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Jaane kab Qudaa mujh pe |
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(#1)
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An Incomplite Dream
  
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Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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Jaane kab Qudaa mujh pe -
25th November 2009, 03:25 PM
Ahel E Bazm ko mera Salam,
KayiN dino se ek adhuri tehreer likhe huye chori thi aaj use kuch mod diyaa, woh aapki nazar pesh ker raha hun..........................  Dard e dil ki sachi yeh dastaa hai,Kahin tanhayi to kahin karwaa hai, mila sanam to raqeeb bhi mila, Kahin gulshan to kahin chayi khizaa hai, Wohi hua jo taqdeer ka likha hai, Wohi hua jo manzoor e Qudaa hai, Shikayat bhi karta dil to kiski karta, Woh raqeeb bhi to Qudaa ka banda hai........................  Jaane kab Qudaa mujh pe mehrbaan hua tha Shayad jab main Bismil ban Qurbaan hua tha Dekha tha pyaar se usne kisi roz youN mujhko Yeh bhi ek uska mujh pe kyaa ahsaan hua tha Meri anaa ne hi mujhko kahiN kaa na rakhaa Pherli Nazar usne jo mera qadardaan hua tha Shikast E mohobbat jo pahele bhi mil chuki thi Waqt ne phir wohi dohraya jo anjaam hua tha Kya shikayat main karta Qudaa se raqeeb kii Banda wohi kiya jo Qudaa ka farmaan hua tha Mere AshkoN mein baha tha lahoo jigar aisaa Samandar hi nahi us shaam lal asmaan hua tha Urooj se pahele hi gurub hua aftaab E Kwahish Mili maut tabhi jab jine ka koi armaan hua tha 
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(#2)
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Registered User
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Posts: 2,022
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 47
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25th November 2009, 03:43 PM
Quote:
ye ghazal super duper hit hai........ apki ab tak ki sabse acchi peshkash mai samajtha hu isse...... Kya shikayat main karta Qudaa se raqeeb kii Banda wohi kiya jo Qudaa ka farmaan hua tha bahut badi philosphy hai is sher me............. what chutspah......... ye ghazal sunane ke liye teh e dil se shukriya....... regards reps ++++ |
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(#3)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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25th November 2009, 04:38 PM
Quote:
Mohtaram aap humesha se hi meri hounsla afzai karte aaye hai aur mujhe sahin likhane ke liye batate aaye hai, mujhe behad khushi hui ke aapko meri yeh kalam pasand aayi....... Aapko yeh gazal itni pasand aayi mere liye khushi ka thikana nahi.... Aapka saath bana raha to aur bhi achchi achchi koshish karte rahenge... Hounsla afzai aur rep's ka shukriyaa....... Aage bhi apna saath banaye rakhiye... DuaoN ke saath Ijazat... Khush rhaiye.. Khuda Hafez...
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(#4)
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Shayri.com Moderator
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Posts: 10,551
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: INDIA
Rep Power: 59
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25th November 2009, 05:01 PM
Sameer jee:
namaste! bazm meiN aapki taazaah Ghazal deKhi.. kyaa baat haii! aik umdaah koShiSh ! har Sher bahot hi Khoob raheN.. yeh Sher kuch apnaa saa lagaa! Quote:
yuuNhi liKhate rahiYe! daad hi daad! KhuSh raheN... apnaa Khayaal raKheN duaaoN ke saath ijaazat aapka ~ Dhaval |
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(#5)
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Aapki dost
Offline
Posts: 7,325
Join Date: Feb 2008
Rep Power: 57
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25th November 2009, 05:38 PM
bohat khoob sameer saheb.....ek bohat hi khoobsurat ghazal per dil se daad qubool kijiye.....saare ashaar umdah haiN....
yuhi likhtey rahiye Zainy PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya... Nm |
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(#6)
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Anshumali
Offline
Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
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25th November 2009, 05:54 PM
Quote:
Sameer Ji....Aadaab ! is baar toh aapne kamaal kar diya likhne mai....sabhi ashaar ek se bad kar ek hai....har sher rooh se nikla hua lagta hai....bahut gehraai tak le jaate hai padne wale ko....jaisa zidd ji ne kaha....yeh ab tak ki aapki sabse umdaa peshkash hai....mujhe bhi aisa hi laga thaa padhte waqt....aur main reply dete tak kai baar padh chuka hu...pyaas abhi baaki hai....very nice creation.....likhte rahiye.... Tamaam Ghazal ko....tahe dil se daad...hazir hai.... khush rahiye... apna khayal rakhiyega... duaaon ke saath...  YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
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(#7)
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masttt...
