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~..dard kyuN ab davaa nahi hota
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janumanu
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~..dard kyuN ab davaa nahi hota - 23rd September 2010, 02:30 PM

Zidd bhayee ke anusaar mujhe teen ghazleN same behr mai likhni si , yo ye meri last ghazal hai, aapne do jhel li, mujhe is bat ki badi khushi hai
bas ye akhri

--------------------------------------



dard kyuN ab davaa nahi hota
zakhm bhi to haraa nahi hota

tifl* nikle na ghar se jab tak
apne pairoN khadaa nahi hota

*child

kya zaroori tujhe bhulana hai
yaad rakhna *bajaH nahi hota

*right, correct...

aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota

apne bholeN ki gair dhokha deN
kuch bhi ho ab gila nahi hota

chaaj peeta na foonk kar yaro
doodh ka jo jala nahi hota

barkatoN se navaaj isko " fikr "
gham jamaa* hai ghata* nahi hota

jamaa + ghataa -
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Rashmi sharma
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23rd September 2010, 02:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by janumanu View Post
Zidd bhayee ke anusaar mujhe teen ghazleN same behr mai likhni si , yo ye meri last ghazal hai, aapne do jhel li, mujhe is bat ki badi khushi hai
bas ye akhri

--------------------------------------



dard kyuN ab davaa nahi hota
zakhm bhi to haraa nahi hota





kya zaroori tujhe bhulana hai
yaad rakhna *bajaH nahi hota

*bajah kaaran

aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota

apne bholeN ki gair dhokha deN
kuch bhi ho ab gila nahi hota

chaaj* peeta na foonk kar yaro
doodh ka jo jala nahi hota

*chhachh lassi
vikas ji aapke ye share mujhe vehad achhe lage gustakhi muaf maine indicated words ka meaning apne tariike se liya.


Rashmi Sharma
path par kaante bahut hain tere
par manjil par jaana too.ne
dar na jatilata se jeewan ki
isko saral banana too.ne
pasat na hone paye honsle
khud ka sahas khud hi juta le
   
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janumanu
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janumanu is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comjanumanu is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comjanumanu is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comjanumanu is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comjanumanu is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comjanumanu is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comjanumanu is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comjanumanu is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comjanumanu is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comjanumanu is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comjanumanu is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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23rd September 2010, 02:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rashmi sharma View Post
vikas ji aapke ye share mujhe vehad achhe lage gustakhi muaf maine indicated words ka meaning apne tariike se liya.
thanx for your comment , and praise ....

well mera bhi chaaj se matlab lassi hai ... isme koe gustaakhi nahi ki aapne

lekin wajah ka matlab aap karan lengi to... sher ka matlab hi badal jayega, ya iski koe sense hi na rahe..
but ye to aappe nirbhar haia ap kis tarah padhy ya samjhe

mera kaam likhne ka tha....
padhne wala apne tareeke se padhne ko azaad hai
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Kavita Negi
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23rd September 2010, 02:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by janumanu View Post
Zidd bhayee ke anusaar mujhe teen ghazleN same behr mai likhni si , yo ye meri last ghazal hai, aapne do jhel li, mujhe is bat ki badi khushi hai
bas ye akhri

--------------------------------------



dard kyuN ab davaa nahi hota
zakhm bhi to haraa nahi hota

tifl* nikle na ghar se jab tak
apne pairoN khadaa nahi hota

*child

kya zaroori tujhe bhulana hai
yaad rakhna *bajaH nahi hota

*right, correct...

aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota

apne bholeN ki gair dhokha deN
kuch bhi ho ab gila nahi hota

chaaj peeta na foonk kar yaro
doodh ka jo jala nahi hota

barkatoN se navaaj isko " fikr "
gham jamaa* hai ghata* nahi hota

jamaa + ghataa -
vikas ji,
Bahut hi badhiya likha hai...........
aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota
Bahut khoob ... kya baat hai.... jhel li maine bhi kisi trah... mjaak kar rahi hu...... Bhot acha likha hai... aise hi likhte rahiye......!!!! dil se daad hazir hai.....!!!!!


