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zarraa
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6th July 2014, 03:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Praneeta View Post
shukriya Zarraa ji aap ke response ke liye. definitely aap ka feedback welcome hai. aap ne jo suggest kiya i agree but i actually meant that punishment is suicide thats why used only rasan-o-daar. hope i make some sense here

thanks again
Thank you for your warm response Praneeta ji.

Aap ne jo kaha, this makes perfect sense ! Agar "suicide" ki tarah se dekha jaaye, to ehsaasaat waise hi theek hai jaise aap ne bayaan kiya. Maine is tarah se interpret kiya hi naheen. You are right !

Maybe I got wrong footed with the word "bachna", to ye khayaal hi naheen aaya ki shayar khud ke liye saza dhooNdh raha hai ya khud ko saza dene
par majboor ho raha hai. As a thought, agar aap koyee clue de dein 2nd line meiN jo "suicide"ki taraf ishaara kare, to ho sakta hai interpretation mein jo galti maiN ne ki wo ek aam reader na kare ... as an indicative example, something like ... "khud ke liye maaNgte / dhooNdhte haiN saza rasan o daar se" ...or some other method ... again just my opinion, nothing more


is meiN achchhe naheeN magar “zarraa”
aadat-e-shayari naheeN jaati
   
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Praneeta
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Love 6th July 2014, 04:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
Thank you for your warm response Praneeta ji.

Aap ne jo kaha, this makes perfect sense ! Agar "suicide" ki tarah se dekha jaaye, to ehsaasaat waise hi theek hai jaise aap ne bayaan kiya. Maine is tarah se interpret kiya hi naheen. You are right !

Maybe I got wrong footed with the word "bachna", to ye khayaal hi naheen aaya ki shayar khud ke liye saza dhooNdh raha hai ya khud ko saza dene
par majboor ho raha hai. As a thought, agar aap koyee clue de dein 2nd line meiN jo "suicide"ki taraf ishaara kare, to ho sakta hai interpretation mein jo galti maiN ne ki wo ek aam reader na kare ... as an indicative example, something like ... "khud ke liye maaNgte / dhooNdhte haiN saza rasan o daar se" ...or some other method ... again just my opinion, nothing more
Zarraa ji mujhe itni technicalities nahi aati. I am just trying to express that in this situation its mandatory to commit suicide despite not wanting to. Could you please fix it for me.


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  (#83)
zarraa
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6th July 2014, 11:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Praneeta View Post
Zarraa ji mujhe itni technicalities nahi aati. I am just trying to express that in this situation its mandatory to commit suicide despite not wanting to. Could you please fix it for me.
Waise fixing ki aisi bahaut ziyada zaroorat naheen hai, and I may not be the best fixer (mujhe khud fixing ki zaroorat padti rehti hai ) ... but I might have tried variations like (may not be in the meter you may have in mind) ... "panaah mili n koyee to maaNgee saza rasan o daar se" ya "ho ke majboor maNg baithe saza rasan o daar se" ...

Lekin chhorhiye in nuktoN ko, yahaaN maqsad hai diye gaye jumle par ghaur karne ka hai, jis ko aap ne bahaut achchhee tarah grasp kar liya hai ... to mubaarakbad aap ko


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7th July 2014, 11:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Praneeta View Post
Tumhare comparison mein to hum abhi thik se born bhi nahi hue shayri ki duniya mein...meri soch kya kya samajh aaya hoga mujhe

sirf padha what to use in shayri and its meaning...aur sab explanation sar ke upar se gaya

still I am trying....

gunaah kiya kar ke ulfat 'pari' bewafaa yaar se
saza to milni hai kaise bachogi rasan-o-daar se
Pranitaji,

aapka sher padhke lagta nahi ki aap ham jaise stuents kii list men aati hai.n

behad khubsurat sher pesh kiya hai aapne...

waah hi waah........



