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Kareen rehta hai
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trialbyfire
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Kareen rehta hai - 24th June 2015, 06:07 PM
Ek baar pukar mera naam dheeme se paas aake
Iss dil ko teri hi awaaz ka intezzar rehta hai

Chod gaye yun to rahon mai tum akela karke mujhe
Phir kyon tere saath hone ka har pal ehsaas rehta hai

Dekh to sahi meri ankhon mai chupe hue ansoon ko
Kis kadar inhe tere sang jeene ka khwab rehta hai

Yun to beet gayin sadiya tumhari ek jhalak dekhe hue
Par yeh dil aaj bhi tere ek deedar ko bekaraar rehta hai

Jaanti hoon tumhe paana kal bhi namumkin tha aur aaj bhi
par tumhare paas hone ke ehsaas se mera dil kush rehta hai

kiya tha vaada khudse ke bhula doongi tumhari har ek yaad
Par yeh bewafa dil aaj bhi teri hi yadon se bhara rehta hai
   
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masti
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24th June 2015, 06:20 PM
Bohut pyaare ehsaas.

Bohut pasand aaye, dil ko choo Gaye.

Aap aur bhi acha likh sakti hain aisa mujhe laga, apko jab waqt mile to shayri Ki pathshala wale forum par nazar daudaayein apka hunar aur bhi nikhar jayega.

-Apki Dost
Sarika
   
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trialbyfire
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25th June 2015, 06:26 PM
Sarika didi...aapko yahan dekhke bahaut khushi hui...shukriya aapko mere ehsaas pasand aaye. Bas yun hi likh lete hain...I know bahaut mistakes aur technically dekha jaaye to khoob galtiyan dikhengi...I will definitely go through shayri ki paathshala.

Shukriya ek baar phir se itne apnepan ka.
   
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25th June 2015, 08:19 AM
sweet ji dil ko chho lene wale bahut sweet ehsaas is baar bhi...sarika ji ki baat se sahmat hoon main aap aur bhi achcha likh sakti hain...mashq jari rakhiye...likhte rahiye....


अर्ज मेरी एे खुदा क्या सुन सकेगा तू कभी
आसमां को बस इसी इक आस में तकते रहे
madhu..
   
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trialbyfire
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25th June 2015, 06:27 PM
Madhu ji, aapka reply apni post pe dekh kar bahaut acacha lagta hai...honestly saying I feel as if I have written something really good. Shukriya aapke haunsla afzaai ka...thank You
   
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trialbyfire
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25th June 2015, 06:29 PM
Pulkit ji, shukriya ki aap ehsaas mehsoos kar paaye. Shukriya yahan aane ka aur appreciate karne ka. I will definitely do koshish to write on love. Aage bhi aise hi saath dete rahiyega. Take care!
   
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trialbyfire
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25th June 2015, 06:30 PM
Shaad ji, aapne kuch jyada hi tareef kardi pata nahi itni tareef ke kabil bhi hai ki nahi yeh post. Shukriya yahan aane ka aur itna appreciate karne ka. Aapne bahaut time se kuch likha nahi hai umeed hai aapka likha kuch jald hi padhne ko milega.

Shukriya ek baar phir se. Aise hi saath banaye rakhiyega.
   
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trialbyfire
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25th June 2015, 06:31 PM
Sunita didi, shukriya itne pyar bhare mess ka. Aapki baton mai hamesha bahaut apnapan hota hai...haan didi who sab to zindagi mai laga rehta hai. Aap dhyan rakhiyega aur apna saath yuhin banaye rakhiyega.
   
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25th June 2015, 08:31 AM
Namaskar,

Ek baar fir dil ko cheer dene waale ehsaas. Lagta hai kisi bewafa se wafa karne ki bhool ho gayi aapse. Dard to bahut hai aapke ehsaasaat me but I am sure yeh dard ke peecche bhi pyaar hai to ek baar us pe likhiye.

Chod gaye yun to rahon mai tum akela karke mujhe
Phir kyon tere saath hone ka har pal ehsaas rehta hai

Yeh sher khaas dard waala laga aur ispe ek misra yaad aaya "Kucch to majbooriyan rahi hongi unki bhi, yun hi koi bewafa nahin hota".

