahot khub............................



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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14th August 2014, 10:27 AM

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Originally Posted by zarraa View Post

sabhi members jinhone apne khoobsurat aashaar se nawaaza aur jinhone guftagu e sukhan mein shirkat kari ya pardha, un sab ka bahaut bahaut shukriya. aur khaas taur se kehna chaahoonga ki is baar Aadeil sahab ne poore 9 aashaar, jin mein lafz azaab ka istemaal tha, se bazm ko nawaaza hai - behad mashqoor hoon aap ka Aadeil sahab.
Zarrasaab,
aapkii muhabbat aur hausla afzaai hai jo hameN hausla deti aayii hai.. aapka teh-e-dil se shukr guzaar hooN....



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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14th August 2014, 10:34 AM

lafz 'qafas' pe mere kuch aashaar.....

na qafas kaa kHauf jinko na chaman kii chaah rakhte
maiN guloN se puchhtaa hooN wo parinde ab kahaaN hai

ye qafas hai raen-basera aur maiN taaIr*-e-dil
jo chaman se uD ke khud aa mila sayyaad se

(*bird)

aur ye mera pehle pesh kiya hua sher jisme lafz "qafas" se aib-e-do-lakht paida hua tha due to missing correlation...
Zarraasaab aur baaki shora aur shaayaroN se guzaarish hai ki apne sujhaav aur salaah qaayam kareN...

kamar se baandh ke wo khinch rahaa suunaa qafas-e-ruuh
kise uthaanee hai azaab is sard murde baar ki



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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14th August 2014, 01:08 PM

jab sabaa bhii azaab lagne lagii
ye qafas aashiyaanaa lagne lagaa

naye naye ashiyaane ko maiN saraab samjhaa
qafas qafas-aaraa* samjhe maiN to azaab samjhaa

(*one who decorates cage)

jabiin-e-khaaksii meN ek jabiin-e-saNg bhii aisa
yahaaN nazr-e-qafas jaaN aur safhaa-e-dahr dikhaataa hai



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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14th August 2014, 01:49 PM

chaman meN baith ke jo kar rahaa thaa roz guloN se baat
qafas kii tiiliyoN ke saath baaNtoo wo puraani yaad



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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14th August 2014, 09:39 PM

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Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
lafz 'qafas' pe mere kuch aashaar.....

na qafas kaa kHauf jinko na chaman kii chaah rakhte
maiN guloN se puchhtaa hooN wo parinde ab kahaaN hai


WWWWWWAAAAAHHHHHHHH !!!!! Aadeil bhai, main kis tarah se taareef karoon, kitni pazeeraayee karoon, kin alfaaz mein daad doon. ye kehna ghalat naheen hoga ki "this is an iconic statement that you have made". ye ek BAHAUT BADI baat kahi hai. agar ye sher tasweer hoti to falak is ka canvas hota aur kudrat is ke colours !!! naayaab sher !!! anginat daad aap ko !!


ye qafas hai raen-basera aur maiN taaIr*-e-dil
jo chaman se uD ke khud aa mila sayyaad se

(*bird)


ye aap ka bahaut barha zulm hai aap ka Aadeil bhai ki jab maiN wo saaree daad jo meri jholi meiN theeN un ko aap ke pichhle sher par luta chuka tha, to aap ne ek aur karishma nazron ke saamne rakh diya. ye sher aaftaab ki taab o chamak rakhta hai ki dekhne waale ki aankhein us ke noor se chaundhiyaa jaatee hain, lekin jab aankh khud ba khud band bhi ho jaayein to bhi isee sher ka aks dikhaayee deta hai. naayab sher !! daad o tehseen se kaheen aage nikal gaya hai !! bas wah wah wah wah aur wah !! ye meri khushnaseebee hai ki mujhe aisle sher ke deedaar hue.


aur ye mera pehle pesh kiya hua sher jisme lafz "qafas" se aib-e-do-lakht paida hua tha due to missing correlation...
Zarraasaab aur baaki shora aur shaayaroN se guzaarish hai ki apne sujhaav aur salaah qaayam kareN...

