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Tanhayee
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prasaxena
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Smile Tanhayee - 7th June 2002, 11:38 PM

Adaab Ahl-e-Shayri.com

Bade dinoN ke baad zindagi ki masrifiyaat se kuchh pal chura ke ye ashaar kahe haiN. Ummeed karta hoon aap pasand karenge aur apne tassurat se nawazenge.
----------------------------

GHAZAL


Roz badalte mausam jaise kabhi na badli tanhayee
Isiliye humko lagti hai sabse achchi tanhayee

Khamoshi ki sard hawayen lekar aayee tanhayee
Dhoop khayal-e-yaar ki nikli, pal meiN pighli tanhayee

Lagta hai phir aaj sheher meiN koi tanha-tanha hai
Dhoond rahi hai phir koi dil door bhatakti tanhayee

Yadon ke jab phool khkileiN to dil ka aalam kya kahiye
Har lamhe meiN ghul jaati hai kisi mehek si tanhayee

VeeranoN ki chhat sir pe aur sannatoN ki deevareiN
Meri duniya hai itni si maiN aur meri tanhayee

Beetey huve khushrang paloN ke dil pe saye lehraye
Ik chandi ka moti ban kar aankh se tapki tanhayee

Besabri se har ek lamha wo bhi guzara karti hai
Sooraj dooba sham dhali aur ghar se nikli tanhayee

Uski zuban-e-khamoshi ko samjhna koi khel nahiN
Mehfil wale kya samjhenge kya hai kehti tanhayee

Khush hota huN to lagta hai har pal mujhko ae 'Praveen'
Merey naam na ho jaaye phir aaj kisii ki tanhayee


Praveen Saxena


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi

Last edited by prasaxena; 14th June 2002 at 02:31 PM..
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very nice
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guriya82
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very nice - 9th June 2002, 08:56 AM

hi praveen ji how r u i read ur post its so nice its just wonderful i don't have words to say how much i like it specially these lines were so good
Lagta hai phir aaj sheher meiN koi tanha-tanha hai
Dhoond rahi hai phir koi dil door bhatakti tanhayee

aapne sach mein bahut accha likha hai aage bhi likhte rehiyega
bbye take care
guriya


Let your heart guide you...but listen closely because it whispers
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Bahut khoob!!
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shumaila
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Thumbs up Bahut khoob!! - 9th June 2002, 06:02 PM

Adaab Praveen sahab!!

Jaisa ke pehle bhi hum aapki is ghazal ki taareef kahiN aur kar chuke haiN...ek baar phir batana chahte haiN ki waqaii bahut umda ghazal likhi hai aapne...tanhayee pe....very well said...sabhi ashaar bahut acche haiN..ye ashaar bahut pasand aaye!!

Roz badalte mausam jaise kabhi na badli tanhayee
Isiliye humko lagti hai sabse achchi tanhayee

Khamoshi ki sard hawayen lekar aayee tanhayee
Dhoop khayal-e-yaar ki nikli, pal meiN pighli tanhayee

Yadon ke jab phool khkileiN to dil ka aalam kya kahiye
Har lamhe meiN ghul jaati hai kisi mehek si tanhayee

VeeranoN ki chhat sir pe aur sannatoN ki deevareiN
Meri duniya hai itni si maiN aur meri tanhayee

Beetey huve khushrang lamhoN ke dil pe saye lehraye
Ek chandi ka moti ban kar aankh se tapki tanhayee

aur bhi sunate rahiyega..

DuaooN ke saath,
Shumaila



kabhi kisi ko muqammal jahan nahi milta
kahiiN zameeN to kahiiN aasmaN nahi milta!!
   
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nice ghaza ....
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kashmiri
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Thumbs up nice ghaza .... - 10th June 2002, 12:46 AM

aadab parveen ji ..

aapki ghazal pari ........ buhut hi peyari lage ....

khas karke ..ibtida men ye ashaar ..

