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Dard chupaya na gaya....
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chanderp
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Post Dard chupaya na gaya.... - 4th November 2011, 06:45 PM
Aagosh me aake tere dard chupaya na gaya,
Duniya ki baato se dil ko behlaya na gaya.

Kuch to humne bhi socha ghadi bhar ko,
fir muda aur laut ke wapis aaya na gaya.

Sapne toote jo aankho me tab bhi,
soorat ko unki paani me bahaya na gaya.

Dard ki inteha jo dekhni chahi apni,
zindagi ko bhi saamne mere laaya na gaya.

Meri aarzoo-e-ishq ko wafa ka sila deke,
mehfil me unse bhi muskuraya na gaya.

Shisha-e-dil ko tod ke hamara unse bhi,
mehal apne sapno ka banaya na gaya.

Zid uski mera wazood hi mita dene ki,
aur aarzoo meri sirf usko paa lene ki.
   
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janumanu
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5th November 2011, 12:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by chanderp View Post
Aagosh me aake tere dard chupaya na gaya,
Duniya ki baato se dil ko behlaya na gaya.

Kuch to humne bhi socha ghadi bhar ko,
fir muda aur laut ke wapis aaya na gaya.

Sapne toote jo aankho me tab bhi,
soorat ko unki paani me bahaya na gaya.

Dard ki inteha jo dekhni chahi apni,
zindagi ko bhi saamne mere laaya na gaya.

Meri aarzoo-e-ishq ko wafa ka sila deke,
mehfil me unse bhi muskuraya na gaya.

Shisha-e-dil ko tod ke hamara unse bhi,
mehal apne sapno ka banaya na gaya.
bahut acha likhaa hai aapne..... achy khyaal hai.... thoda sa aur seriously len.. aap aur acha likh sakte hai

aate rahe share karte raheN
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chanderp
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6th November 2011, 09:52 PM
ji hosla-afjai ke liye aapka bahut bahut shukriya.

such to ye hai ki abhi to me sikh raha hu ki apne ehsaaso ko lafzo ke aks me kaise dhaala jaaye, lekin agar isi tarah se hosla badhta gaya to yakinan accha likh paunga ek din.

ek baar fir se bahut bahut shukriya. khyal rakhiyega apna

Zid uski mera wazood hi mita dene ki,
aur aarzoo meri sirf usko paa lene ki.
   
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*AnAmikA*
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7th November 2011, 03:28 PM
behad achcha likha hai aapne chanderp ji....

Kuch to humne bhi socha ghadi bhar ko,
fir muda aur laut ke wapis aaya na gaya.

Sapne toote jo aankho me tab bhi,
soorat ko unki paani me bahaya na gaya.

ye kuch khas rahe
   
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kabhi kabhi
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7th November 2011, 06:21 PM
wahh bhot khoob likha hai

kuch khaas dard hai zaroor alfaaz mein... hume bhot pasand aaya!!!
aise hi likhte rahiye
   
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Krishnasharma
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7th November 2011, 08:04 PM
bahut hi unda khayaal hai aapke .padke acha laga.
   
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zarraa
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7th November 2011, 10:19 PM
Khoobsurat khayal hain chander ji. Dard aur khalish ka ehsaas bahaut acchhaa capture kiya ashaar mein.



QUOTE=chanderp;432606]
Aagosh me aake tere dard chupaya na gaya,
Duniya ki baato se dil ko behlaya na gaya.

Kuch to humne bhi socha ghadi bhar ko,
fir muda aur laut ke wapis aaya na gaya.

Sapne toote jo aankho me tab bhi,
soorat ko unki paani me bahaya na gaya.

Dard ki inteha jo dekhni chahi apni,
zindagi ko bhi saamne mere laaya na gaya.

Meri aarzoo-e-ishq ko wafa ka sila deke,
mehfil me unse bhi muskuraya na gaya.

Shisha-e-dil ko tod ke hamara unse bhi,
mehal apne sapno ka banaya na gaya.
[/QUOTE]
   
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chanderp
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8th November 2011, 03:00 PM
hosla afjai ka bahut bahut shukriya Anamika Ji
me ummeed karta hu ki aage bhi kuch aur behtar karne likh paunga.
dhanyawad, khayal rakhiyega


Quote:
Originally Posted by *AnAmikA* View Post
behad achcha likha hai aapne chanderp ji....

Kuch to humne bhi socha ghadi bhar ko,
fir muda aur laut ke wapis aaya na gaya.

Sapne toote jo aankho me tab bhi,
soorat ko unki paani me bahaya na gaya.

ye kuch khas rahe

Zid uski mera wazood hi mita dene ki,
aur aarzoo meri sirf usko paa lene ki.
   
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chanderp
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8th November 2011, 03:02 PM
shukriya hai aapko Kabhi Kabhi Ji (maaf kijiye aapka naam nahi pata to isi ko istemaal karna pada)
aur jaha tak me sochta hu to zindagi to dard ka doosra naam hai to alfaaz me bhi kuch dard chalak jaata hai Kabhi Kabhi

apna khayal rahiyega


Quote:
Originally Posted by kabhi kabhi View Post
wahh bhot khoob likha hai

kuch khaas dard hai zaroor alfaaz mein... hume bhot pasand aaya!!!
aise hi likhte rahiye

Zid uski mera wazood hi mita dene ki,
aur aarzoo meri sirf usko paa lene ki.
   
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chanderp
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8th November 2011, 03:04 PM
dhanyawad aapka aur accha laga ki aapko khyaal pasand aaye hai. ummed karta hu aage bhi isi tarah se likhta rahunga taaki subko pasand aaye.

khayal rakhiyega apna


Quote:
Originally Posted by Krishnasharma View Post
bahut hi unda khayaal hai aapke .padke acha laga.

Zid uski mera wazood hi mita dene ki,
aur aarzoo meri sirf usko paa lene ki.
   
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chanderp
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8th November 2011, 03:08 PM
Bahut bahut shukriya Zarraa Ji,

ye to mera saubhaygaya hai ki aapko ehsaas pasand aaye hai, aur rahi baat dard aur khalish ki to bus yahi ek jariya hai apne vichaaro ko vyakt karne ka.

ummeed karta hu ki aage aur accha karu.

khyal rakhiyega apna

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
Khoobsurat khayal hain chander ji. Dard aur khalish ka ehsaas bahaut acchhaa capture kiya ashaar mein.



QUOTE=chanderp;432606]
Aagosh me aake tere dard chupaya na gaya,
Duniya ki baato se dil ko behlaya na gaya.

Kuch to humne bhi socha ghadi bhar ko,
fir muda aur laut ke wapis aaya na gaya.

Sapne toote jo aankho me tab bhi,
soorat ko unki paani me bahaya na gaya.

Dard ki inteha jo dekhni chahi apni,
zindagi ko bhi saamne mere laaya na gaya.

Meri aarzoo-e-ishq ko wafa ka sila deke,
mehfil me unse bhi muskuraya na gaya.

Shisha-e-dil ko tod ke hamara unse bhi,
mehal apne sapno ka banaya na gaya.
[/QUOTE]

Zid uski mera wazood hi mita dene ki,
aur aarzoo meri sirf usko paa lene ki.
   
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