joke of the day!

[Mayank]

The Perfect Husband...

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function andbegan to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005

models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "£70,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." * *

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £950,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"* *

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....

He smiles and asks:


"Anyone knows who this phone belongs to?" *

[kuhulika]

Originally Posted by Mayank

The Perfect Husband...

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function andbegan to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005

models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "£70,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." * *

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £950,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"* *

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....

He smiles and asks:


"Anyone knows who this phone belongs to?" *

waah kya baat hai.... sacch mein MAN aise hi hota hai......

khikhikhikhikhikhikhikhi

tc ji

[LAMHA]

Originally Posted by Mayank

The Perfect Husband...

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function andbegan to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005

models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "£70,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." * *

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £950,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"* *

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....

He smiles and asks:


"Anyone knows who this phone belongs to?" *

hahhahahahahhhhahahh

GOOD ONE ..................

[aarya]

good one...

regards
aarya

[Mayank]

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot
after shot.

The Indian man said to the American,"You know my parents are forcing

me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I

haven't even met once.We call this arranged marriage.I don't want to

marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a

hell lot of family problems."

The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my

story.

I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.

"After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter

and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's

father-in-law.

My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother

and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son.

Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson.

Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems..Gimme a break!!!!"

[kuhulika]

Originally Posted by Mayank

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot
after shot.

The Indian man said to the American,"You know my parents are forcing

me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I

haven't even met once.We call this arranged marriage.I don't want to

marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a

hell lot of family problems."

The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my

story.

I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.

"After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter

and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's

father-in-law.

My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother

and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son.

Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson.

Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems..Gimme a break!!!!"

khikhikhikhikhikhikhikhi
no comments


tc ji

[LAMHA]

Originally Posted by Mayank

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot
after shot.

The Indian man said to the American,"You know my parents are forcing

me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I

haven't even met once.We call this arranged marriage.I don't want to

marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a

hell lot of family problems."

The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my

story.

I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.

"After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter

and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's

father-in-law.

My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother

and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son.

Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson.

Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems..Gimme a break!!!!"

OHHHHHHHHHH MAN,
COOOOOOOOOOL ONE

[Mayank]

thanks lamha & shweta for replying

[Mayank]

A sardarji goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer
starts with the basics. "So, Mr, can you tell us your age, please?"

The sardarji counts carefully on his fingers for half a minute before
replying. "Um ... 22."
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.
"And can you tell us your height, please?"

The sardarji stands up and produces a measuring tape from his handbag.. he then traps one end under his foot and extends the tape to the top of his head. he checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!"

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the he won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"

The sardarji bobs his head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to himself, before replying,
"Gurpreet!"

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks,
"What were you doing when I asked you your name?"

"Oh, that!" replies the sardarji," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...Happy Birthday dear Gurpreet...happy birthday to you...'.

[kuhulika]

Originally Posted by Mayank

A sardarji goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer
starts with the basics. "So, Mr, can you tell us your age, please?"

The sardarji counts carefully on his fingers for half a minute before
replying. "Um ... 22."
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.
"And can you tell us your height, please?"

The sardarji stands up and produces a measuring tape from his handbag.. he then traps one end under his foot and extends the tape to the top of his head. he checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!"

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the he won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"

The sardarji bobs his head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to himself, before replying,
"Gurpreet!"

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks,
"What were you doing when I asked you your name?"

"Oh, that!" replies the sardarji," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...Happy Birthday dear Gurpreet...happy birthday to you...'.

aaj subah se mood kharaab tha apke is joke se mere face per vaddi vali SMILE aa gayi

THANK U
VADDA WALA

[kuhulika]

एक गांव में एक स्त्री थी । उसके पती आई टी आई मे कार्यरत थे । वह आपने पती को पत्र लिखना चाहती थी पर अल्पशिक्षित होने के कारण उसे यह पता नहीं था कि पूर्णविराम कहां लगेगा । इसीलिये उसका जहां मन करता था वहीं पुर्णविराम लगा देती थी ।
उसने चिट्टी इस प्रकार लिखी--------

मेरे प्यारे जीवनसाथी मेरा प्रणाम आपके चरणो मे । आप ने अभी तक चिट्टी नहीं लिखी मेरी सहेली कॊ । नोकरी मिल गयी है हमारी गाय को । बछडा दिया है दादाजी ने । शराब की लत लगा ली है मैने । तुमको बहुत खत लिखे पर तुम नहीं आये कुत्ते के बच्चे । भेडीया खा गया दो महीने का राशन । छुट्टी पर आते समय ले आना एक खुबसुरत औरत । मेरी सहेली बन गई है । और इस समय टीवी पर गाना गा रही है हमारी बकरी । बेच दी गयी है तुम्हारी मां । तुमको बहुत याद कर रही है एक पडोसन । हमें बहुत तंग करती है तुम्हारी बहन । सिर दर्द मे लेटी है तुम्हरी पत्नी

[pooja_d]

MAIN HINDI ME POST KARU TO CHALEGA?

