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tujhe khuoob ye hunar he .. mujhe pash pash karna
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kashmiri
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Post tujhe khuoob ye hunar he .. mujhe pash pash karna - 7th July 2002, 06:53 PM

assalamu alikum tamam dost-o-ahbab ...
nai ghazal pesh-e khidmat hae ..

or .. aapki tanqeed ka intizar hae :

ghazal hae :

==============================================

mera saaNs rokna phir ............. mere dil ki lash karna
tujhe khuoob ye hunar hae .. mujhe pash pash karna

aa-e tabeeb ! maNgta he meN raha wafa ka marham
tera kam bas jalana ............... mera dil kharash karna

hae ajeeb teri ulfat ....................... teri la ubaliyaN bhi
mere raaz sun kae mujhse ....... mere raaz fash karna

teri bijliiyaN jafa ki ............... mere dil pe gir chuki heN
meN to khak ho chuka huN ..... na mujhe talash karna

tere wasl ki tamanna ............... meri aarzow-e qurbat
howa kargar na sagar .............. tera kash kash karna

==============================================

or maikash ji se maazirat chahoN ga agar koi lafz sahi na likkha gaya ho .... koshish kar raha huN huroof roman rasmul khat meN meN achi tarah likne ki .....

ok , ijazat chahta huN

allah hafiz

SaGaR KaShMiRi


azal ke mast heN rakhte heN ham fitrat he mastana

hamiN khum heN hamiN saghar hamiN maikash hamiN saqi

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Mahek
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Question 8th July 2002, 10:22 PM

Namaste saagar-jee - aapki ghazal padhi - lekin kuch mushkil ho rahi hain kuch lavzon ko samajhne mein - jin lavzon par humne (*) lagaya hain aap gar unke arth hume samjha de to hume ghazal samajhne mein aasaani ho jayegi - aapka bahut bahut shukriya - Mahek -

mera saaNs rokna phir ............. mere dil ki lash karna
tujhe khuoob ye hunar hae .. mujhe pash* pash* karna

aa-e tabeeb* ! maNgta he meN raha wafa ka marham
tera kam bas jalana ............... mera dil kharash* karna

hae ajeeb teri ulfat ....................... teri la ubaliyaN* bhi
mere raaz sun kae mujhse ....... mere raaz fash karna

teri bijliiyaN jafa ki ............... mere dil pe gir chuki heN
meN to khak ho chuka huN ..... na mujhe talash karna

tere wasl* ki tamanna ............... meri aarzow-e qurbat*
howa kargar* na sagar .............. tera kash kash karna


zindagI jab bhI terI bazm mein LAtI hai hamein
ye zamIn chAnd se behatar nazar AtI hai hamein

surkh phUlon se MAHEK uThatI hain dil kI rAhen
din Dhale yUN terI AvAz bulAtI hai hamein
----------------------------------------------
taeray Gham ki KhuShbu say jism-o-jaaN MAHEK uTThay
saaNs ki havaa jab bhi Choo kay maeray lab guzri

aek saath reh kay bhi, door hi rahay ham bhi
dhoop aur Chaa'ooN ki dosti ajab guzri
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SubhanAllah!!
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shumaila
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Thumbs up SubhanAllah!! - 8th July 2002, 11:25 PM

Wahhhh SAGAR ..mashallah bahut pyaari ghazal hai...tum maano ya na manoo mujhe tumhare kalaam bahut pasand aate haiN...tumhare likhne ka andaz baDa lutf andoz hota hai... Bas zara sa ROMAN SCRIPT meiN likhna seekh jaoo..kyoNki kabhi kabhi lafzoN ko samajhna baDa mushkil ho jata hai

mera saaNs rokna phir ............. mere dil ki lash karna
tujhe khuoob ye hunar hae .. mujhe pash pash karna
--waaaaahh!!!So beautiful!!

aa-e tabeeb ! maNgta he meN raha wafa ka marham
tera kam bas jalana ............... mera dil kharash karna
--again WAH!!!

hae ajeeb teri ulfat ....................... teri la ubaliyaN bhi
mere raaz sun kae mujhse ....... mere raaz fash karna
--wooooww.....ye sher to bas kamaal ka hai!!!

teri bijliiyaN jafa ki ............... mere dil pe gir chuki heN
meN to khak ho chuka huN ..... na mujhe talash karna
--wah wah!!

tere wasl ki tamanna ............... meri aarzow-e qurbat
howa kargar na sagar .............. tera kash kash karna
--bahut baDhiya!!

Chalo sagar likhte rehna...!!!