KAVITA NEGI

Hame ehbab ki lambi qataron sy nahi matlab..........!!
Jo dil sy hamara ho hame wo ik shaksh kaafi he......!!
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loveleen
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23rd September 2010, 03:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by janumanu View Post
Zidd bhayee ke anusaar mujhe teen ghazleN same behr mai likhni si , yo ye meri last ghazal hai, aapne do jhel li, mujhe is bat ki badi khushi hai
bas ye akhri

--------------------------------------



dard kyuN ab davaa nahi hota
zakhm bhi to haraa nahi hota

tifl* nikle na ghar se jab tak
apne pairoN khadaa nahi hota

*child

kya zaroori tujhe bhulana hai
yaad rakhna *bajaH nahi hota

*right, correct...

aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota

apne bholeN ki gair dhokha deN
kuch bhi ho ab gila nahi hota

chaaj peeta na foonk kar yaro
doodh ka jo jala nahi hota

barkatoN se navaaj isko " fikr "
gham jamaa* hai ghata* nahi hota

jamaa + ghataa -
vikas ji achhi rahi aapki ye rachna bhi aise hi likhte rahie.......................................
   
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zidd
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23rd September 2010, 04:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by janumanu View Post
Zidd bhayee ke anusaar mujhe teen ghazleN same behr mai likhni si , yo ye meri last ghazal hai, aapne do jhel li, mujhe is bat ki badi khushi hai
bas ye akhri

--------------------------------------



dard kyuN ab davaa nahi hota
zakhm bhi to haraa nahi hota

tifl* nikle na ghar se jab tak
apne pairoN khadaa nahi hota

*child

kya zaroori tujhe bhulana hai
yaad rakhna *bajaH nahi hota

*right, correct...

aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota

apne bholeN ki gair dhokha deN
kuch bhi ho ab gila nahi hota

chaaj peeta na foonk kar yaro
doodh ka jo jala nahi hota

barkatoN se navaaj isko " fikr "
gham jamaa* hai ghata* nahi hota

jamaa + ghataa -
vikasji aapka metrical attempt perfect hai....

maine magar lafz 'chaach' suna hai (maTThe ke liye)...buttermilk ke liye....kisi area me chaaj kahte ho to pata nahi......

apke maqte ka misre e sani atpaTa laga.....magar beher me hai.....

aapse ab request hai ki kisi lambe meter par seedhe na jaayen aap...
ek suggestion dene ki liberty le raha hu ...aap ab is meter me aaiye

2122 / 2122 / 212
"dil ke armaa aauuoo me bah gaye"
isse aur ek faida ye ke teen dusre meter aapko apne aap aa jayenge....

ek baar phir taliya.....tad tad tad tad tad

aur is misre ke liye ek hazaar daad
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota

regards

Last edited by zidd; 23rd September 2010 at 04:07 PM..
   
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ISHK EK IBADAT
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Love 23rd September 2010, 05:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by janumanu View Post
Zidd bhayee ke anusaar mujhe teen ghazleN same behr mai likhni si , yo ye meri last ghazal hai, aapne do jhel li, mujhe is bat ki badi khushi hai
bas ye akhri

--------------------------------------



dard kyuN ab davaa nahi hota
zakhm bhi to haraa nahi hota

tifl* nikle na ghar se jab tak
apne pairoN khadaa nahi hota

*child

kya zaroori tujhe bhulana hai
yaad rakhna *bajaH nahi hota

*right, correct...

aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota


apne bholeN ki gair dhokha deN
kuch bhi ho ab gila nahi hota

chaaj peeta na foonk kar yaro
doodh ka jo jala nahi hota

barkatoN se navaaj isko " fikr "
gham jamaa* hai ghata* nahi hota

jamaa + ghataa -
vikas bhai
radhe radhe

bahut khoob achha likha hai
highlighted sher dil ko bha gaya
dil se daad
likhte rahiye
beher me likhna seekh hi gaye aakhir achha raha ab
aur maza aayega tumhaari nazme aur ghazals padhne me
duaon ke saath



Aapka Apna
Ishk


'इश्क' के बदले इश्क चाहना तिजारत है
इज़हार किससे करें महबूब तो दिल में है


email: rkm179@gmail.com
   
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naresh_mehra110
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23rd September 2010, 05:39 PM

aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota


Awesome ......... Vikas Ji !