Offline
Posts: 2,151
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Chandigarh
Rep Power: 40
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25th November 2009, 07:50 PM
Quote:
Aapko padhna to hamesha se hi achha lagta hai, iss bar toh aapne kamaal likha hai.... Jitna kaha jaye kam... Har sheyr bahut khayal afreen hai...maza aa gaya padh ke... Aise hi likhte rahiye aur iss mehfil ko roshan karte rahiye...... Duaon ke saath ijaazat... Vikram Uss Rizk Se Tau Maut Bhali Jis Rizk Se Aatee Ho Tere Parwaaz MeiN Kotaahi.... vikramjethi@gmail.com |
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(#8)
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beautiful moment.........
Offline
Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
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25th November 2009, 07:53 PM
wahhhhh.......... wahhhhhhhhh......... wahhhhhhhhhhh......... kya baat hai Sameer..... tum to kamaal karne lage ho....bahut khoob dear....bahut time baad tumhe padha hai ... what a change !!!....yuhi likhte raho....keep up the good work dear....
 "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko’ii hamnaam teraa , ko’ii tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
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(#9)
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Some Mirrors Lie...
Offline
Posts: 3,133
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Shehr-e-husn
Rep Power: 44
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25th November 2009, 09:14 PM
Sameer Bhai,
Waqai khoobsorat ehsaasoon aur jazbaaton ko khoob lafzon mein qaid kiya aap ne,,, Maza aa gaya phar kar,, Likhte rahiye,, Khush rahiye, HSN tumhara shoq dekha to ghazal hum ne nazar kar di! kabhi fursat meiN sun lena, bohat ashaar baqi haiN... ("Asad") |
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(#10)
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Registered User
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Posts: 665
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Waltham, MA
Rep Power: 26
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25th November 2009, 10:09 PM
Bahot achchaa likhaa hai khwahish,
kaafee khoobsoorat hain sab sher. rgds किसी में शाम न मिली तो किसी में सहर नहीं |
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(#11)
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Registered User
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Posts: 474
Join Date: Apr 2009
Rep Power: 25
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26th November 2009, 09:51 AM
Quote:
Nice one Sameer ji................... |
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(#12)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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26th November 2009, 01:41 PM
Quote:
Aapne apni kimti rai wa araa se nawaza bahut khushi hui..... Aage bhi aapni khayloN se ruberu karate rahiye, aur apna saath banaye rakhiye... Khush rhaiye, Bazm mein aate rahiye... Apna khayal rakhiye Khuda Hafez...
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(#13)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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26th November 2009, 03:48 PM
Quote:
Aap humare kalam per aayi aur apni araa se nawaza iske liye tahe dil se shukriyaa... SheroN ki pasandgii aur daad ke liye main behad mamnoon huN........ aage bhi aapka saath bana rahe yehi dua..... Khush rhaiye, Apna khayal rakhiye, Khuda Hafez........
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(#14)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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26th November 2009, 10:07 PM
Quote:
Aapki tarif ne is baar dil ko itna mutmain kiya hai ke mujhe yeh gumaan hone laga hai ke main bahut achcha likhane laga huN...... But yeh meri kalam itni tarif ke kabil nahi.... Aage bhi koshish karta rahunga aur bhi achchi shayari aapko sunauN ... aur isi tarha aap logoN ka dil jit pauN...... Tarif kr liye tahe dil se shukra guzar huN...... Aage bhi apna saath banaye rakhiey.... Khush rahiye.. Khuda Hafez....
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(#15)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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27th November 2009, 05:21 PM
Quote:
Vikram Jee aadaab........... Yeh to aapki zarra nawaz hia sahab ke aapko hume padhna achcha lagata hai, Aapki tarif aur hounsla afzai ne humare husle mein yakinan iszafa kiya hai....... Aage bhi apna saath banaye rakhiye, Khush rahiye Khuda Hafez...
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(#16)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 1,089
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toronto,Canada
Rep Power: 31
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27th November 2009, 10:04 PM
Aadaab Sameer ji....