DuaooN ke saath,
Shumaila


kabhi kisi ko muqammal jahan nahi milta
kahiiN zameeN to kahiiN aasmaN nahi milta!!
   
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aadab mehak ji .....
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kashmiri
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aadab mehak ji ..... - 10th July 2002, 01:37 AM

aadab , mehak ...DFGHDSFGGDFGSDGTWRT6QW5 253RWEFAFDSSDFSDFSDFSDFSDFSDFSDFSDXACAF
ummid hae aap kheriyyat sae hoNge , aapke ihtimam ka shukriya , aapko lafzoN ke maani likh deta huN jinki taraf aapne ishara kia hae :

( 1) pash pash kardena => kisi cheez ko tukre tukre kardena .
(2) tabeeb => mareez shanaas , aam lafzoN meN doctor .
(3) dil kharash => takleef deh .
(4) la ubaliyaN => ye jamaa hae . asal meN la ubali pan hae , or la ubali pan ka matlab bae parwahi .
(5) wasal => mulaqat .
(6) qurbat=> nazdeeki .
(7) kargar=> kar aamad , faida .

acha ab ijazat chahta huN , or haN aapke na-e kalam ka intizaar hoga .

bye

sagar kashmiria


azal ke mast heN rakhte heN ham fitrat he mastana

hamiN khum heN hamiN saghar hamiN maikash hamiN saqi

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salam !
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kashmiri
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salam ! - 10th July 2002, 01:43 AM

salam alikum baji !

ghazal pasand farmane ka shukriya , aapke nae kalam ka i
ntizaar hae ...

ok
allah hafiz
sagar kashmiri


azal ke mast heN rakhte heN ham fitrat he mastana

hamiN khum heN hamiN saghar hamiN maikash hamiN saqi

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Bahut achche!
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prasaxena
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Thumbs up Bahut achche! - 11th July 2002, 02:03 PM

Sagar bahi

adaab

Aapke is umda kalaam se to pehle hi lutf andoz ho chuka tha. Lekin waq ki kami itminaan se baith kar likhne ki ijazat nahi de rahi thii. Aaj phir aapka kalaam padha aur phir uske baad likhe baghair raha na gaya.

To janab ye kalaam bi aapka apna wohi makhsoos andaaz liy hai. Aur badi khoobi se aapne apne khayalaat ko ashaar meiN piroya hai. Aur ye waqaii qabil-e-daad hai.

Chand ashaar jinhoNne mutassir kiya unka zikr meiN yahaN zaroor karna chahoonga.

aa-e tabeeb ! maNgta he meN raha wafa ka marham
tera kam bas jalana ............... mera dil kharash karna

wah kya khoob kaha hai.

hae ajeeb teri ulfat ....................... teri la ubaliyaN bhi
mere raaz sun kae mujhse ....... mere raaz fash karna
bahut khoob sagar sahab!

teri bijliiyaN jafa ki ............... mere dil pe gir chuki heN
meN to khak ho chuka huN ..... na mujhe talash karna
kya kehne janaab achcha sher hai!!

tere wasl ki tamanna ............... meri aarzow-e qurbat
howa kargar na sagar .............. tera kash kash karna
kya ajeeb halaat pesh aa gaye haiN. wah janab! wah!


aapke aainda kalamoN ka intezaar rahega

duaon ke saath
Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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shukriya ......
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kashmiri
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Smile shukriya ...... - 11th July 2002, 09:19 PM

aadab parveen ji !
ghazal pasand farmane kashukriya .....

magar koi ghalti nahiN nikali aapne ?
meri ghazal ...or ghalti na ho ismeN ...! na mumkin hae ..

kher ..... shukriya aapka ..

ok
bye
sagar


azal ke mast heN rakhte heN ham fitrat he mastana

hamiN khum heN hamiN saghar hamiN maikash hamiN saqi

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wah saagar sahaab....
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Anamika
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wah saagar sahaab.... - 11th July 2002, 09:33 PM

adaab saagar sahaab.....pehli baar aapka koi qalam pardhaa hain....bahut khoob.....hume yeh aashaar khaas pasand aaye...

mera saaNs rokna phir ............. mere dil ki lash karna
tujhe khuoob ye hunar hae .. mujhe pash pash karna

hae ajeeb teri ulfat ....................... teri la ubaliyaN bhi
mere raaz sun kae mujhse ....... mere raaz fash karna

teri bijliiyaN jafa ki ............... mere dil pe gir chuki heN
meN to khak ho chuka huN ..... na mujhe talash karna

tere wasl ki tamanna ............... meri aarzow-e qurbat
howa kargar na sagar .............. tera kash kash karna

