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  (#161)
zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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13th July 2014, 02:22 PM

[QUOTE=zidd;461796]


--------------------------------
Ho gaye hum ek pal me khaak-bos
Aakpi nazroN ne kya bosa diya [ ! or ? ]

------------------------------------
Zidd sahab ke is sher se seekhne ka ek aur nukta milta hai .... yahaaN jumla "khaak-bos" ka istemaal kiya gaya hai, which means "one that is kissing the dust". aise aur bhi jumle haiN jahaaN "bos" ko lafz ke aakhir meiN (as suffix) rakh kar jumla bana hai. examples are "pa-bos" which means "one that is kissing the feet" ya "aasmaaN-bos" ya "one that is kissing the feet". Members se request haiN ki jo "bos" as suffix par aur roshni daal sakte haiN, wo apni raay se nawaazeiN.

is sher meiN misra-e-oola meiN "bos" aur misra-e-saanee meiN "bosa" ka istemaal kar ke Zidd sahab ne waaqayee "fusoon-e-alfaaz" paida kiya hai


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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  (#162)
zidd
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zidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzidd is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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13th July 2014, 02:37 PM

[QUOTE=zarraa;461828]
Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post


--------------------------------
Ho gaye hum ek pal me khaak-bos
Aakpi nazroN ne kya bosa diya [ ! or ? ]

------------------------------------
Zidd sahab ke is sher se seekhne ka ek aur nukta milta hai .... yahaaN jumla "khaak-bos" ka istemaal kiya gaya hai, which means "one that is kissing the dust". aise aur bhi jumle haiN jahaaN "bos" ko lafz ke aakhir meiN (as suffix) rakh kar jumla bana hai. examples are "pa-bos" which means "one that is kissing the feet" ya "aasmaaN-bos" ya "one that is kissing the feet". Members se request haiN ki jo "bos" as suffix par aur roshni daal sakte haiN, wo apni raay se nawaazeiN.

is sher meiN misra-e-oola meiN "bos" aur misra-e-saanee meiN "bosa" ka istemaal kar ke Zidd sahab ne waaqayee "fusoon-e-alfaaz" paida kiya hai
mai deh raha tha kab ispar nigah jaati hai saahibaano ki...pahle bold kiya tha , phir hata diya...socha dehte hai kaun point out karta hai.
   
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  (#163)
zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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13th July 2014, 02:49 PM

[QUOTE=zidd;461832]
Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post

mai deh raha tha kab ispar nigah jaati hai saahibaano ki...pahle bold kiya tha , phir hata diya...socha dehte hai kaun point out karta hai.
ji pehli dafa hi ye meri nigaah meiN aa gayee thee, lekin itnee baatoN meiN ye baat kehnee reh gayee. phir jab yaad aaya ki ye baat miss ho gayee hai to alag se us ka zikr kar diya.


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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  (#164)
zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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13th July 2014, 07:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Nam ankhon par wo tere bose ka lams
Khudaya aaj bhi roney se roktiin hain
Waaahhh !!!! Kya bheege huwe ehsaas haiN is sher meiN !!

"nam ankhon par bose ka lams" ... simply outstanding !!

Dheron daad aur bahaut si mubarakbaad is sher par aap ko N@zneen ji !


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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  (#165)
zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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13th July 2014, 10:07 PM

ek aur sher arz hai lafz "bose" par ...

is tarah yaad teri dil meiN hai mere pinhaaN
narm aariz pe jo bose ka ho halka sa nishaaN

- zarraa

(pinhaaN = concealed, aariz = cheek)


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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  (#166)
zainy
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zainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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14th July 2014, 12:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ufaq View Post
Ek SHE'R

Bose Ke waqt dono ki palke'n jhuki rahii,
Tark-e-hayaa huyi to thii lekin hayaa Ke saath


Written by ....pankaj sijwali ufaq.
Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Nam ankhon par wo tere bose ka lams
Khudaya aaj bhi roney se roktiin hain
Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
ek aur sher arz hai lafz "bose" par ...

is tarah yaad teri dil meiN hai mere pinhaaN
narm aariz pe jo bose ka ho halka sa nishaaN

- zarraa

(pinhaaN = concealed, aariz = cheek)

bohat khoob....................................




