Ye chehra

[rashid_chaman]

Baad muddat ke, ek baar phir aaj haaazir hoon, kuchh tukbandiyon ke saath.....

Sahme se pyAre panchhI shAkhoN se ud gaye hoN
dhadhakti huI dhoop me baadal umad gaye hoN
laboN pe bikhra jaise khAmoshiyoN ka pehra
Kuchh aisa hi dikhta hai tasveer me ye chehra.

door nazar aaya ho ik jaana-pehchAna jahAN
Ek sada le aayI ho aashnaai ke nishaaN
Sunkar jise laga ho, naata hai koi gehra
Kuchh aisa hi dikhta hai tasveer me ye chehra.

Kuchh kehne ki ho khwAhish, kuchh sunne ki tamanna
AaNkheN khuli haiN phir bhi,khwAbon ko unme bunna
NigAhoN me samandar,veeraan dil me sehra
Kuchh aisa hi dikhta hai tasveer me ye chehra.


Aapki rai ka muntazir,

[ZaraSuniye]

Rashid ji.....


In dard bhari ghazlon mein aapki shayari par nazar paDi. Bahut pyaara likha hai. Maloom hota hai sach mein koi chehraa nigaahon ke saamne rakh kar likha hai. Bahut khushnaseeb hai vo chehraa.

Khudaa aapko khush rakhe . . .

-Zara Suniye

[rashid_chaman]

mohtarma 'Zara Suniye'!(muAf keejiyega mai aapka naam nahiN janta)
Aapka jawAb mila,khushi hui.tahe-dil se shukriya!! Aapko is nAcheez ki betuki tukbandi pasand aayee,aapki inAyat! maine wakai kisi ki tasveer dekhkar hi ye likha tha.aapne sahi farmAya, wo chehra sachmuch khushnaseeb hai, kyuNki ab wo kisi aur ki amAnat hai; aur apni khushnaseebi faqat itni,ki uski yaadoN ka saath hai.
baharhaal koshish rahegi ki aaiNda aur behtar likh sakuN; aur ummeed hai aap yuNhi hausla-afzAi karti raheNgi.aur haaN,aapke kalaam se ru-ba-ru hone ka bhi intizAr hai.

Aapka dost

[ZaraSuniye]

Rashid jee:

Yeh jaankar dil aur bhii bhar aaya ke vo chehraa jo ab kisi aur ki amaanat hai uske baare mein bhii aap kitne pyaare lawz kehte hai. Bahut bada dil hai aapka......khuda aapko khush rakhe.....

-Deepa ("Zara Suniye")

[maikasH]

rashid sahab

aadaab tasleem kareiN

lijiye aapne khusuusi daavat dii thi to haazir huuN.....guzishtaa kuch arse se idhar aana kuch kam raha hai lekin ab baqaayda haazir hota rahuNga......

aapki nazam be-had pasaNd aayi ....lekin bah'r meri haqeer raey meiN kahiiN-kahiiN ladkhadaa gayi hai...iss nazm meiN mujhe do bahuur nazar aayiiN.....aapki ijaazat se apne gustaakh ta'suraat kehta huuN :-


>Sahme se pyare panchhi shakhoN se ud gaye hoN
>dhadhakti hui dhoop me baadal umad gaye hoN
>LaboN-zubaaN pe jaise laga ho koi pehra
>Kuchh aisa hi dikhta hai tasveer me ye chehra.

pehla misra beh'r meiN hai.....aur jis beh'r meiN pehla misra aapne kaha hai maiN usii ko madd-e-nazar rakhte hue aapne khayaalaat zaahir kar raha huuN.....mulaizaa kijiye

doosra misra khaariz-e-beh'r hai aur duusri baat ye ke "dhoop ka dhadhkana" kuch theek nahiiN lag raha....dhoop khil sakti hai ...kadak sakti hai lekin mere khayaal se dhadhak nahiiN sakti ....aap isey khud hi dekh leN ....!!
teesra misra bhi beh'r meiN nahiiN lag raha ....isey yuuN keh kar dekhiye :-

aankhoN meN gam ke baadal, hoThoN pe chup ka pehra

aur chauTha yuuN keh sakte haiN :-

itnaa udaas kyuu hai ?? , tasveer meiN yeh chehraa


agar aapko thiik lage to iss beh'r meiN nazm dobara kehne ki koshish kijiye.......!!

meri kisi baat se aap itefaaq na rakhte hoN to be-jhijhak khabar kijiyega.......gustaakhi ke liye mazratkhuaa huuN

aadaab
maikasH

[rashid_chaman]

janab maikash sahab,
AdAb!
aapka jawAb mila!! bahut khushi hui!! shukriya! aapne jo bhi khaamiyAN ujAgar ki, bilkul baja hain, aur main unhe bilkul sahi maanta hooN.sirf ek jagah zara sa na-ittefAq hai; mAmooli-sa.
wo ye ki aapne kaha hai ki dhoop 'dhadhakti' hui nahi ho sakti!
mere khayAl se aapne is 'dhadhakti' lafz ko, dil ki 'dhadkan' se milta-julta maan liya hai shAyad! lekin mai us 'dhadhakti' ki baat kar raha hooN, jo aag ke saath istemaal kiya jaata hai. isliye dhoop ki tezi, uski shiddat ko batAne ke liye maine aag ke mutalliq istemaal hone wala lafz 'dhadhakti' yahaN istemaal kiya. phir bhi agar ye ghalat ho to batAiyega.
baaqi aapne jo kuchh bataya mai wo saari tabdeeliyAN karne ki koshish karuNga.
ek baar phir tahe-dil se shukriya.yuNhi rehnumai karte rahiyega.

aapka dost,

[rashid_chaman]

deepaji!

AAdaab!

aapko is adna se insAAn me kuchh qAbile-taareef ya qaabile-gaur nazar aaya, aapki inAyat hai! shukriya!!
khuda aapko bhi khush rakhe, dil se dua hai!

aapka dost,