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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7th July 2014, 11:33 AM

mera sher....

daar-us-suruur* ka daar-o-rasan ham-jaliis* hua
phir bhii kadaa-e-yaar me.n be-shakl mai.n hua


daar-us-suruur = house of intoxication (mae-kadaa)
ham-jaliis = constant companion



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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  (#86)
zainy
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7th July 2014, 12:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
mera sher....

daar-us-suruur* ka daar-o-rasan ham-jaliis* hua
phir bhii kadaa-e-yaar me.n be-shakl mai.n hua


daar-us-suruur = house of intoxication (mae-kadaa)
ham-jaliis = constant companion
Poore sher me mujhe sirf "hua"...samajh me aaya...baqi sab sar ke upar se chala gaya...lol....

Aadil sahab itni urdu kahaan se seekhi aapne.........




Zainy


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sameer'shaad'
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7th July 2014, 12:24 PM

Ek sher aap sab ki khidmat meiN, zarraa bhai ke huqum se.....

Kuch daaro rasan yooN banaa meraa aye kaarsaaz,
qaatil bhii zaar zaar ho maqtool dekh kar...

Shaad.....


Shaad...
   
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sameer'shaad'
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7th July 2014, 12:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
Poore sher me mujhe sirf "hua"...samajh me aaya...baqi sab sar ke upar se chala gaya...lol....

Aadil sahab itni urdu kahaan se seekhi aapne.........


Zainy aapko nahi lagtaa agle mahine se hame is activity ke liye ek nayaa teacher mil jaaegaa....


Shaad...
   
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aadeil
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7th July 2014, 12:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
Poore sher me mujhe sirf "hua"...samajh me aaya...baqi sab sar ke upar se chala gaya...lol....

Aadil sahab itni urdu kahaan se seekhi aapne.........
haa haa hhaaaaaa..
Zainyji, chaliye aapke liye use translate kar deta hoo.n

daar-us-suruur maane nashe ki jagah (mae-kadaa) ka daar-o-rasan (fandah) ham-jaliis (hamesha ka saathi) hua
phir bhii kadaa-e-yaar (yaaro.n ke milne kii jagah) me.n be-shakl (faceless/unknown) mai.n rahaa

urdu toh bas yu.n hi zubaani seekh lii



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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7th July 2014, 12:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
Zainy aapko nahi lagtaa agle mahine se hame is activity ke liye ek nayaa teacher mil jaaegaa....
oh maaa....
Shoaib bhai,
mujhe bakhsh dijiye.. warnaa sab bhaag jaayenge iis bazm se..... LOLzzz



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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zarraa
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7th July 2014, 12:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
mera sher....

daar-us-suruur* ka daar-o-rasan ham-jaliis* hua
phir bhii kadaa-e-yaar me.n be-shakl mai.n hua


daar-us-suruur = house of intoxication (mae-kadaa)
ham-jaliis = constant companion
Aadeil sahab ... pooree ki pooree ghazal hi shaandaar hai aur ye sher bhi bahaut khoob !! Waah sahab "daar us suroor" aur "daar o rasan" ki kya tarkeeb ki hai !! aur un ko ham-jaliis keh ke to kya lutf paida kiya !!! Just Superb !!!

Ek guzaarish hai aap se. Kyunki yahaan maqasad lutf-e-sukhan ke saath saath ilm-e-sukhan haasil karne ka bhi hai, to meri ye darkhwaast hai ki aap agar, zehmat na ho to, is sher ki mukhtasar si sharah kar sakein. Just a small explanation, jis se sabhi members par ye sher pooree tarah se ayaan hi sake aur wo is ke zariye kuchh seekh sakein. Aap ke khoobsurat alfaaz aur gehree fiqr ek achchha mauka dete hain humein kuchh seekhne ka.

Dheron duaon ke saath .... Zarraa


is meiN achchhe naheeN magar “zarraa”
aadat-e-shayari naheeN jaati
   
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  (#92)
aadeil
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7th July 2014, 12:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
Ek sher aap sab ki khidmat meiN, zarraa bhai ke huqum se.....