kamar se baandh ke wo khinch rahaa suunaa qafas-e-ruuh
kise uthaanee hai azaab is sard murde baar ki


waah !! bahaut khoob !! aap ka khuloos aur ikhlaas bemisaal hai Aadeil sahab. aap ne kis sincerity ke saath, is sher par diye saare feedbacks aur suggestions kis khoobsurti se incorporate kar liye hain. mujhe mazmoon pooree tarah waazeh lag raha hai, kyunki haalanki qafas ke literal meaning se koyee obvious bridge naheen deekh raha (jo aap ke pichhle 2 aashaar mein behad hi khoobsurti se saamne aaya hai) .. however that is NOT posing a problem, at least in my mind. wo is liye ki "suuna qafas e ruuh" keh ke aap jo baat kehna chaahte hain use aap ne 100% saaf kar diya hai jis se bridge ki zaroorat mehsoos naheen ho rahee hai, kyunki ek exact description hai. is liye final result durust lag raha hai mujh ko, because as the saying goes, the ends justify the means ye mera khayaal hai, koyee aur shora farmaaana chaahein to use jaan ne mein khushi, aur agar main ne koyee point theek naheen interpret kiya ya kuchh miss kiya then would be most eager to learn about that. ek baar phir se aap ko daad

Aadeil bhai ... teenon aashaar par daad. mere comments laal font mein hain.


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha

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14th August 2014, 11:33 PM

[QUOTE=aadeil;465396]jab sabaa bhii azaab lagne lagii
ye qafas aashiyaanaa lagne lagaa

wwaaahh bahaut khoob !! khoob maani ka khel khela Aadeil bhai !! mere interpretation mein is mein cause and effect ka khel hai jis ki 2 sooratein nazar aa hai hain (1) oola ka phenomenon is the cause and the saani ka phenomenon is the effect (i.e.oola ki baat se saani ki baat paida huwee hai) (2) both these 2 phenomena of oola and saani are the twin effects of a third cause which is left to the reader's imagination

pata naheen, may be I have completely mis interpreted the deeper meaning, par jo bhi hai laajawaab hai !!! dheron dheron daad !!!

naye naye ashiyaane ko maiN saraab samjhaa
qafas qafas-aaraa* samjhe maiN to azaab samjhaa


ek bahaut hi zabardast aur falsafaanaa sher se nawaaza hai Aadeil bhai !! mazmoon bilkul saaf hai aur maani bhi takreeban ayaan hi hai (90% tak) ... bas saani ke interpretation mein halka sa atak gaya hoon.... sawaal jo mere man mein hai ki "qafas qafas-aaraa samjhe" - in alfaaz mein qafas-aaraa ka qafas ke mutalliq kya rawaiyya pinhaan hai, jis par shayar react kar raha hai by saying "maiN to azaab samjha" ? haalaanki main ne 1-2 hypothesis form ki hain, but why speculate when the master craftsman of this sher is there with us !!! ek baar phir se dheron daad !!!



(*one who decorates cage)

jabiin-e-khaaksii meN ek jabiin-e-saNg bhii aisa
yahaaN nazr-e-qafas jaaN aur safhaa-e-dahr dikhaataa hai



Wwwaaahhh !!! Bahaut khoob !! Is sher ne lafz-e-jabeen ki guftagu ko bhi munawaar kiya tha aur ab lafz-e-qafas ki charcha ko bhi darakshaan kar raha hai !! Tah e dil se daad Aadeil bhai !!


/QUOTE]


Phir se bahaut bahaut si daad Aadeil bhai ... mere commets oopar red font mein hain ....


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha

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14th August 2014, 11:39 PM

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chaman meN baith ke jo kar rahaa thaa roz guloN se baat
qafas kii tiiliyoN ke saath baaNtoo wo puraani yaad
Aaj qayaamat dhaane ke iraade se aap mehfil mein daakhil huwe the Aadeil bhai, aur is maqsad mein aap pooree tarah qaamyaab huwe hain Wwwaaahh kya kya dilangez jigardoz sher farmaaya hai !! AAAAH AUR WAAAH !!!