Aaj kaafi waqt baad aapki ghazal nazar aayii ... aur mah sah allah aap likhtey to hamesha aacha hai per yeh ghazal dil ke kareeb rahii ...aapki ghazal behaad pasand aayii ... har sher aacha hain yu hi likhtey rahye ..aur mehfil saajatey rahye ... Take care mandeep ~ Mandeep Kaur ~ |
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(#17)
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'Bismil'
Offline
Posts: 773
Join Date: Mar 2006
Rep Power: 38
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28th November 2009, 12:33 PM
Quote:
tried adding reps but need to spread dem.. Pradhyuman gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#18)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 155
Join Date: Nov 2009
Rep Power: 16
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28th November 2009, 01:06 PM
Quote:
Bahut khub khwaish G ............... is ghazal ke liye bahut bahut shukriya..................... yahi chahungi ki aage bhi aap aisi ghazale pesh karte rahenge........... (๏̯͡๏) (๏̯͡๏) Hasratein dilo ki chupaye nahi chupti hai, dard juba par bankar bayan sab karti hai..... ***************************** Dard ki mehfil me ek sher hum bhi aarz kiya karte hai.. Na kisi se marham Na duaon ki Ummed kiya karte hai.. kayi chehre lekar log yaha jiya karte hai....... hum in aasunao ko ek chehre ke liye peeya karte hai.... |
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(#19)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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28th November 2009, 06:48 PM
Quote:
Aray dear aap log hi sikha sikha ker yahan tak paunchaye hai ke aab kuch confidence se likha raha hun aur aap log pasand ker rahe hai............ ..But dear tumne Bahut jyada tarif kar di  aage ke liye bhi kuch chor dena tha...Yaa koshish jari hai aage bhi apna saath banaye rakhiye,......... Khush rahiye, Apna khayal rakhiye Khuda Hafez..........
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(#20)
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Registered User
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Posts: 2,855
Join Date: Sep 2007
Rep Power: 33
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29th November 2009, 01:40 PM
Aadaab o tasleemaat sameer saHb !
ma'zrat khuwaah hoN keh dair se Haazri day paaya ... sab se pehle to aik koshish per meri jaanib se daad qabool fermaaieN ... dosra yeh keh moHteram lafz "Quda" app ghalat iste'maal ker rahe haiN lafz hai "Khuda" bar haa maiN ne koshish ki keh app ko tok sakoN mager mauQa ki munasbat na hone per qaasir raha. aaj acha mauQa milaa to keh diyaa . chalte haiN app ki ghazal ki jaanib Quote:
hoke bismil maiN jab qurbaan huwa tha Quote:
kisi roz usne app ko piyaar se youN dekha ... kaise dekhaa ??? iska zikr kerna zaroori tha Quote:
Quote:
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bande ne wohi kiya jo khuda ka farmaan huwa tha Quote:
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aHsaas beHad acha laga .. yahaN app ki dawat per aaya hoN mager mera matlab na appko aur na kisi aur ko thes pahunchaana hai bus apni meHdood sooch ke mutabiq kuch baatieN app ke saamne a'rZ ki haiN ager koi bhi baat achi na lagi ho to ma'zrat chahta hoN |
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(#21)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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1st December 2009, 02:35 PM
Quote:
Tarif aur hounsla ka behad mamnoon huN, aage bhi apna saath banaye rakhiye, Khush rhaiye, Apna khayal rakhiye, Khuda Hafez,
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(#22)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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2nd December 2009, 01:18 PM
Quote:
Thanks for ariciation, Keep in touch, Take care, Khuda Hafez..........
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(#23)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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3rd December 2009, 03:20 PM
Quote:
Aage bhi ana saath banaye rakhiye, Khush rhaiye Khuda Hafez..
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(#24)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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4th December 2009, 03:37 PM
Quote:
Shukriyaa tarif wa hounsla afzai ka......... Aap mehfil mein aayi yehi bahut hai ...... Aage bhi aapni rai se nawazte rahiyega........ Apna saath banaye rakhiye, Khush rhaiye, Khuda Hafez......
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(#25)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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6th December 2009, 03:18 PM
Quote:
Is Gazal ki shuruwat jab ki thi to aapko matala bhi bataya tha aur aapne apni pasand bhi batayi thi, aab dekhiye naa kitne mahine huye aur yeh gazal kab puri kar paya...... Aapne jo pasndidgi aur hunsla afzai ki hai main uska mamnoon huN....... Aage bhi apna saath banaye rakhiye......... Khush rahiye....... Khuda Hafez........
