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  (#41)
khan
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17th March 2004, 12:50 PM

Dear paras ab jab aapka diya huaa haq mast ne hamse cheen hi liya hai to chaliye un ko hi hausla dete hue un ke sher ko ghazal mein tabdeel karne ki koshish karte hain, ayr haan mast saahab hamko zara bhi buraa nahin laga balke khushi hui ki aapne kuchh kehne ki himmat to jutaayi. Chaliy aage barhte hain.........

teri haathon ki mehndi nikhar aayi
mere naam ke akshaar badal gaaye

silsila aage barhata hoon........

Abke barsaat ki rut bhi kuchh ajab aayee
muflisee mein bhi logon ke chhappar badal gaye
Sahil


regards
Sahil Khan
   
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  (#42)
talib
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17th March 2004, 01:26 PM

3rd Sher


teri haathon ki mehndi nikhar aayi
mere naam ke akshaar badal gaaye

Abke barsaat ki rut bhi kuchh ajab aayee
muflisee mein bhi logon ke chhappar badal gaye

Woh badla duniya badal gayee
rishtoN ke manzar badal gaaye


Ta- Gor Tumhara

Talib.
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  (#43)
Parastaar
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17th March 2004, 01:38 PM

Chautha (4th) sher

teri haathon ki mehndi nikhar aayi
mere naam ke akshaar badal gaaye

Abke barsaat ki rut bhi kuchh ajab aayee
muflisee mein bhi logon ke chhappar badal gaye

Woh badla duniya badal gayee
rishtoN ke manzar badal gaaye

Har ik sawan kee boond hasrat-e-ishtiyaaq le aayee
Tasavvur-e-khayalaat unke badan kee mehek badal gaye


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
   
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  (#44)
Afshan
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17th March 2004, 01:43 PM

5th Sher

teri haathon ki mehndi nikhar aayi
mere naam ke akshaar badal gaaye
-Mast

Abke barsaat ki rut bhi kuchh ajab aayee
muflisee mein bhi logon ke chhappar badal gaye
-Khan

Woh badla duniya badal gayee
rishtoN ke manzar badal gaaye
-Talib

Har ik sawan kee boond hasrat-e-ishtiyaaq le aayee
Tasavvur-e-khayalaat unke badan kee mehek badal gaye
-Paras

Thi naapasand ye tishnagi tumhe,
Mere jalwe hans kar badal gaye.


Tum chale jaaoge to sochenge... Humne kya khoya, humne kya paaya...
   
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  (#45)
Qasid
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17th March 2004, 06:35 PM

Bakhoob doston!!!

6th sher

teri haathon ki mehndi nikhar aayi
mere naam ke akshaar badal gaaye
-Mast

Abke barsaat ki rut bhi kuchh ajab aayee
muflisee mein bhi logon ke chhappar badal gaye
-Khan

Woh badla duniya badal gayee
rishtoN ke manzar badal gaaye
-Talib

Har ik sawan kee boond hasrat-e-ishtiyaaq le aayee
Tasavvur-e-khayalaat unke badan kee mehek badal gaye
-Paras

Thi naapasand ye tishnagi tumhe,
Mere jalwe hans kar badal gaye
-Banno

Baat sañjiidah ki to bhi aise shaqs se
aa'inah mein jiske dar badar badal gaaye



Qasid


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क्या है ज़हन में क्या बोल जाएँ

रफ़्तार-ए-दिल अब थम सी गयी है
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Old
  (#46)
manoj kureel
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30th March 2004, 05:32 PM

jo haste the kabhi saath hamare
gardish mein wo chehre badal gaye

-Manoj


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  (#47)
Parastaar
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30th March 2004, 05:38 PM

8th sher

teri haathon ki mehndi nikhar aayi
mere naam ke akshaar badal gaaye
-Mast

Abke barsaat ki rut bhi kuchh ajab aayee
muflisee mein bhi logon ke chhappar badal gaye
-Khan

Woh badla duniya badal gayee
rishtoN ke manzar badal gaaye
-Talib

Har ik sawan kee boond hasrat-e-ishtiyaaq le aayee
Tasavvur-e-khayalaat unke badan kee mehek badal gaye
-Paras

Thi naapasand ye tishnagi tumhe,
Mere jalwe hans kar badal gaye
-Banno

Baat sañjiidah ki to bhi aise shaqs se
aa'inah mein jiske dar badar badal gaaye
-mast

jo haste the kabhi saath hamare
gardish mein wo chehre badal gaye
-manoj

jab mile hum tum chehre khil gaye
bahaar aayi aur nazzare badal gaye


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
   
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  (#48)
Parastaar
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30th March 2004, 05:42 PM

teri haathon ki mehndi nikhar aayi
mere naam ke akshaar badal gaaye
-Mast

Abke barsaat ki rut bhi kuchh ajab aayee
muflisee mein bhi logon ke chhappar badal gaye
-Khan