Aap yunhi likhti rahiye aur mehfil raushan karti rahiye! Dil se dheron daad aapke liye Anamika ji (since we don't know your name )

Kab sochaa thha milegaa humsafar "Shweta" jaisaa
Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai
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sameer'shaad'
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25th June 2015, 09:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet_Rain View Post
Ek baar pukar mera naam dheeme se paas aake
Iss dil ko teri hi awaaz ka intezzar rehta hai

Chod gaye yun to rahon mai tum akela karke mujhe
Phir kyon tere saath hone ka har pal ehsaas rehta hai

Dekh to sahi meri ankhon mai chupe hue ansoon ko
Kis kadar inhe tere sang jeene ka khwab rehta hai

Yun to beet gayin sadiya tumhari ek jhalak dekhe hue
Par yeh dil aaj bhi tere ek deedar ko bekaraar rehta hai

Jaanti hoon tumhe paana kal bhi namumkin tha aur aaj bhi
par tumhare paas hone ke ehsaas se mera dil kush rehta hai

kiya tha vaada khudse ke bhula doongi tumhari har ek yaad
Par yeh bewafa dil aaj bhi teri hi yadon se bhara rehta hai

waahh sweet rain ji kyaa baat hai kyaa nagmaa hai aur kyaa khoobsurat khhayaalon se sajee huii kaviitaa hai...... bahut aalaa aur bahut dard se labrez kalaam hai...... dil sedher saarii duaaen aur shubh kaamnaaen is kavita ko likhne ke liye..... aatii rahiyegaa... aur likhtii rahiiyegaa.....

Reps added+++++++++++++++


Shaad......

Shaad...
   
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sunita thakur
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25th June 2015, 09:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet_Rain View Post
Ek baar pukar mera naam dheeme se paas aake
Iss dil ko teri hi awaaz ka intezzar rehta hai

Chod gaye yun to rahon mai tum akela karke mujhe
Phir kyon tere saath hone ka har pal ehsaas rehta hai

Dekh to sahi meri ankhon mai chupe hue ansoon ko
Kis kadar inhe tere sang jeene ka khwab rehta hai

Yun to beet gayin sadiya tumhari ek jhalak dekhe hue
Par yeh dil aaj bhi tere ek deedar ko bekaraar rehta hai

Jaanti hoon tumhe paana kal bhi namumkin tha aur aaj bhi
par tumhare paas hone ke ehsaas se mera dil kush rehta hai

kiya tha vaada khudse ke bhula doongi tumhari har ek yaad
Par yeh bewafa dil aaj bhi teri hi yadon se bhara rehta hai

Sweet ji.........bahut accha likha hai aapne, ehsaas dil ke kareeb rhe.....pyar aur dard to zindgi meiN saath saath chalte hai...so har haal meiN khush rho.

god bless u

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


.....Sunita Thakur.....

यह कह कर मेरा दुश्मन मुझे हँसते हुए छोड़ गया
....के तेरे अपने ही बहुत हैं तुझे रुलाने के लिए...


Last edited by sunita thakur; 25th June 2015 at 09:54 AM..
   
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Sagar Aashna
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25th June 2015, 03:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet_Rain View Post
Ek baar pukar mera naam dheeme se paas aake
Iss dil ko teri hi awaaz ka intezzar rehta hai

Chod gaye yun to rahon mai tum akela karke mujhe
Phir kyon tere saath hone ka har pal ehsaas rehta hai

Dekh to sahi meri ankhon mai chupe hue ansoon ko
Kis kadar inhe tere sang jeene ka khwab rehta hai

Yun to beet gayin sadiya tumhari ek jhalak dekhe hue
Par yeh dil aaj bhi tere ek deedar ko bekaraar rehta hai

Jaanti hoon tumhe paana kal bhi namumkin tha aur aaj bhi
par tumhare paas hone ke ehsaas se mera dil kush rehta hai

kiya tha vaada khudse ke bhula doongi tumhari har ek yaad
Par yeh bewafa dil aaj bhi teri hi yadon se bhara rehta hai
Bohot achhi koshish. Ehsaas achhe lage.
Likhte rahiye.

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