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(#26)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 665
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Waltham, MA
Rep Power: 26
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9th December 2009, 02:37 AM
Quote:
Kaam men thodaa busy thaa. college ka semester bhi khatm ho rahaa tha so kaafee assignments submit karne the. fir thodee chuttiyaan thee idhar. regards किसी में शाम न मिली तो किसी में सहर नहीं |
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(#27)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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10th December 2009, 04:13 PM
Quote:
Khush raho, May God Bless you.......
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(#28)
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~$uper M0der@tor~
Offline
Posts: 8,417
Join Date: Feb 2006
Rep Power: 61
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10th December 2009, 06:02 PM
Kya shikayat main karta Qudaa se raqeeb kii
Banda wohi kiya jo Qudaa ka farmaan hua tha great one.. keep writing. shaad.. |
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(#29)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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11th December 2009, 09:17 PM
Aadaab o tasleemaat sameer saHb !
Aadaab Mujeeb Sahab........ ma'zrat khuwaah hoN keh dair se Haazri day paaya ... sab se pehle to aik koshish per meri jaanib se daad qabool fermaaieN ... Aap aisa keh ker mujhe sharminda kar rahe hai, Mujhe khushi huyi apki hazri per meri yeh koshish aapki rai ke kabil to rahi........ dosra yeh keh moHteram lafz "Quda" app ghalat iste'maal ker rahe haiN lafz hai "Khuda" bar haa maiN ne koshish ki keh app ko tok sakoN mager mauQa ki munasbat na hone per qaasir raha. aaj acha mauQa milaa to keh diyaa . Je main kuch counfuse the, barhaa aapne bata diyaa main conform ho gaya shukriyaa... chalte haiN app ki ghazal ki jaanib Jee Zarur....... Quote: Jaane kab Khudaa mujh pe mehrbaan hua tha Shayad jab main Bismil ban Qurbaan hua tha mere khayal se bismil huwa jaata hai bana nahieN jaata . achi koshish hai . hoke bismil maiN jab qurbaan huwa tha Jee mujhe itna Ilm nahi tha, ke Bismil bante hia yaa hote hai...... Shukriyaa..... Quote: Dekha tha pyaar se usne kisi roz youN mujhko Yeh bhi ek uska mujh pe kyaa ahsaan hua tha pehle misra' maiN kuch batane lage they mager woh baat adhoori choR dii appne , kisi roz usne app ko piyaar se youN dekha ... kaise dekhaa ??? iska zikr kerna zaroori tha Jee main samjh gaya, maine yahan youN use nahi karna chaiye, tha.... Quote: Meri anaa ne hi mujhko kahiN kaa na rakhaa Pherli Nazar usne jo mera qadardaan hua tha Sooch achi hai per wizaHat kamzoor hai daad kabool fermaaieN Jee shukriyaa......... Quote: Shikast E mohobbat jo pahele bhi mil chuki thi Waqt ne phir wohi dohraya jo anjaam hua tha yahaN qaafia'a Ghalt hai moHteram ghaur fermaaieN , Jee main aapne qoute karne ke baad hi dekha, darasal baat yeh hai ke maine same gazal is qafiye per bhi utarne ki koshish ki, aur yeh galati se main apni kachchi likhi gazal ko hi copy pest ker diyaa yahan..... yahan ka mera sher yeh tha........ Aata hai kyuN pesh mujhse ajnabee ki tarha Kya kahiN main kabhi tumse anjaan hua tha Quote: Kya shikayat main karta Khudaa se raqeeb kii Banda wohi kiya jo Khudaa ka farmaan hua tha dunyaa keh liHaz se to keh sakte haiN keh banda wohi kerta hai jo Khudaa kehta hai mager aisa mere Hisaab se nahieN hai , ager sab kuch opper waala ker raha hai to phir jaza saza kaisi ??? bande ne wohi kiya jo khuda ka farmaan huwa tha Jee , per kya mera secound micra galat bayan hua hai......... Quote: Mere AshkoN mein baha tha lahoo-e- jigar aisaa Samandar hi nahi us shaam lal asmaan hua tha moHteram askhoN meN behna smajh nahieN aaya mujhee yeh kis se munasbat dii hai app ne ? Jee yahan main aapse ek sawal karna chahunga..... aap ansoo ko kya samjhte hai? I mean scintificaly and genaraly.....ansoo kya hai.....? Mere khayal se ansoo bhi lahoo ka hissa hai.... isliye maine ashkoN