Kuch daaro rasan yooN banaa meraa aye kaarsaaz,
qaatil bhii zaar zaar ho maqtool dekh kar...

Shaad.....
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
kitnii khubsurti se aapne sher baandha hai, janaab...

behad be naziir andaaz dikhta hai aapka.....



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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zainy
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7th July 2014, 12:36 PM

Zarraa sahab aapki class me nursery aur PHD dono level ke students maujood hain...lol...




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zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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7th July 2014, 12:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by sameer'shaad' View Post
Ek sher aap sab ki khidmat meiN, zarraa bhai ke huqum se.....

Kuch daaro rasan yooN banaa meraa aye kaarsaaz,
qaatil bhii zaar zaar ho maqtool dekh kar...

Shaad.....
WWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHH

qatl to aap ne kar diya is karishmaayee sher se Shaad bhai ... Aur maqtool to hum daad dene waale ho gaye hain Waah !! Mujhe ye ek taaza pehlu laga hai daar-o-rasan ke mutalliq !! Bahaut bahaut khoob !! Dheron daad aur duaein aap ko !!


is meiN achchhe naheeN magar “zarraa”
aadat-e-shayari naheeN jaati
   
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zarraa
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7th July 2014, 12:48 PM

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Originally Posted by zainy View Post
Zarraa sahab aapki class me nursery aur PHD dono level ke students maujood hain...lol...
Ji bilkul yahi lag raha hai. Lekin shayari ki duniya mein seedha seedha kahaan hota hai. Har qadam par pech o kham milte hain Par mujhe to bahaut lutf aa raha hoon. Tabhi to aakhiri bench main baith kar in phd students se khud seekh raha hoon


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aadat-e-shayari naheeN jaati
   
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zarraa
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7th July 2014, 12:52 PM

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Originally Posted by zainy View Post
Zarraa sahab aapki class me nursery aur PHD dono level ke students maujood hain...lol...

Ab aap bhi maidaan, yaani ki classroom mein, utar aaiye Zainy ji apni textbook, yaani sher, ke saath...


is meiN achchhe naheeN magar “zarraa”
aadat-e-shayari naheeN jaati
   
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aadeil
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7th July 2014, 12:54 PM

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Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
Aadeil sahab ... pooree ki pooree ghazal hi shaandaar hai aur ye sher bhi bahaut khoob !! Waah sahab "daar us suroor" aur "daar o rasan" ki kya tarkeeb ki hai !! aur un ko ham-jaliis keh ke to kya lutf paida kiya !!! Just Superb !!!

Ek guzaarish hai aap se. Kyunki yahaan maqasad lutf-e-sukhan ke saath saath ilm-e-sukhan haasil karne ka bhi hai, to meri ye darkhwaast hai ki aap agar, zehmat na ho to, is sher ki mukhtasar si sharah kar sakein. Just a small explanation, jis se sabhi members par ye sher pooree tarah se ayaan hi sake aur wo is ke zariye kuchh seekh sakein. Aap ke khoobsurat alfaaz aur gehree fiqr ek achchha mauka dete hain humein kuchh seekhne ka.

Dheron duaon ke saath .... Zarraa
zarraji,
aapka hukm sar aankhoN aapne hamaarii adnaa koshish ko itna navaazaa hai ki use ek mukammal manzar banaa diyaa

lijiye iis sher kii interpretation kar deta hoo.n mere azeez dosto.n ke liye..
daar-us-suruur* ka daar-o-rasan ham-jaliis* hua
phir bhii kadaa-e-yaar me.n be-shakl mai.n hua

daar-us-suroor = nashe kii jagah maanee mae-kadaa ya mae-khaanaa samajh ljiye
daar-o-rasan = gallows (fandaah / faansii ka fandaah)
kadaa-e-yaar = yaaro.n ke milne kii jagah (yaaro.n kii mehfil samajh lijiye)

toh tarjumaa kuch yu.n hoga...
mae-kade ka fandah (mera) paaidaar yaar (constant companion [ham jaliis]) ban gayaa
phir bhii yaaro.n kii mehfil (kadaa-e-yaar) me.n (jab bhii jaataa tha) mai.n be-shakl (faceless/unknown) hi banaa rahaa..