Behr se Ghazal kaise khil ke saamne aati hai .... yeh aapne dikhaaya hai ....

Very nice creation .... tahe dil se daad hazir hai ... aise hi likhte rahen aage bhi ... khush rahen ...

duaaon ke saath ....




YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN
Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ...

Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh
Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ...


---Naresh Mehra----
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LAMHA
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Smile 23rd September 2010, 06:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by janumanu View Post
Zidd bhayee ke anusaar mujhe teen ghazleN same behr mai likhni si , yo ye meri last ghazal hai, aapne do jhel li, mujhe is bat ki badi khushi hai
bas ye akhri

--------------------------------------



dard kyuN ab davaa nahi hota
zakhm bhi to haraa nahi hota

tifl* nikle na ghar se jab tak
apne pairoN khadaa nahi hota

*child

kya zaroori tujhe bhulana hai
yaad rakhna *bajaH nahi hota

*right, correct...

aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota

apne bholeN ki gair dhokha deN
kuch bhi ho ab gila nahi hota

chaaj peeta na foonk kar yaro
doodh ka jo jala nahi hota

barkatoN se navaaj isko " fikr "
gham jamaa* hai ghata* nahi hota

jamaa + ghataa -
Vikas,

wahhhhhhhhhh.... aur ek sunder kalaam... aapko padhna sdc ki khush-kismati hai... is baat me koi shaq nahi hai ke aap yaha ke kuch umdaa shayaro me se ek hai.... bahut mazaa aaya ye kalaam padhkar... dil se daad.... likhte rahiye.... khush rahiye...


"LAMHA"

mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko’ii hamnaam teraa ,
ko’ii tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe....
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sajid_ghayel
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24th September 2010, 01:34 AM

aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota


Bohat khoob Vikas saheb.................is khyaal ke kya kehne.

barkatoN se navaaj isko " fikr "
gham jamaa* hai ghata* nahi hota


Zidd saheb jaisi bareeki to mujhe pata nahi ha itna zaroor kahuga ke aapka makhta bilkool bebahar raha..........aur achcha hai jo aapne naya takhallus apnaya hai par use behar me lane ki zimmedari bhi aapki hai...........

rep++++

Yeh jamaa ghataa wali baat thoda bemaza kar gayee ghazal.


Jhoot kehdu yeh meri fitrat me nahi shamil

Par tujhe bevafa bhi kehna achcha nahi lagta...

Mob.: +971 501297654
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janumanu
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24th September 2010, 08:46 AM

[QUOTE=sajid_ghayel;410982]aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota


Bohat khoob Vikas saheb.................is khyaal ke kya kehne.

thanx bhayee . aapka bahut shukriyaa,

lekin ye maktaa behr mai kaise nahi hai ye nahi samjh aayaa

bar 2 ka - 1 toN -2 se -2 na-1 vaa-2 j-1 is-2 ko-2 " fikr - 2(1)
gham- 2 ja -1 maa- 2 hai-2 gha- 1taa-2* na-1hiN2 ho-2 ta-2


aap ispe ho sake to roshni dale ....!!



Yeh jamaa ghataa wali baat thoda bemaza kar gayee ghazal.

hmmm.... apni apni pasand bhayee, bas dikkat ye ki ye makta hai, maktaa pasand aana hi chahiye sabko ...

aapka bahut shukriyaa bhayee




shukiryaa sajid bhayee ,
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zidd
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24th September 2010, 11:03 AM

[QUOTE=janumanu;410992]
Quote:
Originally Posted by sajid_ghayel View Post
aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota


Bohat khoob Vikas saheb.................is khyaal ke kya kehne.

thanx bhayee . aapka bahut shukriyaa,

lekin ye maktaa behr mai kaise nahi hai ye nahi samjh aayaa

bar 2 ka - 1 toN -2 se -2 na-1 vaa-2 j-1 is-2 ko-2 " fikr - 2(1)
gham- 2 ja -1 maa- 2 hai-2 gha- 1taa-2* na-1hiN2 ho-2 ta-2


aap ispe ho sake to roshni dale ....!!



