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LakeeroN se ab Utar Bhi Jaayega...! |
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(#1)
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Sifar
  
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Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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LakeeroN se ab Utar Bhi Jaayega...! -
27th December 2009, 11:40 PM
आदाब.....
एक ताज़ा ग़ज़ल बहर-ए-रमाल मुसद्दस महजूफ मे आपकी नज़र कर रहा हूँ... जैसा लगे ज़ाहिर कर दीजियेगा...ज्यादा कहा नहीं जाता... ======================= बहर:- रमाल मुसद्दस महजूफ (Faa-i -laa-tun Faa-i-laa -tun Faa-i-lun)(2122 2122 212 – In Digit) ======================== टूट कर रिश्ता बिखर भी जायेगा... रोयेगा ये बस जिधर भी जायेगा... खोखले चेहरे पे काज़िब सी हंसी ... अब तो मुझसे ये जौहर भी जाएगा.. मिट न पायेंगे निशां ये होंठों से ... रूप तेरा हाँ निखर भी जायेगा... जब गली मे तेरी होगी रोशनी... घर कोई तब जल इधर भी जायेगा जिस्म को होने दो जल के राख अब... फिर तड़पता ये जिगर भी जाएगा.. है अभी अहसास जीने का मुझे.. जल्द ही बन्दा गुज़र भी जाएगा... और... ! था 'सिफर' तेरी हतेली की हिना ... जो लकीरों से उतर भी जायेगा,... ===================== कुनाल (सिफर) :- २८-१२-२००९ In Roman:- Aadaab, Ek taaza ghazal bahar-e-ramaal musaddas mahzuuf mai aapke nazar kar raha huN… jaisa lage zaahir kar dijiyega.. jyada kaha nahi jaata… ============================ Behar:- Ramaal musaddas mahzuuf(Faa-i -laa-tun Faa-i-laa -tun Faa-i-lun)(2122 2122 212 – In Digit) ============================ Toot kar rishta bikhar hi jaayega... Royega ye bas jidhar bhi jaayega… Khokhle Chehre pe kaazib* hansi fir.. Ab to mujhse ye jauhar bhi jaayega… *Kaazib – jhoothi Mit na paayenge nishaaN ye honthoN se.. Roop tera haaN nikhar bhi jaayega… Jab gali mai teri hogi roshani… Ghar koi tab, jal idhar bhi jaayega… Jism ko hone do jal ke raakh ab… Fir tadapta ye jigar bhi jayega… Hai abhi ehsaas jeene ka mujhe… Jald hi banda guzar bhi jayega,.. Aur…! Tha ‘sifar’ teri hateli ki hinaa… Jo lakeeroN se utar bhi jayega,,,… ========================= Kunaal(Sifar) :- 28-12-2009 Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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Very Touchy |
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(#2)
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Ankahi Kahaani
Offline
Posts: 438
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA
Rep Power: 23
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Very Touchy -
28th December 2009, 12:44 AM
Kunal ji ...har baar ki tarahaa is baar bhi aapka likha huaa dil ko chhu gaya. aur rahi baher ki aur sab ki baat to aap to jaanate hi hai ki hume yeh sab naa likhana aata hai naa hi samajh na aata hai .... haan aapse sikhate sikhate shaayad ek din sikh jaaun .
 ...never know ...par aapke ehsaas bahot hi achchhe dil ko chhoone waale rahe ... baher humaari samajh aaye na aaye ...par ehsaas hume shaayad achchhe se samajh aate hai ...  hum ek request kare aapko...?? aapko bahot baar padha hai aur hammesha hi aapke ehsaason ne dil mai jagahaa banaai hai ....par hume lagataa hai ki shaayad kaafi arasaa guzar gaya aapki kalam se likhe gaye khushiyon ke nagamon ko padhe huye .... kya aap apani is dost ki request maan ke jaldi hi koi khushi ka nagmaa likhenge ..??? hum chaahate hai ki aapke dard ne bahot dil ko chhu liya ... ab kyon na aapki likhi koi khushi hi dil ko chhu jaaye .....  yeh sirf humaari chaah hai ... zaroori nahi aapko achchha lage ....agar koi baat buri lagi ho to maaf kar dijiyega ..please. Bhagwaan ji aapko hammesha khush rakhe, Aapki Dost: Gudia Jay Ambe. Puri Hoke Bhi Jo Puri Na Ho Hoon Zindagi Ki Wo Ankahi Kahaani...... ------------------------------------------------------------ Ek Aaina Jiski Tasveer Dhundhla Gai, Ek Dil Jiski Dhadkan Ruksi Gai, Ek Zindagi Jiski Manzil Ka Koi Pata Hi Nahi, Ek Daaman Jahaan Se Khushiyaan Galti Se Bhi Guzarti Nahi. |
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(#3)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 545
Join Date: Feb 2009
Rep Power: 25
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28th December 2009, 03:11 AM
Kunaal sahab bhut achi ghazal se nawaaza hai aapne, saare aashaar hi mashallah se achay hai.n khaas kar ke mujhay aapka maqta bhut pasnd aaya, daad hazir hai qubool farmaaiyega,
Tha ‘sifar’ teri hateli ki hinaa… Jo lakeeroN se ab utar bhi jayega,,,… bhut hi khoob. aslam behta dariya hu.n mujhy haath se choo kar daikho |
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(#4)
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Banned
Offline
Posts: 2,586
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Delhi
Rep Power: 0
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28th December 2009, 03:13 AM
Quote:
Lo bhayee ab to gudia ki baat rakh hi lo nahi to Ambe ma ke hatho khair nahi tumhari |
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(#5)
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Banned
Offline
Posts: 2,586
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Delhi
Rep Power: 0
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28th December 2009, 03:17 AM
Ek aur baat .........