bas itnii si baat kehnii chaahi hai



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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  (#98)
zainy
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zainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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7th July 2014, 01:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
Ab aap bhi maidaan, yaani ki classroom mein, utar aaiye Zainy ji apni textbook, yaani sher, ke saath...
Hum last bencher hain...humse padhai wadai nahi hoti...hum to bas masti karenge. ...aur aap sabko disturb karte rahenge...

Wo kya hai na class me naughty students bhi zaruri hai warna class boring ho jaati hai. ....

waise sabke sher lajawaab hain. ..claps to all...




Zainy


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zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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7th July 2014, 02:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
Hum last bencher hain...humse padhai wadai nahi hoti...hum to bas masti karenge. ...aur aap sabko disturb karte rahenge...

Wo kya hai na class me naughty students bhi zaruri hai warna class boring ho jaati hai. ....

waise sabke sher lajawaab hain. ..claps to all...
Ha ha ha ha

You have the best seat in the class Zainy ji

Main khud bhi yahi karta agar aap ne mujhe ye zimmedaaree naheen di hoti


is meiN achchhe naheeN magar “zarraa”
aadat-e-shayari naheeN jaati
   
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zarraa
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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7th July 2014, 02:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
zarraji,
aapka hukm sar aankhoN aapne hamaarii adnaa koshish ko itna navaazaa hai ki use ek mukammal manzar banaa diyaa

lijiye iis sher kii interpretation kar deta hoo.n mere azeez dosto.n ke liye..
daar-us-suruur* ka daar-o-rasan ham-jaliis* hua
phir bhii kadaa-e-yaar me.n be-shakl mai.n hua

daar-us-suroor = nashe kii jagah maanee mae-kadaa ya mae-khaanaa samajh ljiye
daar-o-rasan = gallows (fandaah / faansii ka fandaah)
kadaa-e-yaar = yaaro.n ke milne kii jagah (yaaro.n kii mehfil samajh lijiye)

toh tarjumaa kuch yu.n hoga...
mae-kade ka fandah (mera) paaidaar yaar (constant companion [ham jaliis]) ban gayaa
phir bhii yaaro.n kii mehfil (kadaa-e-yaar) me.n (jab bhii jaataa tha) mai.n be-shakl (faceless/unknown) hi banaa rahaa..

bas itnii si baat kehnii chaahi hai
Shukriya Aadeil bhai. Aur ek baar phir se daad !!!


is meiN achchhe naheeN magar “zarraa”
aadat-e-shayari naheeN jaati
   
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Praneeta
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Love 7th July 2014, 02:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
Waise fixing ki aisi bahaut ziyada zaroorat naheen hai, and I may not be the best fixer (mujhe khud fixing ki zaroorat padti rehti hai ) ... but I might have tried variations like (may not be in the meter you may have in mind) ... "panaah mili n koyee to maaNgee saza rasan o daar se" ya "ho ke majboor maNg baithe saza rasan o daar se" ...

Lekin chhorhiye in nuktoN ko, yahaaN maqsad hai diye gaye jumle par ghaur karne ka hai, jis ko aap ne bahaut achchhee tarah grasp kar liya hai ... to mubaarakbad aap ko
shukriya zarraa sahab.......


