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(#361)
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Super Mod
  
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Location: Mumbai
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30th October 2005, 08:47 PM
aab bina pucha agli nazm shuru kar raha hoon
 Is nazm ki shurawaat kuch samajh nahi aa rahi to aankh band ki aur ehsaas ko lafzon ka mahdood na banaate huye aapke saamne behad saadah tareeke se pesh kar raha hoon aur umeed karta hoon ki is nazm mein aap sab yeh saadgi barkaraar rakehnge 1st sher Aapki har baat mein hoti hai jaise shaayri nazm si kuch ban gayi *Irtiqaa-e-zindagii *progression of life -aapka apnaa Qasid ___________________________________________ नाम-ए-वफ़ा की जफ़ा बताएं क्या है ज़हन में क्या बोल जाएँ रफ़्तार-ए-दिल अब थम सी गयी है 'क़ासिद' पर अब है टिकी निगाहें |
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(#362)
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Paigaam-e-Aman
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Location: Patiala, Punjab, India. Now:Pune, India
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31st October 2005, 09:06 AM
Cahlo ab to Anu bhai ne shuruwaat ki hai....magar matla mushkil hai....ise ghazal ke roop mein likhne ki aage koshish karte hain...
1st sher Aapki har baat mein hoti hai jaise shaayri nazm si kuch ban gayi *Irtiqaa-e-zindagii *progression of life ---Mast 2nd sher teri saanson ko chu meri saanson tak jo aaye.... lafz mohabaat ke vo, ban gayi hai bandagii.... **(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*)** *·.¸Paigaam -e- Aman¸.·* **(¸.·´(¸.·* *·.¸)`·.¸)** ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* inhan ankhaaon vicho kadi, tere hanju vaghe si..... aaj ki hoye, jehda ^AMAN^ da lahoo vagda ae...... AMAN RAHI |
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(#363)
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31st October 2005, 09:53 PM
1st sher
Aapki har baat mein hoti hai jaise shaayri nazm si kuch ban gayi *Irtiqaa-e-zindagii - mast 2nd sher teri saanson ko chu meri saanson tak jo aaye.... lafz mohabaat ke vo, ban gayi hai bandagii.... Aman_rahi 3rd sher gunganata rahunga anjam-e-hayat tak jinhe un harfon se hui hai jaana...ibtida-e-zindagii.. |
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(#364)
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31st October 2005, 10:07 PM
1st sher
Aapki har baat mein hoti hai jaise shaayri nazm si kuch ban gayi *Irtiqaa-e-zindagii - mast 2nd sher teri saanson ko chu meri saanson tak jo aaye.... lafz mohabaat ke vo, ban gayi hai bandagii.... Aman_rahi 3rd sher gunganata rahunga anjam-e-hayat tak jinhe un harfon se hui hai jaana...ibtida-e-zindagii.. |
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(#365)
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Sifar
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Location: Dubai, UAE
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1st November 2005, 01:23 AM
1st sher
Aapki har baat mein hoti hai jaise shaayri nazm si kuch ban gayi *Irtiqaa-e-zindagii - mast 2nd sher teri saanson ko chu meri saanson tak jo aaye.... lafz mohabaat ke vo, ban gayi hai bandagii.... Aman_rahi 3rd sher gunganata rahunga anjam-e-hayat tak jinhe un harfon se hui hai jaana...ibtida-e-zindagii.. -Unki JaaN 4th Sher Suni hai humne logoN se, guftgu apni halakat* ki.. Khayal si kuch ban gayi hai, khushi ki tishnagi**.... *Barbadi, **Aarzoo -Kunal Hai 'sifar' bhi reyazi ka hissa.. Shayrii bhi hisaab ki hogi.. |
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(#366)
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6th November 2005, 01:19 PM
Dosto...
somehow this ghazal is not going too well...i tried a few times but couldn't correct it...going by kaafiya and radeef...only Anu's and Gudiya's shers are proper... irtiqa e zindagi ibteda e zindagi besides that...the flow is going haywire...i would like to have suggestions and corrections suggested by our learned shayars...failing which I suggest we start a new ghazal with properly following the discipline in ghazal writing...and keeping in mind the flow and khayaal of the ghazal... gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho --Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan |
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(#367)
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Pieces of me!
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6th November 2005, 02:05 PM
hmmmmmm......
paras di....u r right....i tried many a times 2 add 2 this ghazal.....but cud not write..... achcha.....phir se kar dooN kya start.....?problem kya hai na....main likhna chahti hooN.....kuch sher ban bhi jate haiN par poora kalaam nahi ban paata.....yahi ek achcha platform hai.... so here comes the 1st sher...... jahaaN-e-kharaab me dil wafa ka talabgaar kyuN hai, jo na ki khataa kabhi uska gunahgaar kyuN hai....... kuch gadbad ho to bataa dijiyega......otherwise keep goin.... bye, KasaK...... Judaa huye haiN bahut log, ek tum bhii sahii, Ab itnii sii baat pe kyaa zindagii haraam kareiN .. |
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(#368)
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Paigaam-e-Aman
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Location: Patiala, Punjab, India. Now:Pune, India
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6th November 2005, 02:36 PM
Meri HB Behna.....
