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Rohin
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Show your best writing to us..... - 2nd October 2005, 09:23 PM

Hi Friends,

Many of my friends here and otherwise have asked me how do i write what i write... i really do not have a clue abt this...but i would like to know how the thought process works... how we as writers are able to come up with the kind of creations that we do...

I do appreciate the fact that many of us here try and write Ghazal... which i highly appreciate... but somehow it seems little tensed up to me... I am like how to put the Qaafiya the radeef together how to keep the beher in mind etc etc.... it all seems to complex for me... So when i read someone like Paras, Talib, Maikash, Kunal, Aman, Musharaf, Pulkit, Jasu, Kasak, Karan, Khsitiz, etc... i wonder how are they all able to pull it through.... I really would like to clap my hands in appreciation for this....

I also appreciate writers who seem to just get lost in their feelings and just let their mind flow like a fish in sea water... they do not follow any of the rules of writing... but are able to express with good words their feelings.... like Chaand, Meena di, Priya, Karthik, Sukanya, sakhi, Pallavi, mast etc.... Highly comendable again.... hats off to you all....

I would also like to mention about writers who just use simplicity in the way they write...their writings just do not need any explanations... just read and feel... like Praveen, Naina, Kevin, Swati, Palak, Niral, warda, yogesh, kavita etc.... again something i am so fascinated with it just takes you writers to a whole new level... fantastic... highly comendable indeed..... a round of applause for you all....

Then their are writers...who with their imagination and creation are able to bring a picture to life or draw a picture with words or maybe make us hum a song......Highly imaginative and creative... like Komal, Manoj, sometimes Kunal.... moving words and picture i must say...hundred colours in black and white.... wonderfully crafted.... appreciation once again...let the words paint the town..

Another group of wonderful writers... they are just different... their approach to writing itself is to provocate... mind you i am talking about provocation of thoughts... they seem to be touched by simple things in life and write how these affect their thoughts...
like Vipin, Garima, Lucky, Muskil, shadow, shalini... something i envy... well have too... for they have pure thoughts... salute to you guys....

Again if you would still see each and every writer is unique in their own respect... each providing a different insight and view of thoughts....

I was just pondering over these thoughts...
How we write on pain? on love on anything for that matter.... what triggers these words and imagination... quiet a diffuclt question for me to answer... but maybe some of you would be able to shed some light on it... would love to hear from you.... please note its just to know how? many of you stumble upon the idea or the thought.... its again to trigger a chain of thoughts for my own good.... and maybe get a deeper insight into myself....

Please provide your views on it and maybe we can learn something from each other.... all in the wake of simulating creativity and maybe appreciating each others way of writing... and thinking.... all sort of involvement here would be appreciated....

like provide a insight as to how the thought process gets triggered.... what chain reaction takes place... how do you choose the form of writing to write in... how do you choose words... do you use your own experience or do you use your observation or its just the wizardry of words...

We all take time out to write for ourselves... i would be glad if all of you could take time out to write about the way you write... We all love writing so hoping to see some lovers of writing would share their views on this.....

Also I mentioned only a few writers by name.. some I did not mention ... its just that i have mainly read writing by these writers which does not mean others cannot particiapte..... it will all the more help us in understanding the new writers at the forum and maybe give us a peek into your beautiful writings... if you could supplement your thoughts with your work... it would be fantastic......

Like the title suggests... show your best writing to us... i would like what you people think is your most satisfactory or best writing till date to be shared on this thread providing reasons for choosing it only one please.... again something to just compile together some good thoughts in one thread.... if we all particiapte with full earnetst I promise you all at the end of it all i would give you all something you all would remember forever...

Take Care
Eagerly waiting
Rohin Bhargava


http://www.thoughtsunbound.com a place for my thoughts
   
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karthik
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2nd October 2005, 10:13 PM

hey rohin bhaiyaa...its a very nice idea to know the source of imagination...
it helps in developin our way of writin and may also influence our thinkin ...
well...comin to my favourite poem

Mind weighs a bit too heavy
As your thoughts takes over my conscience

Heart is bleeding with pain
Tears continue to flow like rain

Silence has taken me over
When I have so much to ponder over

Why did your presence, make my dreams more beautiful
When you were never meant for me…

Why did my heart beat faster, when you were around
As if to suggest that we are one for another

Why am I feeling this bad, as if I made a sin
When I’ve only loved you with all I have

Why am I still alive, when I can never reach you
Why am I searching for you at a place where I can never find you


the source of the poem is frm a conversation with my friend
while we were tokin she sent me a quote

challenge d mind- reward d soul!

and i replied sayin tht....vat if the mind is too heavy to think and the soul needs to rest in peace...
i used the first line in da poem....it doesnt mean tht i started the poem frm tht line n kept writin
but the thought started there ...i mean...the way i was feelin i started...and continued to explain the reason y i felt like tht
and in da end...i ended the poem with words which shows the way i expect my life to go on...
well...its all imagination...
but there are alot of thins tht are true...
and so i feel...the poem is abt my own self n feelings
so i would rate it my best poem...

but i also like a couple of liness...in hindi which i rote...these wud remain my fav ones...may nt b the best

Dekhna chahta hun..
Tere tasvir ko khwab banake dekhna chahta hun
Aur us khwab mein apne aap ko khona chahta hun

Marna chahta hun
Hazar baar marke bhi ek baar jeena chahta hun
Tere pyar ki ehsaas ko paana chahta hun

Thanks for this post...
n i wud luv to have your say on this..
take care


Karthik
Chaandni mere pyaar ki kyun uspar na rang laayi
Kyun bas kami hi meri ibaadat me usko nazar aayi
Thaa laakh bura sahi main. sacchi meri chaahat thi
Kyun meri bhaavnaon ko woh samajh nahi paayi...

Dekhna chahta hun..
Tere tasveer ko khwab banake dekhna chahta hun
Aur us khwab mein apne aap ko khona chahta hun

I envy the words, which took the form of my emotions
I love my poetry…
Which has turned the tears of pain in to the pearls of love…
   
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hi rohin..!
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komal5
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hi rohin..! - 3rd October 2005, 03:32 PM

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Tum..

bundoN mein
lehroN mein
ashkoN mein
kehkaho mein
han..har mausam ke rango mein ho tum

suroN mein
saazoN mein
baatoN mein
raazoN mein
han..sansoN ki taaro mein ho tum

neendoN mein
nazaaroN mein
lafzoN mein
isharoN mein
han..door tak khayaloN mein ho tum

rasmoN mein
rishtoN mein
silsiloN mein
kissoN mein
han..guzarte sare lamhoN mein ho tum!

mehfiloN mein
tanhayioN mein
mushqiloN mein
AssaniyoN mein
han...har lamhe ki gehraaiyoN mein ho tum

khumaarioN mein
nadaaniyoN mein
kahaanioN mein
nishaaniyoN mein
han... ek umra si lambi judaiyoN mein ho tum

HonsloN mein
HassiiloN mein
RaastoN mein
ManziloN mein
han...ab fuk fuk ke jo rakhte hein hum..
Un kadmoN mein ho tum.
han.... ab chun chun ke jo lete hein hum..
Un fainsloN mein ho tum.
han....ab dur dur jinse rehetein hein hum....
Un yaadoN mein ho tum.

han.. ab sirf yaadoN mein ho tum.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sum how this poem of mine has made a special place in my heart, the reason cud be the "form" of this poem..., the simplicity..and the best part i like is, its End...even 2day whn i read it...i feel the same pain.

I feel i also managed 2 say allmost all i wished 2 potray in ....its a complete poem 4 me. when i started wid it i dint knew the end..but when i reached the end...i was immensly pleased...

bundoN mai, ashkoN mai, leheron mai, kehkahoN mai....and the flow went on.....wid the thought ,...."tht U r weaved in every aspect of my life, "....and the form was almost defined wid this.

i went on wid feelings and exploring words....i dint knew where 2 stop...but i myself dint realise when did i reach such realistic end of the poem! N the theme of d poem, turned 2 " A journey of dreams 2 reality".

An intresting fact: those were my earlier days on this site, i had posted sum 4 paras of this poem...n i got reply frm shadow (shashi ji) saying :"the poem doesnt seem complete..write ahead"...n i then wrote ahead...N i still Thank shashee ji for this 2day its one of my dearest poems!

rohin...i cd not illustrate the thought process so well....but i tried 2 explain wat i cud...
thanx
tc
komal


~a tender touch~

Last edited by komal5; 3rd October 2005 at 03:34 PM..
   
