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rahnuma
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budhi sawari - 24th October 2007, 09:45 PM
aaj mai apni umar se bari nazm pesh kar raha aur har padhne wale se darkhwast hai ke puri imandari ke sath apne khayalat hame bhejen.

hai ab mere bete teri zimmedari.
hai ab mere bete teri apni bari.
hui khatm kadhon ki taakat hamare
hui khatm teri ye budhi sawari.

wo ungli ke jinse tu chalna sikha tha
wo bahen jo bachpan ka jhula tera tha.
wo aakhen ke jinme teri rah thi kal
wo khwahish ke jinme teri chah thi kal.

hua khatm sab kuch magar yad rakhna
mujhe khud me hardam tu aabad rakhna.
hain apni jagah tere sab rishte nate
hai apni jagah tere yaron ki yari.
hai ab mere bete..............

kya hisab aur kya be hisabon ke kharche
mujhko bhari the teri kitabon ke kharche.
fir bhi tujhko tera har khilona dilaya
kar ke majduri tujhko likhaya padhaya.

meri kurbaniyon ka sila dena dekho nam karke jahan me dikha dena dekho.
hai khwahish meri teri aisi na bite
jaisi ke hamne hai apni guzari.
hai ab mere bete.................
   
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aarya
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25th October 2007, 04:33 AM
bahut achche vishay pe aapne likhkha hai...

thanks for sharing the thoughts...
we all need to read this and respect our elders/parents for all they have endured and done for us.
regards
aarya

khwaabo.n ke par kabhii kaTne na denaa
inke sahaaron me raahai.n rahe.ngii

lage.nge ye lejaa rahe alag raste
un raston pe bhii kai seekhai.n to ho.ngii

ye seekhai.n hameshaa sameTe rakhnaa
inhii.n se to sabko manzil milai.ngii


regards aarya
   
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sunita thakur
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26th October 2007, 09:44 AM
Rahnuma ji namaskaar.............bahut accha likha hai aapne.....aise lagta hai jaise saamne aaina rakh diya ho .....nice creation. yu hi likhtey rahiye

god bless u

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...
   
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Mayank
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26th October 2007, 11:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rahnuma View Post
aaj mai apni umar se bari nazm pesh kar raha aur har padhne wale se darkhwast hai ke puri imandari ke sath apne khayalat hame bhejen.

hai ab mere bete teri zimmedari.
hai ab mere bete teri apni bari.
hui khatm kadhon ki taakat hamare
hui khatm teri ye budhi sawari.

wo ungli ke jinse tu chalna sikha tha
wo bahen jo bachpan ka jhula tera tha.
wo aakhen ke jinme teri rah thi kal
wo khwahish ke jinme teri chah thi kal.

hua khatm sab kuch magar yad rakhna
mujhe khud me hardam tu aabad rakhna.
hain apni jagah tere sab rishte nate
hai apni jagah tere yaron ki yari.
hai ab mere bete..............

kya hisab aur kya be hisabon ke kharche
mujhko bhari the teri kitabon ke kharche.
fir bhi tujhko tera har khilona dilaya
kar ke majduri tujhko likhaya padhaya.

meri kurbaniyon ka sila dena dekho
naam karke jahan me dikha dena dekho.
hai khwahish meri teri aisi na bite
jaisi ke hamne hai apni guzari.
hai ab mere bete.................
Rehnuma jee:

aadaab arz hai!

koii lafz nahii.n hai bayaa.n karne ke liye.. aap kii yeh nazm aapke shaKhsiyat ka aainaa hai.. bohat hii gehre khayaal ko aap ne baa.ndhaa hai.. aur yeh aakhirii ke stanza, puure nazm par bhaari hai..

meri kurbaniyon ka sila dena dekho
naam karke jahan me dikha dena dekho.
 hai khwahish meri teri aisi na bite
 jaisi ke hamne hai apni guzari.

hats off! keep writing!