Anu ne radeef aur kafiya mention nahi kiya tha....is liye is ghazal mein radeef rakha hi nahi maine aur kafiya barqaar rakhne ki koshish ki..... aap kehti hain to change kar dete hain **(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*)** *·.¸Paigaam -e- Aman¸.·* **(¸.·´(¸.·* *·.¸)`·.¸)** ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* inhan ankhaaon vicho kadi, tere hanju vaghe si..... aaj ki hoye, jehda ^AMAN^ da lahoo vagda ae...... AMAN RAHI |
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(#369)
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Kisiki Talash Main...
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Location: maut jab sar dhund rahi thi main na tha
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6th November 2005, 11:37 PM
jahaaN-e-kharaab me dil wafa ka talabgaar kyuN hai,
jo na ki khataa kabhi uska gunahgaar kyuN hai....... 2nd sher talash e wafa main khoya hain har dil yaha har chehra fir tanhaiyon ka mazaar kyu hai... -deep marane kii duaaye.n kyuu.N maa.Nguu.N jiine kii tamaannaa kaun kare ye duniyaa ho yaa vo duniyaa ab Khvaahish-e-duniyaa kaun kare jo aag lagaaii thii tum ne us ko to bujhaayaa ashko.n ne jo ashko.n ke bha.Dakaaii hai us aag ko Tha.nDaa kaun kare jab kashtii saabit-o-saalib thii, saahil kii tamannaa kisako thii ab aisii shikastaa kashtii me.n saahil kii tamannaa kaun kare duniyaa ne hame.n chho.Daa ai dil, ham chho.D na de kyo.n duniyaa ko duniyaa ko samajh kar baiThe hai.n ab duniyaa duniyaa kaun kare -Moen Ahsan Jazbi |
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(#370)
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7th November 2005, 10:51 AM
kasak aur deep...zara si editing ki hai...gaur farmayiega...
1st sher... khana-kharaab dil wafa ka talabgaar kyuN hai, jo na ki khataa kabhi uska gunahgaar kyuN hai --kasak 2nd sher wafa ki talaash main khoya hai har dil yahan har chehra phir tanhaiyon ka mazaar kyun hai --deep 3rd sher lahu lahu hokar bhi pukaare janaa jaana thokar khaa kar bhi dil pe khumaar kyun hai --paras gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho --Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan |
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(#371)
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Super Mod
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Location: Mumbai
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10th November 2005, 09:11 PM
Doston...maafi ki meri kam zehen shuruaat se mehfil mein pareshani huyi..
1st sher... khana-kharaab dil wafa ka talabgaar kyuN hai, jo na ki khataa kabhi uska gunahgaar kyuN hai --kasak 2nd sher wafa ki talaash main khoya hai har dil yahan har chehra phir tanhaiyon ka mazaar kyun hai --deep 3rd sher lahu lahu hokar bhi pukaare janaa jaana thokar khaa kar bhi dil pe khumaar kyun hai --paras 4th sher aaine mein bhi naqsh ka kahi nishaan nahi zindagi pe jaane aab tak aitebaar kyun hai -mast Qasid ___________________________________________ नाम-ए-वफ़ा की जफ़ा बताएं क्या है ज़हन में क्या बोल जाएँ रफ़्तार-ए-दिल अब थम सी गयी है 'क़ासिद' पर अब है टिकी निगाहें |
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(#372)
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Location: Florida,USA
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14th November 2005, 11:33 PM
1st sher...
khana-kharaab dil wafa ka talabgaar kyuN hai, jo na ki khataa kabhi uska gunahgaar kyuN hai --kasak 2nd sher wafa ki talaash main khoya hai har dil yahan har chehra phir tanhaiyon ka mazaar kyun hai --deep 3rd sher lahu lahu hokar bhi pukaare janaa jaana thokar khaa kar bhi dil pe khumaar kyun hai --paras 4th sher aaine mein bhi naqsh ka kahi nishaan nahi zindagi pe jaane aab tak aitebaar kyun hai -mast 5th Sher Mitaa di yeh zindagi unnko bhulaane mein Phir bhi Aankhon ko unka Intzaar kyun hai --Parul |
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(#373)
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15th November 2005, 01:35 AM
1st sher...
khana-kharaab dil wafa ka talabgaar kyuN hai, jo na ki khataa kabhi uska gunahgaar kyuN hai --kasak 2nd sher wafa ki talaash main khoya hai har dil yahan har chehra phir tanhaiyon ka mazaar kyun hai --deep 3rd sher lahu lahu hokar bhi pukaare janaa jaana thokar khaa kar bhi dil pe khumaar kyun hai --paras 4th sher aaine mein bhi naqsh ka kahi nishaan nahi zindagi pe jaane aab tak aitebaar kyun hai -mast 5th Sher Mitaa di yeh zindagi unnko bhulaane mein Phir bhi Aankhon ko unka Intzaar kyun hai --Parul 6th Sher Wo na samjhenge khudara ishq ki azmat ko jaane unhe paane ko dil beqaraar kyu hai |
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(#374)
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Location: Alwar (Rajasthan)
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15th November 2005, 12:10 PM
1st sher...