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Taish
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~*~*MeRi ZiNdAgI~*~* - 3rd October 2005, 07:31 PM

jindagi ko jitna samajna chahta hoon mein,
jindagi mujhe utna hi uljha deti hai.

jindagi se jitna bhagta hoon mein,
jindagi mere utne hi pas aa jati hai.

jindagi ko jitna hi bhulana chahta hoon mein,
jindagi mujhe utna hi rula jati hai.

jindagiko jitna hi jeena chahta hoon mein,
jindgi mujhe ute hi berahmi se mar jati hai.

har wo cheez jo mein pana chahta hoon,
jindagi mujse cheen le jati hai.

jindagi mein jab bhi mein buri tarah jeetna chahta hoon chahta hoon,
jindagi mujhe utni hi safai se hara jati hai.

jab kabhi mein dil khol ke rona chahta hoon,
ye kambhakht jindagi aansoo tak bahane nahi deti hai.

jindagi mein jitna bhi marna chahta hoon mein,
jindagi mujhe utna hi jeena sikha jati hai.



bhaiya sorry thoda late ho gaya,asal me confuse ho gaya tha ki kise chunu main.waise thank a lot bhaiya aapki is post pe reply ke bahane maine aaj apni bahut purani rachnayen padhi ahcha laga jaan kar ki main bhi likhna seekh raha hoon.

waise mujhe ye kavitadil se jyada pyari hai,karan ye hai ki ye meri zindagi ki sachhai hai,aur iska har ek shabd sach hai.aur ye sachhai hai ki zindagi ka har lamha mujhe kuch na kuch sikha jata hai.bas isiliye ye meri favorite hai.umeed hai aap sabhi ko nirash nahi kiya hai maine.


aapka LUCKY



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Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN,
Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai...

----Taish

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~*~*We R iN lOvE~*~*
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Taish
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~*~*We R iN lOvE~*~* - 3rd October 2005, 07:38 PM

a lover is 1 who,
shares with mw,
the bright sun or,
the gloom.
a lover is 1 with,
love to spare.
bcoz the heart,
has room.

lovers r flowers,
n the time spent toghether,
life's happiest hours.

for all the special,
joys we share.
for all the ways u,
show u care.
for all the times when,
u've been there.
i'm glad,i hav,
ur heart's share.

if we lit loves lamp,
let ne years ago,
it stiil will burn,
brightly,amid,
time's ebb n flow.

we hav grown 2 b 1 soul 2 part,
our lives so interwined,
that when some passion stirs ur heart,
i feel the quake in mine.

when the skies r,
overcastn when,
pouring down.
i wish 2 walk with,
u along,
the whole town.

my dress still smells,
of the perfume u wore.
n now my heart body n soul,
is all only ur.

all my dreams r,
built aroud u.
n i've come 2 know,
that its true.
in my life,
there is no living,
that is not a,
part of u.

only thoughts,
of u remain.
in my heart,
where they hav lain.others leave me,
all things leave me,
YOU
only u remain.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/

Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN,
Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai...

----Taish

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karthik
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3rd October 2005, 07:39 PM

hello komal ji...
kya likha hain apne
wahh
mind blowin
so soft yet so sad....
it is jus amazin
one of the best i've read
thanks rohin for this thread...
i am able to read some wonderful works by some wonderful shayrs n poets
and how abt ur best poem rohin?
i wanna c tht
reply soon
take care u both


Karthik
Chaandni mere pyaar ki kyun uspar na rang laayi
Kyun bas kami hi meri ibaadat me usko nazar aayi
Thaa laakh bura sahi main. sacchi meri chaahat thi
Kyun meri bhaavnaon ko woh samajh nahi paayi...

Dekhna chahta hun..
Tere tasveer ko khwab banake dekhna chahta hun
Aur us khwab mein apne aap ko khona chahta hun

I envy the words, which took the form of my emotions
I love my poetry…
Which has turned the tears of pain in to the pearls of love…
   
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garima
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3rd October 2005, 08:38 PM

Hi Bhaiya,


well mai ye nahi bata sakati ki meri sabse achhi post kaun si hogi.. mujhe to saari achhi lagati hai.. sabki apani kahani hai.. i love all of them.. maine jo bhi likha dil se likha hai.. kaise kahen kaun si achhi kaun si nahi.. dil ki saari baate achhi lagati hai..

mai bas itana bata sakati hoon ki mai kabhi bhi likhate waqt topic par nahi jaati.. mai kisi topic par likh hi nahi paati hoon.. aaj tak nahi likha.. na hi likhane ke liye mujhe words jodane pade.. bas jab mere dil me koi feeling umadane lage to alfaaz khood pa khood nikal padate hai.. bas mai unhe utaar leti hoon.. topic to usake baad samajh me aata hai ki kya hona chahiye..mere liye koi poem ya koi kahani ya koi article ka matlab hai ki apani aatma ki aawaj sunana.. wo aawaj jo chikh chikh kar mujhase kuchh kehana chaahati ho... bas usi aawaj ko sunane ka parinaam meri rachnaao me aata.. bas itana hi keh sakungee.


luv u a lot
aapki lallu


Anant se bhi aage... itni si khwahish hai :)
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Kavita...Ek Saagar!
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Amanush...
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Kavita...Ek Saagar! - 4th October 2005, 12:57 AM

Weisse kehna Mushkil hai ki kaun si apni kavita hamein jyaadatar
pasand hai...For an artist, his every creation is a masterpiece...hai na ?
After thinking a lot...I have come to the conclusion that my
signature deserves a special recognition...!

Jeene ke liye mujhe ek sapna de do
Haqeekat meri jaan liye jaa rahi hai...


The following poem is an old creation of mine,and I have edited it
a little. I am submitting it here...!Who knows...maybe you can draw
some profit out of it...!

[color=royal blue]
Kavita...ek Saagar

Pataa nahin agar galat keh raha houn ya sacchi baat …
Mein sochta houn ki kavita aur kaavya ki iss duniya ko
khayaalon aur ehsaason ka saagar maana ja sakta hai…
Eisse saagar jisske anek adbhout roup houa karte hai…

Subhah ke suryoday ke samay wo nayi naveli doulhan
ki sindouri maang ke rang ko khoushi se apna leta hai…
Jab Aasmaan par kaale baadal chaakar garajne lagte hai
to yaha saagar bhi kajraare rang main samaa jaata hai.

Jab kabhi wahan par toufaani hawa oubharne lagta hai
to ounke machalte leher bhi bhayanak houa karte hein…
Hum inke har roup ko kabhi pehchaan nahin paaeinge
kyon ki inki gehraiyan main hi sab raaz chupa houa hai

Hum kavita premiyon main se kayi log eisse bhi to hai
jo inke kinaron par baithe baithe lehron ko, ya phir door
khitiz ko bare pyar se nihaar kar man ko behla lete hein.
Eisse logon ki kami bhi nahin jo inke jal main outar kar
apne shakti anusaar teirne main baDa mazaa lete hein...

Iss saagar main motiyon ki talaashi ke liye log bhi to hai
jo jauharon ko paane ke liye kya kouch nahin karte hein
Kaun jane kin gehraiyon tak ounhein outarnaa parta hai
aur har haalat main apne lakshya tak pahunch jaate hein...

Aakhir main eisse bhi log hein jo inki izzat karte hi nahin
Apne donon hanthon se iss main gandagi to pheinkte hein
aur Kaavya Saagar premiyon ka tiraskaar bhi kar lete hein
Kaash ki we pehchaan paate ye ehsaas kya cheez hota hai

Hum ko inke saahil ke ret ke samaan miljul kar rehna hai
Shayad isse se kavya ke leher hum par mehrban raheinge...
[/color]

I will write back to tell you about my inspiration and how I pen
down poems ...!



Jeene ke liye mujhe ek sapna dedo
Haqeekat meri jaaN liye jaa rahi hai

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Taish
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4th October 2005, 05:51 PM

wah kya likha hai karthik bhai ahcha hai loved reading it keep writing.

aur komal dd aapke bare me to tareef karne ke layak abhi tak hume hue hi nahi hain,so bas itna hi kahunga ki aap likhte rahiye.

aur danny bhaiya as usual bahut hi ahcha likha hai aapne bhi.bas yunhi likhte rahiye aap bhi.

thanks a lot rohin bhaiya for this thread,this is allowing me 2 read some gud writers fabulous posts.umeed hai ki aur bhi log isme hissa lenge.


aapka LUCKY



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Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN,
Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai...

----Taish

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ruhani
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4th October 2005, 06:28 PM

dear rohin,
well again started with a nice thread. ppl like us wud learn a lot here from others style of writing n the way their thoughts really work n force them to pen down their thoughts. well i was surprised to know tht i cud be one of those whose writings u love to read, but buddy may be i still need to learn a lot yet. may be i m not tht expressive n my thoughts sumtimes differ to wat i really need to say. neways hope to read every ones best creation ourt here n wud love to admire each n everyones thoughts here. waiting for many more to read here yet. its always pleases me to read such posts which can really motivate others to write better ahead. always loved reading many of u here. so keep going. all the best n waiting to read urs too favourite one. take care n may god bless u with his finnest glitters.
with love
urs jas



mera aashiyaan tha wahan jahan toofanon ka theekana tha,
ek naadan dil tha aur ek bedard zamana tha!
na jaane kyu ussi pal mil gaya ek dard naya,
jab kisi roz mere labon ka muskurana tha!

*****************************

Kutch bayani ho ehsaason ki…..
Kutch kahani ho jasbaaton ki….
Ek paaq bazm jahan ho sirf pyar…..
Dhoondte hain koi aisa manzar yaar….

