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Life, Love & Luck {The Unbearable True Love Story}
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jimmysaid
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Love Life, Love & Luck {The Unbearable True Love Story} - 16th February 2007, 09:41 PM

Hello Friends How R u? I need To Share One True Story With Shayri.com Friends. please Give Me Your Comments After Read This Full Story.

I m Inspire From One Persen Who Meet Me At Train... And We Are Goin To Mumbai That Time.... He Told Me All Happens And After say That "Jimmy Its My Own Life's Journy" And My Eyes Say That Pls Today We Want To Cry.....And I Cant Stop To Cry That Time...

Okay Friends I m Wrriting A Full Story Here.... I Have Givin A Name Is...

Life, Love & Luck---
Unbeareble Love Story

Page 1

Is Duniya main kayi tarha ke log rehte hai, har aadmi ka ek sapna hota hai, jise who hamesha pura hote hue dekhna chahta hai. Haan…. Kisi ke pure hote bhi hai aur kisi ke nahi bhi hote. “Life”… matlab “zindagi” bahot si zindagi aisi hoti hai jo khud apne liye jeeti hai, aur bahot si zindagi aisi hoti hai jo apne liye to sochta nahi par dusro ke liye hi jeete hai, aur haan kayi zindagi aisi bhi hoti hai jo bina kisi matlab ke ya bina kisi makshad ke liye bhi bas jeeta hai…. “Love”… matlab “Pyar” Ek aisi cheez jiske bina is zindagi jeene ka koi matlab hi nahi hota,pyar ek ehsaas hai jise duniya main basne waali har zindagi mehsus karna chahti hai, usko paana chahti hai, aur ek sacchi huquekat bhi hai ki pyar ke bina is duniya main koi rishta kayam nahi hota…. Aur “Luck”….. Matlab “Naseeb” jo har zindagi is duniya main aate hi saath lekar aati hai, yeh sirf koi haathon ki lakeerein nahi hoti! Yeh ek bhagvaan ka diya hua var hai, jiske jeise karam weisa naseeb….. Yeh duniya pehle ek cheez pe chalti thi,aur who hai vishvass, lekin ab vishvass ka koi mulya nahi raha, bas peisa hai to duniya hai, yeh ek niyam bann chuka hai is yug ka. Koi pani ka pyasa to koi peise ka pyasa ya phir koi kisi ke khoon ka pyasa, har aadmi kisi na kisi cheez ki kami mehsus karta hai aur use who har pal paa na chahta hai. Is duniya ke logon ki bahot si kahaniya hoti hai, jeise har insan ki ek kahaani, weise hi meri bhi ek kahaani hai, main bhi isi duniya main basne waale logon ka ek hissa hoon, haan…. Mera bhi ek sapna tha, main bhi who hi chahta tha jo is duniya main basne waala har insaan chahta hai…. Meri zindagi main bhi who sabkuch tha jise is duniya main har insaan paana chahta hai shiway ek cheez ke aur who hai “Pyar” ya phir shayad “Naseeb”. Main khud nahi tay kar paa raha tha main kis ki kami main mehsus kar raha hoon…. “Pyar” Ya “Naseeb”………
Weise yeh “Ehsaas” naam ki cheez hai bahot hi kamaal ki, aadmi ko uski zindagi main kuch mile ya na mile par kisi na kisi tarha ka “Ehsaas” zarur milta hai. Ek yeh hi aisi cheez hai jo insaan ki zindagi main modd laata hai, pyar ka ehsaas ho ya kisi aur tarha ka ehsaas ho,who apni is zindagi main ek baar to paata hi hai, jise who bhoola kar bhi kabhi nahi bhool paata hai…. Aisa hi ehsaas maine bhi meshus kiya tha par shayad meri takdeer ya chahe kaho use mera naseeb mere saath nahi tha….
Aaj 10 saal ke baad usko maine dekha, safed saari, na koi saath dene wala, na who pehle jeisa khilta hue gulaab jeisa chehra jo bilkul sukh gaya tha, jeise uske har ek patte aasmaan ko dekhne ke bajay uski raksha karne wale kaanto ko dekh rahe ho,uske resham jeise baal aise the jeise kisi ki ummed hi na ho waapas aane ki, uski aankhein jo hamesha usko dekhte hi har kisi ko dekhne par majboor kar deti thi aaj who hi aankhein kisi ki yaad aur naa aane ki umeed jeise khatam ho gayi ho, par aaj bhi main usse dekhte hi dekhta hi reh gaya, shayad who kisi ki raah main umeed ban kar aayi thi, aaj bhi usko dekhte hi mere dil ne kayi tarha ke sawaal kiye jiske jawaab main khud 10 saal se dhundh raha tha, main soch raha tha kya yeh wohi “kavita” hai jisko main 10 saal pehle aksar apne dil main sajata tha, apni aankho main aksar uske alfaaz likhta tha, main samajhta tha, dil ki kalam to kab ki khatam ho chuki thi par aaj usko dekhte hi aisa laga jeise who kalam aaj bhi abhi tak iss umeed main hai jo 10 saal pehle hua karti thi… kudrat bhi keise keise khel khelti hai aaj who hi baat main samajhne ki koshish kar raha tha, par usko dekhte hi main aur uljhan main ulaj gaya tha….


Page 2

Maine usko dekha bus stop par bilkul akeli apne zindagi ki kitaabon ko lekar khadi thi, main bhi wahaan apne raaste pe aane wali gaadi ka intezar kar raha tha, sochta tha main uske paas jaakar usko kahu ki haan main woh hi “Akshay” hoon jise tum 10 saal pehle aksar paa na chahti thi, haan… main who hi khwaab hoon jiske tum hamesha sapne sajaaya karti thi, main usko dekhta hi raha par meri himmat nahi hui uske paas jaane ki, kyun ki mere atit ne mujhe baandh ke rakha tha, bas uski ek zhalak mujh par pad jaye aur who daudi daudi mere paas aake mujhe seene se lagale. Main nahi jaanta tha ki uski zindagi main kitni khushi hai! par mera dil ab bhi usko apni saari khushi de dena chahta tha. Usko dekhta hoon to mere saamne wohi kavita aajati hai jise main 10 saal pehle jaanta tha. Maine apne pocket main uski ek tasveer aaj bhi saja ke rakhi hai. Maine apne pocket main haath daal ke usko aaj phir bahar nikala aur usko apni bheegi hui aankho se sawaar ne laga kareeb 10 minut tak main uski tasveer dekhta hi raha, aur achanak uski aawaz ne mujhko pukaara, “kya aap akshay hai na?” usi hi ki aawaz thi wohh hi aawaz thi, main jab tak apna sar utha kar uske chehre ka deedar karta usse pehle hi mere dil ke har ek taar jhilmila gaye, aisa laga jeise aaj kisi ne mujhe kayi saalo ke baad bahot gehri neend se jagaya ho aur aankhon ko phirse khuli hui rakh kar sapne sajane ko keh rahe ho jiss sapno ko main 10 saal pehle toot te hue ushi aankhose dekh chuka tha. Mera dil bahot hi tez raftaar se dhadak ne laga tha. main dheeme dheeme uski taraf sar utha ke dekhne ke liye betaab ho gaya par shayad mera dil aaj bhi bahot kamjor tha, who hi aankhein phir se geeli ho gayi, maine uski taraf dekha, who ekdum bholi bhali lagti thi, uski aankhein mujhse sawaal kar rahe the, aur badi tarjub se who mujhe dekh rahi thi, main jeise usko dekhta hi gaya, usne phirse mujhe kaha “kya tum akshay ho na?” maine kaha “jee haan main who hi akshay hoon jise tum 10 saal pehle jaanti thi” bas uske aage main ek labs nahi bol paya. Mujhe nahi pata tha ki mujhe itne saalo ke baad dekh kar usko khushi hui bhi ya nahi! Kyun ki uske chehre par mujhe koi bhi chinha nahi dikhayi diye bas who mujhe dekhti hi rahi. Maine usse pucha “kavita keisi ho apni zindagi main? Itne saalo ke baad mile hai kuch baatein nahi karogi?” uski aankhein mujhe is tarha dekh rahi thi jeise who mujhe yeh kehna chahti ho ki aaj tumhe dekh kar mujhe apne atit main ki hui har ek galatiyon ka ehsaas aaj hua hai, please mujhe maaf kardo! Par waqt kahaan kisi ke liye rukta hai jo humare liye bhi rukegi! Usne kahan “haan kyun nahi” aur usne apni bag niche rakhdi aur jeise maine uski aankhon main dekha usne apni nazar churali aur shayad who meri bheegi hui aankhon ka saamna nahi kar paa rahi thi, uske baad who apni palkein utha hi nahi paa rahi thi. Aaj bhi yeh dil uske liye dhadakta tha. thodi der khomoshi ke baad usne mujhse baat karne ki koshish ki, usne kaha! “aap keise hai akshay? Aap abhi bhi issi seher main rehte hai ya…!” maine usse kaha “jee haan kavita 10 saal pehle jo pal maine guzare hai unhe main keise bhool sakta hoon aur main unhe bhoola kar keise is seher ko chod sakta hoon? Kheir chodo unn puraani baaton ko tum batao apne baare main! Maine suna tha ki tumhe kisi compeny main badi post par jagha mili thi aur tumhari post dusre seher main lag gayi thi! Well! Tumhaari to shaadi ho chuki hogi na! Keise hai tumhare parivaar waale?” jeise usne meri baat suni uski aankhin geeli ho gayi aur saath main uski aawaz bhi, usne kaha “haan akshay main zindagi main sirf ek hi cheez ke piche bhaagti rahi maine kabhi dusri cheezon ke baare main socha hi nahi, meri zindagi main yehi meri sabse badi bhool thi, jiski wajah se main ab bhi apne aap ko maaf nahi kar paa rahi hoon, akshay shayad tumne mujhe dekhte hi meri zindagi ki parchayi jaan li hogi, mere kapde, mera chehra, mera aaj aur mera kal, sab in saari baaton ka saboot hai” main uski baatein sunta hi raha meri aakhon se aansu jeise bahar aane ke liye tadap rahe the, par maine unhe roke rakha. Main uski saari batein samajh gaya, maine use dilasa dete hue kaha “kavita yeh duniya jitni buri hai untni hi khoobsurat bhi hai, bas humara nazariya alag hona chahiye.” Usne pehli baar meri baat sunkar meri aankho main dekha. Bas jeise maine kaha waqt kabhi kisi ke liye nahi rukta waise hi uski bus uski raftaar se aa gayi, main aaj phirse wohi daur mehsus kar raha tha jub 10 saal pehle usse bichadne ke waqt hua tha, mera dil usse aaj phirse bichadna nahi chahta tha, par haalat majboor the humein bichadna to tha, maine kaha na kudrat bhi kya kya khel khelti hai, jub humein baar baar bichadna hi tha to kismat humein kyun milati hai baar baar? Bas yehi sawaal mere dil main aaj ke baad aksar aata raha. Uske jaane ka waqt ho gaya tha par shayad who bhi jaana nahi chahti thi jeise who mere inn beete hue 10 saal ke baare main jaanna chahti thi, usne kaha “main chalti hoon shayad wapas hum milenge yeh mera pata hai! Kabhi baatein karne ka mann ho to aajana main tumse baatein karna chahti hoon, agar aaoge to main samjhoongi ki tumne mujhe maaf kar diya hai” bas itna bol kar usne ek parchi mere haath main thamadi, jismain use ghar ka pata tha.who apni bag le kar chali gayi mujhe phirse mudd kar wapas dekhne ki usmain shayad himmat nahi bachi thi, par uske kadam piche jaate hi mere aansu nikal pade, main wahi par toot pada, usko jaate hue dekhta raha aur who chali gayi…..