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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Exclamation 15th August 2014, 12:30 AM

teri yaadoN ke qafas meiN aise jakray haiN jese!
zanjeereN jo lipti haiN paaoN se, humeN virsaa meiN mili hooN!


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
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15th August 2014, 08:45 AM

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teri yaadoN ke qafas meiN aise jakray haiN jese!
zanjeereN jo lipti haiN paaoN se, humeN virsaa meiN mili hooN!
Wwaahh !! Bahaut hi khoob Hassan bhai !! Gehre jazbaat se pur hai ye sher !! Alfaaz ke hisaab se, qafas aur zanjeer ka achchha taalmel banaaya. Dheron daad !!


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15th August 2014, 07:59 PM

Zarra bhai.....aapki bazm me kuch waqt haazir na ho saka iske liye....muaafi ataa kare....,,bhai....Qafas par meri bhi do - teen tukbandi pesh hai......

pade saiyyaad jab piichhe parinde ko samajh aaya
Qafas me'n hi raha hota , bhala hota , bura hota.


mujhko rahane hi De baaho.n me yu apni daayam
Tu qafas kholke panchhi ko udaata kyun hai


deed e falak navardee ki lazzat chali gayi
To kyaa huya qafas me'n agar andliib hai
   
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Keep the good work up... Adil bhai.. Well Done!
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Thumbs up Keep the good work up... Adil bhai.. Well Done! - 15th August 2014, 09:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
lafz 'qafas' pe mere kuch aashaar.....

na qafas kaa kHauf jinko na chaman kii chaah rakhte
maiN guloN se puchhtaa hooN wo parinde ab kahaaN haiN


wahhh... wahh... onchaaiyoN ko chuu rahi hai aap ki shayri, Adil bhai!
aise hi aur taraqqi karte rahiye... hur pal dua hai..


Quote:
ye qafas hai raen-basera aur maiN taaIr*-e-dil
jo chaman se uD ke khud aa mila sayyaad se
waaHHH! hur lafz pur-asar... behad umdaH shair kaha
hai bhai... dherooN daad...


Quote:
aur ye mera pehle pesh kiya hua sher jisme lafz "qafas" se aib-e-do-lakht paida hua tha due to missing correlation...
Zarraasaab aur baaki shora aur shaayaroN se guzaarish hai ki apne sujhaav aur salaah qaayam kareN...

kamar se baandh ke wo khinch rahaa suunaa qafas-e-ruuh
kise uthaanee hai azaab is sard murde baar ki
wahhhh... bohat khoob!!...

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
jab sabaa bhii azaab lagne lagii
ye qafas aashiyaanaa lagne lagaa


seedhe lafzoN se seedha dil per waar kiya hai Adil bhai..
bohat bohat khoob..

Quote:
naye naye ashiyaane ko maiN saraab samjhaa
qafas qafas-aaraa* samjhe maiN to azaab samjhaa[/I]
wahhh!!! bohat hi zaberdast aur aik achhuta khiyaal...
dil se nilkli dherooN daad pesh-e-nazar hai...


Quote:
jabiin-e-khaaksii meN ek jabiin-e-saNg bhii aisa
yahaaN nazr-e-qafas jaaN aur safhaa-e-dahr dikhaataa hai
bohat khoob!

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
chaman meN baith ke jo kar rahaa thaa roz guloN se baat
qafas kii tiiliyoN ke saath baaNtoo wo puraani yaad
masha Allah! kia khiyaal pesh kiya hai .. wahh! wahh!


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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15th August 2014, 09:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
Wwaahh !! Bahaut hi khoob Hassan bhai !! Gehre jazbaat se pur hai ye sher !! Alfaaz ke hisaab se, qafas aur zanjeer ka achchha taalmel banaaya. Dheron daad !!
Zarraa saheb..

Shuru se fusooN-e-alfaa meiN milta hua aap ka saath,
bohat mainay rakhta hai mere liye!

Milte rahiye,
Apna khiyaal rakhiye,

DuaooN ke saath,,


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")

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Exclamation 16th August 2014, 03:21 AM


Qafas meiN qaid panchi ki khaber rakhna, ae saheb!
mazloom ki aah farsh to kia arsh tak hilaa deti hai....


