Shayri.com  

Go Back   Shayri.com > Shayri > Shayri Ki Paathshaala

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rating: Thread Rating: 2 votes, 5.00 average. Display Modes
Old
  (#41)
sameer'shaad'
~$uper M0der@tor~
sameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
sameer'shaad''s Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 8,375
Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 55
20th June 2014, 04:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
mai bhool gai thi......Shaad kidhar hai aur koi kafiya nahin mila tha

Anyway ill try
hehehehe..... are dekhiye na saahab qaafiyon ki line laggaa di hai zidd saahab aur aadeil bhai ne...... ab bhi kyaa mere qaafiye se dushmanii hai aapko..


Shaad...
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#42)
sameer'shaad'
~$uper M0der@tor~
sameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
sameer'shaad''s Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 8,375
Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 55
20th June 2014, 04:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
kuch aur kaafiye..
thaanii
faanii
jaanii
machaanii
nibhaanii
sajaani
sunaanii
bitaanii
hamdam-e-jaanii = sympathizer of beloved
jalaanii
banaanii
sataanii
javaanii
ravaanii
ga.nvaanii
bayaanii
sayaanii (siyaanii)

Maybe this will help

haahahahahaha.... Aadeil saahab ne to dukaan hi khol dii.....

mujhe nahi lagtaa ab koi qaafiyaa baaki rahaa hogaa..... aapne ye saare qaafiye darz to nahi karaa diye zidd saahab ke paas.. warnaa baaki members bechaare kaise likhenge...... lol


Shaad...
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#43)
aadeil
Registered User
aadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud of
 
aadeil's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 1,646
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mumbai, India
Rep Power: 17
20th June 2014, 05:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
lekin radeef se bhi to mel khani chahiye na.
maine kuch examples diye haiN.. niche ke post meN.. shaayad helpful ho...



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



http://www.shayri.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic89874_2.gif
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#44)
aadeil
Registered User
aadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud of
 
aadeil's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 1,646
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mumbai, India
Rep Power: 17
20th June 2014, 05:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
haahahahahaha.... Aadeil saahab ne to dukaan hi khol dii.....

mujhe nahi lagtaa ab koi qaafiyaa baaki rahaa hogaa..... aapne ye saare qaafiye darz to nahi karaa diye zidd saahab ke paas.. warnaa baaki members bechaare kaise likhenge...... lol
ha haaa haaa.... arrey nahi Shoib bhai..... vaise bhii Ziddsaab ne rule rakha hai ki ek hi sher darj kar sakte haiN



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



http://www.shayri.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic89874_2.gif
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#45)
zidd
Registered User
zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zidd's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 41
20th June 2014, 05:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
ha haaa haaa.... arrey nahi Shoib bhai..... vaise bhii Ziddsaab ne rule rakha hai ki ek hi sher darj kar sakte haiN
lagta hai aap logo ko rhyming dictionery nahi mili koi abtak.

ye lijiye..

http://dsal.uchicago.edu/dictionaries/platts/

mere khayaaal se is ghazalke liye hi 400 qafiye mil jayenge. lol

jaise chahe waise search mariye...
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#46)
aadeil
Registered User
aadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud of
 
aadeil's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 1,646
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mumbai, India
Rep Power: 17
20th June 2014, 05:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
mai bhi ek kaccha sher yaha post kar deta hu...last me chamkayenge...
koi aur chahe to haath saaf kar sakta hai apna....ulaa jalebi ki tarah bana hai...lol...yes -no-yes-no

Mai bhi ashiq ,nahi hone ka, bharam rakh lunga
Tum bhi kah dena ke afwaah puraani hai ye
Ziddsaab, agar aapko aitraaz na ho toh.... ek suggestion
Mai bhi ashiq ,nahi hone ka, bharam rakh lunga
Tum bhi kahna teri aadat puraani hai ye




ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



http://www.shayri.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic89874_2.gif

Last edited by aadeil; 20th June 2014 at 05:27 PM..
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#47)
zidd
Registered User
zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zidd's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 41
20th June 2014, 05:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
Ziddsaab, agar aapko aitraaz na ho toh.... ek suggestion
Mai bhi ashiq ,nahi hone ka, bharam rakh lunga
Tum bhi kahna teri aadat puraani hai ye

bahut acchi koshish hai bhai....
ek baaar aur kijiye...