Karein ek dooje se har koi lagaav….
Koi kare shikayat koi de sujaav
Naazim kare hifaazat-e-pyar…
Dhoondte hain koi aisa manzar yaar….

Buzurgoon ki kahawaat hai…
Fal-e-intezaar meetha hai….
Kehte hain Jas- Nal- Aman….
Thoda sa, bus thoda sa intezaar….

   
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kasak
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4th October 2005, 06:51 PM

hiiiii rohin bhaiya.......
well.....i wud say......isse zyada badiya mouka hume naayaab shayaroN ko padhNe ka aur kahin nahi milta......thanks a lotttt........
well.....ab hum apko kya bataayeiN ki kaise dard pe likha jaata hai....hum to khud seekh rahe haiN......
ab apni favourite post ki baat aati hai to maine abhi koi itni achchi shayri nahi likhi jise yahaaN paste kiya jaaye.....par phir bhi aaj tak jo bhi likha unme se mujhe ye wali sabse zyaada pasand aayi......mere dil ke ye kaafi kareeb hai.......

Ae khuda!sabhi ko jeeNe ka saleeka sikha de,
har dil ke kone me kahiN,chiraag-e-wafaa jala de,

kitNe hi dil toot gaye,par tu sada hi chup raha,
kuch aisa kar ki koi kabhi,phir kisi ko Na daga de,

un toote diloN ke dher me,kahin kuch tukde mere bhi the,
kam se kam us bewafa ko un tukdoN ka hisaab to bata de,

keh khuda apNi hawa se,ki ab to apna rukh mod le,
meri daastaaN-e-dil jaakar us bekhabar ko suna de,

wo shakhs bharam me jee raha,dil tod ke khusH baitha hai,
nahi bheegi palkeiN uski...........ab to use rula de,

uske dard me ta-umr jal-jal ke raakH hui hoon maiN,
kab tak jalaayega Mujhe,ab to is aag ko bujha de,

Gar tu hai is jahaaN me,to apne hone ka ehsaas dila,
meri roothi taqdeer ko chand khushiyon ke gehno se saja de,

Uthti hai kayi baar kasak,
[color=dark red]'KasaK'[/color]ke dil-o-zehen me bhi,
tamaam gulistaaN na sahi,par dil me ek phool to khila de........


thanx.....
KaSaK.........


~A tease in heart~

Judaa huye haiN bahut log, ek tum bhii sahii,
Ab itnii sii baat pe kyaa zindagii haraam kareiN ..
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devdasmukherjee
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4th October 2005, 07:06 PM

Aise main Jee raha Hoon teri Kami Ke Saath
Ho Koi Kaam jaise yuhi Berukhi Ke Saath

Yu do kadam chalke hi tumne badal li Raahein
Kya door Tak Chalenge ab Hum kisi ke saath

Na Jaan Paaye Log Na Tumko Khabar Hui
Toota hai mera dil Bahut Aahista-gi ke Saath

Koi Jaanwar bhi karta nahi aisa salook
karta hai jo aadmi kisi aadmi ke saath

Uski kismat ki yaaron tum bhi Dua karo
ho door tak andhere jis roshni ke saath

har lamhe lab pe rehti hai muskurahat
gham ko chupa liya hai maine hansi ke saath

Dekhte hi usko "JUBIN", nazren na hat saki
mehfil me aayi wo kuch is saadgi ke saath


kabhi kabhi mere dil me khayaal aata hai
ke zindagi teri zulfo ke narm chao me guzarne pati
to shadaab ho bhi sakti thi......
ye ranj-o-gham ki syaahi jo dil pe chaai hai
tere nazar ki shuwao.n me kho bhi sakti thi.....magar ye ho na saka
magar ye ho na saka aur ab ye aalam hai
ki tu nahi tera gham teri justajoo bhi nahi
guzar rahi hai kuch is tarah zindagi jaise
ise kisi ke sahare ki aarzoo bhi nahi
na koi raah na manzil na roshni ka suraag
bhatak rahi hai andhero me zindagi meri
inhi andheron me reh jaunga kabhi kho kar
main jaanta hu meri ham nafaz
magar yuhi
kabhi kabhi mere dil me khayaal aata hai

---not mine
   
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Parastaar
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4th October 2005, 08:19 PM

Dearest Rohin...

Tumne izzat bakshi hai...main tumpe bahut naaz karti hoon...tum un insaanon mein se ho...who are born leaders...who are shakers and movers...i saw that early on...and by providing this forum to everyone you have done us a great favour...as we can learn from good shayars and writers about their own inspiration and their techniques...

well about me...when i started here i was just an admirer...i have always been a prose writer...never thought i could pen my thoughts in a few words...but learnt slowly and it has been a challenge to gather thoughts of a lifetime and put them in a form a ghazal or a nazm...any thing triggers the thought process...it could be a comment by someone, a line from a song, even a particular word i read somewhere, and most importantly the mood i'm in...then the words form, a few scattered phrases, a sher or two...

then comes the hard part to find kaafiya and radeef...beher, i m still hopelessly inept at that...

a little suggestion to friends reading me...please edit, edit, edit, and when you find you are quite satisfied with it...edit it one more time...never post your first draft as it is...i read numerous creations but finding no finesse puts me off... the khayaal would be good, the rhyming excellent...but then typos and redundant words ruins the pleasure of reading that particular post...

i do not claim to be a good shayar...i've to learn a lot still...but here is a nazm that i feel proud to share with all...i like it because of the inherent message of hope in the words...

Ahad-e-tarab...promise of good times!

Taa umr hamein mausam-e-gul ka intezzaar raha
Aanchal mein bujha dil, ankhon mein pyaar raha

Duur tak tanhaayi mein guruub-e-sham ka alam
Maazi ki yadein, beeti ruton ka lutf-o-karam
Kudrat ke faisley, apne gunaahon ka shumaar
Taaron se huyi dosti, chandaa gham gusaar raha

Jaise khamoshi se takraa ke laut aati hai pukaar
Mere paas laut aayi meri hasraton ki *aah-o-zaar
Mere khwabhon ka daman raha yunhi chaak chaak
Bekas dil ko magar, ahad-e-wafa pe aitbaar raha

Jo tumhein na chaahe use chahte rehne ki aadat
Shiddat-e-gam ke rehte, muskuraate rehne ki aadat
*Qata-e-taalluq pe bhi na rukne ka kiya *israar
Par apna *ahad-e-tarab pe yaqin bar qaraar raha

Ab yeh umr bhar ka riyaaz khatm bhi kar do
Yeh daastan-e-ishq ka saaz dafn bhi kar do
Kyun yeh *ranjoor-e-wafa chup si gungunati ho
Ki tera ruuh-e-nagma sun na use dushwaar raha

Itni na keen khataayein, jitni saza mili thee
Zindagi na jaane kabse khamosh ho chuki thee
Par saanson ki *fitrat ‘paras,’ fitrat buri thee
Teri ik ik haar pe hansta, *kafan-bardaar raha

aah-o-zaar = wail, cry
qata-e-taalluq = abandoning, leaving
israar = obstinacy (rukne ki zid)
ahad-e-tarab = promise of good times
ranjoor = sad, aggrieved
fitrat = nature
kafan bardaar = shroud bearer


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
   
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Great attempt From the best learner
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karan q
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Great attempt From the best learner - 5th October 2005, 02:05 AM

Hi rohin...
Its an awesome thread .. just a swashbuckling responce is visible as well, you are a great tryer My dear.. & this is the best thing in you.. i m asked to Post my best poetry.. well I can't do it somehow because just a while back i was asked from very well known publisher to choose 60 poetries From mine own creation of 700 poetries..I found it impossible .. May be All of those are close to my heart .. But still I would quote some of the poetries here.. With diffrent tips



Ek shayar ke khwaab


Ek shayar ke khwaab,
mehki mehki sabaa or jist nayaab
ek shayar ke khwaab,palkon ke aadaab

sabaa--wind

ek shayar ke lafz ,khushi mahsaal
ek shayar ka bayaan,gum bemisaal
ek shayar ki soch,gunchon ka chaman
ek shayar ki duaa,pyaar or aman
ek shayar ke khwaab
subha ki si hawa,or jism-e-gulaab
ek shayar ke khwaab…tehzeeb-e-shabaab

gunche-- kaliyaan

ek shayar ka jism,kiraaye ka makaan
ek shayar ki hansi,ilm ki jubaan
ek shayar ka haansil,gungunati khamoshi
ek shayar ki sadaa,masjid ki ajaan
ek shayar ke khwaab,shirkat-e-mahtaab
doston ki duniya, or ishq be-naqaab

ilm—knowladge .. shirkat-e-maahtaab—pressence of moon

ek shayar ka safar,jaise sagar ki lahar,
ek shayar ki udaan, jaise saatwa aasmaan
ek shayar ka fermaan,jaise jannat ki dagar
ek shayar ka kayaash,jaise khushbuon ka jahaan
ek shayar ki aankhen jaise jalta chiraag
ek maqbool shaksiyat or tanhai la-jawaab

kayaash--guess

ek shayar ki pehchaan ,jaise khuda ko salaam
ek shayar ki izzat,jaise manzil ka ehtraam
ek shayar ka hosh jaise maykade me sharaab
ek shayar ka dil, anubhav ki kitaab
ek shayar ki hasrat,jist-e-nayaab
doston ki duniya or ishq be-naqaab

jist-- life

karan.q

I love this poetry because I love writing in urdu adab and 2nd thing .. It is my imagination or opnion about true writer.. I m not a painter but I tried to draw One writer in my poetry .. an ideal true writer In my eyes .. the qualities .. or aspects of a poet..
WHen you want to write on indivisuals .. Just sit and think of their each and every aspect .. Make sure .. You don't add un-nessesry words to complete the poetry .. ...just write What the poetry deserve .. if you fall short of words .. don't complete it .. But be honest for your creation.. !