Woh badla duniya badal gayee
rishtoN ke manzar badal gaaye
-Talib

Har ik sawan kee boond hasrat-e-ishtiyaaq le aayee
Tasavvur-e-khayalaat unke badan kee mehek badal gaye
-Paras

Thi naapasand ye tishnagi tumhe,
Mere jalwe hans kar badal gaye
-Banno

Baat sañjiidah ki to bhi aise shaqs se
aa'inah mein jiske dar badar badal gaaye
-mast

jo haste the kabhi saath hamare
gardish mein wo chehre badal gaye
-manoj

jab mile hum tum chehre khil gaye
bahaar aayi aur nazzare badal gaye
-paras


Waah Manoj...

kuch milta julta saa likha humne....tau dosto yeh ghazal bhi mukkammal huyi...ab aap mein koyi bhi dost nayi ghazal ka aghaaz apne sher se kar sakta hai...iss bazm ko sajaane kaa aap sabka tahe dil se shukriya....


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
   
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Old
  (#49)
manoj kureel
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30th March 2004, 05:54 PM

shukriya paras ji

ek sher arz kar raha hoon umeed hai aap doston ki madad se yeh jald hi gazal ke roop mein jawan hoga....

aankhon se aankhen ulajh jane mein deir nahin lagti
haath se dil ke nikal jane mein deir nahin lagti

-Manoj


apne usoolon par ham apne andaaz se chalte hai
karte hai jo "kureel" se gila karte rahein.
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  (#50)
Qasid
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31st March 2004, 05:25 AM

Bahut Khoob likha hai manoj ji aur yakeenan yeh bahut jald ghazal ka roop lega...pesh hai 2nd sher


aankhon se aankhen ulajh jane mein deir nahin lagti
haath se dil ke nikal jane mein deir nahin lagti
-Manoj

Log kehte hai isi ulfat ko nazar ka dhoka
Nazar Nazaron se mil jaane mein deir nahi lagti


Likhte RahiYeGaa

duaaon ke saath
-mast
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  (#51)
Parastaar
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31st March 2004, 12:55 PM

Ahmmmn Ahmmn...

teesra sher...3rd

aankhon se aankhen ulajh jane mein deir nahin lagti
haath se dil ke nikal jane mein deir nahin lagti
-Manoj

Log kehte hai isi ulfat ko nazar ka dhoka
Nazar Nazaron se mil jaane mein deir nahi lagti
-Mast

Humne nazar milaayi bhi nahin, wo kehne lage
Chashm-e-mast se qatl hone mein jaanaa, deir nahi lagti


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
   
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  (#52)
kshitiz
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7th April 2004, 04:05 PM

Paras sahiba .. adaab

aapki buzm me shirkat farma raha huN anjane me hui kisi gustakhi ke liye muafi talab karne ka haQ bakshne ki meharbani ki jiyega ..

aankhon se aankhen ulajh jane mein deir nahin lagti
haath se dil ke nikal jane mein deir nahin lagti
-Manoj

Log kehte hai isi ulfat ko nazar ka dhoka
Nazar Nazaron se mil jaane mein deir nahi lagti
-Mast

Humne nazar milaayi bhi nahin, wo kehne lage
Chashm-e-mast se qatl hone mein jaanaa, deir nahi lagti
-paras

aaj nazar bhar ke dekh lo hume kal ho naa ho
jaan dil sse juda ho jane meiN deir nahi lagti


andaaz

Last edited by kshitiz; 7th April 2004 at 04:07 PM..
   
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  (#53)
manoj kureel
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10th April 2004, 06:44 PM

aankhon se aankhen ulajh jane mein deir nahin lagti
haath se dil ke nikal jane mein deir nahin lagti
-Manoj

Log kehte hai isi ulfat ko nazar ka dhoka
Nazar Nazaron se mil jaane mein deir nahi lagti
-Mast

Humne nazar milaayi bhi nahin, wo kehne lage
Chashm-e-mast se qatl hone mein jaanaa, deir nahi lagti
-paras

aaj nazar bhar ke dekh lo hume kal ho naa ho
jaan dil sse juda ho jane meiN deir nahi lagti


kaarwan e ishq kab tak ruka rahega yun "kureel"
mausam e waqt ke badal jane mein deir nahin lagti

-Manoj Kureel


apne usoolon par ham apne andaaz se chalte hai
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  (#54)
sanjoo
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10th April 2004, 07:29 PM

manoj manoj manoj........yaar ap kai sheron ne tau...dil ka har taaR jhnkrrT kar diyaa....mere dost mere bhai bass huu likhte rahnaa.....dekhna ek din hum kahii ek makaam par apko payenge jahan se hume ye kehne mai fakrr hoga manoj ko hum jante hai woh humara dost hai....Sach....dil ka dard,dil ki awaaz sunaii detii hai ap kai ashaar mai.....