khana-kharaab dil wafa ka talabgaar kyuN hai, jo na ki khataa kabhi uska gunahgaar kyuN hai --kasak 2nd sher wafa ki talaash main khoya hai har dil yahan har chehra phir tanhaiyon ka mazaar kyun hai --deep 3rd sher lahu lahu hokar bhi pukaare janaa jaana thokar khaa kar bhi dil pe khumaar kyun hai --paras 4th sher aaine mein bhi naqsh ka kahi nishaan nahi zindagi pe jaane aab tak aitebaar kyun hai -mast 5th Sher Mitaa di yeh zindagi unnko bhulaane mein Phir bhi Aankhon ko unka Intzaar kyun hai --Parul 6th Sher Wo na samjhenge khudara ishq ki azmat ko jaane unhe paane ko dil beqaraar kyu hai 7th sher dekhenge na dubara tumhe, tha dil ka fainsla.. fir bhi na jaane tera talabgaar kyun hai ----anish_ekshayar---- tum mujhe bhool bhi jao to ye haq hai tumko ! meri baat or hai maine to mohobbat kee hai !! :) anish.paliwal@gmail.com:) |
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(#375)
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to feel & to be felt...
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Location: On minds
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15th November 2005, 03:55 PM
1st sher...
khana-kharaab dil wafa ka talabgaar kyuN hai, jo na ki khataa kabhi uska gunahgaar kyuN hai --kasak 2nd sher wafa ki talaash main khoya hai har dil yahan har chehra phir tanhaiyon ka mazaar kyun hai --deep 3rd sher lahu lahu hokar bhi pukaare janaa jaana thokar khaa kar bhi dil pe khumaar kyun hai --paras 4th sher aaine mein bhi naqsh ka kahi nishaan nahi zindagi pe jaane aab tak aitebaar kyun hai -mast 5th Sher Mitaa di yeh zindagi unnko bhulaane mein Phir bhi Aankhon ko unka Intzaar kyun hai --Parul 6th Sher Wo na samjhenge khudara ishq ki azmat ko jaane unhe paane ko dil beqaraar kyu hai --gudiya 7th sher dekhenge na dubara tumhe, tha dil ka fainsla.. fir bhi na jaane tera talabgaar kyun hai ----anish_ekshayar---- 8th sher taa-umra intzaar aur khayaal me rahe humdam, fir aaj mehfil me unke saaye se dil bezaar q hai --pallavi ****** Your attitude towards life decides Life's attitude towards you... |
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(#376)
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16th November 2005, 12:56 PM
dil k her kone se mitaya tha naam tera
mgr aaj bhi har dharkan pe tera naam kyu hai gam-e-lashkar |
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(#377)
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Location: Dubai, UAE
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17th November 2005, 09:42 PM
Agar aap hazraat ki izaazat ho to mein iss baar ek agaaz karna chaahoonga.... aap sabhi membraan se guzaarish hai ke issi kism se do do sher likhne ki zehmat karein....
ummeed ki sab ummeed gayee, jine ke sab aasaar gaye, Jo log bachaane wale the woh jaan se mujhko maar gaye. bais-e-ghum-e-duniya-o-sanam yeh nabz hamari chalti thi, na jaane kal kya baat huee yeh bhi mujhko dhutkaar gaye. bais-e-ghum-e-duniya-o-sanam= due to sorrows of world & my lover. Talib. |
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(#378)
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Registered User
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17th November 2005, 09:56 PM
1st
ummeed ki sab ummeed gayee, jine ke sab aasaar gaye, Jo log bachaane wale the woh jaan se mujhko maar gaye. bais-e-ghum-e-duniya-o-sanam yeh nabz hamari chalti thi, na jaane kal kya baat huee yeh bhi mujhko dhutkaar gaye. --talib 2nd waqt ne hamari qismat mein likh din sabhi taarikhiyaan jab jab ugate suraj ki kiranon ka karke hum aitbaar gaye ashqon ko chupa rakha humne labon se ki adaakaariyan qirdaar khushi ka nibhaane ko karke har jaa shingaar gaye --paras gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho --Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan |
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(#379)
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18th November 2005, 02:03 AM
kismat me thi judaai likhi, khokar tujhe us paar gaye
raqeeb mile, samjhaya kiye,aur kooche se bezaar gaye ham kya kehte ham kya karte, tune bhi mujhko chod diya arse ki mohabbat pal me yun ham haar gaye..ham haar gaye.. |
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(#380)
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Pieces of me!
