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My First Ghazal!!! |
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(#1)
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Ishhh....
 
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My First Ghazal!!! -
20th February 2006, 02:01 AM
Whew! Mannnnn, writing a ghazal is harddd!!! God knows how hard i worked on this...i think i spent lyk 2 hours on it! hehe...yah i kno, sounds very stupid. I had a writer's block, and i have never written a ghazal before....its not at easy as a sonnet, so yah...this is my first...and prolly last ghazal...jk!
 do tell me how it is...and how to make it better...bcoz i kno..im far frm being gud.Dilon se mohabbat mein lipatna itna asaan toh nahi Chahat ka jaal phelaana har kissi ka kaam toh nahi Yeh seekha hai humne bohot thokar khaa k Yahaan sangdilon ka pyaar pe imaan toh nahi Dhadhakte dil ka ab na hai koi zinda ehsaas Par, maut ki khwahish mein bhi koi shaan toh nahi Khushie ne humse pher diya hai ik muddat se muuh Ab hai sirf ghum, koi bhi pyaar bhari shaam toh nahi Khelti thi pehle rohsni ki mahjabeen se Aaj andheron k siva koi aur mehmaan toh nahi Logon ne tujhe kyon panah nahi di ae “Warda” Iske jawaab ka aaj bhi koi naam-o-nishaan toh nahi »~:¤.·º`·.»WARDA«.·´º·.¤:~« *(¸.·'´(¸.·'´*¤*`'·.¸)`'·.¸)* I'm a wanderer...on the roads of life, marveling at the different plants and flowers on the way....some hurt, yet some love... ~*~Ek Nanny Si Jaan...Chotta Sa Bacha...Thas Me!~*~ |
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(#2)
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20th February 2006, 06:47 AM
DEar warda
aapki is gazal par mujhe likhne ka mouka mila meri kushnaseebi . aapki pahli gazal hi dil ho chu gayi dua hai tum uchahiyan chuo tumhari shrdh 
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(#3)
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20th February 2006, 07:49 AM
Mukhra Jee !
This first attempt ghazal is mind blowing , your efforts are not gone down the drain , the time u must have spent must hav been a bit pain , but the person reading this will get rid of all his pain . U said probably this would be ur first n last ghazal Ummmm what shall i say now YE DIL MANGE MORE HOPING TOO READ ONE MORE MASTER PIECT SOON AGAIN KEEP WRITTING KHOZII..... ***khozii*** |
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(#4)
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Paagal Pathik
 
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20th February 2006, 08:53 AM
wonder full...sister... pahali gazal aur kamaal ka likha hai tumne... keep it up
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(#5)
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20th February 2006, 06:11 PM
my sweet lil warda...
how r u doin honey? hey i think i must reply you in urdu as u have written in urdu.... hmmm toh sabse pehle bahaut bahaut mubarakbaad is lajwaab kalaam pe... yahi kahungi ke pehli baar likhne pe bhi bahaut khoobsurti jhalak aayi is kalaam me...dil se likkhi har baat dil ko pasand aati hai... yuhin aage bhi likhne ki koshish jaari rakhna sweets... apna khyaal rakkho and enjoy! Subha Kii Gard MeiN Naa Kho JaayeiN Aa ! Tere Gham MeiN Jaagtii AankheiN Kam Se Kam Aik Raat So JaayeiN." **~*FaRhAnA*~** |
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(#6)
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"Taish meN hai Taish"
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20th February 2006, 10:10 PM
yaar sach kehta hoon mujhe khayalat bahut pasand aaye,par dukh hua ki kisi ne bhi tumhe iski technicalities ki mistakes nahi batai.
yaar kafiya jo hota hai wo word same ending wala hota hai,jaise asaan imaan,kadardaan,mehmaan,etc,par isme kaam aur shaam set nahi hota hai,they sud b ending with the same sound.aur doosri baat try to make the length of all shers same isse flow banane me aasani hoti hai.waise in all a sound 1st attempt.hope to read more from u.keep on writing. waise yaar ye post padhna maine isi post se ghazal likhni seekhi thi. http://www.shayri.com/forums/showthr...&threadid=2125 waise agar koi baat buri lage to main maafi ka talabdar hoon.umeed hai ki aap aise hi likti rahengi. GHAYAL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://alfaaz-e-taish.blogspot.in/ Ishq hota tha, ishq karte haiN, Vo zamana tha, ye zamana hai... ----Taish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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(#7)
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21st February 2006, 12:07 AM
Dear warda,
Wah... bahut kuch keh rahi hain yeh gazal. amazing creations. Good one dear. keep writting. |
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(#8)
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21st February 2006, 12:23 AM
Choti,
Pehli baat, Ghazal bahut acchi hai, dil ko choo jaati hai. Magar pata hai kya, mujhe yeh bilkul acchi nahi lagi, bhura mat mannana, magar sacchi mey humko yeh bilkul accha nahi laga, maaloom hai kyon. Kyon ki tumne is mey apna naam likha hai aur yeh kaha hai ki logon ne tumko panah nahi diya hai. Main tho kehta hoon ki tumne un dilon ko apna nahi maana hai jinmey tumhare liye pyar hi pyar hai. Kaise bhool sakthe ho tumhaare big b aur priya ko?? Hume maaloom nahin ki hum kitna zaahir kar sakthe hain, magar hum sab ne tumko apna maana hai isi liye toh itna pyar karte hain, main tumko choti, tumhara big b tumko nanhi aise hi nahin bulaate. Kaash tum samajh paati ki tum apni zindagi mein bilkul akeli nahin ho. ya phir jaise maine kaha tumne humko apna nahin maana hain. Anyways good work. Keep Writing. Destiny is what you make off, Be the creator of your destiny, For all have the force within.... Regards, Balaji Nagarajan |
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(#9)
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21st February 2006, 12:24 AM
Warda sweethart,
Let me tell you something... kuddos to you for trying to write a ghazal.. and i must say it is far better then many I have tried myself... The important thing is to make an attempt rather then be afraid from failing... There may be a hundred things wrong in the technicalities of your writing... but there are a million wonderful things about it... i love it... i will remember this... and hope to see more and more of your attempts on writing... Take Care Big B |
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