Ab sab ko iss khubsura kalaam ko pura karne kai liye tahe dilse mubarak..ab sab ne khub likha hai..shukriyaa!!

aaj nazar bhar ke dekh lo hume kal ho naa ho
jaan dil sse juda ho jane meiN deir nahi lagti

kaarwan e ishq kab tak ruka rahega yun "kureel"
mausam e waqt ke badal jane mein deir nahin lagti


Jindagi se to khair shikvaa tha,

muddato mout ne bhi tarsaaya hame..

.....
   
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  (#55)
Parastaar
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11th April 2004, 07:03 AM

Sanjoo,

gar tumne kasam todh hee dee thee yahan aane kee...tau kuch likh bhi dete na...yeh ghazal aur aage badhati...kya harj hai...itni akkad achi nahin ok...chupchaap wapis aao aur likh do kuch...samjhe...

Aur kshitiz...

aap yahaan aaye hamein itni khushi huyi...fir gustaakhi yaah muaafi ki baat na karein tau achha rahega...aapne sher bhi bahut umda kaha hai...aage bhi shirkat kijieygaa...


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan

Last edited by Parastaar; 11th April 2004 at 07:09 AM..
   
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  (#56)
Parastaar
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11th April 2004, 07:26 AM

chatta (6th) sher

aankhon se aankhen ulajh jane mein deir nahin lagti
haath se dil ke nikal jane mein deir nahin lagti
-Manoj

Log kehte hai isi ulfat ko nazar ka dhoka
Nazar Nazaron se mil jaane mein deir nahi lagti
-Mast

Humne nazar milaayi bhi nahin, wo kehne lage
Chashm-e-mast se qatl hone mein jaanaa, deir nahi lagti
-paras

aaj nazar bhar ke dekh lo hume kal ho naa ho
jaan dil sse juda ho jane meiN deir nahi lagti
-Kshitiz

kaarwan e ishq kab tak ruka rahega yun "kureel"
mausam e waqt ke badal jane mein deir nahin lagti
-manoj

na hum uthate nazar, na takraati nigahein
deeda-e-teer ka asar hone mein deir nahin lagti
-paras

kalam se baat karne wale shayars aur shayraas...kahan hain sub... aap sabka intezzar hai ki aayein aur "Nazzron" se aaj baat karke aage badhaayein janaab...shukriyaa...


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
   
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  (#57)
sanjoo
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11th April 2004, 10:27 AM

Hey.......Paras ap galat samjh rahii ho....yaar hum kyoo akdenge...yar hum itne kabil shayr nahi ki har mauzoo par likh paye..bich mai koshish kari thii..par baat nahi jamm patii hai..aur ap sab ke kalaam ko kharab kardenge..bass issi wazh se apki post par hazree nahi de pate hai...haan gar kalam ne kabhii saath diya tau zarur apse mashwara kar kai...kuch yahan bhii likh denge...ummid hai ap iss mai humaree madat karengii...jaise pehale bhii kiya kartii thii.......shukriyaa sanju ko apne iss kabil samjhaa......zarur koshish rahegii kuch likhne kii....Sanju!!!!


Jindagi se to khair shikvaa tha,

muddato mout ne bhi tarsaaya hame..

.....
   
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  (#58)
manoj kureel
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11th April 2004, 11:14 AM

sanju mere bhai
aapne hamari shayri ki dariya mein tareefon ke itne pul baandh diye hai ,,ki darta hoon is dariya mein kahin sailaab na aajaye...(just kidding)...waise yeh to aapki mahanta hai jo ek jarre mein bhi parbat dhoond lete hai aap....jo swam acha hota hai usko sab dunia sundar dikhti hai...aapki dariyadili ka shukriya kehne ke liye alfaaz nahin hai mere paas.,......aapka yahan aana hi bahoot badi hauslafzai hai....apna khayal rakhiye.,..
-Manoj


apne usoolon par ham apne andaaz se chalte hai
karte hai jo "kureel" se gila karte rahein.
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  (#59)
Mayank
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11th April 2004, 05:12 PM

Paras Sahibaa,

Pahli baar main iss mehfil mai kuch likhne ka himmat kar raha hooN. Sher~o~shayri se humaraa kuch gehraa naata tou nahi hai issliye dar lagtaa hai kahiiN galtii na ho jaye. Issiliye agar sher acchaa na lage tou ek taalib samjh kar maaf kijiyegaa.