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Main thodi der tak rota raha meri bhi bus aa gayi main ghar pahucha. Aaj mujhe aisa laga ki aaj bhi who mujhe pyar karti hai, naa jaane kyun aisa lagta tha jeise who wapas meri zindagi main aana chahti hai. Mere ghar main koi kami nahi thi kisi bhi cheez ki. ek zamana tha mere paas kuch nahi tha jub main kavita se pyar karne laga tha. main apne bedroom main jaakar khidki ke paas jaake beith gaya, aur beithe beithe apne atit main kho gaya, phirse wohi pal taaza ho gaye jub main ne kavita ko pehli baar dekha tha, jeise kal ki hi baat ho! College ka pehla dinn, main jab pehle din college gaya sab ke saath acchi dosti ho rahi thi, dheere dheere mere sab ache dost bann rahe the, maine usko college ke garden main dekha ped ke niche akeli beithi thi, main usko dekhta hi raha, jeise pari niche zameen par utar aayi ho, keise bhi kar ke main usse dosti karna chahta tha, uss waqt main yeh hi chahta tha ki main usse bas dekhta hi rahoon. Meri ek dost thi “khushi”who kavita ki bhi dost thi maine usse kaha “mujhe kavita bahot acchi lagti hai please meri dosti usse karvado!” Usne mujhe kaha “yeh sab to thik hai akshay par dosti se aage mat jaana akshay kyun ki yeh ladki tumhare laayak nahi hai” main naaraz ho gaya maine kaha “kyun aisa bol rahi ho tum? Main itna bura nahi hoon!” usne mujhe haskar samjhate hue kaha “aisi baat nahi hai akshay meri baat ka galat matlab mat samjho, main tumhari dost hoon isliye tumhara bura nahi chahungi” maine kaha “baad ki baat baad main dekhenge” usne kaha “thik hai baba kal main tumhe usse milaungi ok ? khush?” aur hum dono hunss pade. Dusre din humari dosti hui, hum ek dusre ko acchi trha to pata nahi par samajhne ki koshish karne lage, ek saal guzar gaya akhir jo nahi hona chahiye tha who hi ho gaya. Khushi ne jo karne ko nahi kaha tha who mujhse ho gaya mujhe kavita se pyar ho gaya, par maine usko kabhi yeh zaahir nahi hone diya, who dheere dheere samajhne lagi thi main usko chahta hoon, ek din usne mera haath pakad kar keh diya “I Love You akshay” main uske saamne dekhta hi raha, aur who sharmate hue mere saamne khadi thi, maine usse poocha “kya tum mazaak to nahi kar rahi na?” usne phirse sharmaate hue apne pyar ka izhaar kiya, main to jeise paagal ho gaya, pure college main bhaag ne laga, khushi ke mare main pagal ho gaya tha. Shayad who pal meri zindagi ke bahot anmol pal main se ek tha, jisko main kabhi nahi bhoola sakunga, ek aisa ehsaas ho raha tha jise main aksar paana chahta tha, main usse sacche dil se chahta tha. Par waqt na jaane kahaan se kahaan le ke jaata hai insaan ko.

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Har insaan ko is duniya main khushi milti hai to uske baad ghum ka ehsaas bhi karna hota hai, aise hi kai modd aate hai hamaari is zindagi main, waqt kabhi ek jeisa nahi rehta usko bhi karvat badalni hoti hai, aise hi mere iss waqt ne bhi karvat badli, aur uske baad mujhe kabhi chain ki neend naseeb nahi hui, aaj bhi raat ko kavita ki aawaz mere kaano main gunjhti hai aur main neend se jaag jaata hoon…..
Hamaara last year chal raha tha bas thode hi dinn reh gaye the sab ke is college main, sab ke chehre kuch ukhde ukhde se lag rahe the, main aaj college der se pahocha. Sab ek dusre ko milne ke liye betaab the, kyun ki aakhir main sabko alag jo hona tha, phir pata nahi zindagi ke kiss daur main kaun kahaan mill jaaye! Main bhi apne saare dost se mila par meri nazar kisi chehre ko dhoondh rahi thi, kavita aaj nahi dikh rahi thi, maine sab se poocha, kisi ne kaha nahi aayi, kisi ne kahaa claas room main hai, kisine kaha chali gayi…. Par maine haar nahi maani aur aakhir main who mil gayi, garden main who wohi pedd ke niche beithi thi jiss ped ke niche maine usko pehli baar dekha tha, main uske paas jaa kar beith gaya, maine usko dekha who ro rahi thi, maine usse poocha “hey dear kyun ro rahi ho ? main hamesha tumhare saat hoon na! Hum kahaan door jaa rahe hai! Ek hi seher main hai na to kabhi bhi mil payenge! Please keep smile!” usne mera haath pakda aur kahaa “haan akshay mujhe pata hai par pata nahi mujhe aisa lag raha hai aaj ki hum bichadne waale hai, dil main kahin na kahin kuch aisa mehsus ho raha hai ki bahot dar lag raha hai” maine usse kaha “mujhe pata hai aisa kyun ho raha hai who is liye ki humare saare dost humse bichadne waale hai na! Tum dekho aise ro gi to main bhi apne aansu nahi rok paunga haan.” Aur usne mere hotohon par haath rakh diya aur kaha “please aisa mat bolo dear bhagwaan na kare ki kabhi tumhe rone ka mouka bhi mile! Ok thik hai dekho main hanss rahi hoon he he he…!!!” aur who hans padi saath main main bhi zor se hanss pada. Uske baad hum ek dusre ke haatho main haath daale kayi ghanto tak wahi par beithe rahe, humne bahot si baatein ki saath main jeene marne ki kasam li, usne mere kareeb aakar kahaa “akshay kabhi mujhse juda to nahi honge na? Mera zindagi bar saath donge na? Main hamesha tumhari bankar rehna chahti hoon.” Main uski aankhon main dekhta raha jeise uski aakhein har pal mera saath mehsoos karna chahti chahti thi. Maine kahaa “haan kavita tum meri zindagi ho aur main apni zindagi se keise dur reh sakta hoon? Main apni zindagi ko hamesha apne paas rakhunga main bhi nahi chahta ki main tumse dur rahoon, main tumhare ghar baarat lekar zaroor aaunga aur tumhe apne saath le jaaunga.” Meri baat sun kar uski aakhein phirse geeli ho gayi aur mujhe bas dekhti rahi. Who pal, who din, who baatein, who aansu, who khushi, who pyar main apni is zindagi main kabhi nahi bhool sakta. Shayad yeh wohi ehsaas tha jise main paana chahta tha aur kabhi nahi bhool sakta tha… aur hum apne ghar chale gaye.