Roz badalte mausam jaise kabhi na badli tanhayee
Isiliye humko lagti hai sabse achchi tanhayee

Khamoshi ki sard hawayen lekar aayee tanhayee
Dhoop khayal-e-yaar ki nikli, pal meiN pighli tanhayee

Lagta hai phir aaj sheher meiN koi tanha-tanha hai
Dhoond rahi hai phir koi dil door bhatakti tanhayee

wah ji wah ......

aapki mazeed shari ka intizar rahe ga

ok bye

sagar kashmiri
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Re: very nice
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prasaxena
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Smile Re: very nice - 10th June 2002, 07:08 PM

Hi Guriya

Ghazal aapko pasand aayee aur hameiN laga hamari koshish kamyab huyi. Jis garmjoshi aur utsaah se aapne isey sraha hai woh waqai humeiN aur zyada achcha likhne ke liye inspire karega. Umeed hai hamare aagami kalam bhi apko pasand aayenge aur hameiN unpar aapke khayalaat janne ko milenge.

shukria
Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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Aapka bahut-bahut shukriya!!
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prasaxena
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Thumbs up Aapka bahut-bahut shukriya!! - 10th June 2002, 07:18 PM

Shumaila Sahiba

Hamari ghazal aapko pasand aayi yeh jaankar hameiN behud khushi hui. Aur apne mukhtalif andaaz meiN jis tarah aapne uski tareef ki hai usney hamarey josh aur hauley ko aur baRhaya hai. HameiN aur achchey ashaaar kehney ke liye ispire kiya hai. Aur sabse badi baat to ye ke do-do jagahoN par aapki tareef naseeb hui. Aapka bahut shukria is khubsoorat daad ke liye.

Urdustaan par Muqable mein aapki ghazal parhi aur achchi bhi khoob lagi aur ab wo is site par bhi hai uski tareef hum alag se aapki post ke saath hi post kar rahe hain.

shukria aur duaon ke saath

Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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Re: nice ghaza ....
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prasaxena
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Thumbs up Re: nice ghaza .... - 10th June 2002, 07:27 PM

aadab sagar sahab

aapne ghazal ko pasand kiya uskey liye meri janib se buhut-bahut shukriya qubool farmaiye.

Aapke kaalm bhi meiNey barabar paRhey hain is site par, aur khaas taur par aapke ek kalaam par to meiN aapko mubarkbaad dena chahta tha jo waqt ki wajah se nahiN likh paya. Aur wo meiN aapko aapki post meiN hi pesh karoonga.

Filhaal is ghazal ko aapne pasand farmaya uskey liye phir ek baar aapka bahut shukria. Umeed karta hoon aapki besqimat rai aagami posts par bhi milti rahegi.


nacheez

Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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aadab parveen ji ...
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aadab parveen ji ... - 11th June 2002, 02:51 AM

tasleemat ....

bhai ji ..... aapko bande ka kalam pasan aaya .... aapki nawazish ... mera kalam acha nahin balke parne wala ka zoq acha he ...... bas ham aapas men dost dost ek dosre se sekhte hen ... sach much buhut hi acha lagta he ......

kher ......... ham aapke kalam ke aainda bhi muntazir rahen ge ...

ok ....

bye ....

SAGAR KASHMIRI
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beautifully said!
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Mahek
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Thumbs up beautifully said! - 12th June 2002, 10:48 PM

Namaste Parveen jee - achchi ghazal likhi hai
- yeh sher sabse jyada pasand aaya!
Quote:
Yadon ke jab phool khkileiN to dil ka aalam kya kahiye
Har lamhe meiN ghul jaati hai kisi mehek si tanhayee
- bahut khoob!
Quote:
VeeranoN ki chhat sir pe aur sannatoN ki deevareiN
Meri duniya hai itni si maiN aur meri tanhayee
- wah wah !
Quote:
Besabri se har ek lamha wo bhi guzara karti hai
Sooraj dooba sham dhali aur ghar se nikli tanhayee
- likhte rehna.