takhatub ka zara isue hai...TUM - TERI.....aapke sher me 'unse' istemaal kiya hai aapne ....so mai ab 'teri' nahi kar sakta ....

ek try aur mariye....

finally ghazal me dekhte hai sab sher ko milakar ki kya takhatub suitable hai...
but in the while u can always practice.,...good one bro.
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#48)
aadeil
Registered User
aadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud of
 
aadeil's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 1,646
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mumbai, India
Rep Power: 17
20th June 2014, 05:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
bahut acchi koshish hai bhai....
ek baaar aur kijiye...

takhatub ka zara isue hai...TUM - TERI.....aapke sher me 'unse' istemaal kiya hai aapne ....so mai ab 'teri' nahi kar sakta ....

ek try aur mariye....

finally ghazal me dekhte hai sab sher ko milakar ki kya takhatub suitable hai...
but in the while u can always practice.,...good one bro.
Ziddsaab, TUM - TERI ko dhyan meN rakhke misra nahi banaayaa hai, aapke misra-e-uulaa ka 'Mai' pe gaur farmaayaa hai...

Mai bhi ashiq ,nahi hone ka, bharam rakh lunga
Tum bhi kahna, (teri) ?? aadat puraani hai ye

yaa phir..
Mai bhi aashiq ,nahi hone ka, bharam rakh lunga
Tum bhi kahna, (meri) ?? aadat puraani hai ye

yaa phir..
Mai bhi aashiq ,azeem hone ka, fareb kar lunga
Tum se keh dooN, meri fitrat puraani hai ye
(zyaadaa rumaani toh nahi ho rahaa hai na?



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



http://www.shayri.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic89874_2.gif

Last edited by aadeil; 20th June 2014 at 06:24 PM..
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#49)
N@zneen
Banned
N@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud of
 
Offline
Posts: 3,689
Join Date: Jan 2009
Rep Power: 0
20th June 2014, 05:58 PM

Zidd, Shaad ne jo matlaa diya wo rumani hai lekin tumhari is sher ka jhukao dard ki taraf hai, feelings match nahin horahi hain.

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post

Mai bhi ashiq ,nahi hone ka, bharam rakh lunga
Tum bhi kah dena ke afwaah puraani hai ye
Waise damdaar sher hai mujhe bahot achchi lagi.
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#50)
N@zneen
Banned
N@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud of
 
Offline
Posts: 3,689
Join Date: Jan 2009
Rep Power: 0
20th June 2014, 06:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
Ziddsaab, TUM - TERI ko dhyan meN rakhke misra nahi banaayaa hai, aapke misra-e-uulaa ka 'Mai' pe gaur farmaayaa hai...

Mai bhi ashiq ,nahi hone ka, bharam rakh lunga
Tum bhi kahna, (teri) ?? aadat puraani hai ye

yaa phir..
Mai bhi aashiq ,nahi hone ka, bharam rakh lunga
Tum bhi kahna, (meri) ?? aadat puraani hai ye
Aadil zidd ne second line me jo 'afwaa' word use kiya hai wo frst line ko achchese support kr rahi hai 'aadat' word sher ki intensity khatam kr rahi hai aur meaning bhi change kr rahi hai.

Pehli baat to zidd ki sher matlaa k mood k hisabse sahi nahin lag rahi hai
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#51)
zidd
Registered User
zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zidd's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 41
20th June 2014, 06:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
Ziddsaab, TUM - TERI ko dhyan meN rakhke misra nahi banaayaa hai, aapke misra-e-uulaa ka 'Mai' pe gaur farmaayaa hai...

Mai bhi ashiq ,nahi hone ka, bharam rakh lunga
Tum bhi kahna, (teri) ?? aadat puraani hai ye

yaa phir..
Mai bhi aashiq ,nahi hone ka, bharam rakh lunga
Tum bhi kahna, (meri) ?? aadat puraani hai ye
mai-hum ya rakh lunga , ya rakh lenge , is sher me ya
aur dusre sher jitne ayenge unki design, aakaar, takhatub, ye sab jab ek ghazal ke hisaab se unify honge , tab bahut se sher change honge, thode thode.