....aashaa hai ki aapke aur qalam padhne ka luft milta rahega....k'hafiz....


ye jo ham hijr meiN deewaar-o-dar ko dekhte haiN
kabhee saba ko kabhee naamaabar ko dekhte haiN

woh aaye ghar meiN hamaare KHuda ki kudrat hai
kabhee ham unko, kabhee apane ghar ko dekhte haiN

nazar lage na kaheeN uske dast-o-baazoo ko
ye log kyoN mere zaKHm-e-jigar ko dekhtaiN haiN ?
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aadab !
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kashmiri
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Smile aadab ! - 12th July 2002, 01:34 AM

ÂÏÇÈ
aadab anamika .
ummid har aap kheriyyat sae hoNge , ghazal pasand aai aapko jan kar khushi hoi , koshish hogee aainda bhi aapke husn-e zan par pora utarne ki ...

thanx
bye
sagar


azal ke mast heN rakhte heN ham fitrat he mastana

hamiN khum heN hamiN saghar hamiN maikash hamiN saqi

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maikasH
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15th July 2002, 08:15 PM

sagar sahab....aadaab

daer se jawaab dene ke liye mazrat chahtaa huuN.....

aapki yeh ghazal bhi mashah allah bphat khoob hai....chaNd khaamiiyaN jo meri in gustaakh nazroN ko khatkiiN....unka zikr kar raha huuN


mera saaNs rokna phir ............. mere dil ki lash karna
tujhe khuoob ye hunar hae .. mujhe pash pash karna

matle ka dosra misra qaabil-e-daad hai magar pehle misra kuch jamaa nahiiN...... "meri saaNs rokna" kuch ghair-shai'rana lag raha hai jin jazabaat ka izhaar aap karna chah rahe haiN yeh tarqiib unke saath insaaf nahiiN kar saki...aur... "dil ki laash karna" bhi mujhe kuch munaasib nahiiN lagaa.......ho sake to pehle misre ka aur badal sochiye....

aa-e tabeeb ! maNgta he meN raha wafa ka marham
tera kam bas jalana ............... mera dil kharash karna

bohat khoob....umda she'r hai.......lekin doosre misre meiN bayaan-e-khayaal kuch behtarii chahta hai......


hae ajeeb teri ulfat ....................... teri la ubaliyaN bhi
mere raaz sun kae mujhse ....... mere raaz fash karna

behtariin she'r hai....bohat khoob

teri bijliiyaN jafa ki ............... mere dil pe gir chuki heN
meN to khak ho chuka huN ..... na mujhe talash karna

yeh she'r bhi khoob hai....pehle misre meiN....."teri bijliiyaaN jafa ki".....ki tartiib agar yuuN hoti to ....."teri jafaa ki bijliyaaN" ....lekin aisa karne se misra khaarij-az-bah'r ho jayega.....isliye iska bhi koi badal sochiye.....aur doosre misre mein mere khyaal se lafz-e-"ab" ka hona misre ko chaar chaaNd lagaa dega.....ab ye kaam kaise hoga yeh aap sochiye.....


tere wasl ki tamanna ............... meri aarzow-e qurbat
howa kargar na sagar .............. tera kash kash karna

WAAAH....maqta bhi bohat khoob....doosre misre pe khaas taur pe meri mubarkbaad kabuul kijiye.....!!


aakhir meiN aapko ek mushkil qafiya istemaal karte hue ek purasar ghazal muqammal karne pe phir se mubarkbaad deta huuN,....aur meter ka bhi aapne khaas khayaal rakha hai.....bohat achche....!!

aap ghazal pe apna home-work...inshah allah ghazal aur bhi nikhat jayegi

maikasH


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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aadaab maikash ....
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kashmiri
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Smile aadaab maikash .... - 15th July 2002, 09:34 PM

aadab maikash ji ....

aapne dersae jawab dia iskamatlab aapne ghazal ko khuoob pakaya hae ... achi bat hae, isi tarah ho aainda bi

aapke mulaizaat pare behad shukriya , fil haal to imtihaanat jari heN , mene aapke note copy karleye heN , insha allah waqt milne par zaroor hatha pai karoN ga

or ghazal pasan farmane ka...ae dost ! shukriya ......
ok, phir mulaqaat hogee

bye
sagar kashmiri


azal ke mast heN rakhte heN ham fitrat he mastana

hamiN khum heN hamiN saghar hamiN maikash hamiN saqi

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