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
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sameer'shaad'
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16th August 2014, 09:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post

Qafas meiN qaid panchi ki khaber rakhna, ae saheb!
mazloom ki aah farsh to kia arsh tak hilaa deti hai....
waaaaahhhhh..... kyaa kahne hassan saahab... aalaa


Shaad...
   
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sameer'shaad'
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16th August 2014, 09:21 AM

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Originally Posted by ufaq View Post
Zarra bhai.....aapki bazm me kuch waqt haazir na ho saka iske liye....muaafi ataa kare....,,bhai....Qafas par meri bhi do - teen tukbandi pesh hai......

pade saiyyaad jab piichhe parinde ko samajh aaya
Qafas me'n hi raha hota , bhala hota , bura hota.


mujhko rahane hi De baaho.n me yu apni daayam
Tu qafas kholke panchhi ko udaata kyun hai


deed e falak navardee ki lazzat chali gayi
To kyaa huya qafas me'n agar andliib hai

ufaq saahab....... shaayad ke mere alfaaz kam pad jaaenge gar in aashaaron ki tareef karne ka khayaal bhi kiyaa.....

har ek sher yoon hai jaise ek misaal, jaise kisii shaayar ki pahchaan.... bakamaal bemisaal mere bhai..... kyaa khoob sher hue hain.. dil se daad aapko.....

Shaad....


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sameer'shaad'
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16th August 2014, 09:24 AM

na qafas kaa kHauf jinko na chaman kii chaah rakhte
maiN guloN se puchhtaa hooN wo parinde ab kahaaN hai

ye qafas hai raen-basera aur maiN taaIr*-e-dil
jo chaman se uD ke khud aa mila sayyaad se

kamar se baandh ke wo khinch rahaa suunaa qafas-e-ruuh
kise uthaanee hai azaab is sard murde baar ki


Aadeil bhai aadaab......

waah janaab aapke is hunar ke to ham qaayal ho ggaye hain...... aap insaan hain ya sher kahne ki machine..... idhar huqm huaa nahi ke udhar sher chapne shuru aur wo bhi is kadar ke bas waah waaahhh hi nikalta hai.................

har sher me aapki alag kareegaree nazar aatii hai bhai.... likhte rahen mahfil jamaate rahen....

Shaad.......


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sameer'shaad'
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16th August 2014, 09:30 AM

rooh ka dard kisiii ko nazar nahii aataa...
Qafas me qaid ye bulbul bahot tadaptee hai...


Shaad...
   
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Hassan
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Smile 18th August 2014, 12:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
waaaaahhhhh..... kyaa kahne hassan saahab... aalaa
bohat bohat sukriyaaH Shaad bhai!

milte rahiye ga,,


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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Hassan
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Hassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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Thumbs up 18th August 2014, 12:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
rooh ka dard kisiii ko nazar nahii aataa...
Qafas me qaid ye bulbul bahot tadaptee hai...
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

be-had umdaH Shaad bhai....... kamal ka likha hai ..


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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18th August 2014, 12:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ufaq View Post
Zarra bhai.....aapki bazm me kuch waqt haazir na ho saka iske liye....muaafi ataa kare....,,bhai....Qafas par meri bhi do - teen tukbandi pesh hai......

pade saiyyaad jab piichhe parinde ko samajh aaya
Qafas me'n hi raha hota , bhala hota , bura hota.


mujhko rahane hi De baaho.n me yu apni daayam
Tu qafas kholke panchhi ko udaata kyun hai


deed e falak navardee ki lazzat chali gayi
To kyaa huya qafas me'n agar andliib hai
wwwwwaaaaahhhhhh !!!!! jitni bhi daad tehseen pazeeraayee mubaarakbaad in aashaar par di jaaye Ufaq bhai ... bahaut hi kam hongi. in aashaar mein koyee sona hai, koyee moti, koyee heera ... bas ye tay kar paana mushkil hai ki kaun sa kya hai ... khayaal maani alfaaz bayaan rawaangi ... har pehlu kamaal ka hai ... aur lafz "qafas" ko n sirf khoobsurti se istemaal kiya hai balki us ke maayne ko bhi mukammal taur par pesh kiya hai !! anginat daad aur mubaarakbaad aap ko !!