---------------------
for the moment.....
tum bhi kahna - seems to be an order/request .
tum bhi kah dena - implies melancholy, nonchalance...something akin to...tum bhi ya yaad rakhoge yaar........

magar ye to sirf abtak ki baat hai....it will have to change as well as you say.

lekin accha hai ki kuch baate clear ho jaaye...aur waise bhi usse idea milta hai ki kya karna hai.
so your effort is highly appreciated, in giving alternatives.

last me dimag chalunga finally.all will get a chance after that also..to provide corrections.
--------------------------------
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#52)
zidd
Registered User
zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zidd's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 41
20th June 2014, 06:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Aadil zidd ne second line me jo 'afwaa' word use kiya hai wo frst line ko achchese support kr rahi hai 'aadat' word sher ki intensity khatam kr rahi hai aur meaning bhi change kr rahi hai.

Pehli baat to zidd ki sher matlaa k mood k hisabse sahi nahin lag rahi hai
naaz , mood can be easily changed with very little effort.

isliye kaha ki kaccha hai

lets see what we get...

and u get your sher here naaz

rakh de yaha...sab idea denge tujhe, a bit less work for you
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#53)
aadeil
Registered User
aadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud of
 
aadeil's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 1,646
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mumbai, India
Rep Power: 17
20th June 2014, 06:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
naaz , mood can be easily changed with very little effort.

isliye kaha ki kaccha hai

lets see what we get...

and u get your sher here naaz

rakh de yaha...sab idea denge tujhe, a bit less work for you
Zidd saab,
maiN toh mere usee post ko edit kar rahaa tha :P...

tab tak toh aap logo ke replies bhii aa gaye...

anyways..... aapne sahi farmaayaa... end meN kaafi changes or suggestions kii apeksha rahengee



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



http://www.shayri.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic89874_2.gif
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#54)
N@zneen
Banned
N@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud of
 
Offline
Posts: 3,689
Join Date: Jan 2009
Rep Power: 0
20th June 2014, 09:44 PM


Guys meri sher bhi ready hai ab isko beh'r me bithao
mera to sar dukhne laga




Le rahiin hain imtehaan ye shabaab ye shokhiiyaan
Unki qurbat se tishnagii ab mitaanii hai ye

Last edited by N@zneen; 20th June 2014 at 10:12 PM..
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#55)
Fathomless
Amorist
Fathomless is a splendid one to beholdFathomless is a splendid one to beholdFathomless is a splendid one to beholdFathomless is a splendid one to beholdFathomless is a splendid one to beholdFathomless is a splendid one to beholdFathomless is a splendid one to behold
 
Fathomless's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 2,283
Join Date: Aug 2008
Rep Power: 21
Thumbs up 21st June 2014, 10:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Guys meri sher bhi ready hai ab isko beh'r me bithao
mera to sar dukhne laga



Le rahiin hain imtehaan ye shabaab ye shokhiiyaan

Unki qurbat se tishnagii ab mitaanii hai ye
bahot khoob.........................


Save me from the safety of my SILENCE
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#56)
N@zneen
Banned
N@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud of
 
Offline
Posts: 3,689
Join Date: Jan 2009
Rep Power: 0
21st June 2014, 11:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fathomless View Post
bahot khoob.........................

Welcome back shan.......missed you sweetie

Waise abhi mere sher ki postmortem baaki hai
phir bhi thnx for appreciating
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#57)
N@zneen
Banned
N@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud of
 
Offline
Posts: 3,689
Join Date: Jan 2009
Rep Power: 0
21st June 2014, 03:21 PM

Mere sher ko khariz kar do mai doosra sher likhungi qki baaki 3 sher ke muqable its too bold

Phirse dimaag use karna padega
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#58)
zainy
Aapki dost
zainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zainy's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 7,293
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 51
21st June 2014, 09:26 PM

Ufffffffff!...shaad sahab aapko koi aur behr nahi mili thi. ...

Upar se kafiya radeef sab tough...mujh se nahi ban raha koi achcha sher. ....