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Location: Bhopal(MP, india)
Rep Power: 25
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19th November 2005, 07:09 PM
1st
ummeed ki sab ummeed gayee, jine ke sab aasaar gaye, Jo log bachaane wale the woh jaan se mujhko maar gaye. bais-e-ghum-e-duniya-o-sanam yeh nabz hamari chalti thi, na jaane kal kya baat huee yeh bhi mujhko dhutkaar gaye. --talib 2nd waqt ne hamari qismat mein likh din sabhi taarikhiyaan jab jab ugate suraj ki kiranon ka karke hum aitbaar gaye ashqon ko chupa rakha humne labon se ki adaakaariyan qirdaar khushi ka nibhaane ko karke har jaa shingaar gaye --paras 3rd kismat me thi judaai likhi, khokar tujhe us paar gaye raqeeb mile, samjhaya kiye,aur kooche se bezaar gaye ham kya kehte ham kya karte, tune bhi mujhko chod diya arse ki mohabbat pal me yun ham haar gaye..ham haar gaye.. --gudiya 4th Wo pal bhi kitne haseeN the jo gawaah the meri mohabbat ke, un pal-do-pal ki khushiyoN me ek umr si hum guzaar gaye, kuch aisi thokar lagi hume ki waqt bhi dagaa hai de gayaa, na jaane kahaan kis kone me,wo shokh mausam-e-bahaar gaye... --KasaK shukriya..... Judaa huye haiN bahut log, ek tum bhii sahii, Ab itnii sii baat pe kyaa zindagii haraam kareiN .. |
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(#381)
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raj
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Location: dil mein khud ke..aisa nahi kisi ko mera pata nahi hai mujhe dhundhne ki had tak koi dhundhta nahi hai..un
Rep Power: 34
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21st November 2005, 05:17 PM
1st
ummeed ki sab ummeed gayee, jine ke sab aasaar gaye, Jo log bachaane wale the woh jaan se mujhko maar gaye. bais-e-ghum-e-duniya-o-sanam yeh nabz hamari chalti thi, na jaane kal kya baat huee yeh bhi mujhko dhutkaar gaye. --talib 2nd waqt ne hamari qismat mein likh din sabhi taarikhiyaan jab jab ugate suraj ki kiranon ka karke hum aitbaar gaye ashqon ko chupa rakha humne labon se ki adaakaariyan qirdaar khushi ka nibhaane ko karke har jaa shingaar gaye --paras 3rd kismat me thi judaai likhi, khokar tujhe us paar gaye raqeeb mile, samjhaya kiye,aur kooche se bezaar gaye ham kya kehte ham kya karte, tune bhi mujhko chod diya arse ki mohabbat pal me yun ham haar gaye..ham haar gaye.. --gudiya 4th Wo pal bhi kitne haseeN the jo gawaah the meri mohabbat ke, un pal-do-pal ki khushiyoN me ek umr si hum guzaar gaye, kuch aisi thokar lagi hume ki waqt bhi dagaa hai de gayaa, na jaane kahaan kis kone me,wo shokh mausam-e-bahaar gaye... --KasaK 5th hamne to saari duniyaa ko dekha tha unki hi aankho se woh they ek pal mein hi meri saari duniyaa ko ujaad gaye woh pal ab hamko dard-e-dil dete hai aksar yaarooin jo pal kabhi deke khushiyoin ke hazaar ambaar gaye --sakhi शब्दों में पिरोना है , जिससे वो हमारी यादों में महकते रहे |
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(#382)
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Registered User
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Rep Power: 20
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23rd November 2005, 10:10 AM
ham seene me chhupai firte the unki mohobat-e-aalam ko
vo ashko ke saawan de kar be-maut hi hamko mar gaye surkh labo me ghutTe rehte the unki berukhi ke hamsaaye ab to har had ki b had ho gayi..vo bewafai k bhi paar gaye.. gam-e-lashkar |
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(#383)
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Paagal Pathik
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In the heart of universe
Rep Power: 26
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29th November 2005, 06:24 PM
1st
ummeed ki sab ummeed gayee, jine ke sab aasaar gaye, Jo log bachaane wale the woh jaan se mujhko maar gaye. bais-e-ghum-e-duniya-o-sanam yeh nabz hamari chalti thi, na jaane kal kya baat huee yeh bhi mujhko dhutkaar gaye. --talib 2nd waqt ne hamari qismat mein likh din sabhi taarikhiyaan jab jab ugate suraj ki kiranon ka karke hum aitbaar gaye ashqon ko chupa rakha humne labon se ki adaakaariyan qirdaar khushi ka nibhaane ko karke har jaa shingaar gaye --paras 3rd kismat me thi judaai likhi, khokar tujhe us paar gaye raqeeb mile, samjhaya kiye,aur kooche se bezaar gaye ham kya kehte ham kya karte, tune bhi mujhko chod diya arse ki mohabbat pal me yun ham haar gaye..ham haar gaye.. --gudiya 4th Wo pal bhi kitne haseeN the jo gawaah the meri mohabbat ke, un pal-do-pal ki khushiyoN me ek umr si hum guzaar gaye, kuch aisi thokar lagi hume ki waqt bhi dagaa hai de gayaa, na jaane kahaan kis kone