TO SUNNIYE........

EK BAAR KYA HUA KE TWEETY HAVAA ME UDD RAHI THHI.......

SAMNE SE EK CAR AA RAHI THHI BADI TEZZZZZ

FIR KYA HUA KE TWEETY CAR SE TAKRAAI AUR BEHOSH HO GAI......

CAR ME BETTHE LOGO NE USE UTTHAYA AUR SAATH LE GAYE.....

USKO EK PINJRE ME RAKH DIYA.....

TWEETY HOSH ME AAI TO CHONK KAR BOLI.......

''AAI LAAAAAAA JAILLLLLLLL..........VO CAR KA DRIVER MAR GAYA KYA''

[pooja_d]

Originally Posted by kuhulika

एक गांव में एक स्त्री थी । उसके पती आई टी आई मे कार्यरत थे । वह आपने पती को पत्र लिखना चाहती थी पर अल्पशिक्षित होने के कारण उसे यह पता नहीं था कि पूर्णविराम कहां लगेगा । इसीलिये उसका जहां मन करता था वहीं पुर्णविराम लगा देती थी ।
उसने चिट्टी इस प्रकार लिखी--------

मेरे प्यारे जीवनसाथी मेरा प्रणाम आपके चरणो मे । आप ने अभी तक चिट्टी नहीं लिखी मेरी सहेली कॊ । नोकरी मिल गयी है हमारी गाय को । बछडा दिया है दादाजी ने । शराब की लत लगा ली है मैने । तुमको बहुत खत लिखे पर तुम नहीं आये कुत्ते के बच्चे । भेडीया खा गया दो महीने का राशन । छुट्टी पर आते समय ले आना एक खुबसुरत औरत । मेरी सहेली बन गई है । और इस समय टीवी पर गाना गा रही है हमारी बकरी । बेच दी गयी है तुम्हारी मां । तुमको बहुत याद कर रही है एक पडोसन । हमें बहुत तंग करती है तुम्हारी बहन । सिर दर्द मे लेटी है तुम्हरी पत्नी

MERA HANS HANS KE BURA HAAL HUA SIS........KYA LIKHA HAI...MAST EK DAM..JHAKKAAAS YAAR.......HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA

[kuhulika]

Originally Posted by pooja_d

MERA HANS HANS KE BURA HAAL HUA SIS........KYA LIKHA HAI...MAST EK DAM..JHAKKAAAS YAAR.......HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA

OFFLINE mein kyun ho bey!

[pooja_d]

Originally Posted by kuhulika

OFFLINE mein kyun ho bey!

upar se order hai sis

[kuhulika]

Originally Posted by pooja_d

upar se order hai sis

UPPER KAHAN SE

[pooja_d]

upar bole to upar se.....abhi confused na hue sis.....

[koi to ho]

Originally Posted by pooja_d

MAIN HINDI ME POST KARU TO CHALEGA?

TO SUNNIYE........

EK BAAR KYA HUA KE TWEETY HAVAA ME UDD RAHI THHI.......

SAMNE SE EK CAR AA RAHI THHI BADI TEZZZZZ

FIR KYA HUA KE TWEETY CAR SE TAKRAAI AUR BEHOSH HO GAI......

CAR ME BETTHE LOGO NE USE UTTHAYA AUR SAATH LE GAYE.....

USKO EK PINJRE ME RAKH DIYA.....

TWEETY HOSH ME AAI TO CHONK KAR BOLI.......