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

Nm
  Send a message via MSN to zainy  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#59)
Harash Mahajan
MaiN Our Meri Tanhaayii
Harash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud ofHarash Mahajan has much to be proud of
 
Harash Mahajan's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 984
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 26
21st June 2014, 10:11 PM

waah janaab bahut khoob..........kitnii sunder bazm sajaayii hai aap sabne.....bahut hi behtareen Corner chuna hai aapne...mehfil sajaane meiN maahir haiN aap sab....waah .....kya ham bhi yahaN silent rehkar kuchh seekh sakte haiN kya ? agar izaazat ho to ....


Kitne alfaazoN se ye ghazal sajaoge tum,
Lagta hai zidd sahab kii meharbaani hai ye.
  Send a message via Yahoo to Harash Mahajan Send a message via MSN to Harash Mahajan  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#60)
N@zneen
Banned
N@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud of
 
Offline
Posts: 3,689
Join Date: Jan 2009
Rep Power: 0
21st June 2014, 10:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
Ufffffffff!...shaad sahab aapko koi aur behr nahi mili thi. ...

Upar se kafiya radeef sab tough...mujh se nahi ban raha koi achcha sher. ....

Same here Zainy dimag ki dahii hogai
kahan hai culprit............SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#61)
zidd
Registered User
zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zidd's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 41
21st June 2014, 11:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Harash Mahajan View Post
waah janaab bahut khoob..........kitnii sunder bazm sajaayii hai aap sabne.....bahut hi behtareen Corner chuna hai aapne...mehfil sajaane meiN maahir haiN aap sab....waah .....kya ham bhi yahaN silent rehkar kuchh seekh sakte haiN kya ? agar izaazat ho to ....


Kitne alfaazoN se ye ghazal sajaoge tum,
Lagta hai zidd sahab kii meharbaani hai ye.
harsh sahab aapi koshish acchi hai...bus ghazal me kisi shayar ka naam nahi aa sakta...

ap zara phirse koshish kijiye....behr se zyada qafiye par gaur kijiye.

once more harsh ji.
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#62)
zidd
Registered User
zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zidd's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 41
21st June 2014, 11:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post

Same here Zainy dimag ki dahii hogai
kahan hai culprit............SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

waise ek idea hai mere paas...

agar ladkiya soche ki vo bhuddhi ho gayin hai to accha sher banaa saktin hai.

ab try kijiye....apni personality badal kar...first class sher banega.
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#63)
sameer'shaad'
~$uper M0der@tor~
sameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
sameer'shaad''s Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 8,375
Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 55
22nd June 2014, 12:05 AM

hahahaha... zidd saahab aap kyaa kahte hain..... in sab girls ke to bas ke baahar ki baat lagtiii hai....

ufff zainy and Naaz aap dono ke liye koi baat hai kyaa.... aap koi bbhi qaafiya ya radeef chun lijiye... main announce arwa doonga ke aap log ki kacchii got hai....


Shaad...
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#64)
zainy
Aapki dost
zainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zainy's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 7,293
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 51
22nd June 2014, 12:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
waise ek idea hai mere paas...

agar ladkiya soche ki vo bhuddhi ho gayin hai to accha sher banaa saktin hai.

ab try kijiye....apni personality badal kar...first class sher banega.

tauba tauba...aysa to him kwaab me bhi nahi soch sakte...

....aur wo bhi ek sher ke liye yo kabhi nahi...




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

Nm
  Send a message via MSN to zainy  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#65)
N@zneen
Banned
N@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud of
 
Offline
Posts: 3,689
Join Date: Jan 2009
Rep Power: 0
22nd June 2014, 12:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
waise ek idea hai mere paas...

agar ladkiya soche ki vo bhuddhi ho gayin hai to accha sher banaa saktin hai.

ab try kijiye....apni personality badal kar...first class sher banega.
Thanks dadaji but no thanks hum kamsin hasinayein apni personality ko change kiye bina hi sher likhenge just wait n watch
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#66)
zidd
Registered User
zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zidd's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 41
22nd June 2014, 12:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Thanks dadaji but no thanks hum kamsin hasinayein apni personality ko change kiye bina hi sher likhenge just wait n watch
ab dadaji kahaa hai to zyada wait mat karwana.......
dum na nikal jaaye sher aane se pahle
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#67)
N@zneen
Banned
N@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud of
 