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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18th August 2014, 12:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post

Qafas meiN qaid panchi ki khaber rakhna, ae saheb!
mazloom ki aah farsh to kia arsh tak hilaa deti hai....
Waaahhh !!!! Kya asardaar tarhap ka ehsaas daala hai sher mein !! Dheron daad Hassan bhai !


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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18th August 2014, 12:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
rooh ka dard kisiii ko nazar nahii aataa...
Qafas me qaid ye bulbul bahot tadaptee hai...
Wwwaaaahhhhh !!!! Behad hi khoobsurat sher !! Meethee zabaan, behta hua bayaan !! Aur is mein maani ka bhi khoobsurat khel laga mujhe ... baat bulbul ki rooh ki bhi ho sakti hai ya rooh jo ki bulbul ke jaisi hai ... donon qaid e qafas mein tadap rahi hain !!! Wwwaaaahhhhhh !!! Aur dheron dheron daad aur mubaarakbaad Shaad bhai !!!!


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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18th August 2014, 12:38 PM

shaq-o-gumaaN ke qafas khud bana liye hum ne
falak ko choomte girne ka jo n dar hota

- zarraa


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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sameer'shaad'
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18th August 2014, 01:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
Wwwaaaahhhhh !!!! Behad hi khoobsurat sher !! Meethee zabaan, behta hua bayaan !! Aur is mein maani ka bhi khoobsurat khel laga mujhe ... baat bulbul ki rooh ki bhi ho sakti hai ya rooh jo ki bulbul ke jaisi hai ... donon qaid e qafas mein tadap rahi hain !!! Wwwaaaahhhhhh !!! Aur dheron dheron daad aur mubaarakbaad Shaad bhai !!!!


behad inaayat hai aapki pazeeraai aur pasandeedgii pe zarraa saahab......
wese aapki paarkhi nazar ka main qaayal ho gaya hoon.. kis gharaai me aap utar gaye jahaan tak shaayd main bhi utraa tha is sher ko likhne me, lekin tajjub uus baat ka hai ke aapne ise catch kar liyaa..... ye hunar kisii sacche shaayar me hi ho sakta hai jo dusre shayar k jazbaaton ko copy kar sake.... i am glad to have you and your blessings......

thanks once again do keep coming and sharing your views...

Shaad....


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sameer'shaad'
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18th August 2014, 01:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
shaq-o-gumaaN ke qafas khud bana liye hum ne
falak ko choomte girne ka jo n dar hota

- zarraa
waaahhhhh zarraa bhai kyaa aalaa peshkash hai kyaa sher kahaa hai aapne bahot hi khoob.........mazaa aa gaya padh kar.....

kyaa khoob tareeqe se qafas ka istemaal kiyaa hai aapne... aur behad sacche ehsaas se rubarooo karaata hai ye sher...... na jaane kitni bandishon me aaj ham ghire hue hain..... hamne khud ko hi qaid kar liyaa hai is qafas me jo na ho kar bhi moujood hai..... bahot mubaarak ho mere bhai aaapko ye sher.... aage bhi karishmaai sher ka hame intzaar rahega.....

Shaad.....


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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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18th August 2014, 07:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
behad inaayat hai aapki pazeeraai aur pasandeedgii pe zarraa saahab......
wese aapki paarkhi nazar ka main qaayal ho gaya hoon.. kis gharaai me aap utar gaye jahaan tak shaayd main bhi utraa tha is sher ko likhne me, lekin tajjub uus baat ka hai ke aapne ise catch kar liyaa..... ye hunar kisii sacche shaayar me hi ho sakta hai jo dusre shayar k jazbaaton ko copy kar sake.... i am glad to have you and your blessings......

thanks once again do keep coming and sharing your views...

Shaad....
Thank you for your kind words my friend .......


