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~.. khaab ki tabeer hone se rahi |
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(#1)
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~.. khaab ki tabeer hone se rahi -
8th November 2010, 10:28 AM
Salaam namstey  choti si ghazal nazr kar raha hun, chahe jaisa salook kareN ( 2122 2122 212) खाब की ताबीर होने से रही ऐसी भी तकदीर होने से रही पहले सी झुकती नहीं तेरी नज़र अब कमां ये तीर होने से रही चाहे जितने रंग भर लो खाब के पानी मे तस्वीर होने से रही कर लो पैना फ़िक्र' जितनी तुम कलम जौक, ग़ालिब, मीर, होने से रही _______ khaab ki tabeer hone se rahi aisi bhi taqdeer hone se rahi pahle si jhukti nahi teri nazar ab kamaaN ye teer hone se rahi chache jitne rang bhar lo khbaab ke paani mai tasveer hone se rahi kar lo paina ' fikr' jitni tum qalam Zouk, Ghalib, Meer, hone se rahi |
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(#2)
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Ankahi Kahaani
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Location: USA
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8th November 2010, 12:52 PM
Quote:
 ...uuuummmmm Baatein Masoom si aur ghazalein aap ki aftaab si rahi, aap naa jaane Fikr ki aap ki kalam toofaan si chal rahi, Dosh humaara kya jo na kar paaye tareef in shabdo ki, Dost Ji ko de daad humaari daad mai wo baat kab rahi, ab iss se jyaada bayaan nahi kar sakte ki ... aap ki ghazal kaisi lagi .... so aap ke style mai ... humne jesa chaahe sulook kar liya hai ...  Apna khayaal rakhiyegaBhagwaan Ji aap ko har khushi de, Aapki Dost: Gudia Jay Ambe Puri Hoke Bhi Jo Puri Na Ho Hoon Zindagi Ki Wo Ankahi Kahaani...... ------------------------------------------------------------ Ek Aaina Jiski Tasveer Dhundhla Gai, Ek Dil Jiski Dhadkan Ruksi Gai, Ek Zindagi Jiski Manzil Ka Koi Pata Hi Nahi, Ek Daaman Jahaan Se Khushiyaan Galti Se Bhi Guzarti Nahi. |
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(#3)
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~$uper M0der@tor~
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8th November 2010, 12:59 PM
bahot khoob likha hai janumanu... ehsaas behad pasand aaye.. yoon hi likhte rahen
maqta kabile tareef tha. aapka bhai shaad... |
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(#4)
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RADHE RADHE
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Location: DELHI
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8th November 2010, 01:28 PM
vikas bhai
radhe radhe bahut khoob...............daad dil se kubul karen duaon ke saath Aapka Apna Ishk 'इश्क' के बदले इश्क चाहना तिजारत है इज़हार किससे करें महबूब तो दिल में है email: rkm179@gmail.com 
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(#5)
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Anshumali
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Location: DELHI (INDIA)
Rep Power: 87
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8th November 2010, 06:48 PM
chache jitne rang bhar lo khbaab ke
paani mai tasveer hone se rahi Bahut khoob raha aapka yeh khayal ... Vikas Ji ! matlaa bhi pehli pasand raha ... aise hi likhte rahen aage bhi ... khush rahen ... duaaon ke saath ...  YuuN Besabab Aansoo Aate NahiN Lag Zaroor Koii Baat Dil Ko Rahii Hai ... Fareb Kaa ChaDhtaa Bazaar Dekh Insaaf Se Bastii Khaalii Ho Rahii Hai ... ---Naresh Mehra---- |
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(#6)
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Delhi.(India)
Rep Power: 37
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8th November 2010, 07:46 PM
Quote:
bahut khoob likkha hai aapne choti si ghazal mein bahut kuch likh diya aapne.... aise hi likjhte rahein... taecaer jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai uth jati hai kalam likhne ko wo pyar deewana hota hai kar deti hai haal-e-dil bayaan wo kalaam shayraana hota hai jab yaad karte hai kisi ko wo waqt suhana hota hai... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* duniya mein kitna gam hai apna gam phir bhi kam hai ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* |
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(#7)
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Banned
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Location: New Delhi
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9th November 2010, 03:55 PM
Quote:
god bless..... achy logo ki sohbat mai raho ... aur aise hi raho |
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(#8)
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Banned
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9th November 2010, 03:56 PM
Quote:
rahi maqte ki baat to sachi bateN achi hi hoti haiN |
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(#9)
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Location: Mumbai
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9th November 2010, 04:58 PM
Subhan_allah mere bhai bohat bohat shaandaar rahi peshkash..........bas kamaa.N ka teer hona yeh misra thoda ajeeb laga uske alawaaa har sher par karodo daad tumhe.