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Main


Mai he to houn, jo ruk nahi sakta
Maine samander se behna seekha hai,
Mai kabhee be-ghar nahi ho sakta
Maine dilon me rehna seekha hai ,
Mai he to houn jo bujh nahi sakta
Maine suraj se jalna seekha hai ,
Mujhe koi shaks samajh nahi sakta
Maine mausam se badalna seekha hai,
Akser haar ker jeet jaane ke liye
Maine phoolon se simatna seekha hai,
Hai shai me roshan hone ke liye
Taaron se chamakna seekha hai,
Mai kabhee kaheen bhee qaid nahi
Maine khushbu se bikharna seekha hai,
Mai kabhee kaheen thahraa nahi,
Maine waqt se guzarna seekha hai,
Sab hanste hain khushi me magar
Maine gumo me hansna seekha hai
Maine raat se khaamoshi seekhi hai
Baarish se barasna seekha hai,
Maine shaan se jeena seekha hai
Maine shaan se marrna seekha hai
Mai ishq he houn bas ishq he houn
Maine ruh me utarna seekha hai,


Karan.q


This is a Natural poerty .. With a natural flow .. And One can write this kind of poetry in mood only .. You can't write these intentionally .. And best thing about natural poetries .. you can Write those In no time what so ever'
The poetry is on me? or My desired chrachter .. i can't say but this is the way i wanted to shape up my self .. So When you feel the poetry in you .. just sit .. don't do the bulk of thinking .. words will keep filling the paper .. With a great melody .. Awesome touch of satisfaction with perfaction but without making an attempt of writing something spacial .. Just natural .. non intentional ..
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Mai aaunga


faansle itne badha de ke mit na payen kabhi
Dewaaren aisee bana de ke hat na payen kabhi
Apne haathon ki lakeeron se faink de mujhko
raaste per aise chala de ke palat na payen kabhi
Phir Apne ghar me khushiyon ke shamme jala le
mujhse behtar ho koi aisa humsafar banaa le
Apne maazi* ki qafas* me dafan ker de mujhe
Jeete ji na phir meri yaad kabhi aaye tujhe
Teri aawaaz bhee sunne ko taras jaaun mai
kuch bhee aisa ker ke tujhtak vapas na aaun mai
Phir teri aankhe mere khawabon ki muntzir* na rahen
Phir tere sawaal mere jawaabon ke muntzir* na rahen
Bas teri khushi ke liye do Tuqda zindgi jee loonga
magar yaad rahe.....Ek shabnami raat ko jab ye aankhen
band hone lagengi,Zindgi ke chiraag maduum* hone lagenge

Mai aaunga....................Mai aaunga
ek baar tere darwaze per kuch armaan liye...
kaampte haathon se dastak doonga
Tu bahar aana or apne aanchal me chupana mujhko
maut se pehle apni god me sulana mujhko
Kya karoon aana bhee meri majboori hai,
Ek aashiq ki maut marrna bhee jaroori hai
Jeete ji tera saath na mile laazmi* ye nahi
laazmi hai ke marrte waqt paas ho tu mere
isske baad na he koi chaahat hai
na he mehboob mujhe tujhse koi shiqayat hai


Maine kuch roz pehle maut se ye vaada kiya hai
Khud se milne ko tere pehlu ka pata diya hai

maazi-- past ... qafas-- prison,qaid muntzir-- a one who is awaited....maduum--disappear

This poetry is spacial because This form of poetry called vasookhat' one of the best form of urdu poetry .. .. Only few has been written in last 200 years.. this poetry require one topic it is like a story on one subject with conclusion...writer can adjest the rythm .. qaafiya After 2 or 4 lines.. it can be used in story telling in poetic way ...

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Baaki ho


Sukoon jeetne per bhee pehchaan baaki ho ,
Jameen jeet le wo or aasmaan baaki ho,
Koi insaan iss kadar zindgi raayga* kare,
waqt guzar jaaye or nishaan baaki ho,

raayga-- barbaad

Ek aas hai,zindgi or khwaab ka visaal hoga
Dil jaanta hai wo lamha kitna bemisaal hoga,
Zindgi ghut ghut ker damm tode, or insaan baaki ho
Zism iss duniya se kooch kare or samaan baaki ho
koi insaan iss kadar zindgi raayga kare,
waqt guzar jaaye or nishaan baaki ho,

visaal-- meeting

palat ker dekhta waqt to kyaa nazar aata
jaane iss aadmiyat ke baad kaun sa shahar aata
aadmiyat mil na sake or jahaan baaki ho
lafz sab mit he gaye ho, jubaan baaki ho,
koi insaan iss kadar zindgi raayga na kare
waqt guzar jaaye or nishaan baaki ho,


karan.q

This is not written on love or lover's not even on dard .. Just a view towards a normal life of human's ..these sort of poetries can be written by ur own experiences or any strong opnion of yours..
ye aapka kissi ek cheez ki taraf dekhne ka mukammal nazariya ho sakta hai .. Ki aap uske baare me kya sochte hain ... when you complete your opnion on every aspect .. You can try to put those in poetries

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
To kehna


Ek shabh mere aanchal me panaah maang le,
Mere paseene se tera jism na dhul jaaye to kehna,
Ek baar apne honth mere honthon se to milaa
Teri ruh meri ruh me na ghul jaaye to kehna,

Shab--night

Tere jism ke sone me salwaton ki shirkat hai,
Bas iss ghadi zindgi zee lene ki fursat hai,
Ek baar mere aagosh me bikhar ker to dekh
Mere haath teri salwaten na suljhaayen to kehna
Ek baar apne honth mere honthon se to milaa
Teri ruh meri ruh me na ghul jaaye to kehna,

Shirkat--pressence

Ek baar mujhko kaskar baahon me jakad le
Mai houn tuqda zindgi ka, tu mujhko pakad le,
Aa iss ghadi ab dekh tu bas mujhse lipat kar,
Tere jism ka rom rom na khul jaaye to kehna
Ek baar apne honth mere honthon se to milaa
Teri ruh meri ruh me na ghul jaaye to kehna,

Saanso ko tamannaon ki germi udhaar de,
Bas ek raat sharam ka gehna utaar de,
Sard raat me tera jism na jal jaaye to kehna
Mere paseene se tera jism na dhul jaaye to kehna,

Karan.q


I wrote many romantic poetries But this one is spacial for me .. because I find The passion in it ..
while Writing romantic poetry there should be passion more then love.. these topics should be treated with lot of passion ....guts and fire.. ! Without giving any soft touch
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Roti

Jab hum, duniya bhar ke jhamelon se thak jaate hain,
usske dil ke tave per muhobbat ki rotiyaan pakaate hain,
Har baar tareef ka ghee dugna ho jaata hai,
Or usska thappad khaakar ye gaal chikna ho jaata hai,
Magar usski nazar hume dekh ker badal jaati hai
Hum usske khwaab lete hain or roti jal jaati hai.

Dil haar na maanker usse phir samjhaata hai,
Jajbaaton ko muhobbat me mila ker khichdi pakaata hai,
Iss baar ye formula fail na ho jaaye,
Issliye dil,ishq me dimaag ka tadka lagaata hai,
Beqaraari ki aanch per khichdi ke pakjane ka intzaar kerta hai,
Kaise kahoon mai tumko ye kaam dil baar baar kerta hai,
magar usske nakhron ki mirchi kabhe cum nahi hoti,
or humari pyaar chaahne ki bhookh kabhe khatam nahi hoti,
nakaamiyon ka paani pe pekar bhee ye galaa ab tak sookha hai,
roz itni mehnat ker kerke bhee ye dil, aaj tak bhookha hai,

karan.q

I like this one ... because its rare funny one from my pen .. I don't write funny stuff usully .. so this one is always spacial for me.. While writing funny poetries .. One Should not try to be common ..
try to write it with complete concontration .. seriousness .. usully one gets carried away while writing these light stuff but poetry loose the quality and effect....! so treat these poetries like your other topics and make these classy .. so one can remember for long time

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Rona

Sabka apna apna rona,
mera apna apna rona,
Insaan ki asliyat hai rona,
insaan ka her sapna hai rona
Ab bas karo ki bhar gaye samander,
Baasi maut pe kitna rona

Tum he kaho ye insaaf kahaan ka,
Mujhe samjhao usool jahaan ka
Ek hasrat ke marr jaane per,
Insaan ke marrne jitna rona
Sabka apna apna rona
Mera apna apna rona,


Jinn aankhon se sach ko dekha,
Unn aankhon ka nahi thikaana
Jinn aankhon se duniya dekhi,
Unn aankhon se itna rona,
Din me din ka jalte rehna
Shab me chaand ka qaatil hona,
Insaan ka jism se ujadna rona
Insaan ka jism me basna rona ,
Sabka apna apna rona,
Mera apna apna rona,
Insaan ki asliyat hai rona,
Insaan ka her sapna hai rona,


Karan.q

I must've wrote many simple poetries.. but i like the simplicity of this poetry .. many times when we are useing pain for our poetries.. we give to much stress on pain .. problems .. and bad experiences of life... but if you want to write simple poetry on same subject .. try to enjoy the pain .. accept the pain .. and handle with delicasy ..these sort of creation needs very light treatment .. very casul one.. but only comes wid acceptance of the reality ...!till one will not accept the pain , will keep crying for it . but when you accept it .. it becomes life for you.. something you have to live with ..