''AAI LAAAAAAA JAILLLLLLLL..........VO CAR KA DRIVER MAR GAYA KYA''

wrong wrong wrong wo tweety nahi parrot tha

[pooja_d]

Originally Posted by koi to ho

wrong wrong wrong wo tweety nahi parrot tha

ok.....lekin maine to tweety hi likha na........to use hi parrot samjho

[LAMHA]

Originally Posted by kuhulika

एक गांव में एक स्त्री थी । उसके पती आई टी आई मे कार्यरत थे । वह आपने पती को पत्र लिखना चाहती थी पर अल्पशिक्षित होने के कारण उसे यह पता नहीं था कि पूर्णविराम कहां लगेगा । इसीलिये उसका जहां मन करता था वहीं पुर्णविराम लगा देती थी ।
उसने चिट्टी इस प्रकार लिखी--------

मेरे प्यारे जीवनसाथी मेरा प्रणाम आपके चरणो मे । आप ने अभी तक चिट्टी नहीं लिखी मेरी सहेली कॊ । नोकरी मिल गयी है हमारी गाय को । बछडा दिया है दादाजी ने । शराब की लत लगा ली है मैने । तुमको बहुत खत लिखे पर तुम नहीं आये कुत्ते के बच्चे । भेडीया खा गया दो महीने का राशन । छुट्टी पर आते समय ले आना एक खुबसुरत औरत । मेरी सहेली बन गई है । और इस समय टीवी पर गाना गा रही है हमारी बकरी । बेच दी गयी है तुम्हारी मां । तुमको बहुत याद कर रही है एक पडोसन । हमें बहुत तंग करती है तुम्हारी बहन । सिर दर्द मे लेटी है तुम्हरी पत्नी

Kya joke likha hai...........yaar...has has ke pet me dard ho gaya.........cooooooool....

gr8 job.................dear,

[krenil]

boy and girl in restaurant
boy: i love you
Girl: i don't love you
boy: think again
girl: i tell you no & no
boy: waiter bring seprate bills
girl: ok ok i love you too

[LAMHA]

Originally Posted by krenil

boy and girl in restaurant
boy: i love you
Girl: i don't love you
boy: think again
girl: i tell you no & no
boy: waiter bring seprate bills
girl: ok ok i love you too

nice one................

par aap ka matlab kya hai..........aap kehna kya chahte ho.........hum ladkiya aisi nahi hoti ...ok..

[krenil]

hi lamha mere kahena ka matlab aisa nahi tha e to sirf joke ttha
ok

[LAMHA]

Originally Posted by krenil

hi lamha mere kahena ka matlab aisa nahi tha e to sirf joke ttha
ok

hey...........
dont worry yaar..........i was just kidding.........relax dude...

[kuhulika]

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his

room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and

without realizing

his error, he sent the e-mail.


Meanwhile... .Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned

from her

husband's funeral.

The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence

messages from

relatives and friends.


After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's

son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the

computer screen which read:



To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Reached


Date: 17 oct 2006


I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have


computers

here, and we


are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.


I've just reached and have been checked in.



I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival


tommorow.

[krenil]

wah kuhulika bahut maza aa gaya kya khub likha hai bas yu hi likhti raho taki hame padhke achha lage

[Mayank]

Chor 1 ghar me chori karne gaya,
Tijori par likha tha

" TIJORI KO TODNE KI JARURAT NAHI,

452 No. LAGAO AUR SAMNE WALA LAAL BUTTON DABAO,

TIJORI KHUL JAYEGI "

Jaise hi button dabaya alarm baja aur police aayi.

Jate waqt chor seth se bola

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"AAJ MERA INSANIYAT SE VISHWAS UTH GAYA "!!!!

[yash chawla]

hehe he ,,ye chor ke liye

Originally Posted by Mayank

Chor 1 ghar me chori karne gaya,
Tijori par likha tha

" TIJORI KO TODNE KI JARURAT NAHI,

452 No. LAGAO AUR SAMNE WALA LAAL BUTTON DABAO,

TIJORI KHUL JAYEGI "

Jaise hi button dabaya alarm baja aur police aayi.

Jate waqt chor seth se bola

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"AAJ MERA INSANIYAT SE VISHWAS UTH GAYA "!!!!

[Janlywa]

Tumhara Naam likh likh ker Mitana bhool jata hoon.
Tumhein jab Yaad karta hoon, Bhulana bhool jata hoon.
Boht si aisi Baatein hain jo Mere Dil mai rehti hain.
Magar jab Tum se milta hoon, Sunana bhool jata hoon.
Tumhare baad ab her Pal bari Mushkil se Kat-ta hai.
Mai aksar Tum ko Khuwabon mai, Batana bhool jata hoon.
Mai her Shaam kehta hoon Tum ko bhool jaoonga.
Magar jab Subah hoti hai, Iraada bhool jata hoon.