Rep++++ Par tujhe bevafa bhi kehna achcha nahi lagta... Mob.: +971 501297654
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(#10)
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Registered User
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Rep Power: 47
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10th November 2010, 09:33 AM
khaab ki tabeer hone se rahi
aisi bhi taqdeer hone se rahi tecnical angle se perfect sher kaha hai aapne. bus bahut is tarah ka suna hai ...tadbeer aur taabeer ke combination ki zameen ab banjar hai.isme koi kuch nahi ugaa sakta ab. varna sher to accha tha pahle si jhukti nahi teri nazar ab kamaaN ye teer hone se rahi hahahhaa... accha sher hai....bus zara samjhne ke liye mawaali wala background chaiye mere khayaal se agar kisi tarah ulaa me lafz 'ankhen' hota to sher khul jata magar kya kare ...jo bandish hai so to hai good attempt chache jitne rang bhar lo khbaab ke paani mai tasveer hone se rahi hmmmm  misra e saani accha hai...magar ulaa kuch aur hota to accha hota... ek -2 suraten aapko batata lekin mujhe pata hai ki apko surat sunna accha nahi lagta kisise.. ek koshish aur kijiye yaha..... is sher ka lehza aur adaigi magar best rahi is ghazal me kar lo paini ' fikr' jitni tum qalam Zouk, Ghalib, Meer, hone se rahi bataulebaazi hogayi ab.......sirf bharti. ------------------------- magar ab aapki tecnic ki pakad aTooT hai.... ghazal apki ye khas hai... sentence construction bahut seedha hai.....jaisa hona chaiye.... is ghazal ka tense kamaal hai har jagah ..aur khas kar apke maqte me....perfect tense ka combination. yun samjh lijiye ki tecnique ek rasta hai jispar ashaar ki ghadi chalti hai... aapne to highway bana liya hai...bhale uspar ambasador chala rahe hai filhaal....mujhe yakeen hai ab us highway par 1-2 mahine me rolls royce chalne lagegi tecnically perfect..metrically ,gramatically and poetically...... bus ab car upgrade karte rahiye. |
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(#11)
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Tanhaa Raahi
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11th November 2010, 12:57 PM
khaab ki tabeer hone se rahi
aisi bhi taqdeer hone se rahi pahle si jhukti nahi teri nazar ab kamaaN ye teer hone se rahi chahe jitne rang bhar lo khaab ke paani mai tasveer hone se rahi kar lo paini ' fikr' jitni tum qalam Zouk, Ghalib, Meer, hone se rahi Bahut accha laga aapka kalaam, Vikas Bhaayi...! Quoted sher is awesome Quote:
Keep it up Haqeekat meri jaaN liye jaa rahi hai 
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(#12)
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Banned
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Location: New Delhi
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11th November 2010, 01:19 PM
Quote:
ek -2 suraten aapko batata lekin mujhe pata hai ki apko surat sunna accha nahi lagta kisise.. Are ye apne kis se sun liyaa, jisse bhi suna hoga...... uski zubaan mai fislan hogi bhayee........ aap batayeN hum na mane, ye to ho hi nahi sakta ... fir aap kabse auroN ki maanne lage ..... apne takhluss pe jayeN humesha ........!! kuch line hai, jagjit sahab ne gayee haiN, likhaa jane kisne ... tumne agar suna nahi , kissa-e-gham sunega kaun kisi zubaaN khulegi fir, lab na agar tum hilaa sake plzz batayeN zaroor........ aur kaun batayega, aur bataya bhi kisne hai ........!! rest thanx , aur car upgrade karne ki koshish mai hun par, apne bas mai jo hai kar raha huN ........ shayed ye baat khud hi aati hai, so khud hi aayegi,, baaki kheench-taan ke le to aaya hun ...... regards |
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(#13)
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MaiN Our Meri Tanhaayii
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Location: Delhi
Rep Power: 31
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11th November 2010, 02:15 PM
Quote:
Harash |
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(#14)
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Registered User
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11th November 2010, 07:19 PM
Fikr sahab aadab ,,
Takhir ke liye mazrat ,, Apki ghazal nazar nawaz howi ,, Ghazal ka har har sher mukkamal hai ,, Aisi purmagaz , pur acar , pur kashish , purlutf , o murassa ghazal ke liye ap ik nahi balke hazarah dad ke mustahiq hain ...saath hi saath mubarak baad bhi khubool ho ...allah apko mazeed taraqiyun se nawaze .. takhalus pasand aaya .....apki shaqsiyat pe mabni hai ... dua go qadeertoopchi |
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(#15)
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beautiful moment.........