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

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Old
  (#167)
Hassan
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Hassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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14th July 2014, 01:02 AM

koi nahi jo bosa de!
maa! jab se gayi chhood ke....


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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  (#168)
aadeil
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14th July 2014, 01:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
bosa shabnam ka phool ke rukh par
sub'he dam yaad aa gaya koyee

- zarraa
Zarraji,
bahot hi khubsurat sher pesh kiya hai ..
jazbaat ko baDii sundarta se baandhaa hai...

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
Lijiye mera sher!

HaseeN hai yeh manzar haseeN hai nazaara
Ufaq per zameeN aasmaaN ka yeH bosa
Zainyji,
khubsurat sher pesh kiya hai.... daad..... waah... umda......

Quote:
Originally Posted by Praneeta View Post
tere fusoon-e-bosa ki kya tareef karun 'ananthpak'
ke ek bosa ne umr bhar ka itminaan de diya
Quote:
Originally Posted by ananthpak View Post
muntazir hun iltija par meri kab tu dil-o-jaan se razi hogi

k tera ik bosa hi iss aashiq par zara-nawazi hogi
bahot hi khub, Anantji aur Praneetaji.... daad pesh hai

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
kuch sher mere taraf se bhi

Lagta garma garm hi accha
Ab ho bosa ya ho samosa

---------------------------------

SaikhDo laana.te hai bose par
Apni to kat gayi samose par

--------------------------------
Ho gaye hum ek pal me khaak-bos
Aakpi nazroN ne kya bosa diya [ ! or ? ]

------------------------------------

Ik khwaab ka tawaaf tha darparda kwaab ke
Kya le liya tha bosa hi but ke naqaab ka ?


check kijiye sirji...al raaat post karne wala tha magar baat karte karte bhool gaya
Ziddsaab,
baarish me.n samose toh bante hi hai LOLzzz.....
bahot hi khubsurat bayaanaat huii hai.. uss per daad...

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
chaliye meri taraf se bhii isi par ek sher arz hai...... zidd saahab khaaskar ke aapki nazr..

bivi ki ye zidd thii ke milegaa tabhii BOSAA,
baahar ka khilaao mujhe DOSA ya SAMOSAA...

Shaad....
Shoaibbhai,
Lagta hai subah subah baarish me.n biwi ne samose lene bhej diya wo bhii Sunday ko, aapko LOLzzzz....

Quote:
Originally Posted by ufaq View Post
Ek SHE'R

Bose Ke waqt dono ki palke'n jhuki rahii,
Tark-e-hayaa huyi to thii lekin hayaa Ke saath


Written by ....pankaj sijwali ufaq.
Ufaq saab,
jawaab nahi, kya khubsurat tareh se aapne bose lafz ka istemaal kiya hai... jaanibse daad....

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Nam ankhon par wo tere bose ka lams
Khudaya aaj bhi roney se roktiin hain
Nazneen,
chhupa rustom kaun hai?
kya sher banaayaa hai... behad khubsurat....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
koi nahi jo bosa de!
maa! jab se gayi chhood ke....
Hassanbhai,
bahot khub...



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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  (#169)
aadeil
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14th July 2014, 02:20 PM

hamaarii ek koshish

paa-bosii* hai milii jo unse (kissing feet)
bosa-zanii* kuchh ab aur bhii toh ho (kissing)
bosiida-fazaa* kii kya fikar hai (delicate/fragile moment)
ki bosa-e-lab* bhii kabhii toh ho (kissing of lips)


Adil 'Safeer'

-----------------------------



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



http://www.shayri.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic89874_2.gif

Last edited by aadeil; 14th July 2014 at 02:49 PM..
   
