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Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai
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sukanya
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Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai - 18th June 2006, 02:12 PM
Haal uska haal mere se milne laga hai

Haal uska haal mere se milne laga hai
Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai

Ek darakht Juda jahan se lagne laga hai
Tanha muqaddar hum par hasne laga hai

Paton ka Shaakh se sath chuutne laga hai
Hath mera tere hathon se chuutne laga hai

Har shaks shehar mein badalne laga hai
Daur Kaisa Shehar Jismein badalne laga hai

Muddatein hui intezar unka thamne laga hai
Ankhon mein Aansuon ka daur jamne laga hai

Jaane kiska intezaar tha yaad nahin Sukanya
Dhundli si Yadon ka Tuufan thamne laga hai
Last edited by sukanya; 18th June 2006 at 02:22 PM..
   
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Pulkit_gupta
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18th June 2006, 06:30 PM
Muddatein hui intezar unka thamne laga hai
Ankhon mein Aansuon ka daur jamne laga hai

Jaane kiska intezaar tha yaad nahin Sukanya
Dhundli si Yadon ka Tuufan thamne laga hai

bahut hi khoobsurat aashaar...

Didi,

Bahut accha likha hai aapne.. loved reading it... aise hi likhti rahiye... apna khayal bhi rakhiye...

Kab sochaa thha milegaa humsafar "Shweta" jaisaa
Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai
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Vipinbox
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18th June 2006, 07:04 PM
Sukanya ji, namaskaar
Bahaut hee asardaar shabdon se lipti hui hain aapki lines. Parhkar accha anubhav raha. isi tarah likhtey rahiyega aur humey aapko parhney ka awsar bhi detey rahiyega.
Aapka dhanyavaad

v i p i n

विपिन
   
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Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai
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Rohin
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Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai - 18th June 2006, 09:42 PM
Wah Wah... bahut khoob....

Sukanya di,

bahut khoob likha hai aapne...

Apna khayal rakhiyega
Rohin

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Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai
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pallavi_here
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Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai - 19th June 2006, 11:31 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by sukanya
Haal uska haal mere se milne laga hai

Haal uska haal mere se milne laga hai
Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai

Ek darakht Juda jahan se lagne laga hai
Tanha muqaddar hum par hasne laga hai

Paton ka Shaakh se sath chuutne laga hai
Hath mera tere hathon se chuutne laga hai

Har shaks shehar mein badalne laga hai
Daur Kaisa Shehar Jismein badalne laga hai

Muddatein hui intezar unka thamne laga hai
Ankhon mein Aansuon ka daur jamne laga hai

Jaane kiska intezaar tha yaad nahin Sukanya
Dhundli si Yadon ka Tuufan thamne laga hai

Ohhh diii bahut pyaara likha hai aapne... aur aakhiri aashaar to behad khoobsoorat
yu hi likhte rahiye aur apna khayaal rakhiye

Pallavi...

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Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai
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sakhi1909
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Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai - 20th June 2006, 06:09 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by sukanya
Haal uska haal mere se milne laga hai

Haal uska haal mere se milne laga hai
Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai

Ek darakht Juda jahan se lagne laga hai
Tanha muqaddar hum par hasne laga hai

Paton ka Shaakh se sath chuutne laga hai
Hath mera tere hathon se chuutne laga hai

Har shaks shehar mein badalne laga hai
Daur Kaisa Shehar Jismein badalne laga hai

Muddatein hui intezar unka thamne laga hai
Ankhon mein Aansuon ka daur jamne laga hai

Jaane kiska intezaar tha yaad nahin Sukanya
Dhundli si Yadon ka Tuufan thamne laga hai
didi kya baat hai
bahut khub jajbaatoib ko juba di hai

dil ko choo gai gazal apki.
with love sakhi

कुछ ऐसे पल जिनको संजोना है ,
शब्दों में पिरोना है , जिससे वो हमारी यादों में महकते रहे
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red_ruchika
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21st June 2006, 12:00 PM
waah sukanaya ji,,,bohat khoob

Ek darakht Juda jahan se lagne laga hai
Tanha muqaddar hum par hasne laga hai

yeh hame bahot pasand aaya...