mein lahoo e jigar behne ki baat kahi hai....... Hope aap samjhe ho yaa main galat hun to plz wazahat kijiyeNga....... Quote: Urooj se pahele hi gurub hua aftaab E Kwahish Mili maut tabhi jab jine ka koi armaan hua tha aHsaas beHad acha laga .. yahaN app ki dawat per aaya hoN mager mera matlab na appko aur na kisi aur ko thes pahunchaana hai bus apni meHdood sooch ke mutabiq kuch baatieN app ke saamne a'rZ ki haiN ager koi bhi baat achi na lagi ho to ma'zrat chahta hoN Jee Mujeeb sahab main to chahunga ke aap meri har post per aaye, aur apne ilm ki roshni ki kirne humper bhi barsaya kare...... Aap Mazarhat khuwa hoker hume sharminda na kijiye, Aate rhaiye, Khush rhaiye, Apna khayal rakhiye, Khuda Hafez
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(#30)
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An Incomplite Dream
Offline
Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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22nd December 2009, 04:01 PM
Quote:
Pasandgi aur tarif ka behad mamnoon huN......... Aage bhi apna saath banaye rakhiye, Khush rahiye, Khuda Hafez.........
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(#31)
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Registered User
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Posts: 1,849
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mumbai
Rep Power: 32
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27th January 2010, 08:06 PM
Urooj se pahele hi gurub hua aftaab E Kwahish
Mili maut tabhi jab jine ka koi armaan hua tha Khwaish saheb Makhta to bas dil ko cheerta hua nikal gaya..........dad kabool kare. Par tujhe bevafa bhi kehna achcha nahi lagta... Mob.: +971 501297654
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(#32)
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An Incomplite Dream
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Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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21st February 2010, 04:28 PM
Quote:
Daad ka tahe dil se shukriyaa, Aage bhi apna saath banaye rakhiye, Apna khayal rakhiye, Khuda hafez..........
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(#33)
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Tanhaa Raahi
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Posts: 3,700
Join Date: Oct 2003
Rep Power: 54
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4th March 2010, 03:37 PM
Jaane kab Qudaa mujh pe mehrbaan hua tha
Shayad jab main Bismil ban Qurbaan hua tha Dekha tha pyaar se usne kisi roz youN mujhko Yeh bhi ek uska mujh pe kyaa ahsaan hua tha Meri anaa ne hi mujhko kahiN kaa na rakhaa Pherli Nazar usne jo mera qadardaan hua tha Shikast E mohobbat jo pahele bhi mil chuki thi Waqt ne phir wohi dohraya jo anjaam hua tha Kya shikayat main karta Qudaa se raqeeb kii Banda wohi kiya jo Qudaa ka farmaan hua tha Mere AshkoN mein baha tha lahoo jigar aisaa Samandar hi nahi us shaam lal asmaan hua tha Urooj se pahele hi gurub hua aftaab E Kwahish Mili maut tabhi jab jine ka koi armaan hua tha Iss ghazal ke liye hamare bhi tah-e-dil se daad kabul karein, Sameer Ji...! Apne ehsaas ko aapne issmain baDii khoobi se bayaan kiya hai...! Matle se maqta tak ek hi saans main parhaa humne iss shayri ko...! Khudaa Ji aap ke kalam ko salaamat rakhe aur aap apne khayaal ko thik se rakhein, ok...? Duaaon ke saath Haqeekat meri jaaN liye jaa rahi hai 
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(#34)
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An Incomplite Dream
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Posts: 3,017
Join Date: Mar 2009
Rep Power: 30
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21st March 2010, 02:35 PM
Quote:
Daany Jee aadaaB............. Kalam ki pasndgi aur hounsla afzai ke liye main tahe dil se shukra guzar huN..... DuaoN ke liye shukriya, Aage bhi apna saath aur mohobbat banaye rakhiye, Khush rhaiye, Khuda Aapko humesha khush rakhe, Aameen.. Khuda hafez......
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