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  (#170)
zainy
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zainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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14th July 2014, 02:52 PM

Quote:
hamaarii ek koshish

paa-bosii* hai milii jo unse (kissing feet)
bosa-zanii* kuchh ab aur bhii toh ho (kissing)
bosiida-fazaa* kii kya fikar hai (delicate/fragile moment)
ki bosa-e-lab* bhii kabhii toh ho (kissing of lips)

Adil 'Safeer'

SUPERB WORD PLAY!






Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

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  (#171)
aadeil
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14th July 2014, 03:08 PM

aur ek..
bos-o-kanaar* me.n uljhe yu.n, wo bhii shab-e-firaaq me.n
namii na dekhii aa.nkho.n kii, subah thii unkii taak me.n

*bos-o-kanaar = embrassing/kissing & hugging



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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  (#172)
aadeil
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14th July 2014, 03:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
SUPERB WORD PLAY!


Thank you.. Zainyji..........



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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  (#173)
Hassan
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Hassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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Smile 14th July 2014, 08:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
hamaarii ek koshish

paa-bosii* hai milii jo unse (kissing feet)
bosa-zanii* kuchh ab aur bhii toh ho (kissing)
bosiida-fazaa* kii kya fikar hai (delicate/fragile moment)
ki bosa-e-lab* bhii kabhii toh ho (kissing of lips)


Adil 'Safeer'

-----------------------------

Hahaha.. Aadil bhai..

Boht hi dilkashi se biyaan kiya hy maajra..
Boht maza aaya pha'd kar..

DuaaoN ke saath,,


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")

Last edited by Hassan; 14th July 2014 at 08:25 PM..
   
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  (#174)
sameer'shaad'
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sameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comsameer'shaad' is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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14th July 2014, 08:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
koi nahi jo bosa de!
maa! jab se gayi chhood ke....
hasssan saahaab... in do missron ne wo kamaal kar ddiyaa ke main bayaan nahi kar saktaa.... kyaaa baat hai bhai...... bahot hi umdaa sher kah diyaa aapne... meri janaib se laakhon daad..


Shaad...
   
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zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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14th July 2014, 09:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
koi nahi jo bosa de!
maa! jab se gayi chhood ke....
aankhein nam kar dene waala sher kaha aap ne Hassan bhai. qaabil e daad sher hai par aap ko daad naheeN dheroN duaein de raha hooN.


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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  (#176)
zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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14th July 2014, 09:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
hamaarii ek koshish

paa-bosii* hai milii jo unse (kissing feet)
bosa-zanii* kuchh ab aur bhii toh ho (kissing)
bosiida-fazaa* kii kya fikar hai (delicate/fragile moment)
ki bosa-e-lab* bhii kabhii toh ho (kissing of lips)


Adil 'Safeer'

-----------------------------

wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!! ye sher hai ke ek kaarnaamaa !!

maiN ne is lafz ka ta'arruf karne waalee post meiN arz kiya tha ki "ab lafz-e-bosa ke bose lete haiN" ..... aap ke is sher ne waisa hi kiya hai ye sher to bose ki encyclopedia jaisa hai

but seriously, amazing word play Aadeil bhai !! aur khayaal bhi khoob !! saath hi aap ka ye bahaut barha contribution hai ki lafz "bosa" se nikle itne saare alfaaz ka ilm karaaya ahl-e-mehil ko karwa diya !!! waaaah !!!

to Aadeil bhai, dher saaree daad aur khoob saara shukriya !!!


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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Praneeta
~"REBELLIOUS IN LOVE"~
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Love 14th July 2014, 09:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
hamaarii ek koshish

paa-bosii* hai milii jo unse (kissing feet)
bosa-zanii* kuchh ab aur bhii toh ho (kissing)
bosiida-fazaa* kii kya fikar hai (delicate/fragile moment)
ki bosa-e-lab* bhii kabhii toh ho (kissing of lips)


Adil 'Safeer'

-----------------------------
chakkara hi gayi thi padh kar these heavy words. but after reading the meanings enjoyed it.
beautiful.....aadeil sahab


_______________________________________________
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Kaash k khamoshi bhi ek zabaaN hoti
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14th July 2014, 09:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
aur ek..
bos-o-kanaar* me.n uljhe yu.n, wo bhii shab-e-firaaq me.n
namii na dekhii aa.nkho.n kii, subah thii unkii taak me.n

*bos-o-kanaar = embrassing/kissing & hugging
Waahh !!! khoob sher farmaaya Aadeil bhai !!!