_______________________________________________
PRANEETA

Kaash k khamoshi bhi ek zabaaN hoti
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Praneeta
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Love 7th July 2014, 02:28 PM

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Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
Pranitaji,

aapka sher padhke lagta nahi ki aap ham jaise stuents kii list men aati hai.n

behad khubsurat sher pesh kiya hai aapne...

waah hi waah........
yakeen maniyen sahab main student list mein bhi qualify nahi karti. thanks for your appreciation


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Kaash k khamoshi bhi ek zabaaN hoti
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zainy
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7th July 2014, 03:47 PM

Ok fine ...ek meri taraf se bhi toota phoota sher..

Kharaash phuloN se mere liyN moamma thi
Khulasa ishq ke daar o rasan ne khoob kiya




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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7th July 2014, 04:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
Ok fine ...ek meri taraf se bhi toota phoota sher..

Kharaash phuloN se mere liyN moamma thi
Khulasa ishq ke daar o rasan ne khoob kiya

Zainy ji, is sher ke baad aap ko back bench mein baithane ki ijaazat naheen hogi. Aap ko front ki benches main hi baithna hoga


WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

bala ki naaz-o-adaa hai is sher mein. badi nazaakat se aap ne daar-o-rasan par baat kahi. dheron daad !!!


is meiN achchhe naheeN magar “zarraa”
aadat-e-shayari naheeN jaati
   
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aadeil
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aadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud ofaadeil has much to be proud of
 
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7th July 2014, 04:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zainy View Post
Ok fine ...ek meri taraf se bhi toota phoota sher..

Kharaash phuloN se mere liyN moamma thi
Khulasa ishq ke daar o rasan ne khoob kiya
lo...... kar lo baat............
apne aap ko student (wo bhii last bencher) kehte kehte kya zabardast sher keh gayee.n aap.....

aapke sher ne toh hamaare dil ko hi kharaash kar diya, Zainyji......... ab mo.amma yeh hai ki daaru-e-shifaa kahaa.n se dhunde... LOLzzz

bahot hi khubsurat bayaanaat kii hai aapne...... kya manzar baandhii hai.... waah waah........... aur ishq ka daar-o-rashan bataa kar toh aapne ek ishq ka alag andaaz dikha diya... waaah....... . aapke ab tak dekhe andaaz se yeh andaaz bilkul hi alag rahaa...... DIL SE DHERON............... DAAAAAAD



ख़ुदा परेशां तेरी बला से तेरे सितम से तेरे अधम से
अगर हसीँ होते ज़ुल्म तेरे तू भी तो कुछ शर्मसार होता



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zidd
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7th July 2014, 07:43 PM

Kisko bhala dikhate ho daar o rasan ka khauff
Dil se abhi gayaa hi kaha baankpan ka khauff

==========================
Kya tegh e ulfataaN ke qayamat si aa bane
Kya tegh e ulfat ab ke qayamat si aa bane

Hum pahle zer e daar the daar o rasan liye
Hum pahle meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye
hum khud hi meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye
khud pahle meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye

------------------
practice sher hai isliye sari exercise yaha rakh raha hu zarra sirji.

-------------------

ulfataaN par feedback invited hai
   
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sameer'shaad'
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7th July 2014, 08:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
Kisko bhala dikhate ho daar o rasan ka khauff
Dil se abhi gayaa hi kaha baankpan ka khauff

==========================
Kya tegh e ulfataaN ke qayamat si aa bane
Kya tegh e ulfat ab ke qayamat si aa bane

Hum pahle zer e daar the daar o rasan liye
Hum pahle meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye
hum khud hi meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye
khud pahle meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye

------------------
practice sher hai isliye sari exercise yaha rakh raha hu zarra sirji.

-------------------

ulfataaN par feedback invited hai

saare ke saare permutation and combination too good hain sir jee.... bahot hi khoob har sher hai aur khaaskar ke pahle waalaa....

ulfataaN bilkul nayaa lafz mujhe nazar aay hai magar iske istemaal me kahin bhi mujhe awkward nahi lag raha hai and quite matching with the situation...

Shukriyaaa

Shaad....


Shaad...
   