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Weise to hum roz milte the aur shaam ko bichadte the, par uss dinn bichadte hue aisa laga ki jeise mere shareer se koi hissa mujhse alag ho raha hai, main usse juda nahi hona chahta tha, dil hai na bass nahi maan raha tha, par kya kare! Uss waqt bhi haalat majboor the, humein bichadna tha, par haan kal phir milna tha, vaada jo kiya tha! ussdin ke baad raat ko jeise neend hi nahi aa rahi thi aakhein who saare sapne sajte hue dekhna chahti thi jo maine aur kavita ne saath main dekhe the, bas intezaar karna tha uss waqt ka. Insaan yeh sochta hai ki kaash uska who har sapna sach ho jaaye jo usne dekhe hai, bas sirf intezaar hota hai uss waqt ka, par waqt bhi ek aisi cheez hai jo kabhi aata hai to rukta nahi aur kabhi aata hi nahi…. Mere saath bhi kuch aisa hi hone waala tha, bas intezaar karna tha… hum dusre dinn waapas mile bas ab ek hi dinn reh gaya tha college ka. Jeise waqt guzarta gaya sab ki aakhein bheegne lagi thi. Uss waqt bhi hum pura dinn saath rahe aur kuch aise pal humne guzaare jise bhoola kar bhi nahi bhool Sakte the. Aakhir main who waqt bhi guzar gaya, aaj aakhri dinn tha, meri zindagi ka sab se yaad gar din, uss din main kavita ko le kar ek khoobsurat jagha par gaya tha, uss din kavita khush to thi par thodi udaas thi, maine kavita se kaha “pata hai main tumhe yahaan par kyun leke aaya hoon?” kavita mere saamne badi maasoom nazar se dekh rahi thi, usne apna sar hila kar mujhe kaha “nahi nahi pata par shayad aisa lag raha hai ki tum mujhe koi surprise dena chahte ho! Chalo bolo ab kyun laaye ho! Jaldi bata do!” uski isi maasumiyat par hi to main fida tha. maine kaha “haan lekin tumhe keise pata chal gaya? Hey it’s not fair ok!” aur hum dono zor se hanss pade. Maine usko kaha “chalo ab apni aakhein bandh karo aur apna haath mujhe do!” usne ishara karte hue kaha “ok ok baba yeh lo mera haath” maine uske haath main ek anguthi pehna di aur usne aakhein kholi. Who bahot khush hui usse who bahot khush hui, hum dono gale lage aur ek baar phir se ek dusre se apne pyaar ka izhaar kiya. Use khush dekh kar mera dil bhi bahot khush hota tha aisa lagta tha jeise mujhe is duniya ki har khushi mil gayi hai. Lekin har khushi ke baad ghum bhi aata hai. Yeh main pehle nahi jaanta tha, par ab jaan chuka hoon….
Aakhir main who waqt bhi apni raftaar se guzar raha tha, ab waqt tha bichadne ka. Pata nahi ab kisse kab mulaakat ho! Koi noukari par lag jaye ga to, koi buisness karega, ab kahaan kisi ke paas waqt rahega aise beith kar dosto se baatein karne ke liye. Shaam hote hi dheere dheere kavita ke chehre par ek maayusi si chane lagi thi, aur shayad mere bhi. Kyunki pata nahi ab kab kavita ghar se bahaar nikal sake aur mujhse mill sake, jab tak mujhe koi acchi naukari nahi mill jati, main uske ghar uska haath maangne keise jaa sakta tha, lekin shayad mujhe pata tha ki uske ghar main uske mummy papa yeh rishta manjur nahi karte, kyunki mera pariwaar uss mukaam pe nahi tha jiss mukaam par kavita ka pariwaar tha, main ek sadharan pariwaar se tha, mere papa mil main naukari karte the, aur kavita ke papa ek safal buisness man the, jisse humara koi rishta kaayam nahi ho sakta tha, uski bhi ek wajha thi, yehi ki yeh duniya main ab sab cheez peiso se tola jaata hai, chahe who baazar main bikne waali koi cheez ho ya phir do dilo ke pyar se bhare ehsaas ka rishta ho! Kisi ko koi fark nahi dikhai deta in dono cheez main. Phir bhi main is duniya se ladne ke liye khada tha mere pyar ke kiye, chahe kuch bhi ho jaaye, main apna pyar nibha kar rahoonga. Yeh hi soch thi meri, maine kabhi kisi ke baare main galat nahi socha tha, shayad is liye ki mujhe galat sochana aata hi nahi tha…. Kavita mere paas aayi mujhe kaha “ akshay main tumhe milungi jab bhi bahar nikal ne ka mauka milega main tumhe bata dungi, tum maayus mat hona ok!” maine usse kaha “kavita kya main ek baat poochu tumse?” usne apna sar anumati dete hue upar niche hilaya. Maine kaha “ kavita agar yeh duniya humein saath na de humein milne main to kya tum mera saath to nahi chodogi na?” kavita meri baat sun kar ekdum si dar gayi aur uski aakhein bhar aayi, usne kaha “please akshay aisa mat bolo maine hamesha tumhare saath hoon, tum aisa kyun sochte ho ki main nahi saath dungi tumhe? Mujhe pata hai tum aisa kyun bol rahe ho isiliye na kyunki mere ghar waalw tumhe accept nahi karenge! Kuch bhi ho jaaye main hamesha tumara saath dungi, marte dum tak mere hothon par sirf tumhara hi naam hoga” maine usko sine se laga liya aur kaha “saath dena hi hai to marne ki baat mat karo kavita, main nahi chahta ki meri kavita itni kamzor ho jo marne ki baatein kare!” bass uss din bhi bichadne ka waqt ho gaya, waqt to jeise bahot tez chal raha tha, jeise ki kal ki hi baat ho humein mile hue….. Who apne ghar chali gayi, main usko uss waqt bhi aise hi jaate hue dekhta raha jeise aaj maine usko 10 saal ke baad dekha tha, uske jaane ke baad naa jaane ek darr sa mere dil me hamesha rehta hai, jise main aaj bhi mehsoos karta hoon…