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hum


Tujhe bhool ker bhee bhula na sake hum
Ye alag baat hai ke tujhe pa na sake hum

Dilon ke beech faansle badhate rahe tum
Wo or baat hai ke duur ja na sake hum

Aaj tak kissi ne humko rote nahi dekha
Ye or baat hai ke muskura na sake hum

Ta-umr ishq ko hum mitaate he rahe
Ye or baat hai ise mita na sake hum

Hum haath jodte hain,muaafi nawaaz ker
E karz zindgi tera chuka na sake hum

Ye bhee sach hai ke hum begaane nahi thai
Sach hai tumhe apna bana na sake hum

Tallukaat humare tumse dostana rahe thai
Ye or baat hai ke haath mila na sake hum

Jara si baat cheet me ishq ki shamme jala di
Ye or baat hai ke phir bujha na sake hum

Daag-e-muhobbat kabhee dikhaya to nahi
Ye or baat hai ke ise chupa na sake hum

Karan'maluum thaa marz-e-ishq la-ilaaz hai
Ye or baat hai ke khud ko bacha na sake hum

Karan.q

This is very simple poetry .. fallowing rules of urdu poetry .. very easy to write .. With in limitations But you are offered to say something diffrent in every couplet.. To write such poetries you need to have rythm or one line in your mind... Then choose the word for qaafiyaa in same line .. and then try to design your couplets .. try to use all the qaafiyaa's(matching words) while writing this sort of poetry ..so reader gets more options .. And poetry can be edited easily..
This is the traditional form of shayri ..
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milenge


Aaj jo na mile to keh-kashaa.n per milenge
Augar jameen na mili to phir aasmaa.n pe milenge
Abr per ik duniya bani hogi tere mere liye
Augar yahaan na mile to phir uss jahaa me milegne

kehkashaan-milky way
abr-cloud

Meri kuch naraazgi khuda se bhee to hai
Mukhalif ko na batana kahaa.n kahaa.n pe milenge
Augar jamee na mili to phir aasmaa pe milenge

mukhalif-enmy

Jidhar bhee bichdenge wo jamee viraan ho jayegi
Phool khilenge hum or tum jahaa.n jahaa.n pe milenge
Augar jamee na mili to phir aasmaa pe milenge

ishq ke usloob mausamon ke mijaaj hain
hume na pooch ke hum tujhse kiss adaa se milenge

usloob-style

ek hashr ka din mukarrar hai karan'tere liye
mera kayaash ke hum kayaam-e-khuda pe milenge

Aaj jo na mile to keh-kashaa.n per milenge
Augar jameen na mili to phir aasmaa.n pe milenge


Karan.q

I love this poetry because of title.... Imagination of a lover to meet his love in any condition .. A hope .. which gives immence satisfaction...To write these poetries .. one need to feel the greatness of love .. acceptnce...enthusiasm.. and positive attitude towards life.. attitude of winner.. !

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Mujhko maikhana pila de saaqi


Mai shayar houn per sharabi nahi,Koi sharaab aise mile ke tujhe bhool jaun to pee jaunga,iss tarah jaise ke ashk peeta houn … per ye ashk nasha nahi kerte,Her ashk hai qatra muhobbat ka mujhko,Teri yaad maikhana hai,or mujhe bas peete jaana hai…..



Mujhko Maikhaana pila de saaqi
Mujhko dardon ka sila de saaqi
Apni julfon ki chaav de ke mujhe
Apni bhaahon me sula de saaqi
Mujhko maikhana pila de saaqi

Dard bardasht se bhi bahar hai
Aaj kaise bhi rulaa de saaqi
Mujhko maikhana pila de saaqi


La gira or sharaab dil pe mere
Aag seene ki bujha de saaqi
Mujhko maikhana pila de saaqi

Gir ke utth jaaun jo tere dar se
Tu mujhe phir se gira de saaqi
Mujhko maikhana pila de saaqi

Qatra qatra hai mere gum ko sukun
Mujhko tu or dawaa de saaqi
Mujhko maikhana pila de saaqi

Raat ke chalte ab sahar na ho
Jaadu kuch aisa chala de saaqi
Mujhko maikhana pila de saaqi

Fikr meri hai to phir mere liye
Mujhko marrne ki duaa de saaqi
Mujhko maikhana pila de saaqi

Karan kehta hai dosti ke liye
Jaam me zahar mila de saaqi
Mujhko maikhana pila de saaqi

Karan.q

i wrote many on sharaab .. But this one i Like most .. because of simplicity and intoxication .. when you are writing on sharaab .. try to Imagine as you are out of this world .. You are drunk .. and just enjoying the intoxication .. Every pain has became a pleasure for you.. !you enjoy no matter what you get out of life ..

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Now some which i find worth of reading many times


Dard raahat fazaa na ho jaaye


dard raahat fazaa na ho jaaye
mujhko tera gumaa na ho jaaye

mujhko teri yaad jum ke aayi hai
phir kaheen haadsaa na ho jaaye

accha kissi ka youn nahi karta
sochta houn bura na ho jaaye

mai tere saamne youn nahi aata
mujhpe tu phir fidaa na ho jaaye

ye nahi soch ker wo milta mujhe
karz dil ke adaa na ho jaaye

tujhko to rok nahi paaye hum
yaaden teri judaa na ho jaaye

dard ke jaam pilane wale mujhe
kal mere rehnuma na ho jaayen

puchta hai,wo mujhko yaad aaya ke nahi
Ashk meri jubaa na ho jaayen

baad her duaa yahi socha hai karan
Kubool meri duaa na ho jaaye
dard raahat fazaa na ho jaaye

karan.q

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

khamoshi


Aalam-e-sukoot me khamoshi he guft-gu hai
khamoshi he talab hai,khamoshi ki just-ju hai
kahoon zindgi ki nemat,ya kahoon bayaan-e-ulfat
Tere paas mai he mai houn,mere paas tu-he-tu hai
Khamoshi he talab hai.khamoshi ki just-ju hai

Aalam-e-sukoot—atmosphere of silence
Guft-gu – talking,… just-ju-- despration

Tera aks rezaa rezaa mere chehre me dhal raha hai
Mera aks aaine me teri shakl hu-ba-hu hai
Khamoshi he talab hai.khamoshi ki just-ju hai

Rezaa rezaa—drop by drop

Bazaar meri wehshat ka tere saamne khula hai
Hai kuch aashiqi bahana,kuch umr ka junoo hai
Khamoshi he talab hai.khamoshi ki just-ju hai

Wo mere saamne na baithe.n,ye hai akal ka takazaa
Wo mere saamne he baithen,ye bayaan-e-aarzoo hai
Khamoshi he talab hai.khamoshi ki just-ju hai

Takazaa--demand

Vasl-e-azal ki hiqayaten bhee hum likhte aaye lekin
Karan’ aaj saamna bhee zindgi se ru-ba-ru hai
Khamoshi he talab hai.khamoshi ki just-ju hai

Vasl-e-azal—meeting of death
Hiqayaten-- stories

Karan.q

this one i rate in my top 5

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kya karen


Tu mai or ishq behisaab …kya karen, Zindgi per husn-e-mahtaab… kya karen
Tu bhee mazroor mai bhee majroor,Tu bhee bedaar mai bhee bedaar
Ussper aashiqi mijaaj… kya karen,Tu mai or ishq behisaab ... kya Karen

Husn-e-mahtaab—beauty of moon
Mazroor—helpless…….bedaar--sleepless

Ik gaam zindgi bhee.ik meel ka safar hai,khuli aankhon se khwaab dekhna hunar hai
Shab-e-ishq zahar-e-shabaab…kya karen, tu mai or ishq behisaab …kya karen

Gaam—step

Ek magloob muntazir,tera dil mera dil,tanhaiyon ka musafir,tera dil mera dil
Ussper jawaani ka inqlaab…kya karen, tu mai or ishq behisaab …kya karen

Magloob—looser , muntazir—a one who is awaited

Wo kabhee humse jo mil bhee jaya kare,befijool baaton me he waqt zaya kare
Riwayat-e-husn per hijaab … kya karen, tu mai or ishq behisaab … kya karen