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zidd
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7th July 2014, 08:20 PM

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ab mo.amma yeh hai ki daaru-e-shifaa kahaa.n se dhunde... LOLzzz
jab zainyji ye reply padengi to shifaa ke liye haad vaid dhund lena..baqi jo dusra item hai , uska address mai de dunga. dont worry.aapko zarurat padegi, haddiyo ka dard door karne ke liye.
   
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sameer'shaad'
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7th July 2014, 09:24 PM

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Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
kitnii khubsurti se aapne sher baandha hai, janaab...

behad be naziir andaaz dikhta hai aapka.....
bhot shukriyaa aadeil bhai................................


Shaad...
   
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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7th July 2014, 09:54 PM

------------------
practice sher hai isliye sari exercise yaha rakh raha hu zarra sirji.

-------------------


Kya Zidd sahab ..... aap bhi !!! Ek Zainy ji kya kam theeN mujhe school teacher banaa dene ke liye ki aap bhi ... Sir, jahaaN mujh jaisa teacher ho, maiN khud aise school meiN naheeN padhooNga

HaaN, ab aap tashreef laaye haiN to aap se tuitions zaroor leNge


is meiN achchhe naheeN magar “zarraa”
aadat-e-shayari naheeN jaati

Last edited by zarraa; 7th July 2014 at 10:40 PM..
   
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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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7th July 2014, 10:01 PM

[QUOTE=zidd;461300]Kisko bhala dikhate ho daar o rasan ka khauff
Dil se abhi gayaa hi kaha baankpan ka khauff

==========================


Zidd sahab .... kamaal ka sher keh diya hai aap ne !!! Ye kehna galat na hoga ki is unwaan par zyaadatar sher jahaaN khatm hote haiN, ye sher wahaN se shuru hua hai aur ek aage ke muqaam tak pahauNch gaya hai !!! Bas daad hi daad is sher par !!!


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zarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzarraa is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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7th July 2014, 10:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post

Kya tegh e ulfataaN ke qayamat si aa bane
Kya tegh e ulfat ab ke qayamat si aa bane

Hum pahle zer e daar the daar o rasan liye
Hum pahle meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye
hum khud hi meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye
khud pahle meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye

------------------
practice sher hai isliye sari exercise yaha rakh raha hu zarra sirji.

-------------------

ulfataaN par feedback invited hai

Hmmmm !!! Very tricky options !! Very intricate and intriguing too !! Mujhe sabhi options meiN maanee ke alag alag nuances lag rahe haiN. Very curious to see ki aap in options meiN se kis combination ko finalize karte haiN !!!

Shaad sahab ki tarah maine bhi lafz "ulfataaN" pehle naheeN dekha hai lekin intuitively aur logically sahi lag raha hai. Aur jis situation meiN ye misre meiN aaya hai, wahaaN is ke alaawa aur koyee substitute lafz bhi khayaal meiN naheeN aa raha hai. Lekin is lafz ka pehle se chalan urdu zubaan meiN hai ki naheeN, is ka ilm naheeN hai mujhe.

PS : aap ki "exercises" hamaare liye "lessons" ka kaam kar rahi haiN Zidd sahab


is meiN achchhe naheeN magar “zarraa”
aadat-e-shayari naheeN jaati

Last edited by zarraa; 7th July 2014 at 10:31 PM..
   
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7th July 2014, 10:51 PM

Hmmmm !!! Very tricky options !! Very intricate and intriguing too !! Mujhe sabhi options meiN maanee ke alag alag nuances lag rahe haiN. Very curious to see ki aap in options meiN se kis combination ko finalize karte haiN !!!

asl me mai ula ko 'kya' se shuru hi nahi karna chahta tha...meri first choice thi 'vo'...magar socha ki sabko zara samjhne me dikkat hogi..waise agar mai ye sher finally kahta to yu kahta.use indifinite chodta, interorrgative me nahi rahne deta...

vo tegh e ulfat abke qayamat si aa bane
hum pahle meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye....