Mayank




Last edited by Mayank; 26th October 2007 at 11:27 AM..
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koi to ho
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26th October 2007, 09:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rahnuma View Post
aaj mai apni umar se bari nazm pesh kar raha aur har padhne wale se darkhwast hai ke puri imandari ke sath apne khayalat hame bhejen.

hai ab mere bete teri zimmedari.
hai ab mere bete teri apni bari.
hui khatm kadhon ki taakat hamare
hui khatm teri ye budhi sawari.

wo ungli ke jinse tu chalna sikha tha
wo bahen jo bachpan ka jhula tera tha.
wo aakhen ke jinme teri rah thi kal
wo khwahish ke jinme teri chah thi kal.

hua khatm sab kuch magar yad rakhna
mujhe khud me hardam tu aabad rakhna.
hain apni jagah tere sab rishte nate
hai apni jagah tere yaron ki yari.
hai ab mere bete..............

kya hisab aur kya be hisabon ke kharche
mujhko bhari the teri kitabon ke kharche.
fir bhi tujhko tera har khilona dilaya
kar ke majduri tujhko likhaya padhaya.

meri kurbaniyon ka sila dena dekho nam karke jahan me dikha dena dekho.
hai khwahish meri teri aisi na bite
jaisi ke hamne hai apni guzari.
hai ab mere bete.................


rahnuma ji aapne jo ahsasaat bayan kiye pehle to unhain mehsoos kerna aur phir alfaz main itni khoobsoorti se dhalna bohat mushkil hai khas tor per mere liye to haqeeqat main aasaan nahi bohat hi khubsurat likha hai aapne yunhi likhti rahiye

Waqt ke jisam ki kharash hoon main
apne ander se pash pash hoon main
zaaat hai aetbaar e zaaat nahin
ab to main khud bhi apne saath nahin
   
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koi to ho
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26th October 2007, 09:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rahnuma View Post
aaj mai apni umar se bari nazm pesh kar raha aur har padhne wale se darkhwast hai ke puri imandari ke sath apne khayalat hame bhejen.

hai ab mere bete teri zimmedari.
hai ab mere bete teri apni bari.
hui khatm kadhon ki taakat hamare
hui khatm teri ye budhi sawari.

wo ungli ke jinse tu chalna sikha tha
wo bahen jo bachpan ka jhula tera tha.
wo aakhen ke jinme teri rah thi kal
wo khwahish ke jinme teri chah thi kal.

hua khatm sab kuch magar yad rakhna
mujhe khud me hardam tu aabad rakhna.
hain apni jagah tere sab rishte nate
hai apni jagah tere yaron ki yari.
hai ab mere bete..............

kya hisab aur kya be hisabon ke kharche
mujhko bhari the teri kitabon ke kharche.
fir bhi tujhko tera har khilona dilaya
kar ke majduri tujhko likhaya padhaya.

meri kurbaniyon ka sila dena dekho nam karke jahan me dikha dena dekho.
hai khwahish meri teri aisi na bite
jaisi ke hamne hai apni guzari.
hai ab mere bete.................


rahnuma ji aapne jo ahsasaat bayan kiye pehle to unhain mehsoos kerna aur phir alfaz main itni khoobsoorti se dhalna bohat mushkil hai khas tor per mere liye to haqeeqat main aasaan nahi bohat hi khubsurat likha hai aapne yunhi likhti rahiye

Waqt ke jisam ki kharash hoon main
apne ander se pash pash hoon main
zaaat hai aetbaar e zaaat nahin
ab to main khud bhi apne saath nahin
   
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MahamAzmi
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2nd November 2007, 06:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by rahnuma View Post
aaj mai apni umar se bari nazm pesh kar raha aur har padhne wale se darkhwast hai ke puri imandari ke sath apne khayalat hame bhejen.

hai ab mere bete teri zimmedari.
hai ab mere bete teri apni bari.
hui khatm kadhon ki taakat hamare
hui khatm teri ye budhi sawari.

wo ungli ke jinse tu chalna sikha tha
wo bahen jo bachpan ka jhula tera tha.
wo aakhen ke jinme teri rah thi kal
wo khwahish ke jinme teri chah thi kal.

hua khatm sab kuch magar yad rakhna
mujhe khud me hardam tu aabad rakhna.
hain apni jagah tere sab rishte nate
hai apni jagah tere yaron ki yari.
hai ab mere bete..............

kya hisab aur kya be hisabon ke kharche
mujhko bhari the teri kitabon ke kharche.
fir bhi tujhko tera har khilona dilaya
kar ke majduri tujhko likhaya padhaya.

meri kurbaniyon ka sila dena dekho nam karke jahan me dikha dena dekho.
hai khwahish meri teri aisi na bite
jaisi ke hamne hai apni guzari.
hai ab mere bete.................
Jaise jaaiydaad ko varasat mein de diya jata hie

ishee tarha eik baap apnee aulaad ko apnee achaiyaan , apne gun , apne rishte naatae , apnee yaadain apni baatain , apne dukh dard , apne azeez dost ehbaab , apnee riwayatain apne jazbe apne ehsasat sabhi kuch virse mein saunp dena chahta hei