"sanam" chahe zindagi se bas itna
aik mutthi main kaid kar loon,
yeh aasman hai jitna!"
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Bohat khoob
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Mayank
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Bohat khoob - 21st June 2006, 01:42 PM
Quote:
Haal uska haal mere se milne laga hai
Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai
Bohat khoobsuurat matla.. dil fareyb khayaal aur andaaz e bayaan la-jawaab..

Quote:
Ek darakht Juda jahan se lagne laga hai
Tanha muqaddar hum par hasne laga hai
ye she^r bhi achchha laga.... kaabil e daad...

Quote:
Muddatein hui intezar unka thamne laga hai
Ankhon mein Aansuon ka daur jamne laga hai

haaye! kya baat kahii hai... intezaar jab hadd se zeyaadah baRhne lagta hai to yehi hota hai.. aur aap ne iss khayaal ko achchhe dhang se lafzoN meN piroyaa hai...

Quote:
Jaane kiska intezaar tha yaad nahin Sukanya
Dhundli si Yadon ka Tuufan thamne laga hai .
YaadeN, Kabhiii dil ko sukuun deti hai to kabhii besukuun kar deti hai.. Yuun to aap ki har har kalaam achchhi hoti hai par yeh kalaam mujeh zeyaadah pasand aaya...

Sukanye jee:

Kaisi haiN aap? ummeed aur duaa hai kee sab khariyat hee hogaa.. Aaj ka_ii dino ke baad aap ke is khuubsoorat kalaam ko paRhna naseeb hu`aa.. iss baar to aap ne bohat behtar likha hai.. Daad ke saath mubaarakbaad qubool keejiye...

- Mayank
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sukanya
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22nd June 2006, 07:35 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Pulkit_gupta
Muddatein hui intezar unka thamne laga hai
Ankhon mein Aansuon ka daur jamne laga hai

Jaane kiska intezaar tha yaad nahin Sukanya
Dhundli si Yadon ka Tuufan thamne laga hai

bahut hi khoobsurat aashaar...

Didi,

Bahut accha likha hai aapne.. loved reading it... aise hi likhti rahiye... apna khayal bhi rakhiye...
Hello Pulkit

Tumhey Apni di ki yeh rachna bhi pasand aayi ...Thanks my sweet brother.....Shayad mere sweet brother ki encoragement hi hay jo mughey aagey acha likhne ki prerna detey hay.....Thanks for reading and liking....

Take care
Keep Smiling
Di
   
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sukanya
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22nd June 2006, 07:40 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Vipinbox
Sukanya ji, namaskaar
Bahaut hee asardaar shabdon se lipti hui hain aapki lines. Parhkar accha anubhav raha. isi tarah likhtey rahiyega aur humey aapko parhney ka awsar bhi detey rahiyega.
Aapka dhanyavaad

v i p i n
Namaskar Vipin Ji

Aapne hamari rachna ko parhne ke liye waqt nikala bahut kushi hui .....asardar shabd hain ki nahin pata nahin bas kuch mann mein aaya to likh diya......koshish karungi aagey bhi kuch acha likhne ki...Aap bhi hamey apni rachnaein parhne ka awsar dete rahiyega.....ur poetry is inspiration for many people to write for a good cause..

Aapka bhi dhanyavaad
   
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Re: Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai
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sukanya
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Re: Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai - 22nd June 2006, 07:41 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Rohin
Wah Wah... bahut khoob....

Sukanya di,

bahut khoob likha hai aapne...

Apna khayal rakhiyega
Rohin
Hello Rohin

My sweet brother tumharey kuch shabd hi bahut kuch keh jatey hain....ur one reply brings a sweet smile ...Thanks for reading and appreciating..