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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Praneeta
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Love 14th July 2014, 09:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
koi nahi jo bosa de!
maa! jab se gayi chhood ke....
very touching Hassan...can relate to it


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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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14th July 2014, 10:43 PM

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Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
ek taaza sher bas abhi abhi kaha hai, so us par bina ghaur kiye ya bina taraashe, yahaaN par waisa ka waisa pesh raha hooN ... delivered fresh


bosa shabnam ka phool ke rukh par
sub'he dam yaad aa gaya koyee

- zarraa
doston, kyunki ye seekhne ki mehfil hai, aur kyunki yahaan sab apne hi hain, is liye zehmat de raha hoon. oopar waale sher ka ek alternative version kaha hai ......

bose booNdoN ke barg-e-gul par nam
yaad saawan meiN aa gaya koyee


aap ki raay mil jaaye is par, in absolute terms aur pichhle version ke comparison mein, to mujhe kuchh seekhne ko milega. shukriya.


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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Hassan
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14th July 2014, 11:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
Hassanbhai,
bahot khub...
Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
hasssan saahaab... in do missron ne wo kamaal kar ddiyaa ke main bayaan nahi kar saktaa.... kyaaa baat hai bhai...... bahot hi umdaa sher kah diyaa aapne... meri janaib se laakhon daad..
Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
aankhein nam kar dene waala sher kaha aap ne Hassan bhai. qaabil e daad sher hai par aap ko daad naheeN dheroN duaein de raha hooN.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praneeta View Post
very touching Hassan...can relate to it
Aadil Bhai.. Shaad Bhai.. Zarraa saheb aur Parii dear..

yahan main Danny Boss ka Shair arz karna chahooN ga:-


jeene ke liye mujhe ek sapnaa dedo
haqeekat meri jaaN liye jaa rahi hai


DuaooN k saath,,


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")

Last edited by Hassan; 14th July 2014 at 11:07 PM..
   
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zainy
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15th July 2014, 02:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
koi nahi jo bosa de!
maa! jab se gayi chhood ke....
speechless. ..................................




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

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zainy
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15th July 2014, 02:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
aur ek..
bos-o-kanaar* me.n uljhe yu.n, wo bhii shab-e-firaaq me.n
namii na dekhii aa.nkho.n kii, subah thii unkii taak me.n

*bos-o-kanaar = embrassing/kissing & hugging
Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
doston, kyunki ye seekhne ki mehfil hai, aur kyunki yahaan sab apne hi hain, is liye zehmat de raha hoon. oopar waale sher ka ek alternative version kaha hai ......

bose booNdoN ke barg-e-gul par nam
yaad saawan meiN aa gaya koyee


aap ki raay mil jaaye is par, in absolute terms aur pichhle version ke comparison mein, to mujhe kuchh seekhne ko milega. shukriya.


Bohat khoob. .................................
.......




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

Nm
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ufaq
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ufaq is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comufaq is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comufaq is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comufaq is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comufaq is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comufaq is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comufaq is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comufaq is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comufaq is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comufaq is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comufaq is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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15th July 2014, 01:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
doston, kyunki ye seekhne ki mehfil hai, aur kyunki yahaan sab apne hi hain, is liye zehmat de raha hoon. oopar waale sher ka ek alternative version kaha hai ......

bose booNdoN ke barg-e-gul par nam
yaad saawan meiN Aa gayaa koi.


aap ki raay mil jaaye is par, in absolute terms aur pichhle version ke comparison mein, to mujhe kuchh seekhne ko milega. shukriya.