[Mayank]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The busdriver says, "That's the ugliest baby I`ve ever seen!" The lady is angry, slams her money down and takes a seat. The man next to her says, "Hey lady, what's wrong?" and she says, "The bus driver just insulted me!!"

The man is sympathetic and says, "He can't do that. We pay his salary!" The lady agrees. "You're right," she says, "I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That`s a good idea" the man says. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

[Mujeeb]

RAM LAL BHAGWAAN SE : Mujhy dard dey , mujhy dukh , day , mera sukoon cheen lay

mery peechy kutty pad jaaien


mujhy pagal ker day


Bhaghwan : abbey saly aik line main kiyon nhi kehta tujhy Biwi chahiye

[sunita thakur]

Originally Posted by Mayank

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The busdriver says, "That's the ugliest baby I`ve ever seen!" The lady is angry, slams her money down and takes a seat. The man next to her says, "Hey lady, what's wrong?" and she says, "The bus driver just insulted me!!"

The man is sympathetic and says, "He can't do that. We pay his salary!" The lady agrees. "You're right," she says, "I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That`s a good idea" the man says. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

hahaha
bahut khoob.............

[sunita thakur]

Originally Posted by eyesflicker

RAM LAL BHAGWAAN SE : Mujhy dard dey , mujhy dukh , day , mera sukoon cheen lay

mery peechy kutty pad jaaien


mujhy pagal ker day


Bhaghwan : abbey saly aik line main kiyon nhi kehta tujhy Biwi chahiye

mujeeb bhaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii................kaya kahna chahtey haiN aap.....

yaad rakhna, aapka yeh joke main save karke rakhuNgi, jab aap shaddi karne ja rahe hoNge na, tab aapki dulhan ko batauNgi aapke nek vichaar.....

vaise agar joke hi samjuN....to behad accha laga

[yash chawla]

HA HA HA HA

Originally Posted by eyesflicker

RAM LAL BHAGWAAN SE : Mujhy dard dey , mujhy dukh , day , mera sukoon cheen lay

mery peechy kutty pad jaaien


mujhy pagal ker day


Bhaghwan : abbey saly aik line main kiyon nhi kehta tujhy Biwi chahiye

[Mujeeb]

Mud Gorging .....
Lest of buck .....
Bay God gless Bu........
ave a dice nay

cake tare !
Soli yaar !

Laat ko zyada pee lee ssissliye ispeling ficstek ho rahi hai

MON'T DINE !!!

[dineshdharvi]

Ant : Haathi tumhari umar kitni hai?
Elephant: Paanch Saal !!!


Ant : Paanch Saal aur itnay bade !!!
Elephant: I AM A COMPLAN BOY .


Elephant: Cheetti tumhari umar kitni hai ?
Ant: Tees Saal.


Elephant: Tees Saal aur itni chhoti.

;


Ant: Haan ....
I AM A SANTOOR GIRL.... MERI TWACHA SEY MERI UMAR KA PATA HI NAHI CHALTA !

[Mujeeb]

Do u Know jab Toty to kiya Awaz ati hai ?

Duzh ?????

No..

Dhoooz???????

no .....

Thish .????


Nahi bhai

Ammi ki awaz aati hai lakh laanat . fer ek pann ditta ...

[Mujeeb]

aik Molvi sahab k paas tota(Parrott) tha who roz aik shaks ko kehta tha "oye beghairta(shameless)

aik din us shaks ne gusy mein aa ker Molvie sahab se shikayat ker de, Molvie sahab ne toty ko danta

agaly din jab who shaks kareeb se guzera to toty ne bilkul kuch nhi kaha .who shaks thoda agay gya or mud ker toty ki taraf dekha

tota hansty howy bola
"smajh te gya honeynga "...

[muKhlis]

hahaha hahaha hahaha ab ayega maza fone ka hahaha hahaha hahaha

ummid he k mil gaya hoga sabaq mohtaramah ko hehehe

[koi to ho]

Originally Posted by eyesflicker

Do u Know jab Toty to kiya Awaz ati hai ?

Duzh ?????

No..

Dhoooz???????

no .....

Thish .????


Nahi bhai

Ammi ki awaz aati hai lakh laanat . fer ek pann ditta ...

Hahahaha too goodd