Yeh jamaa ghataa wali baat thoda bemaza kar gayee ghazal.

hmmm.... apni apni pasand bhayee, bas dikkat ye ki ye makta hai, maktaa pasand aana hi chahiye sabko ...

aapka bahut shukriyaa bhayee




shukiryaa sajid bhayee ,
meri sabse guzaarish hai ki vikas ji ko abse sab fikr sahab kah kar hi mile ab...( agar fikr sahab ko is baat ka aitraaz nahi to)
ab fikr sahab abse shayar ho gaye hai...aur mera man.na hai ki ek shayar hi pachaan uske thakallus hi se honi chaiye.

---------------------------------------
saajid sahab .......fikr sahab ka darj maqte ka misra e ulaa bilkul meter me hai...
unhone scanning bata di hai.....bus teen baato ka khayaal rakhna hoga aisa karte huye...wo mai bata deta hu

1] ek bahut chotha takhta ...yu samjh lijiye ke ,1 wazn ka bhi aadha aap misre ke last me add kar sakte hai
jaise
haath ka 'th' magar haathi ka 'thi' nahi
dheer ka 'r'
fikr ka 'r'
darj ka 'j' magar darja ka'ja' nahi
matlab us takte me koi harkat nahi honi chaiye

2] sirf aur sirf ek standard beher me ye allowed nahi hai..bus ye meter yaad rakhiye...1222 1222 1222 1222.(muhabbat ho gayi jinko vo parwaane kaha jaaye)

3] agar koi shayar apna beher bana kar ghazal kahta hai to ye liberty use hai ki nahi...iska paisla aaj 800 saal me nahi ho paya...ab uski marzi ..aur uski sujbujh, ki adaa hota hai ki nahi....magar adaa ho bhi gaya to koi kahega ki adaa nahi hua...mera nazariya ye hai ki aisa karne se bach hi jaaye to accha hai

hope it wa helpful

regards

Last edited by zidd; 24th September 2010 at 11:06 AM..
   
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r_singla95
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r_singla95 will become famous soon enoughr_singla95 will become famous soon enough
 
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24th September 2010, 12:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by janumanu View Post
Zidd bhayee ke anusaar mujhe teen ghazleN same behr mai likhni si , yo ye meri last ghazal hai, aapne do jhel li, mujhe is bat ki badi khushi hai
bas ye akhri

--------------------------------------



dard kyuN ab davaa nahi hota
zakhm bhi to haraa nahi hota

tifl* nikle na ghar se jab tak
apne pairoN khadaa nahi hota

*child

kya zaroori tujhe bhulana hai
yaad rakhna *bajaH nahi hota

*right, correct...

aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota

apne bholeN ki gair dhokha deN
kuch bhi ho ab gila nahi hota

chaaj peeta na foonk kar yaro
doodh ka jo jala nahi hota

barkatoN se navaaj isko " fikr "
gham jamaa* hai ghata* nahi hota

jamaa + ghataa -
Vikas Bhai,
Bahut dino baad padh raha hu aapko. bahut acha likhte ho. rab aapki shayri me aur nikhaar laaye. daad hazir hai bhai. khush raho..
   
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Harash Mahajan
MaiN Our Meri Tanhaayii
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24th September 2010, 03:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by janumanu View Post
Zidd bhayee ke anusaar mujhe teen ghazleN same behr mai likhni si , yo ye meri last ghazal hai, aapne do jhel li, mujhe is bat ki badi khushi hai
bas ye akhri

--------------------------------------



dard kyuN ab davaa nahi hota
zakhm bhi to haraa nahi hota

tifl* nikle na ghar se jab tak
apne pairoN khadaa nahi hota

*child

kya zaroori tujhe bhulana hai
yaad rakhna *bajaH nahi hota

*right, correct...

aankh mai rab bithana padta hai
yun hi patthar khuda nahi hota

apne bholeN ki gair dhokha deN
kuch bhi ho ab gila nahi hota

chaaj peeta na foonk kar yaro
doodh ka jo jala nahi hota

barkatoN se navaaj isko " fikr "
gham jamaa* hai ghata* nahi hota

jamaa + ghataa -
Vikas ji ..janaab bahoot khoob lih gaye aap.....dil se daad haazir hai aapke....our isi tarah rounaq me izafa karte rahiyega ....

