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one liners
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one liners - 23rd May 2006, 12:37 PM

> When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
> Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
> Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
> I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
> Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
> I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served.
> The road to success is always under construction.
> I say no to drugs -- they just don't listen!
> Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
> Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.
> When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
> Born free; Taxed to death.
> Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don't have film.
> Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
> Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up to.
> I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork
> A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and
>the blinking red light.
> The hardest part of skating is the ice
> The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; the guy who invented
>the other three, he was
>the genius.
> The trouble with being punctual is that there's no one there to
>appreciate it.
> If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?
> Beat the 5 O'clock rush: leave work at noon!
> It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
> I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
> Hot glass looks same as cold glass. (Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers)
> The cigarette does the smoking - you are just the sucker.
> Someday is not a day of the week.

enjoy life as if there is no tomorrow

u can ring me at: 9820182011
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