Pehli baar ki post

**Pehli baar ki post -** 26th December 2002, 05:27 AM

nigaar khana-e-yay duniya maiN akayla bun k

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By mohammed rafiq sethi on Sunday, December 25, 2002 - 5:52 pm:

Pehlee bar is mehfil maiN haazir ho raha hooN. Darkhaast karta hooN ki tanqeed aur hausla afzaa'ai say mustafeed farmaiN gay. Roman bi nahiN likh sakta aur na hee typing aati hay. Ma'a zarat chahta hooN. Arz karta hooN

nigaar khana-e-yay duniya maiN akayla bun k
tum ko maiN yaad kiya karta hooN tunHa bun k

kone si raH thhi aisi jahaN dhhoNda na tumhaiN
ab to rusta bhi tthHer jaata hay saHra bun k

dhhonNdta hooN maiN tassawwur k saraabooN tumhaiN
maiN nay paani naheeN dhhoNda kabhhi tashna bun k

maarna chaaha bhi duniya nay to maiN mar na saka
maiN to mar mar k bhi jeeta raHa zinda bun k

na shanasa mujHay peHchan k kyooN buntay ho
jab k rehtay ho meray dil maiN shanasa bun k

mosamay gul bhi khizaaN bun k guzar jaata hay
kya mila dil ko meray baagh-e-tammanna bun k

jalti hay bazm-e-hareefaaN main to jalnay do uSay
jaan to shamm'a pay maiN dooNga patanga bun k

jab kabhi goonji hay bhaNwray ki sada gulshan maiN
phool sharma gayay israaray tammanna bun k

meri weeraan si baahoN maiN samaa kar deykHo
yay milan ttheHray ga donoN ka sahaara bun k

zindagi beet chuki phir bi na gHabra aiy RAFIQ
sub guzartay haiN kisi roz janaaza bun k

Sharaabi · 26th December 2002, 06:10 AM

Rafiq sahab,
Aapki ghazal bilkul Wah Wah ke layak hai!
Aur haan, aapka is dard-e-mehfil mein swaaghat hai..

The use of words is worth praising as well, but not more than the images you've created from your words..

Likhte rahiye,
Aman

prasaxena · **Khush amded -** 26th December 2002, 04:06 PM

Janab Sethi Sahab

Mahfil meN aap kaa Khair.maqdam kartaa huuN. YahaaN aap jaise shayroN ki bohat zaroorat hai. Umeed hai ab yahaN bhi aapki aamad hoti rahegi.

Aapki ye ghazal pehle bhi kisii aur site par dekh chuka hooN. Aur yahaN bhi isey dekh kar badi khushii huii. Iski zameen jitni achchii hai utnii hi mushkil bhi. Aur us par aapne achche sher kahe hain.

Achche khayalaat se bharpoor is ghazal ke mutalliq aapse tafseel se ba'ad meiN baat karooNga. Filhaal abhii khaas maqsad tha aapko khush amded kehna aur aik achchii shuruaat par daad dena. Aate rahiiye.

khaaksaar
Praveen Saxena

SMAH · 3rd January 2003, 01:30 AM

assalaam to u

sethi sahab badi khoob ghazal likhi hai aapne.
bohut mazaa aaya padhke. got a good glimpse of how the pros do it. wah.
how ever there were 4 things i wanted to clear up.
the second sher i dont understand its meaning(my fault) and i cant find the meaning of hareefan anywhere. and how would murda in the place of zinda be in the fourth sher and it should be mousam-e-gul instead of mosamay gul in the sixth sher.

i dont want to be all technical but by being a critic or critical.

thanx for posting this ghazal.

Mahek · **Bahut hi Khoob! -** 9th January 2003, 01:34 AM

adaab Sethi jee - aapki gahzl padhi aur jitni samajhme aayi utni achchi lagi! - humari urdu itni achchi nahi ki hum saare sheron ka mazaa le sake - agar aap humari usme kuch madad kar sakte hain to aap hume un lafzon ka matlab batayiyega jinpe humne * kiya hain - Mahek

nigaar* khana-e-yay* duniya maiN akayla bun k
tum ko maiN yaad kiya karta hooN tunHa bun k

kone* si raH thhi aisi jahaN dhhoNda na tumhaiN
ab to rusta bhi tthHer jaata hay saHra* bun k

dhhonNdta hooN maiN tassawwur* k saraabooN* tumhaiN
maiN nay paani naheeN dhhoNda kabhhi tashna* bun k

maarna chaaha bhi duniya nay to maiN mar na saka
maiN to mar mar k bhi jeeta raHa zinda bun k
- wah wah!

na shanasa* mujHay peHchan k kyooN buntay ho
jab k rehtay ho meray dil maiN shanasa* bun k

mosamay gul bhi khizaaN* bun k guzar jaata hay
kya mila dil ko meray baagh-e-tammanna bun k

jalti hay bazm-e-hareefaaN* main to jalnay do uSay
jaan to shamm'a pay maiN dooNga patanga* bun k

jab kabhi goonji hay bhaNwray ki sada gulshan maiN
phool sharma gayay israaray tammanna bun k
- wah wah!

meri weeraan si baahoN maiN samaa kar deykHo
yay milan ttheHray ga donoN ka sahaara bun k
- bahut khoob!

zindagi beet chuki phir bi na gHabra aiy RAFIQ
sub guzartay haiN kisi roz janaaza bun k
- wah, bahut khoob!