Quote:
Originally Posted by Pankaj Mishra
Phir se chandan ki tarah baad-e-sabaa ho jaaye !
Koi mausam ho tu aaye to jawaa ho jaaye !!
Meri khuddar nigahon ka takaza dekho !
Tujhko dekhen to sukoon warna khafa ho jaaye !!
Ishq to apna zanaza bhi utha lega khud !
Muntazir hoon ke tu is baar juda ho jaaye !!
Phike padne lage alfaaz mere sheron ke !
Tum nawaazo to ghazal meri jawaaN ho jaaye !!
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Nawab saahab ko khaadim ka aadaab pahuche.....
bahut dino baad aap tashreef laaye aur bazm ko apne kalaamon se raushan kar gaye.... aapne waaqai kaabile tareef likhaa hai magar kuch baaten main ye soch kar kahnaa chahungaa ke aapko isme koi buraa mahsoos na hogaa..... aur mahaz chand galtiyan jo nazar aatee hain sarsaree taur pe , unhe door kiyaa jae....
pahle sher me aapne likha.....
Phir se chandan ki tarah baad-e-sabaa ho jaaye !
Koi mausam ho tu aaye to
jawaa ho jaaye !
isme lafz jawaa kyaa hai wo meri samajh ke baahar hai kya aap is par roshnee daalenege ek baar.... jaisa ke mujhe lagta hai shayad aap lafz "jawaa.n" likhnaaa chah rahe hain.... magar jawaa.n lafz yahaan qaafiya pe nahi baithegaa...
Ishq to apna
zanaza bhi utha lega khud !
Muntazir hoon ke tu is baar juda ho jaaye !!
zanaza koi lafz nahi hotaa bhai... its janaaza.... ise durust karwaa len...
aakhri sher me aapne
Phike padne lage alfaaz mere sheron ke !
Tum nawaazo to ghazal meri
jawaaN ho jaaye !!
jawaaN lafz bhi aapke qaafiye se mel nahi khaata.. ise bhii durust kar len ek baar dekh lijiyegaa....
janab main aapke kalaam ki bareekii na dekhte hue mahaz uuparee taur se jo baaten nazar aatee hain wahi bataane ki koshish ki hai, is ummeed ke sath ke aap naraaz na honge aur shayari ko durust karenge....
shukriya......
shaad....