- Mahek -


zindagI jab bhI terI bazm mein LAtI hai hamein
ye zamIn chAnd se behatar nazar AtI hai hamein

surkh phUlon se MAHEK uThatI hain dil kI rAhen
din Dhale yUN terI AvAz bulAtI hai hamein
----------------------------------------------
taeray Gham ki KhuShbu say jism-o-jaaN MAHEK uTThay
saaNs ki havaa jab bhi Choo kay maeray lab guzri

aek saath reh kay bhi, door hi rahay ham bhi
dhoop aur Chaa'ooN ki dosti ajab guzri
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Re: beautifully said!
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prasaxena
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Thumbs up Re: beautifully said! - 13th June 2002, 09:59 PM

Adaab Mahek Sahiba

Ek baar phir aapke is khaas andaaz-e-daad ne mujhe lajawaab kar diya. Badi tafseel se aapne ghazal ki tareef ki hai. Aapko ghazal pasand aayi is baat ne hausla badhaya aur ek sukoon ka ehsaas diya. Ummed karta hooN ke aapke tassurat aise hi mujhe aainda kalamoN par bhi milte rahenge.

Shukria phir ek baar

Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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maikasH
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14th June 2002, 10:34 AM

praveen sahab

aadaab

bhaii aapki yeh ghazal bohat pasaNd aayi....mubarak ho..baDi umdaa kaavish hai...!!

do-ek baateiN zehan meiN aayiiN to arz kar raha huuN

Roz badalte mausam jaise kabhi na badli tanhayee
Isiliye humko lagti hai sabse achchi tanhayee

matla khuub hai...lekin duusra misra meiN khayaal ke lihaaz se zara si tarmiim darkaar hai.....

Khamoshi ki sard hawayen lekar aayee tanhayee
Dhoop khayal-e-yaar ki nikli, pal meiN pighli tanhayee

is ash'aar meiN dono misroN meiN rabt kuch kamzor lagaa......aap kya kehan chah rahe haiN ho sake to bataiyegaa

Lagta hai phir aaj sheher meiN koi tanha-tanha hai
Dhoond rahi hai phir koi dil door bhatakti tanhayee

bohat khuub...bohat hi khuub....!!

Yadon ke jab phool khkileiN to dil ka aalam kya kahiye
Har lamhe meiN ghul jaati hai kisi mehek si tanhayee

WAH....mubarak ho...umdaa she'r hai

VeeranoN ki chhat sir pe aur sannatoN ki deevareiN
Meri duniya hai itni si maiN aur meri tanhayee

ye sh'e bhi khuub raha.....

Beetey huve khushrang lamhoN ke dil pe saye lehraye
Ek chandi ka moti ban kar aankh se tapki tanhayee

is she'r ke pehle misre meiN lafz "lamhoN" ..."lamoN" ki aawaaz de raha hai...aur agar isey "lamhoN" hi paDha jaye to baha'r khaariz ho rahi hai......aur doosre misre meiN "ek" ki jagah "ik" likhiye

Besabri se har ek lamha wo bhi guzara karti hai
Sooraj dooba sham dhali aur ghar se nikli tanhayee


kya kehne....marhaba......!!

Uski zuban-e-khamoshi ko samjhna koi khel nahiN
Mehfil wale kya samjhenge kya hai kehti tanhayee

bohat hi achcha she'r hai lekin pehle misre meiN lafz "samajhna" bah'r toD raha hai......