me,wo shokh mausam-e-bahaar gaye... --KasaK 5th hamne to saari duniyaa ko dekha tha unki hi aankho se woh they ek pal mein hi meri saari duniyaa ko ujaad gaye woh pal ab hamko dard-e-dil dete hai aksar yaarooin jo pal kabhi deke khushiyoin ke hazaar ambaar gaye --sakhi 6th ham seene me chhupai firte the unki mohobat-e-aalam ko vo ashko ke saawan de kar be-maut hi hamko mar gaye surkh labo me ghutTe rehte the unki berukhi ke hamsaaye ab to har had ki b had ho gayi..vo bewafai k bhi paar gaye.. gam-e-lashkar 7th hamne chaaha har baar na aaye ye aansoon unake saamne inako thaamana chaaha par har baar ye koshish bekaar gaye nikaalana chaaha unhe jitana apane khwaab-o-khayaalo se utana ruh-o-jaan me wo bedardi se samaate mere yaar gaye Garima Didi try to kiya hai but agar galati hui ho to sorry.. and pls meri galati bhi bata dijiyega |
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(#384)
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30th November 2005, 04:48 PM
Hi friends,
How r u all? paras di recommended me to this thread.. its really wonderful. i've tried here to complete this ghazal begun by talib ji.. i hope u like it.. please tell me if i've done mistakes. luvs, samir 1st ummeed ki sab ummeed gayee, jine ke sab aasaar gaye, Jo log bachaane wale the woh jaan se mujhko maar gaye. bais-e-ghum-e-duniya-o-sanam yeh nabz hamari chalti thi, na jaane kal kya baat huee yeh bhi mujhko dhutkaar gaye. --talib 2nd waqt ne hamari qismat mein likh din sabhi taarikhiyaan jab jab ugate suraj ki kiranon ka karke hum aitbaar gaye ashqon ko chupa rakha humne labon se ki adaakaariyan qirdaar khushi ka nibhaane ko karke har jaa shingaar gaye --paras 3rd kismat me thi judaai likhi, khokar tujhe us paar gaye raqeeb mile, samjhaya kiye,aur kooche se bezaar gaye ham kya kehte ham kya karte, tune bhi mujhko chod diya arse ki mohabbat pal me yun ham haar gaye..ham haar gaye.. --gudiya 4th Wo pal bhi kitne haseeN the jo gawaah the meri mohabbat ke, un pal-do-pal ki khushiyoN me ek umr si hum guzaar gaye, kuch aisi thokar lagi hume ki waqt bhi dagaa hai de gayaa, na jaane kahaan kis kone me,wo shokh mausam-e-bahaar gaye... --KasaK 5th hamne to saari duniyaa ko dekha tha unki hi aankho se woh they ek pal mein hi meri saari duniyaa ko ujaad gaye woh pal ab hamko dard-e-dil dete hai aksar yaarooin jo pal kabhi deke khushiyoin ke hazaar ambaar gaye --sakhi 6th ham seene me chhupai firte the unki mohobat-e-aalam ko vo ashko ke saawan de kar be-maut hi hamko mar gaye surkh labo me ghutTe rehte the unki berukhi ke hamsaaye ab to har had ki b had ho gayi..vo bewafai k bhi paar gaye.. gam-e-lashkar 7th hamne chaaha har baar na aaye ye aansoon unake saamne inako thaamana chaaha par har baar ye koshish bekaar gaye nikaalana chaaha unhe jitana apane khwaab-o-khayaalo se utana ruh-o-jaan me wo bedardi se samaate mere yaar gaye Garima 8th deewano ke dilo.N ki baat duniya ne kab jaani hai, bach gaye saare harjaai,maare sab wafadaar gaye, kyu dil ko dukhaya karte ho,gum ko humsaya karte ho, talibji jee lo khushiyo.N me,jo bhi din do char gaye.. - samir ______________________________ http://www.angelfire.com/emo2/shayri_e_dard |
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(#385)
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4th December 2005, 01:22 PM
Main aap sabko mubarakbaad dena chahti hoon...Talib ji ke khuubsurat aaghaaz ko anjaam tak pahunchane ke liye.....bus kahin kahin flow mein khaami nazar aayi lekin ek khubsurat kalaam banaya hai aap sab ne...tau dosto kya kehte hain aap...ek aur ghazal yoon hi shuroo karein...
1st Mera dil sarf-e-khizaan hai aur teri qurbat bhi nahin sar jhukaaon dar-e-yazdaan pe meri aadat bhi nahin reh reh ke yaad-e-jaana mujhse yoon aankh na ladaa dil ke be-khwaab nazarron ki mujhe chahat bhi nahin --paras sarf e khizaan = in autumn's grasp yazdaan = khuda, God gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho --Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan |
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(#386)
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6th December 2005, 12:23 PM
2nd sher
Abr-e-baharaa.n me tu na aaye aisi umeed to nahi be-rabt khwahisho ko leker me mar jaau ye gavara b nahi khilvat-e-gam ki tu saza mat dena mujhko.. baniye fireb maan kar tuje yyad karu aisi chahat b nahi.. Abr-e-bahara.n = clouds of spring be-rabt = unfulfilled khilvat-e-gam = sorrow of loniless baniye fareb = dhoka dena wala gam-e-lashkar |
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(#387)
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Kisiki Talash Main...
