Quote:
Originally Posted by Hamdam
Vo kehte haiN tumheiN pyar kerna nahi aata,
Ahle mohabbat ka izhaar karna nahi aata
Hum hote tau kab ke Ishq ki suli char gaye hote,
tumheiN tau mera haath bhi pakarna nahi aata
Kaise nibhaoge tum pyar meiN kasmeiN wade,
jazbaaton ki pyadan pe tumheiN chadna nahi aata..
tumhara ishq bahut foohar , alhar aur nadan hai,
tumhe tau meri ankhon ko bhi padna nahi aata.
mera ishq kachcha hai per mera dil sachcha hai,
mujhe bhavnao ke bhanwar meiN perna nahi aata.
bahut achchi lagti hain mujhe teri saari baatein ,
mujhe shikve shikayton meiN ladna nahi aata.
log kehte haiN bahut kuch vo tau kehte hi rahenge ,
tere pyarke siva mujhe kisi baat pe adna nahiN aata
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Sanjay ji ala ehsaason se buni is rachnaa ko mast ka salaam, kuch baatein kehna chahunga aapse yaha....
1. Ehsaas - is mein to aapke kabhi kami lagi hi nahi mujhe aur is baar bhi aapne jis saadgi se dil ki haalat bayaan ki hai mazaa aa gaya...
2. Aap jab alfaazon ka taana bunte hai to pehle muqarrar kijiye ki aapke kaafiye aur radeef ki bayaangi kya hogi, jaane kyun (I could be wrong) aisa lagta hai ki aap do sher likhne baad aage ke ghazal raqm karne ki liye kaafiye sochte hai aur unhe apne ehsaason mein baithaane ki koshish karte hai. Agar aisa hai to mera kehnaa hoga ki aap is baat par thoda dhayaan de, ab yeh bataata hoon ki aisa kyun keh raha hoon main...Yaha bhi mujhe 4th aur 5th sher mein kaafiya repeat lage, har sher ka ek rabt hota hai aur is sheron me ulaa aur saani mein vo baat nahi ban paayi ehsaas ko bunne ki kasar lag rahi hai.....
3. zubaan ki safaai par bhi gaur farmaiye ek baar, bahut zaroori hai jo padhne waala sher ko waise hi padhe jaisa shayar ne likhte waqt use mehsoos kiya ho, yaha shikayaton mein ladna ki jagah shikayaton par ladna jyaada apt raheGaa mere hisaab se...aur har sher ki bayaangi se sher ke wazn mein bahut farq aa jaata hai
Umeed hai aapko meri rakhaa nazariya bura nahi lagegaa...sab se yeh baat nahi keh sakta hoon, yunhi likhte rahiYeGaa