Khush hota huN to lagta hai har lamha mujhko ae 'Praveen'
Merey naam na ho jaaye phir aaj kisii ki tanhayee

wallah....bohat achche....maqta khuub kaha hai aapne....pehle misre meiN "lamha" ki jagah ya to "pal" likhiye aur agar aap lafz-e-lamha hi baratna chahte haiN to "ae" ko nikaal dijiye phir misra bah'r meiN aa jayega......

kuch na-munaasib kaha gaya ho to khabar kijiyega.....mere ilm meiN bhi kuch izaafaa ho jayega....

baharhaal....ek khoobsuurat ghazal kehpe par meri mubarakbaad...aapke agle kalaam ka iNtezaar rahega

tab tak ke liye ijaazat
maikasH


.........................................

is tarhe teri yaad meiN har shaam dhaley hai
goyaa koyi nagin si kalejey pe chaley hai

maikash
...............................
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Shukria aapka
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prasaxena
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Thumbs up Shukria aapka - 14th June 2002, 02:17 PM

Maikash Sahab
aadaab


Yeh ghazal aapne pasaNd kii aapka shukria. Aapki rai aur daad merey liye badii aham hai.


(Roz badalte mausam jaise kabhi na badli tanhayee
Isiliye humko lagti hai sabse achchi tanhayee)

aapne kaha hai to doosre misre ke liye koi aur khayal azma kar dekhenge jo yahaN theek se jame.

(Khamoshi ki sard hawayen lekar aayee tanhayee
Dhoop khayal-e-yaar ki nikli, pal meiN pighli tanhayee
is ash'aar meiN dono misroN meiN rabt kuch kamzor lagaa......aap kya kehan chah rahe haiN ho sake to bataiyegaa)


Dekhiye is ghazal meiN maine tanhayee ko romanticise karne ki koshish kii hai. Isiliye maine kehna chaha hai ke jab alam ho ekdum khamoshi aur akelepan ka to aise meiN apne mehboob ka faqat khayal hi dil ki tanhayee ko door kar deta hai jaise ke dhoop barf ko phighla deti hai.


(Beetey huve khushrang lamhoN ke dil pe saye lehraye
Ek chandi ka moti ban kar aankh se tapki tanhayee)

Aapka kehana durust hai lamhoN yahaN lamoN ki awaaz de raha hai. To usey meine paloN karke dekha hai jo mujhe behtar laga. Aapka kya khyal hai? Aur doosre misre meiN bhi meiN ne apne paas use ik hi likha hai jo maiN yahaN bhi theek kar doonga.



(Khush hota huN to lagta hai har lamha mujhko ae 'Praveen'
Merey naam na ho jaaye phir aaj kisii ki tanhayee
wallah....bohat achche....maqta khuub kaha hai aapne....pehle misre meiN "lamha" ki jagah ya to "pal" likhiye aur agar aap lafz-e-lamha hi baratna chahte haiN to "ae" ko nikaal dijiye phir misra bah'r meiN aa jayega......)
YahaN bhi meiN aapki rai se ittefaq rakhta hoon aur ek din meiN apne ek dost ke saath is ghazal ko compose karne ki koshish kar raha tha to waise to yae meter meiN aagaya lekin 'pal' karne se thoda easy raha.


(kuch na-munaasib kaha gaya ho to khabar kijiyega.....mere ilm meiN bhi kuch izaafaa ho jayega....)
Aap aisa qataii na socheiN aapki rai bade maane rakhti hai aur jis andaz meiN aap tabsara karte haiN wo bhi apne aap meiN khoob hai. Aapki har baat ke liye bahut shukriya phir ek baar.

khaksaar
Praveen


raah meiN hi manziloN ka zikr mat chedo Praveen
manziloN ne sun liya toh aur woh badh jaayeNgi
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meena chheda
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31st July 2004, 12:39 PM

mere BIG BUSY DOST,
tanhaai...........

yah labz apne aap maie kuchh n kahte bhi bahut kuchh kah deta hai ...

kabhi maun maie sathh chalti hai to
kabhi bhid maie sathh chalti hai..
kabhi aankh ki nami se gujarti hai to
kabhi mere honto ki hansi se jalakti hai
yah tanhaai khub mera sathh nibhati hai.

tumhari rachna mere dil ko chhu hi nahi gayi balki dil maie bas gayi kahu to jyada spasht kah paayi aisa lag raha hai.

kabhi aisa bhi hota hai k bahut kuchh kahna hota hai par jubaan nahi sathh deti... labz nahi sathh dete.
tum khud hi yaha mera maun padhh lo....

tumhari meena
   
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meena chheda
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31st July 2004, 01:09 PM

dost..........

ek shere meri pasand ka tumhe bataane aa gayi......


baahar gali maie chalte huae log thham gaye
tanhaaiyio ka shor thha khali makaan maie.