Zarra sahib..aapke dono ashsaar takriiban ek hi mijaaz Ke hai....jaisa ki aapne khud tasliim kiya hai.......shabnam - subah aur boo'nde- saawan Ka munaasibat qaayam karne ki koshish ki hai aapne.........khair ab baari- baari dono ashaar par ghaur karte hai.

1st sher

Aapke pahle SHE'R me aap oola ko do tarah se le sakte hai.....waise main niji taur par doosra misra rakhne ki sifaarish karunga

1) Bose'n shabnam Ke phool Ke rukh par
2) bosa shabnan Ka gul Ke aariz par

Aapke misre me'n aur in do misro me'n kyaa farq hai...mai'n nahi bataaunga,,,thodhi zehani kasrat kariye........aap samajh jaaye'nge....

Ab baat karte hai saani ki

Aapne saani me'n sub'h-e-dam ...likha hai...subh'a aur dam Dono ism ( noun) hai ...jab do ism ko izaafat se joda jaata hai...to iske do usuul hai..
1) dam -e -subah yaani ..in the time of morning
2) ya phir sub'h dam bhi likh sakte hai lekin ab izaafat maqloobi ( disappear) ho jaayegi.....izaafat e maqloobi ki bahut Achchi missal hai ...jahaa'npanaah.......yaani In the panaah of jahaa'n

aap yu'n samajh le ki aap sub'h-e-dam ..na le balqi ....sub'h dam likh le

Aapke SHE'R me'n ye ek aib thaa so zikr kar diya...

2nd sher


Aur ab doosre sher ki baat karte hai....

Oola me > be< ki takaraar baarhaa ho rahii hai jisse tajnis Ka lutf paida ho raha hai..lekin misre Ke aakhir me'n > nam< saraasar bharti lag raha hai...is simt thoda tawajjo De...

Sher aap yu'n kah sakte hai

Bose par Bose gul pe De boo'nde
Yaad saawan me'n aa gayaa koi.

Bose par Bose ...istemaal karna bahut khaas hai kyu'nki saawan me'n jab baarish hoti hai to boo'nde boso'n ki bauchhar lagaa deti hai........

Koi shubah rah gaya ho to bejhijhak took De....

Last edited by ufaq; 15th July 2014 at 01:30 PM..
   
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Hassan
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Thumbs up 15th July 2014, 01:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Nam ankhon par wo tere bose ka lams
Khudaya aaj bhi roney se roktiin hain
Wahhh Naaz... boht khoob... lajawaab...


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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zarraa
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15th July 2014, 03:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ufaq View Post
Zarra sahib..aapke dono ashsaar takriiban ek hi mijaaz Ke hai....jaisa ki aapne khud tasliim kiya hai.......shabnam - subah aur boo'nde- saawan Ka munaasibat qaayam karne ki koshish ki hai aapne.........khair ab baari- baari dono ashaar par ghaur karte hai.

1st sher

Aapke pahle SHE'R me aap oola ko do tarah se le sakte hai.....waise main niji taur par doosra misra rakhne ki sifaarish karunga

1) Bose'n shabnam Ke phool Ke rukh par
2) bosa shabnan Ka gul Ke aariz par

Aapke misre me'n aur in do misro me'n kyaa farq hai...mai'n nahi bataaunga,,,thodhi zehani kasrat kariye........aap samajh jaaye'nge....

Ab baat karte hai saani ki

Aapne saani me'n sub'h-e-dam ...likha hai...subh'a aur dam Dono ism ( noun) hai ...jab do ism ko izaafat se joda jaata hai...to iske do usuul hai..
1) dam -e -subah yaani ..in the time of morning
2) ya phir sub'h dam bhi likh sakte hai lekin ab izaafat maqloobi ( disappear) ho jaayegi.....izaafat e maqloobi ki bahut Achchi missal hai ...jahaa'npanaah.......yaani In the panaah of jahaa'n

aap yu'n samajh le ki aap sub'h-e-dam ..na le balqi ....sub'h dam likh le

Aapke SHE'R me'n ye ek aib thaa so zikr kar diya...

2nd sher


Aur ab doosre sher ki baat karte hai....