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6th January 2006, 01:23 AM
Mera dil sarf-e-khizaan hai aur teri qurbat bhi nahin
sar jhukaaon dar-e-yazdaan pe meri aadat bhi nahin reh reh ke yaad-e-jaana mujhse yoon aankh na ladaa dil ke be-khwaab nazarron ki mujhe chahat bhi nahin --paras Abr-e-baharaa.n me tu na aaye aisi umeed to nahi be-rabt khwahisho ko leker me mar jaau ye gavara b nahi khilvat-e-gam ki tu saza mat dena mujhko.. baniye fireb maan kar tuje yyad karu aisi chahat b nahi.. -gam-e-lashkar maut tu jaldi aa jaye! tujpar itna yaqeen nahi kuch de jaaye! zindagi se itni umeed bhi nahi ghum ke ghunt main tuje kabhi na pilaata pyaale mein ab mere khushiya bachi bhi nahi?? -deep. marane kii duaaye.n kyuu.N maa.Nguu.N jiine kii tamaannaa kaun kare ye duniyaa ho yaa vo duniyaa ab Khvaahish-e-duniyaa kaun kare jo aag lagaaii thii tum ne us ko to bujhaayaa ashko.n ne jo ashko.n ke bha.Dakaaii hai us aag ko Tha.nDaa kaun kare jab kashtii saabit-o-saalib thii, saahil kii tamannaa kisako thii ab aisii shikastaa kashtii me.n saahil kii tamannaa kaun kare duniyaa ne hame.n chho.Daa ai dil, ham chho.D na de kyo.n duniyaa ko duniyaa ko samajh kar baiThe hai.n ab duniyaa duniyaa kaun kare -Moen Ahsan Jazbi |
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(#388)
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19th February 2006, 06:49 PM
Mera dil sarf-e-khizaan hai aur teri qurbat bhi nahin
sar jhukaaon dar-e-yazdaan pe meri aadat bhi nahin reh reh ke yaad-e-jaana mujhse yoon aankh na ladaa dil ke be-khwaab nazarron ki mujhe chahat bhi nahin --paras Abr-e-baharaa.n me tu na aaye aisi umeed to nahi be-rabt khwahisho ko leker me mar jaau ye gavara b nahi khilvat-e-gam ki tu saza mat dena mujhko.. baniye fireb maan kar tuje yyad karu aisi chahat b nahi.. -gam-e-lashkar maut tu jaldi aa jaye! tujpar itna yaqeen nahi kuch de jaaye! zindagi se itni umeed bhi nahi ghum ke ghunt main tuje kabhi na pilaata pyaale mein ab mere khushiya bachi bhi nahi?? -deep. aisi behisi nahin, tuu pukaare aur main na pighaloon tuu tegh uthaaye mujhpe aur main na sar dhar doon tuu sitam dhaaye mujhpe aur main na duyaayein doon hum manaa lete tujhe magar…ab teri hasrat bhi nahin --paras *aapse guzarish hai ki aap apni kalam aazmaayiye...isse aage badhaayiye... kaafiya is chahat, hasrat, aadat, qurbat... raadeef is bhi nahin gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho --Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan |
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need main jab hon |
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(#389)
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need main jab hon -
22nd February 2006, 09:24 PM
neend main hon jab ham kaoyee aisee shayree kano main ghol de to raat chandnee ho jaye tab kaise koyee so jaye bahut hee khoobsoorat baat kah dee hai bahut nazuk bahut sakh bhee khamosh bhee aur baat kartee huyee wah wah aur bar bar wah
Anil kho gaye hain woh log ab un kee justzoo hai |
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(#390)
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22nd February 2006, 09:30 PM
Anil Sir...
aapko waah waah karne ke liye nahin aage badhaane ke liye kaha gaya thaa...aap 5th misra likheinge... Mera dil sarf-e-khizaan hai aur teri qurbat bhi nahin sar jhukaaon dar-e-yazdaan pe meri aadat bhi nahin reh reh ke yaad-e-jaana mujhse yoon aankh na ladaa dil ke be-khwaab nazarron ki mujhe chahat bhi nahin --paras Abr-e-baharaa.n me tu na aaye aisi umeed to nahi be-rabt khwahisho ko leker me mar jaau ye gavara b nahi khilvat-e-gam ki tu saza mat dena mujhko.. baniye fireb maan kar tuje yyad karu aisi chahat b nahi.. -gam-e-lashkar maut tu jaldi aa jaye! tujpar itna yaqeen nahi kuch de jaaye! zindagi se itni umeed bhi nahi ghum ke ghunt main tuje kabhi na pilaata pyaale mein ab mere khushiya bachi bhi nahi?? -deep. aisi behisi nahin, tuu pukaare aur main na pighaloon tuu tegh uthaaye mujhpe aur main na sar dhar doon tuu sitam dhaaye mujhpe aur main na duyaayein doon hum manaa lete tujhe magar…ab teri hasrat bhi nahin --paras gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho --Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan |
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bahut nahe ekah saka |
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(#391)