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Posts: 6,429
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: u.s.a
Rep Power: 42
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11th November 2010, 08:08 PM
Quote:
wahhhhhh... bahut khoob bani hai aapki ye chhoti si ghazal... dil se daad hazir hai... yuhi koshish jaari rakhiye... likhte rahiye.... khush rahiye.... rep++++++++++++++++++++added  "LAMHA"mujhko acchaa nahiiN lagtaa ko’ii hamnaam teraa , ko’ii tujhsaa ho to phir naam bhii tujhsaa rakhe.... |
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(#16)
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Moderator
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Location: Chandigarh (Mohali)
Rep Power: 63
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11th November 2010, 08:37 PM
खाब की ताबीर होने से रही
ऐसी भी तकदीर होने से रही पहले सी झुकती नहीं तेरी नज़र अब कमां ये तीर होने से रही चाहे जितने रंग भर लो खाब के पानी मे तस्वीर होने से रही कर लो पैनी ' फ़िक्र' जितनी तुम कलम जौक, ग़ालिब, मीर, होने से रही Vikas jii................bahut khoob ahsaas pesh kiye haiN aapne, accha laga padkar, aur last wala sher dil ke khaas kareeb raha. god bless u .....Sunita Thakur..... यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया ....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए... 
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(#17)
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Registered User
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Location: Waltham, MA
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12th November 2010, 01:49 AM
kar lo paini ' fikr' jitni tum qalam
Zouk, Ghalib, Meer, hone se rahi excellent JanuManu....................... किसी में शाम न मिली तो किसी में सहर नहीं |
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(#18)
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masttt...
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Location: Chandigarh
Rep Power: 40
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13th November 2010, 10:00 PM
kar lo paini ' fikr' jitni tum qalam
Zouk, Ghalib, Meer, hone se rahi wah...wah...!!! kya baat hai vikas bhai...ye bahut hi badhiya hai, padhte hi laga ki mere ehsaas mere haiN aur alfaaz aapke... daad hi daad is sher ke liye.... Uss Rizk Se Tau Maut Bhali Jis Rizk Se Aatee Ho Tere Parwaaz MeiN Kotaahi.... vikramjethi@gmail.com |
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(#19)
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'Bismil'
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Rep Power: 38
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15th November 2010, 10:06 AM
yeh khyaaloeN ki saadgi..yeh adaayegi kahin aur nahi nazar aati. daad
chaahe jitne rang bhar lo khbaab ke paani mai tasveer hone se rahi gore ghareeban hai ye 'bismil', kyun tu naashaad nazar aata hai? musht-e-khaak hai basi yahan, bata kahan fuwaad nazar aata hai? -------------------------------------------------- |
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(#20)
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Registered User
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15th November 2010, 03:17 PM
Quote:
aadaab bahot khoob naazuk khiyaalat ne samaan baandh diyaa masood hassaas |
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(#21)
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Banned
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Location: New Delhi
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8th November 2011, 01:15 PM
Quote:
................... |
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(#22)
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Banned
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Location: New Delhi
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8th November 2011, 01:16 PM
Quote:
shukriyaaa bismil bhayeeee .............. .................... |
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