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Takdeer bhi keise keise karvat badalti hai. Jahaan bhi naukari ke liye gaya bas rishvat ki hi maang hoti thi, ab is bhrastaachaar ke zamane main koi bhi kaam rishvat ke bina nahi hota hai. Kai thokare kha kha kar main naukari ki talaash main dar badar ghumta raha, par kisi ko is deegre se kuch lena dena nahi tha, unko matlab tha to bass in kaagaz ke tukdose. Kavita ke phone aksar aate rehte the hum kai der tak baatein karte rehte. Ab bhi who mandir jaane ke bahaane mujhse roz milti thi, haan par itna waqt nahi milta tha jitna humein pehle college ke dino me milta tha. phir bhi humein koi shiqwa nahi tha is chote se waqt se. aise main 6 mahine kahaan guzar gaye pata hi nahi chala, ab mujhe kuch bhi kar ke naukari dhoondhni thi, kyun ki main ab jyada doori mehsus karna nahi chahta tha apni zindagi se. hum ab dheere dheere kam milne lage the, par haan hum phone par roz baatein karte, kuch hi dino main kavita ko ek bahot hi acchi si office main naukari mil gayi, uski naukari bhi bahot acchi thi wahaan usko apne kaam ka vetan bhi accha khaasa mil jaata tha, par uska kaam jyada rehta tha, is liye kabhi kabhi phone nahi karti thi, main us waqt bhi naukari ki talaash main tha. ab mujhe dheere dheere apne aap par sharm aane lagi thi kya main kisi ke laayak nahi jo mujhe koi naukari nahi dena chahta! Mere papa mujhe honsla dete the aue kehte the “beta apne aap ko sambhaalna sikho, tum aise itne jaldi haar maan longe to kya hoga? Abhi to tumhare paas bahot waqt hai is khoobsurat zindagi ko jeene ke liye, aaj nahi to kal tumhe naukari mil hi jaayegi, bas tum haar mat maan na, aur yeh kyun bhool jaate ho ki tum mere bete ho jo kabhi haarna nahi sikha!” papa jab bhi mujhe aisa kuch kehte to mera honsla badh jata aur phirse naye din ki shuruaat karta naukari dhoodhne ke liye nikal padta. Maine apne pariwaar main kabhi kisise kuch nahi chupaya tha isliye maine unse apni koi baat nahi chupayi, maine meri aur kavita ke rishte ke baare main unko sab bata diya tha, aur unko bhi is rishte se koi aitraaz nahi tha, maine unko jab humare aur kavita ke pariwaar ke faaslon ke baare main bataya to unho ne kaha “dekho bete yeh ek aisa rishta hai jo do dilo ko mila ta hai, is main koi bhi aadmi kitni bhi kimat lagale par who is rishte ko peiso se kabhi khareed nahi sakta, is rishte ko sirf pyar se khareeda jaa sakta hai, aur jiske paas pyar ho who hi is duniya ka sabse dhanwaan insaan hota hai, paisa to rishte ko kam karta hai, par pyar rishte ko badhata hai, is liye yaad rakhna ki is duniya main pyar se badi daulat aur kuch bhi nahi hai” uss din papa ki baat sunkar aisa laga main kitna khush naseeb hoon ki mujhe kavita ke pyar ke saath apne maa baap ke pyar ki daulat bhi mujhe mili hai….
Waqt guzarta gaya aur mera aur kavita ka faasla bhi badhta gaya, ab hum milte nahi the kyun ki kavita kehti thi usko bahot kaam milta hai office main,is wajah se who mil nahi paati. Par haan hum phone par roz baatein karte the. Aise hi main roz naukari ki talaash main aur kavita apne kaam main kahin ghum ho jaate the. Aisa lagta tha jeise main koi jung lad raha hoon apni naukari ke liye, par haan zindagi bhi to ek jung hi hai na, koun kab kahaan dusman ban jaaye aur kaun kab kahaan dost banjaaye, kab koun haar jaaye aur kab jeet jaaye, yeh kisiko nahi pata. Aise hi naukari dhundhte dhundhte mujhe aakhir main naukari mil gayi, aur who bhi ek bahot badi company main badi jagha par. Aakhir me bhagvaan ne meri baat sun hi li. Keise keise karvat badalti hai takdeer who maine naukari milne se kuch pal pehle mehsus kiya, naukari bhi mili to kiss tarha! Uski bhi shuruaat ek haadse se hui, hasi aa jati hai mujhje kya kismat hai meri…

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Meri zindagi ka sabse bada haadsa tha yeh, aur zindagi ka sebse bada aur ehem din. Subha main gharse nikala, ek badi company main naukari ke liye interview dene jaa raha tha. jeb me sirf ghar vaapas aane ke paise the, is liye main pedal hi chal pada, thodi hi to dur thi woh office jahaan mujhe interview dene jaana tha. raaste me chalte chalte sochta tha ki kaash aaj naukari mill jaaye taa ki main kavita ke ghar rishta lekar jaau aur humari shaadi ho jaaye. Raaste main chalte mere jeise kai log the, unhe dekh kar sochta tha kya yeh sab bhi roz itni thokare khate honge apni badi si zindagi main thodasa rang bharne ke liye! Utne main hi meri aakhon ke saamne raaste par ek car aur ek bus ka haadsa hua. Bahot be rehmi se takra gaye. Bus ka driwer bach gaya,aur who wahaan se bhaag gaya, yeh hi soch kar ki shayad who car wala aadmi mar gaya hoga to public usko bahot pitegi. Maine jo dekha haadsa who bahot hi bhayaanak tha. bahot saare log uss car ke paas bheed bana kar jama ho gaye. Main bhi daudte daudte uss car ke paas gaya, uske andar ek aadmi tha aur uske sar se bahot khoon beh raha tha aur behosh ho gaya tha shayad, par koi bhi usse uthane ke liye taiyaar nahi tha, shayad koi is chakkar main padna nahi chahta tha, sab ke sab matlabi hai is duniya main koi kisi ke liye itna bhi nahi kar sakta ki usko kisi hospital main le jaye. Maine dekha unki saasein chal rahi thi. Maine ek texi rukvai aur uss aadmi ko uski car se bahaar nikaal kar texi main hospital le gaya. Maine zindagi main pehli baar itna khoon kisika bewajay behte hue dekha tha. hospital main unka ilaaj shuru kar diya gaya, aur naseeb bhi dekho keisa tha ! jiss hospital main uss aadmi ko main le gaya tha uska Dr. uss aadmi ko bahot acchi tarha se jaanta tha. Dr. ne mujhe thodi der wahi pe rukne ko kaha tha is liye main kamre ke bahar beitha tha. beithe beithe main soch raha tha ki kya kismat hai meri! Ek hi waqt par mujhe do kaam karne the, par mujhe dono main se kisi ek ko chun naa tha. 10 baje mera interview tha aur ab 11 baj chuke hai, shayad main yeh soch kar interview nahi dene gaya ki jiss waqt accident hua uss waqt jitne aadmi wahaan par khade the unmain shayad insaaniyat nahi bachi thi, jo uss kami ko maine puri kar di, mere papa ne yehi mujhe shikhaya tha. agar main interview dene nahi gaya to ek aur naukari nahi milegi, to kya hua kabhi na kabhi dusri naukari mil jayegi, par agar is insaan ki zindagi agar chali jaati to dobaara nahi milti, maine noukari se zyada zindagi ko ehem samjha. Aur yeh mere papa ne mujhe sikhaya tha. bas thodi hi der main ek nars aayi aur aa kar kaha “excuse me! Aap ko mareez andar bula rahe hai” aur main wahaan se uth kar andar jaane ke liye darwaza khola. Main jiss aadmi ko utha kar laaya tha who ab hosh main the mujhe dekh rahe the. Main unnke paas gaya aur jaakar beith gaya. Unnho ne poocha! “koun ho tum beta aur kya naam hai tumhara?” maine kaha “jee mera naam akshay hai, aur aaj subha main raaste se jaa raha tha to aap ka accident dekha aur main aapko behoshi ki haalat main yahaan le aaya.” Maine aaj naye kapde pehne the kyun ki aaj badi company main interview dene janaa tha! mere kapde saare khoon se rang gaye the. Unhone phir se kaha “beta tumne meri jaan bachai hai! Main tumhara yeh ehsaan zindagi bhar nahi chuka paunga” maine unse kaha “ uncle agar aap mujhe shukriya ada karna chahte hai to mujhe beta keh kar mat pukaariye, kyun ki aap agar mujhe bete jeisa maante hai to bete se kabhi shukriya nahi kehte, maine to bass ek farz nibhaya hai jise is duniya main basne waale har insaan ko nibhaana chahiye.” Who meri baatein sunte rahe aur kahaa “bete tumhari baaton se mujhe lagta hai tum kisi acche aur sanskaari pariwaar se ho! Kya kaam karte ho bete?” bas yeh hi ek aisa sawaal hai jo mujhe har waqt kaante ki tarha chubhta rehta hai, main thoda maayus ho gaya, mere chehre par saaf nazar aa raha tha ki unke iss swaal se main thoda maayus ho gaya tha. unho ne phirse kaha “kya hua bete tum aise maayus kyun ho gaye?” maine kaha “aree aisi koi baat nahi main kahaan maayus hoon! Main thik hoon, jee haan uncle main ek sadharan aur sanskari pariwaar se hoon, maine college khatam kar li hai aur kayi mahino se naukari ki talaash main yahaan wahaan ghoom rahaa hoon, par jiske paas paisa hai who aasani se nauksri paa sakta hai, mere jeise insaan ko naukari to door thokar ke shiway kuch nahi milta iss bhrastaachaar ki duniya main.” Meri baat sun kar who uncle bhi maayus ho gaye, par main bolta hi gaya, maine aur kahaa “aaj subha bhi main interview ke liye hi jaa raha tha ho aapka accident dekha mujhse dekhi nahi gayi aap ki haalat to main aap ko turant hospital le aaya.” Uncle meri baat sun kar ro pade aur mujhe badi tarjub se dekhne lage. Maine poocha kya hua uncle aap kyun ro rahe hain? Aur aise kyun dekh rahe hain?” unhone kaha “akshay bete aaj mujhe aisa laga ki aajbhi is duniya main tumhare jeise log baste hai, dhanya hai who maa baap jisne tum jeise bete ko janm diya. Aur yeh lo mera card kal iss address par pauch jaana, tumhe naukari mill jaayegi.”unhone mujhe unka card diya, maine unka card dekha to laga yeh duniya kitni choti hai! Ab kya kahoon main is takdeer ke baare main! Aaj jiss company main mujhe jaana tha interview ke liye, ushi company ke yeh uncle Mr. Shah. khud maalik the. Main unka card dekh kar hans pada aur who mujhe badi tarjub se dekh rahe the. Unhone poocha “kya hua akshay! Tum mera card dekh kar kyun hans rahe ho?” maine unko sacchai batate hue kaha “uncle yeh wohi jagah hai jahaan aaj mujhe interview ke liye jaana tha, main aap hi ke paas aa raha tha aur…” Mr. Shah bhi hans pade aur kaha “Lagta hai meri aur tumhari kismat shayad ek jeisi hi hai” yah kehte hue hi who zor se hans pade. Aur baad main maine unhe apna khayaal rakhne ko kahaa aur ghadi main dekha to shaam ho chuki thi, maine unse kaha “main kal phir aaunga, aur aap khayaal rakhna apna.” Aur main wahaan se chala gaya. Ghar pahuchte hi maine papa aur mummy ko yeh sab baatein bataayi who to jeise khush khush ho gaye, papa ne kaha “beta aaj tumne jo kaam kiya hai! Usse mera sar tumne fakra se upar kar diya hai, aaj main bahot khush hoon, main bade fakra se keh sakta hoon ki yeh mera beta hai jis main mere sanskaar hai.” Bas main roz ek hapte tak hospital Mr. Shah ko milne jaata tha, mere papa bhi unse mile the, unhone mere papa ko bahot badahai di thi ki aap ne bahot accha beta paaya hai, aur mere papa ka sar uss waqt fakra se uncha ho gaya tha, unka seena jeise ful gaya tha, main yeh sab pal kabhi nahi bhool sakta hoon, jo meri zindagi ke sabse haseen pal the….