Shaad sahab ki tarah maine bhi lafz "ulfataaN" pehle naheeN dekha hai lekin intuitively aur logically sahi lag raha hai. Aur jis situation meiN ye misre meiN aaya hai, wahaaN is ke alaawa aur koyee substitute lafz bhi khayaal meiN naheeN aa raha hai. Lekin is lafz ka pehle se chalan urdu zubaan meiN hai ki naheeN, is ka ilm naheeN hai mujhe.

actually fit lagta hai magar koi misaal nahi mili mujhe.
jaanaN, butaaN, yaraaN,dushmanaaN...sab animate nouns hai.

shaadaaN , raksaaN.... compound verbing hai, if conjugated.

mujhe 'ulfataaN' , jo inanimate hai , iski misaal nahi mili....kyuki phir mahabattaaN, ashkaaN ko roka nahi jaa sakta...i guess it is wrong.


PS : aap ki "exercises" hamaare liye "lessons" ka kaam kar rahi haiN Zidd sahab

what i did was to provoke a discusssion....ek sehatmand bahs( healthy debate...big Lollz) ke liye.

carry on..u doing yeoman service.


Last edited by zidd; 7th July 2014 at 11:06 PM..
   
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7th July 2014, 11:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
Hmmmm !!! Very tricky options !! Very intricate and intriguing too !! Mujhe sabhi options meiN maanee ke alag alag nuances lag rahe haiN. Very curious to see ki aap in options meiN se kis combination ko finalize karte haiN !!!

asl me mai ula ko 'kya' se shuru hi nahi karna chahta tha...meri first choice thi 'vo'...magar socha ki sabko zara samjhne me dikkat hogi..waise agar mai ye sher finally kahta to yu kahta.use indifinite chodta, interorrgative me nahi rahne deta...

vo tegh e ulfat abke qayamat si aa bane
hum pahle meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye....


Shaad sahab ki tarah maine bhi lafz "ulfataaN" pehle naheeN dekha hai lekin
intuitively aur logically sahi lag raha hai. Aur jis situation meiN ye misre meiN aaya hai, wahaaN is ke alaawa aur koyee substitute lafz bhi khayaal meiN naheeN aa raha hai. Lekin is lafz ka pehle se chalan urdu zubaan meiN hai ki naheeN, is ka ilm naheeN hai mujhe.

actually fit lagta hai magar koi misaal nahi mili mujhe.

jaanaN, butaaN, yaraaN,dushmanaaN...sab animate nouns hai.

shaadaaN , raksaaN.... compound verbing hai, if conjugated.

mujhe 'ulfataaN' , jo inanimate hai , iski misaal nahi mili....kyuki phir mahabattaaN, ashkaaN ko roka nahi jaa sakta...i guess it is wrong.



PS : aap ki "exercises" hamaare liye "lessons" ka kaam kar rahi haiN Zidd sahab

what i did was to provoke a discusssion....ek sehatmand bahs( healthy debate...big Lollz) ke liye.

carry on..u doing yeoman service.



Waah !!! Behtareen aur pur asar !!! Mere hisaab se sher khul bhi gaya hai aur saath hi tez (sharp) bhi ho gaya hai !!

Aur aap ki hausla afzai bahaut maayne rakhti hai. Bahaut bahaut shukriya aap ka !!


is meiN achchhe naheeN magar “zarraa”
aadat-e-shayari naheeN jaati
   
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8th July 2014, 12:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
Zainy ji, is sher ke baad aap ko back bench mein baithane ki ijaazat naheen hogi. Aap ko front ki benches main hi baithna hoga


WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

bala ki naaz-o-adaa hai is sher mein. badi nazaakat se aap ne daar-o-rasan par baat kahi. dheron daad !!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by aadeil View Post
lo...... kar lo baat............
apne aap ko student (wo bhii last bencher) kehte kehte kya zabardast sher keh gayee.n aap.....