God bless you
Di
   
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Re: Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai
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sukanya
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Re: Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai - 22nd June 2006, 07:44 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by pallavi_here
Ohhh diii bahut pyaara likha hai aapne... aur aakhiri aashaar to behad khoobsoorat
yu hi likhte rahiye aur apna khayaal rakhiye
Hello Pallavi

Tumhey achi lagi meri rachna...Thanks...Pallavi tumney bhi bahut khoobsurat likha hay...I will reply on that too...I remember tumney bhi usey din apni rachna post ki thi jis din maine...bas waqt ki thodi masrufiyat rahi aur tumhey reply nahin kar payi....Aati raha karo acha lagta hay jab tum aati ho...

Apna khyal rakhna
Dii
   
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Re: Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai
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sukanya
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Re: Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai - 22nd June 2006, 07:47 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by sakhi1909
didi kya baat hai
bahut khub jajbaatoib ko juba di hai

dil ko choo gai gazal apki.
with love sakhi
Hello My sweet doll

It has been a long time since seen u on the site.......U liked my poetry ....It's one of sweetest compliment for ur di....Tumhare Dil ko chuu gayi meri ghazal...chalo mera likhna bekar nahin gaya Thanks...Tumhari rachnao ka bhi inteezar rehta hay

Apna khyal rakhna
   
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sukanya
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22nd June 2006, 07:50 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by red_ruchika
waah sukanaya ji,,,bohat khoob

Ek darakht Juda jahan se lagne laga hai
Tanha muqaddar hum par hasne laga hai

yeh hame bahot pasand aaya...
Hello Ruchika

For the first time seen u on my post....first of all I should welcome you....Tumhey yeh akshar pasand aaye jankar bahut kushi hui... u even write good keep up the good work..

Take care
   
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Re: Bohat khoob
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sukanya
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Re: Bohat khoob - 22nd June 2006, 07:57 PM
Namaskar Mayank ji

Hum achey hain.....aapko hamara qalam khoobsurat laga sunkar kushi hui....u liked almost all the sher...Thanks....iss baar behtar likha hay ....I tried to write something using rules of Ghazal did'nt know ki acha likha jayega....it's bit hard to write when u have to follow rules...sometimes poetry flows and rules constraint the words written...but still I tried to write using the rules..Aap jaise poets se bahut kuch seekhney ko milta hay....u too keep writing ......Aapki daad ka bahut bahut shukriya....

Apna khyal rakhiyega
   
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Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai
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Parul
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Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai - 12th July 2006, 12:44 AM

Ek darakht Juda jahan se lagne laga hai
Tanha muqaddar hum par hasne laga hai

Har shaks shehar mein badalne laga hai
Daur Kaisa Shehar Jismein badalne laga hai

Jaane kiska intezaar tha yaad nahin Sukanya
Dhundli si Yadon ka Tuufan thamne laga hai

Very nice sukanya dd.

do keep writting like this and take care of yourself.
   
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Re: Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai
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sukanya
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Re: Re: Woh ek panna hathon se fisalne laga hai - 12th July 2006, 09:27 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Parul

Ek darakht Juda jahan se lagne laga hai
Tanha muqaddar hum par hasne laga hai

Har shaks shehar mein badalne laga hai
Daur Kaisa Shehar Jismein badalne laga hai

Jaane kiska intezaar tha yaad nahin Sukanya
Dhundli si Yadon ka Tuufan thamne laga hai

Very nice sukanya dd.

do keep writting like this and take care of yourself.
Dear Parul

Bahut acha laga tumhara reply dekh......Parul tumhare avtaar ke yeh flowers bahut khoobsurat hay....ek kushi ki chamak aa jati hay aankhon mein jab bhi inn pyare phuulon ko dekhtey huun....aur ek smile aa jati hay jab tumhara reply apni post par dekhti huun .....Agar tum yuun hi sath do to tumhari di yuun hi likhti rahegi......

Take Care
Keep Smiling
   
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