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Mujhe bahot acchi naukari mill gayi, mere sir Mr. Shah bahot acche insaan hai. Aaj kavita ki bahot yaad aa rahi thi, socha usko bhi yeh khush khabar main dedoon, who bahot khush hogi, maine usko phone kiya usne phone nahi uthaya, mujhe laga kaam main vyast hogi shayad isi liye phone nahi uthaaya hoga,koi baat nahi baad main phone karunga, yeh soch kar maine phone rakh diya. Main aaj bahot khush tha kyunki ab main kavita ke ghar jaa kar uska haath maang saku itni kaabeliyat thi mere main. Main sochta tha ki ab mere saare sapne sach ho jaayenge jo maine aur kavita ne saath mil kar dekhe the. Shaam ko office se ghar pahunchte hi maine kavita ko phone kiya aur usne phone uthaya maine usko yeh khush khabar sunayi par kya pata mujhe aisa laga jeise use itni khushi nahi hui jitni main samajhta tha. maine usse milne ko bhi kaha to usne kaam ka bahaana nikal kar saaf mana kar diya, usne kaha “nahi akshay main abhi 1 mahine tak nahi mil paungi bahot kaam hai office main” aur phir usne bye keh kar phone rakh diya. Phone bandh ho gaya tha phir bhi maine usko pakde rakha tha. kavita badal ne lagi thi. Main ne socha ki shayad who sach keh rahi hogi kaam zyada hoga isliye mana kar rahi hai, koi baat nahi kabhi nakabhi to milegi na! Ab to kavita phone bi nahi karti thi jeise uski zindagi main mera koi mahatva nahi raha tha. 3 mahine guzar gaye main apne office ke kaam main lipta raha, par aisa koi din ya raat nahi guzari jiss waqt maine usko yaad na kiya ho! Maine usko phone na kiya ho!par kabhi kabhi hi baat hoti thi humari. Who bhi 2 minute main phone cut jaata tha. kabhi kabhi main ro padta tha, kya yeh wohi kavita hai jo mujhe yeh kehti thi ki akshay mera saath to kabhi nahi chodoge na! Maine usse baat karne ke liye bahot koshish ki par who naajane aisa karti thi jeise usko mujhse kuch lena dena hi nahi hai, mujhse baat kar na hi nahi chahti hai! Main apni in aankhose apne sapne toot te hue dekh raha tha. main har pal udaas sa rehne laga tha. Mr. Shah bhi mujhse pooch rahe the “kya hua hai akshay tumhe? Tum aise udaas udaas kyun rehne lage ho? Mujhe batao koi pareshaani ho to!” maine unhe saari baatein bataayi unhone kaha “ek baar usse mil kar pooch lo ki kya galat baat hui hai mujhse tum kyun aisa kar rahi ho ?” maine unhe kaha “sir who meri baat sunne ko taiyaar nahi mera phone uthati hi nahi hai, aisa lagta hai who mujhse ab pyar nahi karti bhool gayi who sab vaade jo humne ek dusre se kiye the.” Aur yeh kehte hi main zor se ro pada main apne aansu rok nahi paaya, zindagi main jisse itna pyar kiya wohi dur chali jaaye to zindagi ka kya matlab! Jise hum apni zindagi maante ho wohi humein chod kar chala jaaye to zindagi ki koi kimat nahi rehti. Waqt guzarta gaya aur main bikharta gaya. Mere aansu mere bewafaa pyar ki nishani the. Toot gaye who saare sapne who saare vaade. Ab to jeise pyar shabd se nafrat si ho gayi thi, par haan abhi bhi kahi na kahin dil ke kisi kone main kavita rehti thi. Itna bharosa tha mujhe mere pyar par ki ek na ek din who zarur aayegi. …

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Main roz uske ghar ke paas jaata tha ki shayad uski ek zhalak mujhe dikh jaaye, aur main usse dekh kar apne dil ko phir se manalun. Who aisa keise kar sakti hai? Usko kya ho gaya? Kitna pyar karti thi who mujhe! Ya who mere saath mazaak kar rahi thi, ya bhool gayi sab? Mere dimaag main hamesha yeh sawaalat hote rehte the, par mere paas koi jawaab nahi tha in sawaalon ka, jo sirf kavita hi de sakti thi. Who to door ek dum door chali gayi thi mujhko akela chod kar, mujhe sirf apni yaadein de gayi thi jisse ab zindagi bitaani thi. Aur main aaj bhi apni zindagi se dur rehkar zinda hoon shayad isliye kyun ki main usse bahot pyaar karta hoon aur uski khushi main hi apni khushi maine paa li hai… shayad hum door rahe yeh who chahti thi aur isi liye mujhse dur chaligayi thi shayad ushu main uski khushi thi who yeh samajhti thi… aakhri baar maine jub usse baat ki thi aaj bhi yaad hai mujhe who din jiss din maine kavita ko hamesha ke liye kho diya tha… uss din main kavita ko bahot yaad kar raha tha mujhse raha nahi jaata tha, par kya pata tha ki is ki bhi aadat ab mujhe daal deni padegi aaj ke baad. Mujhe pata tha ki kavita ko ab meri aavaz pasand nahi thi, par main bhi reh nahi paaya mera dil uski aawaz sunne ke liye tadap raha tha. maine usko phone kiya usne phone uthaya mera dil zor zor se dhadak ne laga tha jeise pehlibaar usse milte waqt hua tha, maine usse poocha “kavita tumhe kya ho gaya hai? Mujhse koi galati hui hai kya? Maine kuch galat kiya hai tumhare saath? Mera kya kasoor hai ki tum mere saath aisa kar rahi ho! Kya tum sab kuch bhool gayi? Mere saath guzaare saare who pal jo zindagi ke haseen pal me se the, sab kuch bhool gayi tum?” main sab ek hi saans main bol gaya aur meri aawaz bhi geeli ho gayi thi. Kavita ne bas itna kahaa “akshay please hum nshi mil sakte , bas tum mujhe bhool jaao, aur kabhi mujhe phone mat karna” bas uske yeh shabd mere kaano main padte hi main phone rakhne ke bhi kaabil nahi raha, main usi waqt toot pada, mere aansu nadi ki tarha behne lage, dil to jeise dhadakna hi bandh ho gaya, aur dimaag to bas kaam karne laayak hi nahi raha, iss tarha roya jeise kisi chote bacche ka khilona kisine chinn liya ho aue who chota baccha jeise khilone ke liye rota hai. Bahot roya tha us din jeise jeene ka makshad hi khatam ho gaya ho. Meri zindagi main aaj pehli baar mujhe itna rona aaya tha, itna roya ki baaki ki zindagi ke liye bhi aansu nahi bache the… uss din ke baad kavita ko maine kabi nahi dekha tha, mujhe itna pata chala tha ki usne apne hi boss ke saath shadi karli hai aur yeh seher chod kar dusre seher chali gayi hai, bass zindagi main yehi sunna baki tha who bhi khwahish puri ho gayi. Who to bhool kar kisi aur ke saath shaadi kar ke chali bhi gayi, par usko kuch yaad na raha yeh main aaj bhi nahi maanta, mera dil nahi maanta, ek bas ek pal to usko yaad hoga, kabhi na kabhi kisi bhi pal main usne mujhe ek baar to pyaar kiya hoga na? Kheir acha hua chali gayi seher chod kar, kam se kam dil mera sabhal ke rahega, bas aise hi sochte sochte hue 10 saal kahaan guzar gaye pata hi nahi chala… Aaj 10 saal ke baad bus stop par mujhe zindagi ne phir se apne atit se mila diya, mujhe apne atit ke baare main sochne par majbur kar diya….