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bahut nahe ekah saka -
22nd February 2006, 10:01 PM
unkee kahabar nahee un kee deed bhee nahee
chand se chand milta magar eid bhee nahee khwab hai woh hayat ko hasil ho magar kaise zindgee meree raat nahee neend bhee nahee Anil kho gaye hain woh log ab un kee justzoo hai |
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(#392)
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Paagal Pathik
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2nd March 2006, 11:01 PM
Mera dil sarf-e-khizaan hai aur teri qurbat bhi nahin
sar jhukaaon dar-e-yazdaan pe meri aadat bhi nahin reh reh ke yaad-e-jaana mujhse yoon aankh na ladaa dil ke be-khwaab nazarron ki mujhe chahat bhi nahin --paras Abr-e-baharaa.n me tu na aaye aisi umeed to nahi be-rabt khwahisho ko leker me mar jaau ye gavara b nahi khilvat-e-gam ki tu saza mat dena mujhko.. baniye fireb maan kar tuje yyad karu aisi chahat b nahi.. -gam-e-lashkar maut tu jaldi aa jaye! tujpar itna yaqeen nahi kuch de jaaye! zindagi se itni umeed bhi nahi ghum ke ghunt main tuje kabhi na pilaata pyaale mein ab mere khushiya bachi bhi nahi?? -deep. aisi behisi nahin, tuu pukaare aur main na pighaloon tuu tegh uthaaye mujhpe aur main na sar dhar doon tuu sitam dhaaye mujhpe aur main na duyaayein doon hum manaa lete tujhe magar…ab teri hasrat bhi nahin --paras unkee kahabar nahee un kee deed bhee nahee chand se chand milta magar eid bhee nahee khwab hai woh hayat ko hasil ho magar kaise zindgee meree raat nahee neend bhee nahee -Anil thak gaya hoga tu bhi sitam pe sitam dhaate huye lautna hoga nahi mera bhi, bin manzil ko paaye hue mai unme se nahi jo bheekh me inayat chaahoon teri zameen pe tek doon sir ko, yeh meri fitrat bhi nahi - Garima hehehehe... so didi koi to hona chahiye.. jo flow bigaad sake... so I m here  |
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(#393)
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3rd March 2006, 06:58 AM
Zindgi Tujhse Shikayat Karu N Kaise,Tujhse Koi Umeed Ki Hi Nahi
Gila To Unse Bhi Na Kiya Tukhrane Ka, Jinse Milne Ko Thi Bahi Dard Se Nizat Milegi Is Umeed Mai Khud Kushi Ki Raah Chuni Thukraya Gaya fir se,Mout Gale Laga Le Itne Kushnsaeeb v Nahi garima mai bhi tumhare saath hoon shrdh 
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(#394)
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3rd March 2006, 08:32 AM
1st
Mera dil sarf-e-khizaan hai aur teri qurbat bhi nahin sar jhukaaon dar-e-yazdaan pe meri aadat bhi nahin reh reh ke yaad-e-jaana mujhse yoon aankh na ladaa dil ke be-khwaab nazarron ki mujhe chahat bhi nahin --paras 2nd Abr-e-baharaa.n me tu na aaye aisi umeed to nahi be-rabt khwahisho ko leker me mar jaau ye gavara b nahi khilvat-e-gam ki tu saza mat dena mujhko.. baniye fireb maan kar tuje yyad karu aisi chahat b nahi.. -gam-e-lashkar 3rd maut tu jaldi aa jaye! tujpar itna yaqeen nahi kuch de jaaye! zindagi se itni umeed bhi nahi ghum ke ghunt main tuje kabhi na pilaata pyaale mein ab mere khushiya bachi bhi nahi?? -deep. 4th aisi behisi nahin, tuu pukaare aur main na pighaloon tuu tegh uthaaye mujhpe aur main na sar dhar doon tuu sitam dhaaye mujhpe aur main na duyaayein doon hum manaa lete tujhe magar…ab teri hasrat bhi nahin --paras 5th unkee kahabar nahee un kee deed bhee nahee chand se chand milta magar eid bhee nahee khwab hai woh hayat ko hasil ho magar kaise zindgee meree raat nahee neend bhee nahee -Anil 6th thak gaya hoga tu bhi sitam pe sitam dhaate huye lautna hoga nahi mera bhi, bin manzil ko paaye hue mai unme se nahi jo bheekh me inayat chaahoon teri zameen pe tek doon sir ko, yeh meri fitrat bhi nahi - Garima 7th Zindgi Tujhse Shikayat Karu N Kaise,Tujhse Koi Umeed Ki Hi Nahi Gila To Unse Bhi Na Kiya Tukhrane Ka, Jinse Milne Ko Thi Bahi Dard Se Nizat Milegi Is Umeed Mai Khud Kushi Ki Raah Chuni Thukraya Gaya fir se,Mout Gale Laga Le Itne Kushnsaeeb v Nahi - shrdh Lol...guys we definitely need help here...someone has to fix this...anyone who'll pick up the challenge? Hamare senior shayar member??? Anyone? gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho --Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan |
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(#395)
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to feel & to be felt...