is ghazal se yakeen ho gaya hai . ab aag tumhari . bahut paak ho gayee hia... jitni jalegi sirf ulaja degi jalayegi nahi ab mohabbat ishq tak pahucnh gayee hai bhayee khush ho jao............... is aag mai paka lo jitni chahe ghazle bahut swaad banti hai maine chakhi hain |
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(#6)
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Anshumali
Offline
Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
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28th December 2009, 09:43 AM
Kunaal Ji...Aadaab !
" Yeh aisi aag hai jisme dhunaa nahi miltaa..... " bahut khub rahi aapki yeh peshkash bhi......hamesha ki taraha.........sabhi ashaar apne dard ki daansta khud hi bayaan kar rahe hai........padhkar acha hi nahi laga......balki gehraai tak utar gaye....har sher taarif ke kabil hai.........yuhi likhte rahiye.... +++reps tahe dil se daad hazir hai........kabul ki jiye..... khush rahiye... apna khayal rakhiye... duaaon ke saath....  YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
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(#7)
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Some Mirrors Lie...
Offline
Posts: 3,133
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Shehr-e-husn
Rep Power: 44
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28th December 2009, 09:50 AM
Tha ‘sifar’ teri hateli ki hinaa…
Jo lakeeroN se ab utar bhi jayega,,,… Kunaal Bhai, Kia ghazab dhaaya hai janab.... Maqta boht hi zaberdast likha hai,,,, I like it a lot..... Regardz,, tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di! kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN... ("Asad") |
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(#8)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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28th December 2009, 06:14 PM
Quote:
Mujhe khushi hai tumhe mera likha har baar pasand aata hai ... aur main shukraguzaar bhi huN iska... rahi baat behr ki to main abhi iska B bhi nahi jaanta .. bas koshish zaari hai... rahi baat ishq pe likhne ki ... tau maiN banawti kabhi likh nahi paaya .. khuda se dua rahegi ki main jald hi kuch accha likhuN.. ab ye jald kab aayega.. ye maiN nahi keh sakta... tum aayi tumhara shukraguzaar huN mai... Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#9)
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Super Mod
Offline
Posts: 3,901
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 45
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28th December 2009, 07:00 PM
Quote:
Behad Khoob Kunaal. Har sher mein bunawat aur barikiyat ka pura khayaal rakha hai tumne. Muqammal si rachna hai yeh..pur asar, yunhi likhte raho bhai..kuch aur dhaage jod raha hoon hai guzarish ki na aane mere janaaze pe tumhe rota hua kya dekha bhi jaayega tumhara apnaa Qasid ___________________________________________ नाम-ए-वफ़ा की जफ़ा बताएं क्या है ज़हन में क्या बोल जाएँ रफ़्तार-ए-दिल अब थम सी गयी है 'क़ासिद' पर अब है टिकी निगाहें |
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(#10)
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beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
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28th December 2009, 07:42 PM
awsome.................. very very touchy......i m speechless...... keep up the good work....khush rahiye....
rep++++++++++++++++++++++++++....  "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko’ii hamnaam teraa , ko’ii tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
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(#11)
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masttt...
Offline
Posts: 2,151
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Chandigarh
Rep Power: 40
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28th December 2009, 08:07 PM
Khokhle Chehre pe kaazib* hansi fir..