Offline
Posts: 3,689
Join Date: Jan 2009
Rep Power: 0
22nd June 2014, 01:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
hahahaha... zidd saahab aap kyaa kahte hain..... in sab girls ke to bas ke baahar ki baat lagtiii hai....

ufff zainy and Naaz aap dono ke liye koi baat hai kyaa.... aap koi bbhi qaafiya ya radeef chun lijiye... main announce arwa doonga ke aap log ki kacchii got hai....
Apki badi baachein khil rahi hain miyan hamara waqt bhi ayega jab next matlaa zainy degi

@Zidd: next matlaa zainy k naam reserve karne ki appeal hai meri tarafse
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#68)
zidd
Registered User
zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zidd's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 41
22nd June 2014, 01:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Apki badi baachein khil rahi hain miyan hamara waqt bhi ayega jab next matlaa zainy degi

@Zidd: next matlaa zainy k naam reserve karne ki appeal hai meri tarafse
sure Maai...ab amma ki baat kaun taal sakta hai..?

jo hukm dogi wahi hoga

Last edited by zidd; 22nd June 2014 at 11:47 AM..
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#69)
sameer'shaad'
~$uper M0der@tor~
sameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
sameer'shaad''s Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 8,375
Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 55
22nd June 2014, 01:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
sure Maai...ab amma ki baat kaun taal sakta hai..?

jo hukm dogi wahi hoga
hahahaha ab aayegaa muqaable me mazaa , warnaa mujhe to lagaa ke in dono haseenaaon se kahin main akela na padd jaaun...... lol

Zidd saahab welcome ...


Shaad...

Last edited by zidd; 22nd June 2014 at 05:54 PM..
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#70)
zainy
Aapki dost
zainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zainy's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 7,293
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 51
23rd June 2014, 12:47 PM

DostoN yeh " paani " kafiya kuch jam nahi raha...I think I should try something else. ..

Kisi ko chahiye to le sakte hain yeh kaafiya...sirf aadhe daam me...jald kijiye offer khatm ho jayega......




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

Nm
  Send a message via MSN to zainy  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#71)
sameer'shaad'
~$uper M0der@tor~
sameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
sameer'shaad''s Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 8,375
Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 55
23rd June 2014, 01:46 PM

hahhahahaha.... amaa sudhhar jaao ab...

chalo ye bataao ab tumne kaunsa qaafiyaa register karwaayaa hai...


Shaad...
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#72)
zainy
Aapki dost
zainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zainy's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 7,293
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 51
23rd June 2014, 01:49 PM

Hahaha. ..lolzzz. hum to ayse.hi hain.......

Ab tak pata nahi...............kaunsa kaafiye use karungi....




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

Nm
  Send a message via MSN to zainy  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#73)
sameer'shaad'
~$uper M0der@tor~
sameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
sameer'shaad''s Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 8,375
Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 55
23rd June 2014, 01:54 PM

mujhse help le saktii hain aap.... magar fees advance me bhijwaani hogi..

wese aap accept agar kar len to ain account details pm kar dunga... lol hahhaha


Shaad...
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#74)
Ahmad Hyderabadi
Registered Member
Ahmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant futureAhmad Hyderabadi has a brilliant future
 
Offline
Posts: 933
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hyderabad (Deccan)
Rep Power: 26
23rd June 2014, 02:14 PM

Aadaab bhaeeo, my draft couplet... I repeat D R A F T couplet.. just a suggestion.. please repair.. will be back after a few hours...Insha Allah!

Har ik gul kee tarha khiltee nahee ujaalaon mayn,
Karay mad-hosh ye shab, raat kee raani hai ye!