Riwayat—tradtion……… hijaab--- shyness

Hum chup rahen to bhee kaise rahen,kyun na uss naaznee.n ko pareshaa karen
Wo saamne aa gaya hai be-naqaab…kya karen, tu mai or ishq behisaab kya karen

Ab iss per na bharosa kiya jaye hai, khud he ye mera dushman bana jaaye hai
Iss kambakht dil ka ilaaz…kya karen…tu mai or ishq behisaab kya karen,

Bosa lene ko niyat machal jaaye hai,bosa le loon tabiyat machal jaaye hai
Tere labh barg-e-gulaab…kya karen…tu mai or ishq behisaab kya karen,

Bosa—kiss ………. Barg-e-gulaab—leaft of rose

Karan youn lut ke tum gaani banne lage,jaise jajbaat chasham me paani banne lage
dil hai shareeq-e-hayaat….kya karen, tu mai or ishq behisaab kya karen,

gaani—rich
chashm- eyes
hayaat-- world

Karan.q

This one i like because of The depth in each couplet*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ek aashiq ki Duaa

Mehjabeen,naazneen,touheen-e-wafaa
Teri adaaon per kissi Lamha hum hue thai fida
WO lamhe per Aaj bhee laanat qaraar karte hain
Teri zavaal-e-shab ka intezaar karte hain

zavaal--patan

Zindgi Tujhko muhobbat se pyasa rakhe
Aadmi tujhse bas wehshat ka vaasta rakhe
Do ghadi chain tujhko umr bhar naseeb na ho
Itni tanha marre ke saya bhee kareeb na ho
Makaano me rahe ghar tujhe na mil paaye
Teri barbadi ka charcha ho jidhar bhee jaaye
Qatra qatra paani aankhon se bahar aaya kare
Koi to ho jo tujhe her ghadi rulaaya kare
Tere gaalon ko bas aashkon ki zebaai* mile
Meri duaa ke mehfilon me tujhe tanhai mile
Her lamha zehan me tere maatam ka samaa ho
Saans le tu jidhar bhee wahaan zehreeli hawaa ho
Badsurati ghata banker tere chehre per aaye
Aaina augar dekhe apni surat se saham jaaye
Chaand bhee garmi me tujhe jhulsaya kare
Meri duaa ki ik pal chain tujhe na aaya kare
Dard laaye tere liye her ik khusi teri
Raat si syaah ho jaaye zindgi teri
Teri her ik tamanna nilaam ho jaaye
Tujhe her ik marasim* haraam ho jaaye

zebaai-make up...marasim--rishta

Meri naarsaa* duaaon ko asar mile khuda kare
Haath uttha ker phir karan ek laazmi duaa kare

naarsaa--unreachable

Mere mehboob ka her dard mere hisse aaye
Meri her duaa kubool hoker bas mujhe lag jaye
Mere hisse ki khushiyaan mere mehboob ko milen
Mere mehboob ka her gum lag jaaye mere gale

Karan.q

I think i should end here.. But this is one more attempt of writing vasookhat .. But i love this poetry..


Hope you must have had fun .. but few suggestions as a writer.. keep your self open for everything .. don't just write on dard only.. write on everything .. make your self avilable for every topic.. In next reply .. i may add few more poetries with diffrent color's

feelings her insaan me hoti hai .. or augar sirf feelings ko likhna he shayri ho jaaye to phir duniya ka her insaan shayar ho jaaye .. magar shayar wo huaa karte hain jo duniya ke jazbaat mukammal lafzon me likha karte hain .. there is a systam of everything ... you discribe your feelings .. it is a gud thing but if you are serious about it .. then learn more as paras said .. edit more n more.. writing your feelings ur paper is not an art of shayri .. because this is something which every one can do .. but to design those words in a melodious way ..Pain in diffrent language .. add diffrent color's and Try to get close to the perfaction .. keep learning ... because people who believe that they are trying to discribe their feelings on paper.. they can't learn .. do it in complete manner to be rated as a true poet

jazbaat kitne bhi acche kahe gaye ho .. but systam se bahar hain to koi faayda nahi .. jaise english ko aap grammer ke bina bol sakte hain .. magar kya wo ek mukammal jubaan hogi aapki baat kehne ke liye?

magar isska matlab ye nahi ki jo qaayda nahi jaante wo likhna chodh de ...
magar acche alfaaz or jazbaat ke saath .. there should be a promise of future .. promise of improvement with each and every creation .. with each and every poetry ..learn new things and apply in your next poetry .. and try to get close to the perfact by writing only.. and till you don't write poetries in right manner's they are just to read and forget .. those are not acceptable out of your friend circle.. !

for any kind of qustion one can ask more .. ..... ..

let me finish it hear only .. glad to be a part of such a nice thread

izzajat
karan.q



--------------------------------------------------------------------------


Fainsle Qayamat taq multavee ho gaye
Sach kahe na gaye to shayri ho gaye

Mai or samander,do gehre khwaab khuda ke.....

Last edited by karan q; 5th October 2005 at 02:13 AM..
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devdasmukherjee
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5th October 2005, 11:45 AM

Wo apne chehre me sau aaftaab rakhte hai,
Isi liye to wo rukh pe nakaab rakhte hai

Wo paas baithein to aati hai dilkash khushbu,
Wo apne honthon pe khilta gulab rakhte hai

Har ek wark me tum hi tum ho jaan-e-mehbooba,
Hum apne dil me kuch aisi kitab rakhte hai

Jahan-e-ishq me Sohni kahi dikhai de,
Hum apni aankh me kitne Chenab rakhte hai !

Wo apne chehre me sau aaftaab rakhte hai,
Isi liye to wo rukh pe nakaab rakhte hai!

[wark = page]


kabhi kabhi mere dil me khayaal aata hai
ke zindagi teri zulfo ke narm chao me guzarne pati
to shadaab ho bhi sakti thi......
ye ranj-o-gham ki syaahi jo dil pe chaai hai
tere nazar ki shuwao.n me kho bhi sakti thi.....magar ye ho na saka
magar ye ho na saka aur ab ye aalam hai
ki tu nahi tera gham teri justajoo bhi nahi
guzar rahi hai kuch is tarah zindagi jaise
ise kisi ke sahare ki aarzoo bhi nahi
na koi raah na manzil na roshni ka suraag
bhatak rahi hai andhero me zindagi meri
inhi andheron me reh jaunga kabhi kho kar
main jaanta hu meri ham nafaz
magar yuhi
kabhi kabhi mere dil me khayaal aata hai

---not mine
   
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Rohin
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6th October 2005, 02:53 AM

Hi Everyone,

There is a old saying in Hindi "Khud ke pair par kulhadi Marna".. Exactly..... that is what my condition is right now...some of you have requested me to share my most satisfying creations with you.... Not that i mind but would be difficult to pick... I had to almost for two days search through all the nonsense that i have written to find one which made most sense to me... Well some of my creations did find favour with many of you... i am presuming this based on ur replies... some were so good that hardly anybody replied...As a writer I would say i am glad that you liked some of my work... but as a person who writes for himself... there are creations which i will remember sheerly for it is a piece of my heart... there was some fabulous experience of co-authoring with some of you here.... Each one of which gave me a good insight into the person with whom i wrote and how their thought process works... a fascinating experience for sure...thanks everyone who took time out to write with me and share their thoughts... Well enough of lectures...now coming back to my most satisfying or favouraite posts of mine... I choose an english and a hindi poetry.... Simply because the two languages have their own feel to them...

I believe in something Thoughts unbound. So i can never follow rules nor ever rhyme things... I just let my pen or i should say my hand on the keyboard flow..lol. I try to leave them as raw as possible....and use as simple words as possible... for i believe words which are read and understood in one go make deeper impact.... and keeps the reader as bound to ur thoughts as if they were with you during the whole feeling and journey...

Let me first talk about my english poetry and the thought process around it, i remember it distinctly for a very spcial reason.. i will tell you after the poetry...So here it is...

On the canvas of my hart
I have drawn a dream,
I want you my love
To make this dream a reality
It has a place so beautiful
So heavenly, so magical
.... a sparkling sky
The moon shining bright
The smell of mohagany
The slow cool breeze
Just the place I wanna be
Not alone but with thee
Walking near the river bank
to sit on the velvet green
Staring in your ocean eyes
Hold your hand,.. and say
.....I love thee


[22nd September 2001]

I am already lost in thoughts...hehehhehe... Well reasons plenty for choosing this one...
Well initially when i started to write it used to be about either my dream gal or about other things that left an impression on me... my biggest concern at that time was if i were to read out a poetry to the love of my life what would that be... kept thinking too hard... and then just somehow it struck me like lightning... i imagined myself drawing a painting of a Person sitting with a gal near the grass next to the river and a beautiful scenic place...slowly the picture started moving and I the whole thing flashed like a movie... i got up from my dream at around 3 in the night and wrote down this poem... hoping that one day i would read it out to the gal of my dreams... and my luck or what... I used this to propose to two gals and it clicked in both cases... one for the gal of my dreams and once for the dreamgal who became a reality....lol... i am sure you are confused....I hoped so... for i ain't telling more then that...hehehehe....

