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*~*Ki iN kAnToN pEr oR cHaLa JaTa NaHi*~* |
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(#1)
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Registered User
  
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Posts: 2,269
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Delhi.(India)
Rep Power: 37
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*~*Ki iN kAnToN pEr oR cHaLa JaTa NaHi*~* -
23rd March 2012, 01:15 PM
bahon ke sahare rehne de mujhe ki bin tere humse jeeya jata nahi harpal mein rehti hai udasi mere kyun paas tu mere aata nahi hai duri bhi hai zaruri pyar mein mana nazdikiyan bhi to badhata nahi hai shiddat hai tujhse hi milne ki bahut rooh ki pyaas kyun bujhata nahi hai is zindagi ke chaar pal or hain baki per tu is baat ko samajh pata nahi rahon mein meri khilade ab kaliyaan ki in kanton per or chala jata nahi bahon ke sahare rehne de mujhe ki bin tere humse jeeya jata nahi jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai uth jati hai kalam likhne ko wo pyar deewana hota hai kar deti hai haal-e-dil bayaan wo kalaam shayraana hota hai jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* duniya mein kitna gam hai apna gam phir bhi kam hai ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* |
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(#2)
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Anshumali
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Posts: 7,420
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
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23rd March 2012, 06:34 PM
is zindagi ke chaar pal or hain baki
per tu is baat ko samajh pata nahi rahon mein meri khilade ab kaliyaan ki in kanton per or chala jata nahi Shweta Ji ... Aap Kii Takhleeq Ke EhsaasaaT Iss Baar Bhii Mann Sparshii Rahe .. Humeshaa Kii Taraha ... Bahut Prabhaavit Karti HaiN ... Aap Kii RachnaayeN ... ! AchChhi Peshkash ... UmdaaH !!! Mubaaraqbaad !!!   YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
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(#3)
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Banned
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Posts: 2,586
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Delhi
Rep Power: 0
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24th March 2012, 04:46 AM
Quote:
ab se maine aapko .... shayro ki list mai daal diyaa hai............. bas ab aise hi jaldi se next step le le............ bahut acha nibhaya hai kafiyaa.... khyaal..... bahut acha laga apme ye badlaav dekh kar... plzz aab aage hi badhy peechy na dekheN regards |
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(#4)
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Shayri.com Moderator
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Posts: 10,551
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: INDIA
Rep Power: 59
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24th March 2012, 09:18 AM
Dear shweta:
namaste! bahot hi umdaah andaaz-a-bayaan rahaa aapka... lafzoN ko ba-Khoobee istemaal kiyaa aapne... yuuNhi liKhte rahen... dil se daad KhuSh rahen... apnaa Khayaal raKhen duaaoN ke saath ijaazat jSk...! aapka ~Dhaval |
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(#5)
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AN ILLUSION
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Posts: 726
Join Date: Oct 2011
Rep Power: 33
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24th March 2012, 11:08 AM
shweta jee............mere comment se pahale aap janumanu(fikr) bhai ka comment padh chuki hongi. aur meree raay bhee unse judaa nahi hai..........aapkee ye ghazal har maayne men aapke pichhle qalaamo se behatar hai.............
duri bhi hai zaruri pyar mein mana nazdikiyan bhi to badhata nahi hai ye sher bahut acchaa hai.............daad per tu is baat ko samajh pata nahi quoted misra bahut badiya hai par aapse do baate kahnaa chaahata hu...........1 ghazal ke matle ko ghzal ke aakhir men repeat karne ka koi matlab nahee hai.......so plzz never do that. 2 ghazal ka radeef hai nahi hai lekin aapne kuch as'aar men radeef sirf nahi liya hai................iska khyaal rakhiya. ummeed hai ki aap apne har qalaam ke saath yu hi behtar hotee rahengi........agar meree kisi baat ka buraa lagaa ho to sorry. khush rahiye likhte rahiye |
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(#6)
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Registered User
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Posts: 146
Join Date: Sep 2011
Rep Power: 16
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24th March 2012, 12:14 PM
ab sirf yahi duwa nikalti hai ki "ya khuda is dewaangi pe taras kha aur iski duwa kubool kar"
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(#7)
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Registered User
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Posts: 2,269
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Delhi.(India)
Rep Power: 37
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26th March 2012, 01:06 PM
Quote:
Naresh ji apne meri is koshish ko parkha or apni mubaaraqbaad se nawaaza uske liye shukriya...aise hi padhte rahein or koi kamibesi ho toh batate rahein taecaer jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai uth jati hai kalam likhne ko wo pyar deewana hota hai kar deti hai haal-e-dil bayaan wo kalaam shayraana hota hai jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* duniya mein kitna gam hai apna gam phir bhi kam hai ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* |
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(#8)
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Registered User
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Posts: 2,269
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Delhi.(India)
Rep Power: 37
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26th March 2012, 01:09 PM
Quote:
Janumanu ji.. mein jaise pehle thi aaj bhi waise hi hun...agar aap sab ko mere mein badlaav nazar aata hai wo bhi positive to is se acchi baat mere liye bhi koi or nahi hai... meri koshish ko padha apne or mujhe ek shayar ka khitaab dia uske liye shukriya.... aise padhte rahein or koi kami dikhe toh batate rahein taecaer jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai uth jati hai kalam likhne ko wo pyar deewana hota hai kar deti hai haal-e-dil bayaan wo kalaam shayraana hota hai jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* duniya mein kitna gam hai apna gam phir bhi kam hai ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* |
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(#9)
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Registered User
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Posts: 2,269
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Delhi.(India)
Rep Power: 37
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26th March 2012, 01:11 PM
Quote:
Dhaval.. umeed hai tum dono ache se ho.... tum toh acche se jaante hi ho mein kis tarah likhti hun... har dafaa ki tarah yeh koshish bhi tumhe pasand ayi...mujhe accha laga aate rehna.. taecaer both jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai uth jati hai kalam likhne ko wo pyar deewana hota hai kar deti hai haal-e-dil bayaan wo kalaam shayraana hota hai jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* duniya mein kitna gam hai apna gam phir bhi kam hai ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* |
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(#10)
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Registered User
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Posts: 2,269
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Delhi.(India)
Rep Power: 37
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26th March 2012, 01:17 PM
Quote:
Uffaq ji. mein technically likhna chahti hun or aap logon ka sath raha toh inshallah jald hi mein bhi achi shayara ban jaungi apne jo faults bataye hain unka mein khayal rakhungi aaage ki ghazal mein... apki baton ka buraa kyun lagega...apne mere faults hi toh bataye hain...jo ki future mein repeat na ho... apko meri yeh ghazal har maayne mein pasand aayi uske liye tahe dil se shukriya aise hi aate rahiyega or faults batate rahiyega (agar hoenge toh) taecaer jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai uth jati hai kalam likhne ko wo pyar deewana hota hai kar deti hai haal-e-dil bayaan wo kalaam shayraana hota hai jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* duniya mein kitna gam hai apna gam phir bhi kam hai ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* |
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(#11)
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Registered User
Offline
Posts: 2,269
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Delhi.(India)
Rep Power: 37
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26th March 2012, 01:18 PM
Quote:
Krishna ji... aapke is dua qalaam per ameen taecaer jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai uth jati hai kalam likhne ko wo pyar deewana hota hai kar deti hai haal-e-dil bayaan wo kalaam shayraana hota hai jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* duniya mein kitna gam hai apna gam phir bhi kam hai ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* |
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