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Achanak mummy ki aawaz aayi “akshay bate khana taiyar hai chalo niche! Arre yeh kya aaj to tumne kapde bhi nahi badle aur nahaye bhi nahi lagte, lagta hai tum kuch pareshaan ho! Kya baat hai bete mujhe batao!” “are kuch nahi mummy main to bas aise hi kuch soch raha tha aur kab so gaya pata nahi chala, main abhi aata hoon niche fresh ho kar” “thik hai beta tu,hari marzi papa tumhari raah dekh rahe hai niche jaldi aao niche” aur main thodi der main niche gaya papa ne mere chehre ko padh liya tha. papa ne kaha “kya baat hai akshay aaj rand uda hua kyun hai tumhare chehre par?” maine papa se kuch nahi chupaaya “papa aaj kavita mili thi” mummy aur papa meri baat sun kar achanak chakeet ho gaye aur mujhe aise dekh ne lage jeise unke saamne main nahi par koi ajnabee beitha ho. Mujhe pata tha ki yeh sunkar unko bahot bada zhatka lagega, par main unnse koi bhi baat nahi chupaata tha, to bhala yeh baat keise chupa sakta tha! papa ne mujhe poocha “kyon aaj who itne saalon ke baad wapas aayi, tumhe phirse pareshaan karne? Kya baat hui tumhari?” maine papa ki aakhon main ek ajeeb si chamak dekhi, jeise woh apne bete ko phirse toot te hue nahi dekhna chahte the, shayad unnke andar sab takleef se ladne ki shakti thi par apne bete ko aise phirse laachar hote hue dekhne ki shakti unn main nahi thi… zaayaz hi to hai iss duniya main koi bhi baap apne bete ko aise toot te hue nahi dekhna chahega. Who apni jagha par thik the. Papa ki aakhein bhar aayi kyunki papa mere sirf ek pitah nahi the who mere ek acche dost jeise the, jo mere atit ke baare main aur mujh par guzre har takleef ko who mehsus kar sakte the. Maine phir bhi papa ko samjhaya, aur kaha “papa who to aaj meri car kharaab ho gayi thi is liye aaj bus me aane waala tha, main bus stop par khada tha to who mujhe wahaan mili, phir bhi main uske paas nahi gaya tha balke who mere paas aayi aur mujhse baatein karne lagi, aisa laga jeise who aaj bhi…” aur yeh kehte kehte mera gala bhar aaya main apni baat khatam bhi nahi kar paaya aur aankh phirse apna jaam chalkane lagi, papa mere adhure shabd ho samajh gaye, aur unhone khade ho kar mujhe gale laga liya, main shayad abhi khul kar ro raha tha, papa mujhe sambhaal rahe the, papa ne mujhe pehle ki tarha phir se who hi honsla diya jeise who mujhe pehle bhi dete the, unho ne kahaa “aey akshay! Bas itne main haar maan li! Bete jub tak ki main tumhe jaanta hoon tum mere bete ho jo kabhi zindagi main haarna nahi sikha, hamesha apni zindagi se ladna sikha hai, kya tum mere who saare asool bhool gaye jo maine tumhe sikhaye the! Tumhe honsla rakhna hoga bete! Shayad bhagwaan ki bhi yehi marzi hogi ki kavita aur tum sirf ek dusre ke liye bane ho, is hi liye to who aaj phirse itne saalo ke baad wapas aayi hai, bete tum koi bhi feisla loge who humein manjur hoga, kyun ki main apne bete ko acchi tarha jaanta hoon! Who kabhi galat faisla nahi lega, mujhe tum par pura bharosa hai.” Aur main apne papa ke sine se lag gaya, maine unko kavita ki who saari baatein bataayi jo aaj maine usko 10 saal ke baad dekhne ke baad mehsoos ki thi. Phir bhi papa ko koi aitraaz nahi tha ki main jo feisla karu unko manzur tha….

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Aaj raat main so nahi paaya mera atit mere kamre main biche andhere main baar baar ghum raha tha. kal Sunday tha office bandh tha. main puri raat kavita ke baare main sochta raha, aakhir main andhere ke baad der se hi sahi par roshni hui, aur jeise saare atit ka naamo nishaan mita diya roshni hote hi andhera gayab ho gaya, nayi subha nayi shuruaat… maine puri raat sochte sochte yeh feisla kiya ki main phirse milunga kavita se. isliye nahi ki maine usse pyar karta tha balke isliye ki mujhe usse bahot saare sawaal poochne the, jiske jawaab main 10 saalo se dhoondh raha hoon. Jiske jawaab sirf who hi de sakti thi. Main apne bed se utha aur fresh ho kar ek ghante main gharse nikal hi raha tha, jaate waqt papa ne poocha “kahaan jaa rahe ho bete itni subha? Aaj tumhara office chalu hai?” maine kahaa “haan papa aaj aapka beta 10 saal pehle jis office main kaam karta tha wahaan jaa kar kuch jawaab lene hai bass who hi lene jaa raha hoon, aap ko apne bete par bharosa to hai na papa?” aur papa sab samjh gaye jo main keh raha tha. aur unho ne sar hilaa kar mujhe aarshiwaad diye aur jaane ki anumati de di… main ghar se nikal pada shayad aaj main ani zindagi ke kuch aise pal ke faasle door karne jaa raha tha jo pal meri zindagi ke sabse acche pal main se hai. Aaj phir 10 saal ke baad jeise zindagi jeene ke liye betaab ho rahi thi. Maine aaj apne dil se bhi keh diya tha ki aaj bhi har waqt ki tarha mera saath de, kyunki jiss dil ko kavita ne todd diya tha who dil to kab ka toot ke bikhar chuka tha, aur kisike liye to kya khud ke liye bhi jeene ki shakti usme nahi rahi thi shayad, par jub maine kal kavita ko 10 saal ke baad phir dekha to aisa laga! jeise who hi dil ke kisi kone main kavita ki kalam aaj bhi kuch na kuch likhti hai, kavita wahaan jeise kai saalo se rehti thi par aaj usne yeh mehsoos karvaaya ki haan akshay aaj bhi main tumhare ushi dil main rehti hoon jis dil ko maine 10 saal pehle todd diya tha, aur use akela chod gayi thi… haan aaj main mehsoos kar raha tha aaj bhi mere kadam jeise uske paas jaane ke liye aage badhte hai, mera dil ushi tarha zor zor se dhadakne lagta hai, aaj bhi meri dhadkan itni tez chal rahi thi, sochta tha pata nahi aaj who keisi hogi, kiss haalat main hogi! Aaj bhi usse who har cheez pasand hogi ! jo usse ek zamaane main ua karti thi, meri aawaz haan use meri aawaz bahot pasand thi, meri aawaz sunke who mujhe pehchaan leti thi, main bas yeh hi chahta tha ki who khush rahe, agar uski khushi mujhse juda hone main hi thi to aaj who bahot khush honi chahiye, main bhi aaj bahot khush tha kyunki aaj mere saare sawaalon ke jawaab milne waale the kyunki main ab tak jeeta aaya hoon to bas ushi sawaal ke jawaab ke liye, jo mujhe pata tha zindagi ke modd par kahi na kahi, kabhi na kabhi mere sawaalon ke jawaab jaroor milenge, dil main ek asha ki kiran aaj tak bekaraar thi, kamre me raat ke andhere ko pata tha ek na ek din usko jaana hi hoga…. Bas issi tarha har kisi ki zindagi main agar andhera hai to roshni bhi hothi hai, papa ne kaha tha, zindagi ke har modd par agar kabhi andhera dikhe to uss se ladna hoga aur roshni ko laana hoga, bas humein honsla rakhna hota hai, waqt ke aane ka intezaar karna hota hai… shayad aaj meri bhi intezaar ki ghadi khatam ho chuki thi waqt ka thoda intezaar karna tha, par aaj shayad waqt bahot dheere chal raha tha, aise hi hota hai hum jiska besabri se intezaar karte hai tab humein aksar aisa lagta hai ki jeise aaj waqt dhere se chal raha hai aur meri zindagi ki kasauti baar baar le rahaa hai….