Ishee sab ko mehsus karatee ye magical nazm apki jaise rugon mein shaamil ho ke reh gayee , uff kamal kar diya is ko ap ne likhne mein hazrat ,

Ye nazm parhte hoay tasavur mein eik manzar ubhra , eik baap , boorha sa betha hei pass beta hei kursi ke pas hee uska hath thaamae aur vo bap dhere dhere , ahista ahista apne bete ko samjha raha hai , sab bata raha hei , apna aap saunp raha hai , tamaam zimaidariyaan tamaam vo kaam jo vo adhure chor ke jaa raha hei

kitna ajub ehsas hei ye h

kitni khubsoorat baat

apke hasas dilko ujaagar kartee

apke zehan ki wusat ko baavaar karatee

bauhat umda ye nazm

sada yaad rahe ge Maham ko

sach !


Dheron dilli daad haazir hei is kalam ke hazur ,

qabul kijiye hazrat

MahamAzmi
   
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maham ji
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rahnuma
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maham ji - 2nd November 2007, 08:04 PM
yahi ahsas chahiye tha mujhe maham ji kyun ki meri nazm me jo kuch hai wo maine har bude bap ki aakhon men mahsus ki hai aur is nazm par unki duayen bhi hasil hui hain maine aapko is nazm ki taraf mukhatib isi liye kiya tha ki aapko tahreer samajhna aur fir uspar apni rai dene ka ik behtareen salika aata hai warna bakhuda is nazm pe mai kisi se dad nahi chahta sirf duaayen chaheta hun aapka bahut bahut shukriya ke aapne is par hame nawaza.........waise s d c ke hamare sabhi dost hi achche sher samajhne ka hunar rakhte hain
   
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Mohammad Kashif
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2nd November 2007, 08:09 PM
Rehnuma ji kya ehsaas aur khayalaat apne pesh kiye hain dil khush ho gaya bahut hi umda raha......................dili daad hazir hai kubool ho

"Do Pal Ruka Khushio.n ka Karwan"


Dunia ke sitam ki koi perwah nahi mujhko,
wo kyoun mujhpe ungliya uthaye ja rahe hain.
Jis shaks ko janta tha ek chehre se ''kashif''
Uske kitne chehre samne laye ja rahe hain.
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rahnuma
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kasif saheb - 23rd November 2007, 10:56 PM
kasif bhai shukriya nawajish aapki
   
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talib
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24th November 2007, 03:18 PM
Rahnumaa Jee

Adaab,

Bohot hi khubsurat kalaam pesh kiyaa hai aapne. BeshaQ dil ko chune ka hunar hai aap mein... Bohot bohot shukriyaa isse hamaare saath baaNtne ka aur iss ke liye aap ko mubaarak baad bhi pesh kartaa hoon. Apna Khayaal rakhiyega. Dua go.

Ta- Gor Tumhara

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rahnuma
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talib saheb - 2nd December 2007, 08:40 PM
talib saheb hausla afzai ka shukriya
   
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musafir ek pal
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3rd December 2007, 05:01 AM
namaskaar rahnuma ji,

kaise hain aap?

bahut dino k baad aapko padna mila. aur jo padne ko mila...vah subah-allah. dard ko bahut hi bareeki se bayaan kiya hai aapne.

yuhin likte rahein aur khush rahein.

aapka dost

manish

Life is filled with goodbyes, a million goodbyes, and it hurts every time....and every time my heart dies a little...



Darkness falls on me like rain...
just
one drop at a time....
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rahnuma
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manish ji - 6th December 2007, 07:46 PM
manish ji bahut bahut shukriya aapki nawajishon ka aap jaise logon ko meri tahreer ki ek line bhi pasand aa jaye to meri tamam tahreer kamyeb hai .aap[ka dost rahnuma
   
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Dard-e-sush
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13th December 2007, 08:48 PM
Ahh...

Bahut Bahut Acha lokha hei dost......

God Bless You!
susheel

लब पे मुस्कान को लिए ऐ दोस्त, काँधों पे लाश अपनी ढोते हैं,
इस भरे शहर में हम Dard-e-Sush, जो न पाया उसे भी खोते हैं!

lab pe muskaan ko liye ae dost, kandhon pe laash apni dhote hein
is bhare sheher me ham dard-e-sush, jo na paaya use bhi khote hein
   
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rahnuma
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nawajish - 17th December 2007, 09:13 PM
bahut bahut shukriya aapki muhabbaton ka
   
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rahnuma
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14th February 2009, 10:45 PM
khushamdeed ahle adab ham fhir hazir hain
   
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