Oola me > be< ki takaraar baarhaa ho rahii hai jisse tajnis Ka lutf paida ho raha hai..lekin misre Ke aakhir me'n > nam< saraasar bharti lag raha hai...is simt thoda tawajjo De...

Sher aap yu'n kah sakte hai

Bose par Bose gul pe De boo'nde
Yaad saawan me'n aa gayaa koi.

Bose par Bose ...istemaal karna bahut khaas hai kyu'nki saawan me'n jab baarish hoti hai to boo'nde boso'n ki bauchhar lagaa deti hai........

Koi shubah rah gaya ho to bejhijhak took De....
Ufaq sahab ... bahaut bahaut shukriya janaab tashreef laane ka aur mere sawaal ko waqt dene ka. Aur waah kis khoobsurti se aapne nukton ki wazaahat kari hai. Khoob !! Aap ke khayaalaat aur mashwaron se na sirf seekhne ko hi mila mujhe par saath saath guftagoo ka lutf bhi haasil hua. Ek baar phir se aap ka shukriya.

Aap ki saaree bataein mujhe ekdum sahi lag rahi hain aur kisi baat par koyee shubah naheen. Mujhe sochne ka bahaut saamaan mila hai, jo na sirf is sher ko mukammal karne mein balki aage bhi kaam aayega.

Bas 1-2 choti si baatein clarify karna chaahoonga ...

mera iraada "sub'he dam" mein "subh-e-dam" kehne ka naheen tha jo ki galat hai jaisa ki aap ne bhi farmaaya, balki lafz "subh" ke "h" ko "he" ka accent dene ka tha. maqsad wazan clear karne ka tha, by demarking "sub" as one unit with wazan of 2 and "he" as a separate unit as wazan of 1. "he" ki jagah "ha" ka bhi accent de sakta tha par maine "he" ko use kiya for no particular reason, just liked it more than "ha" I guess par aap ki baat samajh kar mujhe lag raha hai ki "ha" hi use karne chaahiye kyunki "he" se ye lagna natural hai "subh-e-dam" kaha ja raha hai.

ek ye bhi arz karna chaahoonga ki lafz "nam" ko "bose" ki "quality" ko describe karne ke ki koshish mein istemaal kiya tha. mujhe laga ki "nam bose" ki analogy zyada appropriate lag rahegi baarish ke context mein "normal bose" ke muqaable is se boondon ke phool par lams ko bose ka darja dena zyada justified lagega, aur analogy ka lutf paida hoga. magar aap ki is baat se main 100% ittefaaq rakhta hoon ki misre ke aakhir mein aane se "nam" ka lafz zabaradasti daala hua lag raha hai. in current form, na maanee khul raha hai na lutf paida ho raha hai, balki confusion hi create ho raha hai.

waise aap ka "bose par bose" ka khayaal kamaal ka laga. daad aap ko us par !

to ek baat phir aap ka dher saara shukriya Ufaq sahab ! thanks for all the help !

Duaon ke saath
Zarraa


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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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15th July 2014, 03:45 PM

doston ... lafz "bosa" par guftagoo aaj raat midnight tak chalegi, kal se naya lafz.


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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15th July 2014, 09:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Shukriya Zarraji, ek chotisi koshish thi is mehfil ka hissa banne keliye, bahot khushi hui apko ye koshish pasand ayi

Aapne bahot hi behtareen thread banai hai iske liye dheron daad, hum jaise seekhne walon ko jinhe urdu ki zada samajh nahin bahot maddat milegi ek bar phirse shukriya itni achchi koshish keliye.
bahaut bahaut shukriya N@zneen ji is activity ki koshish ko appreciate karne ka .... well, the pleasure is all mine


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zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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15th July 2014, 10:48 PM

lafz "bosa" par members ke kahe huwe apne qalaam .....