--------- zafar ikbaal
   
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sakhi1909
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Re: Tanhayee - 31st July 2004, 01:31 PM

Roz badalte mausam jaise kabhi na badli tanhayee
Isiliye humko lagti hai sabse achchi tanhayee

/achi suruaat lekin bhut saral apki lekhini phir se.
hota hai yahi jaise mausam badalata hai vaise hi kuch aur badalata hai lekin tanhaai wohi rahti hai/

Khamoshi ki sard hawayen lekar aayee tanhayee
Dhoop khayal-e-yaar ki nikli, pal meiN pighli tanhayee

/bhut khub kyaa baat hai.
uzli dhoop mein yaar kaa deedaar khyaaloin mein hi sahi g8t/


Lagta hai phir aaj sheher meiN koi tanha-tanha hai
Dhoond rahi hai phir koi dil door bhatakti tanhayee

/hey g8t again.

aapke dil ko pata lag gai ye kisi ki tanhaai.jarur milegaa woh apko phir to/

Yadon ke jab phool khkileiN to dil ka aalam kya kahiye
Har lamhe meiN ghul jaati hai kisi mehek si tanhayee
/baat to sahi hai tanhaai sab jagah fit ho jaati hai. kabhi kabhi bheed mein bhi/

VeeranoN ki chhat sir pe aur sannatoN ki deevareiN
Meri duniya hai itni si maiN aur meri tanhayee

/kya baat kah di hai is sher ke jariye.

mein yahan ye song yaad dolana chahungi .. koi ye kaise bataye ki woh tanhaa kyun hai.apka sher dil choo gya/

Beetey huve khushrang paloN ke dil pe saye lehraye
Ik chandi ka moti ban kar aankh se tapki tanhayee

/dil dukha gya itmein chipaa dard.
ek moti hamne bhi tapkaya hai aaj kisi ke liye ,
naa jaane ye ek ek karke kitne ho jayenge./

Besabri se har ek lamha wo bhi guzara karti hai
Sooraj dooba sham dhali aur ghar se nikli tanhayee

/acha hai ye sher bhi.ghar se kahan gai/

Uski zuban-e-khamoshi ko samjhna koi khel nahiN
Mehfil wale kya samjhenge kya hai kehti tanhayee

/yaa jab koi akelaaa hoga tabhi tanhaai ki bhashaa jaan payegaa.

yahn ye sher apke liye..

tanhaai mein jab likhta hun
baatein dil ki sab likhtaa hun
patjhad daal hawaa ke jhonke
mein tuta hun kab likhtaa hun./



Khush hota huN to lagta hai har pal mujhko ae 'Praveen'
Merey naam na ho jaaye phir aaj kisii ki tanhayee

/nahi agar kisi ki tanhaai apke naam hogi to woh aur apki tanhaai milke tanhaa kaha rahnge tanhaaiyoin ko bhi saath mil jayegaa./

bhut hi achi aur saral gazal hai apki
sakhi


कुछ ऐसे पल जिनको संजोना है ,
शब्दों में पिरोना है , जिससे वो हमारी यादों में महकते रहे
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Delhi
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31st July 2004, 03:01 PM

Pravin Bhai,

Humesha ki tarah bahut hi sundar ashaar likhe hain aapne.... Reaaly beautiful Words..... Please do keep the good work up ...

Isi tarah kucch samay apni masroofiyat me se nikalte rahiyega Take Care...


Kab sochaa thha milegaa humsafar "Shweta" jaisaa
Lagta hai is baar "Pulkit", kismat teri bhi rang laayii hai
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