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3rd March 2006, 12:03 PM
1st
Mera dil sarf-e-khizaan hai aur teri qurbat bhi nahin sar jhukaaon dar-e-yazdaan pe meri aadat bhi nahin reh reh ke yaad-e-jaana mujhse yoon aankh na ladaa dil ke be-khwaab nazarron ki mujhe chahat bhi nahin --paras 2nd Abr-e-baharaa.n me tu na aaye aisi umeed to nahi be-rabt khwahisho ko leker me mar jaau ye gavara b nahi khilvat-e-gam ki tu saza mat dena mujhko.. baniye fireb maan kar tuje yyad karu aisi chahat b nahi.. -gam-e-lashkar 3rd maut tu jaldi aa jaye! tujpar itna yaqeen nahi kuch de jaaye! zindagi se itni umeed bhi nahi ghum ke ghunt main tuje kabhi na pilaata pyaale mein ab mere khushiya bachi bhi nahi?? -deep. 4th aisi behisi nahin, tuu pukaare aur main na pighaloon tuu tegh uthaaye mujhpe aur main na sar dhar doon tuu sitam dhaaye mujhpe aur main na duyaayein doon hum manaa lete tujhe magar…ab teri hasrat bhi nahin --paras 5th unkee kahabar nahee un kee deed bhee nahee chand se chand milta magar eid bhee nahee khwab hai woh hayat ko hasil ho magar kaise zindgee meree raat nahee neend bhee nahee -Anil 6th thak gaya hoga tu bhi sitam pe sitam dhaate huye lautna hoga nahi mera bhi, bin manzil ko paaye hue mai unme se nahi jo bheekh me inayat chaahoon teri zameen pe tek doon sir ko, yeh meri fitrat bhi nahi - Garima 7th Zindgi Tujhse Shikayat Karu N Kaise,Tujhse Koi Umeed Ki Hi Nahi Gila To Unse Bhi Na Kiya Tukhrane Ka, Jinse Milne Ko Thi Bahi Dard Se Nizat Milegi Is Umeed Mai Khud Kushi Ki Raah Chuni Thukraya Gaya fir se,Mout Gale Laga Le Itne Kushnsaeeb v Nahi - shrdh 8th Phool hi ho.n daaman me mere, aisi to kismat bhi nahi, Dabe paav kaante jo mile, aane ki unke hairat bhi nahi, Ruk ruk ke badhti rahi har dagar, guzar gaya tanha ye safar Manjile.n bhi aanchal me magar, rooh ko meri raahat bhi nahi ! ****** Your attitude towards life decides Life's attitude towards you... |
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(#396)
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Humanity
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4th March 2006, 01:26 PM
Doston,
Mehfil ko aage badhaate huwe ek nayi ghazal ki shuruaat kar raha hoon ani guruji ki instructions pe... Khayaal rakhiyega is baar ghazal ko aage badhaana hai kalaam ko nahi.... Dekhiye hum me se perfect koi bhi nahi hai... aur hum sabhi seekh rahe hain...magar kai baar kyaa hota hai ke hum apni samajh se aage badhaa dete hain gahzal yaa kalaam ko jabki humen poori tarah se technicalities ka idea nahi hota.... To yahaann humaari koshish yehi rahegi ke hum niyamon me baandhkar likhen... Maiaksh ji ki post "Technical aspects of ghazal writing" bahut acchi hai basics clear karne ke liye... picchle kalaam ko aage badhaate huwe hum sab ne acchi koshish ki, magar for bhi kaii jagah galtiyan thhin... so main specially, Paras, Talib G, Mushi bhai, Maikash ji se request karoonga ek karoonga ke yahaan jo bhi likha jaaye uspar dhyaan den aur likhne waale ko galtiyana bataayen.. takki hum behtar seekh saken... Main shuruaat karta hoon...ise aage badhaiyega... kucch galti nazar aaye to bataiyega...main sudhaar karoonga.... =========================================== Hai sab-kucch zindagi me par kucch kami si hai Rukaa rukaa sa meraa din, aur raat thhami si hi --Pulkit Gupta Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai |
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(#397)
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4th March 2006, 01:38 PM
Quote:
aankho main aasoon ki _kutch kamii sii haii .Chandsi.....  . Bada hua to kya hua jaisay paid khajoor, Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal laagen ati door. Nahaye dhoye kya bhala jo man ka mail na jaay Meen sada jal mein rahe par tan ki baas na jaay Akath Kahani Prem Ki, Kutch Kahi Na Jaye Goonge Keri Sarkara, Baithe Muskae .................................bye and tc .................. |
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(#398)
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to feel & to be felt...
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4th March 2006, 02:07 PM
1st sher
Hai sab-kucch zindagi me par kucch kami si hai Rukaa rukaa sa mera din, aur raatain thhami si hi --Pulkit Gupta -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2nd sher zindagi tum bin behad dukhii sii haii aankho main aasoon ki _kutch kamii sii haii .Chandsi..... 3rd sher Bewajeh hi Gam se naata jod le, aisi to aadat hi nahi ! Aarzu hai teri jo banke utri, aankho.n me nami si hai !! -- Pallavi ****** Your attitude towards life decides Life's attitude towards you... |
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(#399)
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4th March 2006, 03:51 PM
Quote:
jahan bhi galat hoon plz bata degain .............. . . Bada hua to kya hua jaisay paid khajoor, Panthi ko chhaya nahin, phal laagen ati door. Nahaye dhoye kya bhala jo man ka mail na jaay Meen sada jal mein rahe par tan ki baas na jaay Akath Kahani Prem Ki, Kutch Kahi Na Jaye Goonge Keri Sarkara, Baithe Muskae .................................bye and tc .................. |
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(#400)
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4th March 2006, 06:35 PM
1st
Hai sab-kucch zindagi me par kucch kami si hai Rukaa rukaa sa mera din, aur raat thhami si hi --Pulkit Gupta 2nd sher qismat se yahan ae dost kaun jeet paya hai lakeeron ne ki mujhse kuchh dillagi si hai -Chandsi 3rd sher Bewajeh gham ko paalein aisi to aadat nahi aarzoo teri jo utari, aankhon mein nami si hai -- Pallavi pls continue... gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho --Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan |
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