aapke sher ne toh hamaare dil ko hi kharaash kar diya, Zainyji......... ab mo.amma yeh hai ki daaru-e-shifaa kahaa.n se dhunde... LOLzzz

bahot hi khubsurat bayaanaat kii hai aapne...... kya manzar baandhii hai.... waah waah........... aur ishq ka daar-o-rashan bataa kar toh aapne ek ishq ka alag andaaz dikha diya... waaah....... . aapke ab tak dekhe andaaz se yeh andaaz bilkul hi alag rahaa...... DIL SE DHERON............... DAAAAAAD

Bohat bohat shukriyaH aap dono ka...is nacheez ki itni tareef ke liye...

Mashkoor huun aap dono ki...




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

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8th July 2014, 12:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zidd View Post
Kisko bhala dikhate ho daar o rasan ka khauff
Dil se abhi gayaa hi kaha baankpan ka khauff

==========================
Kya tegh e ulfataaN ke qayamat si aa bane
Kya tegh e ulfat ab ke qayamat si aa bane

Hum pahle zer e daar the daar o rasan liye
Hum pahle meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye
hum khud hi meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye
khud pahle meherbaa huye daar o rasan liye

------------------
practice sher hai isliye sari exercise yaha rakh raha hu zarra sirji.

-------------------

ulfataaN par feedback invited hai
Superb word play................................




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

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8th July 2014, 12:10 PM

"daar-o-rasan" par ek koshish qit'a ki shakl mein ...

hum ko n kuchh bhi farq khizaan-o-bahaar meiN
kaaNte chuna hi karte haiN aksar chaman ke hum
badleN qaza ke khauf se jeene ka kyooN chalan
jeete haiN yooN bhi saaye meiN daar-o-rasan ke hum

-zarraa


is meiN achchhe naheeN magar “zarraa”
aadat-e-shayari naheeN jaati
   
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sameer'shaad'
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8th July 2014, 12:59 PM

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Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
"daar-o-rasan" par ek koshish qit'a ki shakl mein ...

hum ko n kuchh bhi farq khizaan-o-bahaar meiN
kaaNte chuna hi karte haiN aksar chaman ke hum
badleN qaza ke khauf se jeene ka kyooN chalan
jeete haiN yooN bhi saaye meiN daar-o-rasan ke hum

-zarraa
kyaa baat hai yaar... ab kya qatl karoge... bahot hi khoob qitaaa hai


Shaad...
   
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zainy
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zainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.comzainy is the among the best Shayars at Shayri.com
 
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8th July 2014, 01:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
"daar-o-rasan" par ek koshish qit'a ki shakl mein ...

hum ko n kuchh bhi farq khizaan-o-bahaar meiN
kaaNte chuna hi karte haiN aksar chaman ke hum
badleN qaza ke khauf se jeene ka kyooN chalan
jeete haiN yooN bhi saaye meiN daar-o-rasan ke hum

-zarraa

wah ....bohat khoob..................




Zainy


PalkoN ki baand ko tod ke daaman pe aa gira
Ek aaNsu mere zabt ki tauheen kar gaya...

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Thumbs up 8th July 2014, 01:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zarraa View Post
"daar-o-rasan" par ek koshish qit'a ki shakl mein ...

hum ko n kuchh bhi farq khizaan-o-bahaar meiN
kaaNte chuna hi karte haiN aksar chaman ke hum
badleN qaza ke khauf se jeene ka kyooN chalan
jeete haiN yooN bhi saaye meiN daar-o-rasan ke hum

-zarraa
Ziyaarat e Daar o rasan, zaroree nahee hai ab,
Zarraa kay qitay nay hai dhaaya aysa kuch ghazab!

MashaAllah Zarraa bhaaee!! Ghazab qita ataa kiyaa hai aapnay!


Duagoh

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