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Meri car kal office main kharaab ho gayi thi, isliye main car office par hi chodd aaya tha. aaj phir mujhe jaldi pahonchna tha meri manzil meri raah dekh rahi thi, par who mujhse bahot dur thi, isliye aajbhi maine bus main jaane ka faisla kiya. Main phirse bustop par gaya aur jeb se kavita ne diya hua pata nikala. Mujhe sheher se thode dur ek dusra chota sa seher tha bas wahan jaana tha, main bus main chadh gaya. Beithe beithe main sochne laga, aur bus aage badhi, main apni manzil ki taraf aage badhne laga, dil ki dhadkan jeise ruk ruk kar chal ne lagi. Kaafi waqt tha abhi mujhe apni mazil tak pahunchne main. Main kavita ke khayaalon main phir kahin kho gaya, maine apni jeb se kavita ki tasveer nikaali, aur usko bas dekhne laga, dekhte dekhte meri aakhein geeli ho gayi, main phirse apne atiit main kho gaya, who din, who baatein main kabhi nahi bhoola paaya, aaj bhi who tasveer meri inn aankho main hai… “kavita main tumse ek baat poochun? Sahi jawaab dena ok?” “arre aisa kyun bol rahe ho ? main tumse kya juth bolungi, haan chalo poocho kya baat hai?” “accha chalo socho! Socho ki main kabhi ek din tumhein bataaye bina, ekdum door bahot door chala jaaun, jahaan tum mere paas aana bhi chaho to naa aa sako, to tum kya karogi? Mere bina reh paaogi?” “arre paagalo jeisi kyun baat kar rahe ho? Bhala tum mujhse door kyun jaaoge? Mujhe pata hai ki tum mujhse door jaa hi nahi sakte” “arre kyun main tumse door kyun nahi jaa sakta? Yeh kisne keh diya tumhe! Tumhe keise pata main nahi jaa sakta tumse door?” “who is liye mr.buddhu! ki mujhe pata hai ki tum mujhse bahot pyar karte ho itna pyar ki tum apne aap se bhi nahi karte, aur mujhe tumpe bahot bharosa hai itna barhosa to mujhe khud par bhi nahi, aur mujhe yeh bhi maalum hai ki tum muje apni zindagi maante ho to tum apni hi zindagi se door keise jaa sakte ho? Isliye main jaanti hoon ki tum mujhse kabho door nahi jaaoge ok!” yeh who pal hai jo main aksar apne dil main sajaaye rakhta tha, yeh who pal hai jise main mar ke bhi nahi bhoola sakta. Meri bandh aankhon se bhi aansu saaf baahar aa rahe the. Achanak bus ek dhaake ke saath rukk gayi, aur main apne atit se bahaar aa gaya, aakhein khol kar dekha to uska seher aa gaya tha, main apni manzil ke kareeb tha. maine bus se utar te hi ek texi kar li aur usko kavita ke likhe pate par jaane ko kaha. Aaj main soch raha tha uske to bacche bho ho gaye honge, in 10 saal main shaayad who badal bhi gayi hogi, jaate jaate aise hi vichaar man main baar baar aane lage. Main aakhir me uske ghar tak pahonch gaya. Mane uska ghar dekha aisa laga jeise wahaan koi rehta na ho, aur jeise kai saalo se makaan bandh pada ho! Wahaan kaa maahol mujhe kuch thik nahi laga, who aisi jagha rehti thi jeise wahaan insaan nahi jaanwar baste ho. Itna ganda maahol tha ki wahaan sirf jaanwar hi reh sake. Yeh sab dekh kar meri aakhein bhar aayi. Main aansuon ko rok kar ghar ka darwaaza khat khataaya. Andar se aawaz aayi “koun? Koun hai?” kya jawaab deta main! Jo khud hi yahaan uske paas jawaab maangne aaya tha, uski aawaz sun kar mere dil ke har taar jeise kisine hila diye the. Dil ke dhadakne ki raftaar badh rahi thi, abhi who darwaaza kholegi, aur mujhe dekh kar ro padegi. Akhir main kayi baar poochne ke baad koi jawaab na milne par usne darwaaja khola, uski aakhein meri aakhon ko aise nihaar rahi thi jeise kayi saalo se taras gayi ho dedaar ke liye, uski har ek dhadkan aaj bhi main mehsoos kar raha tha, uski saasein mere dil se phirse baatein karne lagi thi. Who mujhe bas dekhe hi jaa rahi thi, uski aakhen palak bhi nahi jhapka rahe the. Aakhir me maine usko koi sapne se jagaya aur is khaamoshi ko todte hue kahaa “andar nahi bulaogi kavita?” who jeise apne atit main kho gayi thi meri aawaz sunkar who apne atit se bahaar aayi aur kahaa “oh aao na main to bhool hi gayi! Beitho!” main uske ghar ke andar gaya aur beith gaya who mere liye andar paani lene gayi. Main usko ghar ko dekhne laga, uska ghar aise lagta tha jeise iss ghar main kavita ? na nahi aisa nahi ho sakta! Kavita aise ghar main nahi nahi… mera dil nahi maan raha tha sacchai ko, jeise maan na chahta hi nahi tha. uski aisi haalat main kabhi nahi soch sakta tha. kya yeh wohi kavita hai! Jo kisi zamaane main who mehlo main rani ki tarha saja karti thi? Kya yeh who hi kavita hai jo ek aisa sapna dekhti thi jise who mere saath pura hote hue dekhna chahti thi! Nahi yeh meri kavita nahi jisko main 10 saal pehle jaanta tha… aakhir main sacchai ko aankhose dekhne ke baad to apna na hi padta hai, par shayad aaj main inn aankhon par bhi bharosa nahi karna chahta tha, meri aakhein bhi mujhe aaj dhoka de raho ho aisa lagta tha. aankho main aansu nikal ne ke liye zhatpata rahe the, main ne aansuon ko rokk diya. Kavita aakar mere saamne beithi. Aur apni aakhein zuka kar beithi rahi. Shayad ab uski aankhein meri aakhon ka saamna nahi kar sakti thi. Kavita wahaan par ek bewafaa nahi par ek majboor aurat ki tarha lag rahi thi. Par main aaj apne saare sawaalon ka jawaab lena chahta tha, main usse puchna chahta tha ki usne aisa kyun kiya mere saath, kyun mujhe chod diya akela? Aakhir main usne mujhe kahaa “mujhe pata hai akshay tum kya soch rahe ho! Main tumhare har sawaal ka jawaab doongi, aaj tum puchoge aur main jawaab doongi, mujhe shaayad is haalat main dekh kar tumhe tarjub ho raha hoga. Hai na?” maine uski saari baatein suni, meri aakhein aakhir main geeli ho gayi, main aansu rokk nahi paaya, maine usse who har sawaal poochte hue kahaa! “agar jaanti ho to bata bhi do kavita! Kya galati thi meri? Maine kya galat kiya tha tumhare saath? Aisi kya majboori thi ki tumhe mujhse door hona pada? Maine tumhara kya bigaada tha? kya mere saath pyar ka sirf naatak kar rahi thi? Kya tumhari zindagi main koi aur tha? kya mujh main koi kami thi? Kya kuch galat kiya tha maine tumhare saath? Kavita mujhe batao kya hua tha? agar door hi jaana tha to mili kyun mujhe mere saath pyar ka khel kyun khela tumne! Aur aakhri sawaal aaj phir kyun saamne khadi ho mere atit ko lekar agar jaana hi tha to waapas kyun aayi ? mujhe 10 saalo se yeh sawaal kaanto ki tarha chubh rahe hai meri neend bhi cheen li hai tumne kavita! Please ek baar sir ek baar mujhpar yeh ehsaan kardo!” main toot pada aansu nadiki tarha beh rahe the, kavita bhi ro padi, jeise saare sawaal usko chubh rahe the, aaj phir usko sacchai ka saamna karna tha. usne mujhe rote hue kahaa “haan akshay main tumhe sab sach sach kahungi, main bahot khudgarz insaan hoon, zindagi main hamesha sab ke pyar ko thokar maar ke aage badh ne ki koshish ki hai. Main tumse door chali gayi, shayad main uss waqt tumse pyar to karti thi par mere abhimaan ne mere swarth ne ya mere laalach ne tumhare pyar ko bhoola diya, main isi liye tumse door chali gayi, itni door ki main kabhi laut kar waapas na aa saki. Main tumse aaj bhi utna hi pyar karti hoon jitna pehle karti thi, akshay mujhe pata hai meri galati maaf karne jeisi nahi hai par main tumhari har saza mazur kar loongi jo bhi saza tum mujhe dena chaho mujhe mazur hai. 10 saal pehle main jab naukari par lagi thi! Dheere dheere mere mann main mere dil main bas ekhi cheez ka joonun sawaar hota tha, mujhe bahot naam kamaana tha! shayad main bahot badi bann na chahti thi. Main peise ki chamak main itni andhi ho chuki thi ki main tumhara pyar tak bhool gayi, main tumhe bhool gayi, who saare pal bhool gayi, jo humne saath main guzaare the. Akshay tumse juda hone ke baad maine ek buisness man aur bahot bade insaan ke saath shaadi kar li, aur who insaan aur koi nahi main jiss company main kaam karti thi uss company ke maalik the. Haan main sochti thi ki shaadi karke maine apni zindagi ki saari manzil paa li hai, par nahi main galat thi paise to maine bahot paaye par ek aur cheez thi jo main kabki piche chodd aayi thi, meri manzil yeh nahi thi, apni manzil to main kabki piche chodd aayi thi, jo ab kabi nahi mil sakegi… main apni zindagi se bahot aage nikal chuki thi, jahaan waapas piche jaana naa mumkin tha. akshay zindagi main bhi kitne modd aate hai! Aur takdeer bhi keise rang dikhati hai! Meri shaadi ke ek shaal baad meri zindagi jeise berang ho gayi, jeise meri zindagi main koi rang hi nahi bacha tha. meri pehchaan ek vidhva ki hone lagi, haan ek haadse main, unki maut ho gayi, aur main akeli ho gayi. Takdeer na aaj mujhe akela chod diya iss modd par. Humaari company 6 mahino se lost main chal rahi thi, bahot karz ho gaya tha company ke upar aur aise me unki maut ho gayi aur saath saath sab kuch lete gaye, main akeli to ho gayi par mere paas yeh makaan ke alaava aur kuch bhi nahi bacha. Shayad zindagi ne aur takdeer ne mujhe apne atit me kiye hue saare galatiyon ka ehsaas dila diya tha, aur mujhe who galati sudharne ka mauka diya tha. main nahi jaanti akshay ki tum mujhe maaf karoge ya nahi par main yeh jaanti hoon ki meri galati maaf karne laayak nahi hai, maine tumhe bahot dukh diya hai, uski wajah se meri takdeer ne mujhe iss haalat main rakhkar yeh hi saza dene ka faisla kiya hai. Akshay tumhari koi bhi galati nahi thi galati to bas meri thi jo maine tumhe aur tumhare pyar ko thukaraake chali gayi thi. Main ab tumse door chali jaaungi main jaanti thi ki tum inn sab sawaalon se kitne dard she rahe honge, isiliye aaj iss modd par main tumhe jawaab dene aayi thi, ab meri parchaayi bhi tumhe pareshaan nahi karegi yeh mera vaada hai tumse, main yeh seher chodd kar bahot door chali jaaungi…” main ek ghante tak uski saari baatein sunta raha aur aansu bahaata raha, who bhi apne aansu bahaati rahi, aur mere har sawaalon ke jawaab deti gayi. Aaj shaayad maine uski aankho main saccha pyar dekha tha. jeise 10 saal pehle nahi par aaj usne mujhse pyaar kiya tha. main aaj mehsoos kar raha tha ki sach me main uss se saccha pyaar karta tha. mujhe uski galatiyon par naaraz hone ki bajaay uske pachtaave par pyaar aa raha tha. maine uske paas jaa kar uski aakhon se aansu ponch diye aur kahaa “abhi bhi der nahi hui kavita, tum apni galati sudhaar sakti ho, main tumara saath dunga, par usse pehle tumhe saza hogi, main tumhe saza doonga.” Kavita mere saamne dekhte hue boli “haan mujhe sab manzoor hai tum mujhe jo bhi saza dena chahte ho main hanse hue sweekaar kar lungi” maine uska haath pakda aur kahaa “tumari saza yeh hai ki mujhe zindagi bhar sambhaal na hoga, aur bardaasht karna hoga. Kya mere saath shaadi karogi?” meri baat soon kar kavita ka dil zor zor se dhadak ne laga aur usko bahot bada dhakka laga, ro ro kar uski aakhen laal ho gayi thi, usne mujhse poochte hue kahaa “kya? Kya! To tumne aaj tak shaadi nahi ki? Mere wajah se tumhe itna bada feisla karliya?” maine kahaa “ haan kavita tum jaanti ho meri zindagi sirf tum thi aur hamesha tum rahogi, main apni zindagi se bewafaai keise kar sakta hoon? Yeh baat alag hai ki zindagi wafaa naa kare” aur meri aakhon se aakhri baar phirse aansu nikal pade. Main jaanta tha kavita aaj bhi mujhse bahot pyar karti thi. Uska dil sirf aur sirf mere aur mere liye hi aaj bhi dhadakta tha. shaayad aaj mujhe zindagi jeene ka koi makshad mill gaya tha. kavita ne bhi meri di gayi iss saza ko apna liya. Aaj bhagwaan ne mujhe har khushi dedi. Main shayad jo paa na chahta tha use paa chuka tha. kavita ko maine alvida keh kar apne ghar chala gaya…