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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18th August 2014, 07:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
waaahhhhh zarraa bhai kyaa aalaa peshkash hai kyaa sher kahaa hai aapne bahot hi khoob.........mazaa aa gaya padh kar.....

kyaa khoob tareeqe se qafas ka istemaal kiyaa hai aapne... aur behad sacche ehsaas se rubarooo karaata hai ye sher...... na jaane kitni bandishon me aaj ham ghire hue hain..... hamne khud ko hi qaid kar liyaa hai is qafas me jo na ho kar bhi moujood hai..... bahot mubaarak ho mere bhai aaapko ye sher.... aage bhi karishmaai sher ka hame intzaar rahega.....

Shaad.....
bahaut bahaut shukriya Shaad bhai is sher ko dil se apnaane ke liye aur is tarah hausla afzaayee karne ke liye !! tah e dil se mashqoor hoon aap ka !!


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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18th August 2014, 07:34 PM

dostoN ... ek chhota sa experience ya experiment keh lein, aap se share karna chaahoonga .... ki kaise is bazm mein huwee guftagoo se kuchh seekh kar use apply karne ki koshish ki hai .. apne ek sher ko improve karne ke liye ...

mera ek pehle kaha huwa sher tha jis meiN lafz "qafas" ka istemaal huwa tha (wo ghazal SDC mein pehle arz kari huwee hai) ...

http://www.shayri.com/forums/showthread.php?t=74881

pehle ka sher kucch is tarah tha ...

mere hum-safar barhe shauq se deiN qafas ki mujh ko mubaarakeiN
mera raah-bar saiyaad ki bhi barhe jatan se safaayee de
-zarraa


is sher meiN "qafas" se match karne ke liye haalanki "saiyaad" ka zikr tha, lekin baaki 2 symbols "hum-safar" aur "raah-bar" kisi "safar" se related symbols the na ki "qafas" se related ...haalanki hum ne pehle ye kaha hai ki lafz ke figurative meaning ka bridge ya correlation banaane ke liye ek hint bhi kaafi hai .... lekin phir main ne socha ki symbols ko mix kyoon kiya jaaye, saare ke saare symbols "qafas" se hi relate kar ke dekhte hain, taaki sher single minded ban sake aur shaayad lutf halka sa barh sake ...

to is sher ko modify kar ke, kuchh aisa kar diya hai ....

sabhi hum-nasheen-e-chaman mere deiN qafas ki haNs ke mubaarakeiN
mujhe baaghbaaN saiyaad ki hai barhe jatan se safaayee de
-zarraa


ab ye koshish theek rahi ki ghalat, lutf barh gaya ki ghat gaya, ya koyee aur khaami paida ho gayee hai, ya koyee khaami pehle se hi maujood thi jo durust naheen ho paayee hai, in sab maslon par rehnumaayee ke liye ahl-e-bazm ka muntazir rahoonga ...


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha

Last edited by zarraa; 18th August 2014 at 08:11 PM..
   
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Thumbs up 18th August 2014, 08:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
shaq-o-gumaaN ke qafas khud bana liye hum ne
falak ko choomte girne ka jo n dar hota

- zarraa
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaH!

bohat khoob... aik naya aur behtareeen khiyaal..

DherooN daad-o-mubarakbaad Zarraa saheb...

meHfil roshan karte rahiye...


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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Hassan
Some Mirrors Lie...
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Thumbs up 18th August 2014, 09:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post

mere hum-safar barhe shauq se deiN qafas ki mujh ko mubaarakeiN
mera raah-bar saiyaad ki bhi barhe jatan se safaayee de
-zarraa


sabhi hum-nasheen-e-chaman mere deiN qafas ki haNs ke mubaarakeiN
mujhe baaghbaaN saiyaad ki hai barhe jatan se safaayee de
-zarraa


wahhh zarraa saheb...

shair ke dono roop haseeN haiN.....

pehle shair ki apni aik khasiyat aur jagaH hai...
kyuN ke ussi ke wajah se aap ki aik behtareen ghazal mukamal huii!

aur dosre shair ne fusoon-e-alfaaz ke liye khaas jalway bikharay...

Allah kare zor-e-Qalam aur ziyaadaH! ..

DuaooN ke saath,


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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