Harash
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sajid_ghayel
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24th September 2010, 04:52 PM

[QUOTE=zidd;411003]
Quote:
Originally Posted by janumanu View Post

meri sabse guzaarish hai ki vikas ji ko abse sab fikr sahab kah kar hi mile ab...( agar fikr sahab ko is baat ka aitraaz nahi to)
ab fikr sahab abse shayar ho gaye hai...aur mera man.na hai ki ek shayar hi pachaan uske thakallus hi se honi chaiye.

---------------------------------------
saajid sahab .......fikr sahab ka darj maqte ka misra e ulaa bilkul meter me hai...
unhone scanning bata di hai.....bus teen baato ka khayaal rakhna hoga aisa karte huye...wo mai bata deta hu

1] ek bahut chotha takhta ...yu samjh lijiye ke ,1 wazn ka bhi aadha aap misre ke last me add kar sakte hai
jaise
haath ka 'th' magar haathi ka 'thi' nahi
dheer ka 'r'
fikr ka 'r'
darj ka 'j' magar darja ka'ja' nahi
matlab us takte me koi harkat nahi honi chaiye

2] sirf aur sirf ek standard beher me ye allowed nahi hai..bus ye meter yaad rakhiye...1222 1222 1222 1222.(muhabbat ho gayi jinko vo parwaane kaha jaaye)

3] agar koi shayar apna beher bana kar ghazal kahta hai to ye liberty use hai ki nahi...iska paisla aaj 800 saal me nahi ho paya...ab uski marzi ..aur uski sujbujh, ki adaa hota hai ki nahi....magar adaa ho bhi gaya to koi kahega ki adaa nahi hua...mera nazariya ye hai ki aisa karne se bach hi jaaye to accha hai

hope it wa helpful

regards

Mere bhai yeh numbaro ki ginti to school ke zamane se kabhi pasand nahi aayee..............to ab kya aayegi...........aapse bas itni guzarish hai ke is ghazal ka matla aur makhta mujhe ek baar phone karke tarannum me suna de.................matla isiliye, qke bahr ka pata chale...........aur makhta isiliye qke behas bhi isi baat ki hai ke makhta bebahar hai.

Baki ise meri nasamjhi hi samjhe, agar aapne kaha hai to yaqeenan Vikaas saheb bahr me hi hai.......meri kya majaal main iske baad kuch kahu.


Jhoot kehdu yeh meri fitrat me nahi shamil

Par tujhe bevafa bhi kehna achcha nahi lagta...

Mob.: +971 501297654
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janumanu
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24th September 2010, 05:30 PM

[QUOTE=sajid_ghayel;411024]
Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post


Mere bhai yeh numbaro ki ginti to school ke zamane se kabhi pasand nahi aayee..............to ab kya aayegi...........aapse bas itni guzarish hai ke is ghazal ka matla aur makhta mujhe ek baar phone karke tarannum me suna de.................matla isiliye, qke bahr ka pata chale...........aur makhta isiliye qke behas bhi isi baat ki hai ke makhta bebahar hai.

Baki ise meri nasamjhi hi samjhe, agar aapne kaha hai to yaqeenan Vikaas saheb bahr me hi hai.......meri kya majaal main iske baad kuch kahu.

ha ha .... ye kyaa baat huee, doubt to aapko hai kayde se aapko call karna chahiye .......


khair, jokes apart
aaap ye batayeN ki kis lihaaj se aapko behr maiN nahi lag raha hai ye.........

aap ise
yumko ko dekha to ye khayal aaya ki dhun pe ga sakteN haiN

fir batayeN ... kaha gadbad lag rahi hai aapko
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aru
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24th September 2010, 06:44 PM

vikas bhai aapki ye peshkas mujhe bahut acchi lagi ... kuch lines dil ko choo kar gayeen

tifl* nikle na ghar se jab tak
apne pairoN khadaa nahi hota

*child

nice sharing reps+++++++++ added



एक हाथ में दिल उनके एक हाथ में खंजर था
चेहरे पे दोस्त का मुखौटा अजीब सा मंजर था

Arvind Saxena
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