bosa shabnam ka phool ke rukh par
sub'he dam yaad aa gaya koyee
-zarraa

HaseeN hai yeh manzar haseeN hai nazaara
Ufaq per zameeN aasmaaN ka yeH bosa
-zainy

tere fusoon-e-bosa ki kya tareef karun 'ananthpak'
ke ek bosa ne umr bhar ka itminaan de diya
-praneeta

muntazir hun iltija par meri kab tu dil-o-jaan se razi hogi
k tera ik bosa hi iss aashiq par zara-nawazi hogi
-ananthpak

Lagta garma garm hi acchha
Ab ho bosa ya ho samosa
-zidd

SaikhDo laana.te hai bose par
Apni to kat gayi samose par
-zidd

Ho gaye hum ek pal me khaak-bos
Aakpi nazroN ne kya bosa diya [ ! or ? ]
-zidd

Ik khwaab ka tawaaf tha darparda kwaab ke
Kya le liya tha bosa hi but ke naqaab ka ?
-zidd

bivi ki ye zidd thii ke milegaa tabhii BOSAA,
baahar ka khilaao mujhe DOSA ya SAMOSAA
-shaad

Bose Ke waqt dono ki palke'n jhuki rahii,
Tark-e-hayaa huyi to thii lekin hayaa Ke saath
-ufaq

baarish meiN n baahar ke hai khaane ka bharosa
phir dosa samosa naheeN chooran ka hi bosa
-zarraa

Nam ankhon par wo tere bose ka lams
Khudaya aaj bhi roney se roktiin hain
-n@zneen

is tarah yaad teri dil meiN hai mere pinhaaN
narm aariz pe jo bose ka ho halka sa nishaaN
-zarraa

koi nahi jo bosa de!
maa! jab se gayi chhood ke
-hassan

paa-bosii hai milii jo unse
bosa-zanii kuchh ab aur bhii toh ho
bosiida-fazaa kii kya fikar hai
ki bosa-e-lab bhii kabhii toh ho
-aadeil

bos-o-kanaar me.n uljhe yu.n, wo bhii shab-e-firaaq me.n
namii na dekhii aa.nkho.n kii, subah thii unkii taak me.n
-aadeil


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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Naya lafz
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zarraa
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Naya lafz - 16th July 2014, 12:15 AM

dostoN ... is baar ka lafz hai .... KHALWAT .....

"khalwat" means solitude / privacy / the state of being alone .... akele meiN hone ki haalat

lafz "khalwat" meiN "T" ka pronunciation is as in TiTlee (butterfly), Tees (30), raaT (night) ... aap samajh gaye hoNge.

to is baar hum lafz "khalwat" par ghaur kareNge, koyee sher, qit'ta, nazm, rubaayee ya aur kuchh jise shayari kaha ja sake, keh kar. aap "khalwateiN", "khalwatoN" wagairah ka bhi qalaam meiN istemaal kar sakte haiN.

shayari ke saath saath SDC style guftagoo bhi jaaree rakhiyega. maqsad sirf ek doosre se kuchh seekhne ka hoga. members se darkhwaast hai ki is lafz par apne khayaalaat aur ilm bhi baaNtte raheiN aur is ki nuances par roshni daaleiN, jis se hum sab saath saath seekh sakeiN.

"khalwat" ki taqti, mere opinion meiN, hai 22. any other opinion is welcome.

"khalwat"par ghaur karne ka silsila hum chalaaenge agle 4 din tak, yaani 19th July midnight India time ya 6:30 PM GMT.

ab lafz "khalwat" par kuchh ustaad shora ke aashaar ka lutf uthaate haiN ...

mere hone meiN hai kya ruswaayee
ai wo majlis naheeN khalwat hi sahi
-ghalib

agar khalwat meiN tu ne sar uthaaya bhi to kya haasil
bhari mehfil meiN aa kar sar jhuka leti to achchha tha
-majaaz

abhi zinda hooN lekin sochta rehta hooN khalwat meiN
ki ab tak kis tamanna ke sahaare ji liya maiN ne
-saahir

kuchh mohtasiboN ki khalwat meiN kuchh waaiz ke ghar jaatee hai
hum baada-kashoN ke hisse ki ab jaam meiN kam-tar jaatee hai
-faiz

kaheeN khalwateiN dukaaneiN
kaheeN jism beeyopaaree
n kisi sanam ko shikwa
n dukhee koyee pujaaree
-faraaz ki nazm se

khudi ki khalwatoN meiN gum raha maiN
Khuda ke saamne goya n tha maiN
-iqbaal

to chaliye, shuru ho jaate haiN ! is lafz-e-khalwat ki khalwat meiN khalal daalte haiN aur ise le kar aate haiN apne aashaar ki anjuman meiN ...