Now coming to my hindi post... It was a very hard choice to pick between my hindi creations as it finally came down to just 4... and finally i decided to choose the one below...

Mera Taj Mahal

Tujhe ek ghazal nayi
Sunaana Chaahta hoon

Tujhse hai pyaar kitna
Bataana Chaahta hoon

Chaand taaron se tujhe
Sajaana Chaahta hoon

Tere liye Taj Mahal
Banaana Chaahta hoon

Duniya ki nazron se
Churaana Chaahta hoon

Tere sang har khushi
Manaana Chaahta hoon

Dil cheer teri tasveer
Dikhaana Chaahta hoon

Dhadkan mein naam tera
Sunaana Chaahta hoon

Sang tere har prem kahani
Dohraana Chaahta hoon

Teri ruuh ko apni ruuh se
Milaana Chaahta hoon


[24th May 2005]

Reasons are plenty to choose this one...Firstly it is for my love... secondly never ever ... never ever have i struggled so much to write my feelings... I bugged Paras di, Garima, Pulkit and Komal...while writing this...as i wanted to present this to my love... this was my first special gift to her... i wanted it to be perfect... I wanted to write and i could not think of words... it was like whenever i thought of her I just got lost and was at complete loss of words... then i wanted to write a ghazal for the simple reason that I wanted it to be adjujed the best... not just in her eyes but anybody who would have read it... i wanted people to think of it as bigger then Taj Mahal... I am sure you know what i am talking about...lol.... it's not that i think i am a brilliant writer.... but just that i wanted her to feel special... so that one would say to her... no one can ever love you like the way Rohin does... lol...Love makes you do a lot of things....hehehe.... I bugged Paras di to suggest something... then Garima for rhyme...Pulkit to design the page and komal for getting a second thought... damm.. i was still petrified.. and did not think it was even close to good.... i still don't think it is good at all... but i finally after so much deliberation and things finally decided to present it to her... she read it and she was so damm excited that i forgot all about what I wrote... whether it was good or not... Her smile and sparkle just changed everything.... this creation is one and may be the only one where I really really tried to bind my thoughts... Just something that love makes you do.....

i hope you enjoyed my journey in the world of Thoughts Unbound... like I said i am not a writer... i am not a poet... simply a breeze which knows not where it will flow...

--Rohin Bhargava


http://www.thoughtsunbound.com a place for my thoughts
   
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karthik
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6th October 2005, 08:43 AM

hmm rohin....grt
every one clap for rohin...
clap clap clap
it was jus amazin...
ur thoughts also flowed like a poem....
it was grt readin...
and the english poem was very good as well..
hmm 2 gals with one poem....
oyeeeeeeee 1 is enuf ok..
if u say two
i'll tell my bhabi to take care of u

take care


Karthik
Chaandni mere pyaar ki kyun uspar na rang laayi
Kyun bas kami hi meri ibaadat me usko nazar aayi
Thaa laakh bura sahi main. sacchi meri chaahat thi
Kyun meri bhaavnaon ko woh samajh nahi paayi...

Dekhna chahta hun..
Tere tasveer ko khwab banake dekhna chahta hun
Aur us khwab mein apne aap ko khona chahta hun

I envy the words, which took the form of my emotions
I love my poetry…
Which has turned the tears of pain in to the pearls of love…
   
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Taish
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6th October 2005, 06:55 PM

wah bhaiya ab to shama hi badhta jaa raha hai,kya baat hai.kitna ahcha lagta hai logon ke pasandeeda threads padh kar.

kasak,paras dd,rohin bhaiya,karan bhaiya and jubin bhai every1 had posted some gr8 writings.i wud just want to thank all of them for making this post of rohin bhaiya a gr8 1.just loved reading some gr8 writers.three cheers to rohin bhaiya hip hip hurray.thanks a lot bhaiya.


aapka LUCKY



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/

Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN,
Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai...

----Taish

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KunaaL
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6th October 2005, 07:21 PM

RohiN

Shukriya ki tumne yuN izzat bakshi ... yahaN aana shayad pehle hi ho jata par waqt aaj kal kuch mehrbaan nahi mujhpe .. tabhi bas yuN hi apni haziri darz karane aaya huN apni ..., sabhi ko padha accha laga.. kuch kehna bhi chahta huN .. jald hi aaunga aur kahuNga .. aur ek baar phir shukriya .. yahan ka nyota dene ke liye ... tumhe mera salaam....

Tumhara apna

kunal


KunaaL (Sifar).........

Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa..
Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi..
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shayri12345
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7th October 2005, 02:36 AM

Hi friends, i dont know if this is the best writing or what but this is a writing that i really like...for it has a blend of many things in it...u can see it from many angels....this is when i was almost sweet 16 so its been a while but Not that long hehe...and ...even when i am sad i read it....when ia m satisfied with things i read it....when things dont go in the right way i read it....and when people dont know the value of us i read it saying IK din hum na rahainge........but then when i read the end i feel a kind of sukun in it....thinking that we love so many people and will they remmber us tomrow? will they care we are here with them or not? will they forget us like any other person....! are we able to leave good footprints behind.....making them smile in a while...making them to learn from the mistakes, move on....and so on.......yet simple i feel this poem says a lot.......so sharing with you! and what i said is just a jist of this poem.......hoping u will like it

Meri Abhilaasha

Na hu koyi shayr me
Na hu koyi kawi
Chahti hu is kavita me
rahe sada meri chavi

Ik din jab hum nahi rahainge
duniya phir bhi chalti rahegi
Suraj Phir Niklega
Raat vaise hi dhalegi

Baharain bhi aati rahaingi
PAthjhar bhi aayaingey
sab kuch tum dekh sakoge
ik hum hi nazar na aayaingey

Kuch din shayad roye koyi
Kuch din koyi yaad karega
phir kuch aur dino ke baad
itni bhi kaun parwaah karega

Ajeeb hai duniya ka khail
Ajeeb hai iska tamasha
Jeetey kee koyi kadar nahi
Marne par har koyi aansu bahata

Nahi Chahti kisi ko dukh ho mera
Nahi chahti koyi mujhpar aansu bahaye
Bas jab bhi koyi is kavita ko padhey
Usey pal bhar ke liye meri yaad aaye

Yehi hai meri Abhilaasha!!

Luv Priya


Akhihaan milaake chan'na paavi na Judayi Vey .......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jisnu Lagey, ohi'yo jaane, Kaun Jaane peer parayi!


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Amanush...
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...!' - 18th October 2005, 04:56 PM

I have had many thoughts on what poetry means to me as the writer, and how it lends itself to the reader. I will begin by stating how I perceive writing.
We have been reading since we were small children, and our minds have been influenced by, memories, experiences, and lessons learned. (even those learned the hard way) For me, I seem to view poetry as bits and snip lets of inspiration formed by others' writings, and I might also add, emotions are evoked by instances of feeling. What I mean here, is that in a sense I carry empatia around with me.(always trying to place myself in those shoes)I am a fan of all forms of expression, and I suppose that is what is most appealing to me as a writer. To express a train of thought, in a manner that others can relate to. But, as the writer I must stay true to myself, and my feelings. If I fail to do this, writing would be insignificant.
Poetry reflects our condition. It speaks of the passions, dreams, failures, wonders, life, death, meaning, the tragic, and the glorious. It does so using the medium of words in such a way that resonates to the inner dimensions that make up our individualities. In certain ways poetry is musical because it deals with sounds as well as thoughts. Poetry is a living breathing thing. When the poet connects, his or her thoughts and inspirations become translated, transmuted and then internalized into the personal dynamic of the reader. Using this perspective poetry covers a lot of ground and lends itself to invention. Poetry, therefore, can be anything insofar as the writer uses tone, voice, sound, rhythm, and meaning to establish a premise and communicate a message
Poetry to me is both art and craft, combining music and visual art through the medium of words in order to communicate and idea or ideas to the reader. I have seen it contended on numerous occasions that poetry is about emotions. I believe that it is the writer's task to elicit emotion from the reader, but not necessarily by indulging in his own. The reader wishes to be entertained. As with performance art, the devices used should be subtle, leaving the reader with the impact of a reaction, an emotional or intellectual response to the words without immediately realising 'how it was done'.
On to the reader: I only have one goal when writing as far as the reader is concerned, to hold their attention, while enabling them to relate in terms of coherency. Sometimes I fail in doing this because there are times when hidden meanings are not clear, as they only relate to me and my life, or experiences. I tend to play on words, giving the word a double meaning, and then there is the use of metaphors. I understand that on this site there is such a wide variety of readers and writers, and connecting with all of them is impossible. But, there is always a chance for that one comment, that truly sees into the work you have created, thus making it all worthwhile.
Those who write poetry should consider the reader and how they will receive it. The writer is, after all, throwing it out there for others to read and react to. You will see, time and time again (especially on this site), how often readers stay in a group whose styles are similar to their own. Why is this so? Mainly, it has to do with commonalities of experience. The breath and depth of one's own experiences are used as markers to attract others of similar backgrounds. Hence, experience is key to what is read or written.
The relationship between reader and poet may be likened to the onion analogy. An onion is placed in the centre of a table, around which people sit looking at the onion. Everyone sees the same onion, yet each sees a different part of the whole. The poem, like the onion , should be rounded, but with different surface planes made up by the sounds of the words, the structures, the technical devices, and of course the superficial subject matter; the skin.
Peeling the onion, we know, reveals layers. Applying the analogy to the poem, we think of the subtexts and nuances of meaning. Cutting the onion longitudinally, we have one view of the construction, cut it around its equator and another aspect of the beautiful complexity unfolds. Chop it up, and an eye-stinging mush results.
Is it the duty or responsibility of the onion to reveal what is under the outer skin, or that of the observers to find out? Taking the person who places the onion upon the table as the poet, is it then up to him to explain, or even anticipate the observers' reactions and interpretation of the poem? How can he know their individual experiences and knowledge that they will bring to it? More, is it the poet's responsibility if the reader fails to look beyond his own immediate perspective? This is where I believe the essence of poetry lies. The poet should tempt the reader to explore the poem, cut , peel, sniff and taste the onion, so to speak. The reader then is in a position to discover things about himself he did not know were there, discover the multitude of dimensions within himself released by the poem. Beyond that initial offering of possibilities, the poet hands over the responsibility of interpretation to the readers.
So how does the poet do this? As a reader, I do not always wish to know, sufficient only that he has done it. As a wannabe poem maker, it is identifying a subject, a visual and experience, an idea or ideology; turning it into an image , then finding , arranging, weaving words and sounds together to convey the image and the idea as succinctly as possible. It is imperative to be able to find the image that will engage the reader so that he may see the complexities of the onion and make it sing.
I find in trying to write poetry, an art form for which assembling the tools, never mind perfecting the craft , proves that the more one learns, the more one has to learn. There are no boundaries. When I read the work of accomplished poets, it opens the doors to inner and outer worlds, via the intricacies of language, that sometimes approaches an almost ecstatic state for me. This is how I feel about writing, it makes me feel bits of life, along my own journey.