Ab to mujhse ye jauhar bhi jaayega kunaal jii...aadaab... bahut hi badhiya ghazal kahi hai aapne....har sheyr dil ko chhu gaya...aur yeh uppar wala to bahut hi umda laga... baat dard ki hai lekin phir bhi maza aa gaya padh kar.....daad haazir hai...qubuul farmaayeN.... Khush raheN.... ijaazat, Khuda hafiz, vikram... Uss Rizk Se Tau Maut Bhali Jis Rizk Se Aatee Ho Tere Parwaaz MeiN Kotaahi.... vikramjethi@gmail.com |
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(#12)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,089
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toronto,Canada
Rep Power: 31
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29th December 2009, 02:10 AM
Kunal jii,
Kaise hain aap?bahut khoob likha aapne .... shayad mere pass lafaz nahi hain beyaan karne ke liye likhte rahye aur khush rahye duaon ke saath mandeep ~ Mandeep Kaur ~ |
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(#13)
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Aapki dost
Offline
Posts: 7,325
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 57
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29th December 2009, 10:29 AM
Ghazal post hotey hi padh liya tha maine,aur yakeen na hua ke kunaal ji ki ghazal me aysi ghaltiyan kaisey mumkin hai, socha tha ke aapko pm karungi,..aaj dubaara padha tou corrections hogayi haiN..
Ghazal behad acchi lagi mujhe,.. aapka apna andaaz hai .... yuhi likhtey rahiye Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#14)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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29th December 2009, 07:32 PM
Quote:
Aapka shukraguzaar hun .. khaak bande ke aashiyaane main tashreef laane ke liye... aapko ghazal pasand aayi main manmoon hooN aapka... Khyaal rakhiye apna kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#15)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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29th December 2009, 09:01 PM
Quote:
Sifar Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#16)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 484
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Kolkata-City of Joy
Rep Power: 19
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30th December 2009, 12:36 AM
sahi hai...bada 'paak' likh rahe hai aajkal......
dard sabme hai....aapke shbad sabka dard smajhte hai...aisa lagta hai aapka amit PS:aur, 'khair' aise nahi hai...to cheen lo janab.....aapko haq hai.... Aandhiya Gam Ki Chalegi To Sawar Jaoonga Me Mai To Dariya Hu Samoondar Me Utar Jaaonga Me Mujhe Suli Pe Chadane Ki Jaroorat Kya Hai Logo Mere Haato Se Kalam Cheen Lo Yuhi Mar Jaoonga Me (When i received You in my heart everything changed for me) |
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hehehhehe ..... |
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(#17)
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Ankahi Kahaani
Offline
Posts: 438
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA
Rep Power: 23
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hehehhehe ..... -
30th December 2009, 11:03 AM
Quote:
Kya Dost ji aap bhi ...Bhagwaan ji ko kyon taqleef deni ...itani chhoti si baat ke liye .?? Kunal ji ki agar khair nahi rakhani hume to woh kaam karane ke liye ..hum to bahot door hai unase .... waise hum bhi kar sakate hai unaki daant laga ke yaa unase rooth ke par problem yeh hai ki naa hi ...mujhe kisi ko daant na aata hai naa hi rooth na ... par if i cant do it ...kya ho gaya ...aap to hai na Dost ji ... hehehhehe Bhagwaan ji ko aur bahot kaam hai ... .. to aap hi humaari taraf se Kunal ji ki daant laga lijiyega .. aur unake wahaan jaake kuchh din unahe tang kar lijiyega ...unke saath raheke .. unaki kalam chhin lijiyega ....unaki khair waise bhi nahi rahegi ...Bhagwaan ji aapko hammesha khush rakhe, Aapki Dost: Gudia Jay Ambe. Puri Hoke Bhi Jo Puri Na Ho Hoon Zindagi Ki Wo Ankahi Kahaani...... ------------------------------------------------------------ Ek Aaina Jiski Tasveer Dhundhla Gai, Ek Dil Jiski Dhadkan Ruksi Gai, Ek Zindagi Jiski Manzil Ka Koi Pata Hi Nahi, Ek Daaman Jahaan Se Khushiyaan Galti Se Bhi Guzarti Nahi. |
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Nazar Kamzor ho gayi hai ......aapki ....hahahhahha |
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(#18)
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Ankahi Kahaani
Offline
Posts: 438
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA
Rep Power: 23
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Nazar Kamzor ho gayi hai ......aapki ....hahahhahha -
30th December 2009, 11:24 AM
Quote:
 ?? sab se paheli baat yeh kya kaha aapne ??? aapko baher ka b bhi nahi aata ?? kya saathi ...agar hume nahi sikhaana to mana kar dijiyena .... par jhooth to mat boliye ke aapko aata nahi hai .....hahhahhaha aur dusari baat ...aapko chashme to nahi lag gaye kahi??? aapki nazare to theek hai naa ...i mean aapki aankhein ???  humaara reply ek baar fir se theek se padhiye ....hehehhe "hum ek request kare aapko...?? aapko bahot baar padha hai aur hammesha hi aapke ehsaason ne dil mai jagahaa banaai hai ....par hume lagataa hai ki shaayad kaafi arasaa guzar gaya aapki kalam se likhe gaye khushiyon ke nagamon ko padhe huye .... kya aap apani is dost ki request maan ke jaldi hi koi khushi ka nagmaa likhenge ..??? hum chaahate hai ki aapke dard ne bahot dil ko chhu liya ... ab kyon na aapki likhi koi khushi hi dil ko chhu jaaye ....." humane to Ishq par likhane ke liye to kaha hi nahi hai ..... humane to sirf khushi ka koi nagma likhane ko kaha hai .... aur khushi ka rishta sirf ishq se ho yeh to zaroori nahi ...dost ...aur banaawati likhane ke liye to hum kabhi kisi se nahi kahenge ... to aapse kyon yeh ummid kare ..because as i always say ..ki i believe har likhane waale ke jasbaat unke dil ka aaina hote hai ... aur saathi aaino mai chaahe jitane banaawati chahere banaa lijiye us aaine mai uaski banaawat zaroor nazar aayegi ...yeh sachchaai hum bahot achchhe se jaanate hai ... so aapse banaawati likha padhane ki to khwaab mai bhi ummid nahi karate hum ..... lagataa hai aapko .....loveriyaa ka bukhaar ho gaya hai is liye aapko ...khushi ka likhane ko kaha to sirf ishq ki khushi hi yaad aayi ... aap kaa hi taaza reply padha tha kisi ki post par aur bhi gum hai zamaane mai muhobbat ke siwaaaaa ....ect ect jaise gum sirf muhobbat ke ho zaroori nahi ....waise hi aur rishton mai bhi khushiyaan hoti hai..jaise ..family ...friends ... ect ect ... khushi sirf ishq hi de zaroori nahi hota ..... ab chalti hoon ...kaafi bak bak ho gayi ....areee haan ... Maharaaj jaldi so jaaya kijiyega ..waranaa aankhein ....sach mai jaldi kamzor ho jaayegi aur har shabd mai fir Ishq hi nazar aayega ... Kunal ji hume sach mai intezaar rahega us khushi ke nagame ko padhane ka ...jo kabhi kahi na kahi aapko ishq ke ilaawa kisi aur rishte mai bhi ek na ek din zaroor mahesoos hoga ....Keep smiling always.. Bhagwaan ji aapko hammesha khush rakhe, Aapki Dost: Gudia Jay Ambe. Puri Hoke Bhi Jo Puri Na Ho Hoon Zindagi Ki Wo Ankahi Kahaani...... ------------------------------------------------------------ Ek Aaina Jiski Tasveer Dhundhla Gai, Ek Dil Jiski Dhadkan Ruksi Gai, Ek Zindagi Jiski Manzil Ka Koi Pata Hi Nahi, Ek Daaman Jahaan Se Khushiyaan Galti Se Bhi Guzarti Nahi. |
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(#19)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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30th December 2009, 04:33 PM
Kunal Bhai Aadaab..........
Yeh huyi naa baat.......... Bhai jitne ki ummid rahi usse jyada mile to khushi hoti hi hai...... Aur aapki is gazal ne wakai mutasir kiya...... Gazab ke khayal aur umda bayani rahi...... Sabhi sher behad achche lage...... Aur haan aapke ek reply ko padhne ke bad mera shak yahin mein badal gaya...... Ke aap bhi badi dukhi atma ho............. Likhate rhaiye, Khush rahiye. Khuda Hafez........... 
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(#20)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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1st January 2010, 06:46 PM
Quote:
Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#21)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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1st January 2010, 06:47 PM
Quote:
Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#22)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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1st January 2010, 06:50 PM
Quote:
Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#23)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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1st January 2010, 06:51 PM
Quote:
Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#24)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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1st January 2010, 07:50 PM
Quote:
)Shukriya free ke reps dene ke liye.... Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#25)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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1st January 2010, 07:53 PM
Quote:
Mishri maiN ghule lafzoN se tareef karne ke liye... aapko accha laga aur kya chaiye.... Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#26)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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1st January 2010, 07:54 PM
Quote:
Shukriya aapka be lafzi tareef ke liye ... likhne ki koshish zaari rahegi ... Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#27)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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1st January 2010, 07:57 PM
Quote:
Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#28)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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1st January 2010, 07:59 PM
Quote:
Shukriya amit bhai Kuch log hai jinki khaas izzat hai dil maiN .. aapse bas wahi baat dil main aati hai aapka naam dekhte hi .. iske aage kuch nahi kahunga Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#29)
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Sifar
Offline
Posts: 4,757
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dubai, UAE
Rep Power: 41
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1st January 2010, 08:00 PM
Quote:
Khyaal rakho apna Kunaal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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