duaoN ke saath
zarraa


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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Hassan
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16th July 2014, 12:43 AM

khalwat meiN kiye jurm ki saza!
aaj nahi to kal zaroor milay gii..


tanhai mein huay hamaray gunaahoN ki saza is jahan meiN nahi
to us jahaN zaroor mile gii..


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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16th July 2014, 10:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
khalwat meiN kiye jurm ki saza!
aaj nahi to kal zaroor milay gii..


tanhai mein huay hamaray gunaahoN ki saza is jahan meiN nahi
to us jahaN zaroor mile gii..
Hassanji,

achchhi aur sachchii baat kahi hai...

bahot khub...



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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16th July 2014, 10:19 AM

ek koshish......


Khalvat-o-jalvat* kii apnii surate.n -----[privacy/loneliness & company]
gham me.n ek pyaara to duuja shaadii* me.n -----[happiness]



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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Hassan
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16th July 2014, 11:09 AM

Naaz.. this is for you:-

hai yaQeeN k khatam hooN gay ayaam-e-khalwat..
phir hum bhi khoob lootieN gay maza-e-ulfat...




*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")

Last edited by Hassan; 16th July 2014 at 11:16 AM..
   
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Hassan
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Hassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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16th July 2014, 11:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Awesome....and thnx for this beautiful sher
abhi aamad hui jab aap ne koi aur verse post karne ko kaha ..


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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Hassan
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Hassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comHassan is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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Thumbs up 16th July 2014, 11:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
ek koshish......


Khalvat-o-jalvat* kii apnii surate.n -----[privacy/loneliness & company]
gham me.n ek pyaara to duuja shaadii* me.n -----[happiness]
wahhh...

boht khoob Aadil saheb..


*hSn* : parStaar

tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di!
kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN...
("Asad")
   
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16th July 2014, 12:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N@zneen View Post
Bahot khoob doston hosake to aur ek sher post karna
lijiye, aur ek

ek adnaa si koshish..


Khalvat-nashii.n* hoo.n haath me.n khaalii hai baadiyaa*
hai intezaar ki aake pilaaye labo.n se wo

khalvat-nashii.n = sitting in isolation/seclusion ; baadiyaa = goblet



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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Last edited by aadeil; 16th July 2014 at 12:47 PM..
   
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16th July 2014, 12:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
Naaz.. this is for you:-

hai yaQeeN k khatam hooN gay ayaam-e-khalwat..
phir hum bhi khoob lootieN gay maza-e-ulfat...


nice one, Hassanji .. change of mood achchha laga



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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16th July 2014, 05:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan View Post
khalwat meiN kiye jurm ki saza!
aaj nahi to kal zaroor milay gii..


tanhai mein huay hamaray gunaahoN ki saza is jahan meiN nahi
to us jahaN zaroor mile gii..
Gehri sachchi sahi aur saaf baat !! Bahaut bahaut khoob Hassan sahab !!


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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16th July 2014, 05:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
ek koshish......


Khalvat-o-jalvat* kii apnii surate.n -----[privacy/loneliness & company]
gham me.n ek pyaara to duuja shaadii* me.n -----[happiness]
Waah !! Ek buniyaadi haqeeqat ko kis saafgoyee se bayaan kiya hai .. Waah !! Aur "khalwat-o-jalwat" ke jumle ka bhi kya khoob istemaal kiya ... Waah !! Bahaut si daad Aadeil bhai !!!


maiN rehnuma ke kahe raastoN se door raha
mera maqaam sada manziloN se door raha
   
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