Duagoh

Ahmad
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#75)
aadeil
Registered User
aadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud of
 
aadeil's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 1,646
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mumbai, India
Rep Power: 17
23rd June 2014, 03:44 PM

arre baapre!
lagta hai 2 din meN kaafii kuch miss kiya maine

Nazneen/Zainy aap dono ko maanna padega..... itne kaafiye muft meN de diye Zidd saab ne aur maine, saath meN kaee hadd tak radeef bhii jod dee..... ab toh Shoaib bhai ne bataayaaa vaise fees lenee padegii

Shoaib bhai, zaraa fees barabar charge karna meN meri bhii account details bhej rahaa hooN LOLzz



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



http://www.shayri.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic89874_2.gif
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#76)
zainy
Aapki dost
zainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
zainy's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 7,293
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 51
23rd June 2014, 04:04 PM

8 ashaar ban gaye ab tak...per mujhe aur bhi achcha waala likhna hai....

Yeh mat samajhna aap dono ke zainy se ek sher nahi ban raha..

Kisi ko chahiye to bolo ek ek sher 1 lakh ka hai....




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

Nm
  Send a message via MSN to zainy  
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#77)
N@zneen
Banned
N@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud of
 
Offline
Posts: 3,689
Join Date: Jan 2009
Rep Power: 0
23rd June 2014, 04:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
arre baapre!
lagta hai 2 din meN kaafii kuch miss kiya maine

Nazneen/Zainy aap dono ko maanna padega..... itne kaafiye muft meN de diye Zidd saab ne aur maine, saath meN kaee hadd tak radeef bhii jod dee..... ab toh Shoaib bhai ne bataayaaa vaise fees lenee padegii

Shoaib bhai, zaraa fees barabar charge karna meN meri bhii account details bhej rahaa hooN LOLzz
Problem ye bhi hai ki humlog ko male ki tarah sochna hai qki ghazal male point of view ki hai so hamari difficulties double hojati hain

Isliye zada hairaan hone ki zarurat nahin
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#78)
N@zneen
Banned
N@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud ofN@zneen has much to be proud of
 
Offline
Posts: 3,689
Join Date: Jan 2009
Rep Power: 0
23rd June 2014, 04:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
8 ashaar ban gaye ab tak...per mujhe aur bhi achcha waala likhna hai....

Yeh mat samajhna aap dono ke zainy se ek sher nahi ban raha..

Kisi ko chahiye to bolo ek ek sher 1 lakh ka hai....

Maine to ek sher post bhi kar di lekin ladkon ka hazma kharab hogaya
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#79)
sameer'shaad'
~$uper M0der@tor~
sameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
sameer'shaad''s Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 8,375
Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 55
23rd June 2014, 04:28 PM

Naaz relax.............................................


maanaa ke garmii se yahaaN aksar chaTak jaate hain log.
par Shaad ke matle ko sunkar bhii aTak jaate hain log..


Zainy aur Naaz thodi si mushkil aasaan kar deta hoon aap dono ki (wo bhi bina fees liye)
asal me ye ghazal na hi male point of view hai na female its just a common sher which represents your feel towards your beloved site SDC...

maine apne sher me SDC ko kissii chandramukhi ki tarah se represent kiya hai , jo ki devdas ka tab saath detii hai jab use paro ka sahaara nahi milaa... so ye kaisii lagii aapko kyaa khaas bat hai ski kaise sahaara diyaa isne aapko.... wo hame apne sher me likhnaa hai to ab koshish kijiye aur haan ab bhi naa bane to mera account number main bhej rahaa hoon.......


Shaad...
   
Reply With Quote
Old
  (#80)
Qasid
Super Mod
Qasid has a brilliant futureQasid has a brilliant futureQasid has a brilliant futureQasid has a brilliant futureQasid has a brilliant futureQasid has a brilliant futureQasid has a brilliant futureQasid has a brilliant futureQasid has a brilliant futureQasid has a brilliant futureQasid has a brilliant future
 
Qasid's Avatar
 
Offline
Posts: 3,882
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 40
23rd June 2014, 06:21 PM

Bahut is umdaa bazm sajaayi hai zidd bhai aapne..nacheez ka salaam qubool farmayein...

jald hi shirkat karungaa apne sher ke saath

aapka apnaa



Qasid


___________________________________________

नाम-ए-वफ़ा की जफ़ा बताएं
क्या है ज़हन में क्या बोल जाएँ

रफ़्तार-ए-दिल अब थम सी गयी है
'क़ासिद' पर अब है टिकी निगाहें
  Send a message via Yahoo to Qasid Send a message via AIM to Qasid  
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com