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Maine ghar jaa kar papa ko sab bataaya aur who sab baatein unse kahi jo kavita ne mujhse kahi thi. Papa ko aaj bhi apne bete par naaz tha. unho ne kahaa “bete aaj yeh feisala kar ke tumne yeh dikha diya ki aaj bhi mere sanskaar tumhare andar zinda hai. Tum ushi baap ke bete ho jo baap 10 saal pehle tumara honsla badhata rehta tha, aur zindagi main kabhi haarna nahi sikhaya tha, mujhe tum par garv hai bete” main aaj phir se jeet gaya apne papa ki nazar main. Papa ne mujhe aashirwaad diye aur kaha “bete tum aaj 10 saal ke baad hi sahi apne pyar ki jang jeet gaye.” Papa ki baat sun kar mujhe bhi apne aap par garv hone laga, main kitna khush naseeb hoon jo mujhe aise maa baap mile, bhagwaan kare main har janam main unhika beta banoon. Meri aur kavita ki shaadi tay ki gayi. Aaj main bahot khush tha itna khush main kabhi nahi hua tha, kavita se to mera sirf iss zindagi ka hi nahi par kayi janmo tak ka rishta hai. Aaj mujhe meri zindagi main life, love aur luck ka matlab samajh main aaya tha. shaayad iska matlab yehi tha… aaj who har faasle mit chuke the jise main 10 saal se mehsoos kar raha tha, kitne modd aaye aur chale gaye, par har modd pe ek nayi kahaani isi ka to naam hai zindagi… har zindagi ki raah main ek na ek baar aur sirf ek baar hota hai aur issi ka naam to pyar hai… Aur jo waqt ke saath guzar jaaye who jo waqt ke saath aaye who jo waqt ko mehsoos karaaye ushi ka naam hai takdeer….. Zindagi bahot khoobsurat hai, to isse har khushi ke saath jeena chahiye. Life is too good, so never ignore to live with full fillings, In life leave something for someone, never leave someone for something, Because in life something will leave you but someone will always live with you... Always remember it…



Allways remember in life Some Moments never be Passed, Some Feelings never be Stolen, Some Memory never be Hidden And Some Person never be Forgotten…

Written By,
Jimmy K. Lineswala


Yaad main teri Aahein bharta hai koi,
har saans ke saath yujhe yaad karta hai koi,
maut sacchai hai ek roz aani hai,
lekin teri Judaai main har Roz marta hai koi....

Last edited by jimmysaid; 16th February 2007 at 09:47 PM..
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14th August 2007, 03:19 PM

Jimmy G ko Jasdeep Singh ka Namaskar......

Dard aur ehsaas duniya ke woh do shabd hai jo insaan ko bahut achha aur sachha bana dete hai......
par yeh dard kabhi kabhi insaan ko kuch aise ehsaas bhi de jaata hai jo ke hamein khud se bhi begaana kar dete hai aur kai baar yeh hamein khud ke aur kareeb le aate hai.......

Aapne jo bhi yaha byaan kiya main unme chhipe hue dard aur ehsaas dono ko samajh sakta hoon.
nahi keh paunga ke isse padte hue kitni baar aisa laga jaise dil ro raha hai par har baar khud ko maine sambhala aur aankhon ne bhi sailaab ko roke rakha....

par na jaane isse padte hue kuch shabd aise the jo bilkul apne se lag rahe the, maano mujhe kisi ne kahe ho ya phir mere liye kisi ne feel kiye ho........

mujhe nahi pata ke ab tak apki iss post pe kisi ne reply kyun nahi kiya?????

par sach maano to zindagi kabhi kabhi hamare saath bahut khel khelti hai jo hamesha hamein satate rehte hai par zindagi mein apni manzil se bichhad kar phir se apni manzil ko paana bahut hi kam logon ke naseeb mein hota hai........

shayad iske aage kehne ke liye mere paas words nahi hai ya phir main keh nahi paunga........
mujhe muaaf kariyega.....



Badnaseeb bhi nahi par mera naseeb bhi nahi
Maana ke main ameer nahi par gareeb bhi nahi
Dil ki gehraaiyon mein chhipaya hai jise
Woh door bhi nahi mujhse par kareeb bhi nahi
Chahta to hoon dena usko khushiyan saare jahan ki
par mil jaayein unke gham "Jasdeep" itna khushnaseeb bhi nahi
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