Hope that you will get something useful digging out from this potpourri…

Thanks...



Jeene ke liye mujhe ek sapna dedo
Haqeekat meri jaaN liye jaa rahi hai


Last edited by Amanush...; 18th October 2005 at 05:03 PM..
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Qasid
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20th October 2005, 08:57 AM

Rohin Bhai...

Bahut aachi thread hai sabke khayal padhe..bahut aacha laga...waise to apne kaam ko khud judge karna mushkil hi hai yeh kaam shayad aap dost jyaada behtar kar sakte hai par ek aisi nazm kabhi likhi thi jo aaj tak dil ke kareeb hai....is post par aap sab doston ki nazar kar raha hoon:

Imaan

Dekhiye phir, 'imaan' ki baat aayi hai
kabr mein dafn, mehmaan ki yaad aayi hai

*dil-e-qasr mein rehtaa tha, humnashi hokar
mujhe mitaakar, jisne yeh khaak paayi hai

palace of heart

*abr sa rehtaa tha chehra, sawaar aankhon mein
behayaahi bhi jise aab, naa raaz aayi hai

cloud

Dekhiye phir, 'imaan' ki baat aayi hai..

kaafir-e-husn hoon meri baat pe, na jaana yaaro
chot deta hoon kyon ki, chot maine khaayi hai

chod ke jaate ho chale jao, shauq se mehfil
tum pe ae yaar ghadi ilzaam, ki jo aayi hai

bahut honge tere dar par jo jaan nisaar kare
ek mein hoon, ki jisne zindagi gawaayi hai

Dekhiye phir, 'imaan' ki baat aayi hai
kabr mein dafn, mehmaan ki yaad aayi hai


-aapka apnaa



Qasid


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नाम-ए-वफ़ा की जफ़ा बताएं
क्या है ज़हन में क्या बोल जाएँ

रफ़्तार-ए-दिल अब थम सी गयी है
'क़ासिद' पर अब है टिकी निगाहें
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Rohin
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28th October 2005, 04:49 AM

Hi Everyone,

ghayal_shayar
karthik
Mushkil
Rohin
devdasmukherjee
komal5
karan q
kasak
Parastaar
mast
LuvPriya
garima

First of all thanks to all those who took time out and participated and helped me in my effort to collect your favouraite works here.

Ruhani
Saccha_Pyaar (Kunal)

thanks for you two also for coming here thou you did not share which is your favouraite writing till date... No problems i hope to see them here in future...

Well I assured you all that you all will become part of something worthwhile over here. I still assure you that, that is going to be the case

The idea for starting the thread was to encourage the flow of thoughts and also to Try and get new Idea's. Learn something from each other and share some thoughts with each other.

We all are here as a family and yet we know so little of each other. Thru this thread just wanted to introduce ourselves to each other. My effort has been to get together as many people as possible for an enriching experience. I hope it was. We are all writers and we love to write, this is a special bond by itself.

Hope this bond stays on forever.

Fevicol ka mazboot job hai tutega nahi....

A few lines in which i am trying to sum up the thinking of a writer.

Purza yeh kaagaz ka...
Kuch nahi bus Dil hai mera...
Jispe kheech lakker shabdon ki...
Meine jahan apna hai basaya...

Thanks once again and helping me in my effort....

This is a special thread... hope with more people participating we may one day be able to publish it all together as a book. What Say?

Take Care
Rohin


http://www.thoughtsunbound.com a place for my thoughts
   
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karthik
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28th October 2005, 09:57 AM

hey rohin...nice idea man...
hm may b i'll have to alter my
best poem
thanks
take care


Karthik
Chaandni mere pyaar ki kyun uspar na rang laayi
Kyun bas kami hi meri ibaadat me usko nazar aayi
Thaa laakh bura sahi main. sacchi meri chaahat thi
Kyun meri bhaavnaon ko woh samajh nahi paayi...

Dekhna chahta hun..
Tere tasveer ko khwab banake dekhna chahta hun
Aur us khwab mein apne aap ko khona chahta hun

I envy the words, which took the form of my emotions
I love my poetry…
Which has turned the tears of pain in to the pearls of love…
   
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kasak
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28th October 2005, 03:42 PM

haan yaar bhaiyaa.......kitna badiya hoga na.....magar shayad mujhe bhi apni best creation change karni hogi.....
phir bhi tab tak hum kuch aur achcha likh lenge jab tak apni book publish ho jaayegi.....hehehe....
till den....keep enjoying.......still waiting 4 others 2 participate....
luv ya,
KasaK.....


~A tease in heart~

Judaa huye haiN bahut log, ek tum bhii sahii,
Ab itnii sii baat pe kyaa zindagii haraam kareiN ..
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Manish Jaiswal
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PYAR - 15th November 2005, 09:08 PM

Tere yad dil mein salamat rhe, dil toot gaya to toot gaya, ab dil ko thamkar kya kre , jab daman tera chut gaya
   
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hi - 17th November 2005, 07:31 PM

socha kucch mein bhi likh doon khud nahi likkha hai phir bhi accha lagta hai

dosti per



"Dosti se badi koi jagir nahi hoti,
isse acchi koi tasveer nahi hoti,
ik nazuk pyar ka dhaga hai,
phir bhi isse pakki koi zanjeer nahi hoti.... n/m


SHWETA


jab yaad karte hai kisi ko
wo waqt suhana hota hai

uth jati hai kalam likhne ko
wo pyar deewana hota hai

kar deti hai haal-e-dil bayaan
wo kalaam shayraana hota hai

jab yaad karte hai kisi ko
wo waqt suhana hota hai...


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
duniya mein kitna gam hai
apna gam phir bhi kam hai
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
   
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garima
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17th November 2005, 07:38 PM

Hey bhaiya dekho lallu fir se aa gayi..

us time mai apana best choose nahi kar paayi thi isliye is baar saath laayi hoon..

so my best writing is -

abhi abhi to bachpan ne hasna sikha hai
abhi abhi to chuse ne udana sikha hai

saamne bag me lehlehaate paudhe
abhi abhi usake kali ne khilana sikha hai

Raounak laata hai huwa madmast pawan
abhi abhi to usane mehakana sikha hai

maa ki god me khel raha nanha bacha
abhi abhi to usane machalna sikha hai

badalo ki ot me khelata huwa chaand
abhi abhi chandani bikherana sikha hai

abhi aadat nahi sirf tapish sah paane ki
abhi abhi to maine chalana sikha hai

abhi khelane do mamta ke chhanw me
abhi abhi to khilkhilaana sikha hai

kaise badi ho jaaoon Mai itani jald
abhi abhi to duniya dekhana sikha hai


well technics ka to pata nahi.. mujhe nahi pata isame kitani saari galtiyaan niklengi.. but mai jab bhi ise padhati hoon.. kitana bhi boora mood kyu na ho, fir se masti aa jaaati hai aur fir naye josh ke saath apana kaam karati hoon.. isliye its my best poem jahaan tak maine likha hai

aapki lallu


Anant se bhi aage... itni si khwahish hai :)
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