Ghazal ka 7th sher

aankhon se aankhen ulajh jane mein deir nahin lagti
haath se dil ke nikal jane mein deir nahin lagti
-Manoj

Log kehte hai isi ulfat ko nazar ka dhoka
Nazar Nazaron se mil jaane mein deir nahi lagti
-Mast

Humne nazar milaayi bhi nahin, wo kehne lage
Chashm-e-mast se qatl hone mein jaanaa, deir nahi lagti
-paras

aaj nazar bhar ke dekh lo hume kal ho naa ho
jaan dil sse juda ho jane meiN deir nahi lagti
-Kshitiz

kaarwan e ishq kab tak ruka rahega yun "kureel"
mausam e waqt ke badal jane mein deir nahin lagti
-manoj

na hum uthate nazar, na takraati nigahein
deeda-e-teer ka asar hone mein deir nahin lagti
-paras

Kaantoo bharii raaheiN haiN manzil~e~mohabbat ki,
Dil toot jaane mai “Mayank”, yahaaN dair nahi lagtii

-Mayank



buraa jo dekhan mai.n Chalaa, buraa naa milyaa koye
jo mann Khojaa apnaa to mujh se buraa naa koye


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  (#60)
Shimul
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12th April 2004, 06:10 AM

Sabko Aadaab arz hein, Keya kahun? Gazal ki 8ma aur akhri sher.
Shukriya. Take care. God bless you All.

aankhon se aankhen ulajh jane mein deir nahin lagti
haath se dil ke nikal jane mein deir nahin lagti
-Manoj

Log kehte hai isi ulfat ko nazar ka dhoka
Nazar Nazaron se mil jaane mein deir nahi lagti
-Mast

Humne nazar milaayi bhi nahin, wo kehne lage
Chashm-e-mast se qatl hone mein jaanaa, deir nahi lagti
-paras

aaj nazar bhar ke dekh lo hume kal ho naa ho
jaan dil sse juda ho jane meiN deir nahi lagti
-Kshitiz

kaarwan e ishq kab tak ruka rahega yun "kureel"
mausam e waqt ke badal jane mein deir nahin lagti
-manoj

na hum uthate nazar, na takraati nigahein
deeda-e-teer ka asar hone mein deir nahin lagti
-paras

Kaantoo bharii raaheiN haiN manzil~e~mohabbat ki,
Dil toot jaane mai “Mayank”, yahaaN dair nahi lagtii
-Mayank

Yeh Ishq bhi ik Ibadat hai shimul...
ish Ishq mein Sajda karne mein deir nahin lagti.......

Keep smilling.......


*Aapni Parwaaz-e-Takhayyull Hain Zamane Se Juda
Jiss Jagah Koyi Na Pahuncha Wahaan Tak Pahunche
Main Samajhta Huun Harr Dil Mein Khuda Rehta Hain
Mera Paigam Mohabbat Hain Jaahan Tak Pahunche**
*~~~Ahsan Sherazi Jee~~~**

*Pure Love**
   
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Parastaar
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12th April 2004, 06:45 AM

Kya kehne...aap sabki shukrguzaar hoon ki aap ne aakar yahan iss ghazal ko poora kiya...Kshitiz, Mayank aur Shimul...you guys have made me so happy...yoonhi aate rehna...yahan kaafiya hum mein se kuch ne thheek se nahin barta...maine bhi nahin...Sharaabi sahib hain nahin yahan...nahin tau wo hamari mushqil aasaan karte...Aur Talib Sahib kaafi busy lagte hain nahin tau unse hee madad mang sakte thhe...khair ghazal kuch iss tarah se mukkammal huyi...

yahaan radeef 'jane mein deir nahin lagti'
aur shayad kafiyaa....'al' hona chahiye thaa...
jaise kee nikal, badal...vagairah vagairah...

aankhon se aankhen ulajh jane mein deir nahin lagti
haath se dil ke nikal jane mein deir nahin lagti
-Manoj

Log kehte hai isi ulfat ko nazar ka dhoka
Nazar Nazaron se mil jaane mein deir nahi lagti
-Mast

Humne nazar milaayi bhi nahin, wo kehne lage
Chashm-e-mast se qatl hone mein jaanaa, deir nahi lagti
-paras

aaj nazar bhar ke dekh lo hume kal ho naa ho
jaan dil sse juda ho jane meiN deir nahi lagti
-Kshitiz

kaarwan e ishq kab tak ruka rahega yun "kureel"
mausam e waqt ke badal jane mein deir nahin lagti
-manoj

na hum uthate nazar, na takraati nigahein
deeda-e-teer ka asar hone mein deir nahin lagti
-paras

Kaantoo bharii raaheiN haiN manzil~e~mohabbat ki,
Dil toot jaane mai “Mayank”, yahaaN dair nahi lagtii
-Mayank

Yeh Ishq bhi ik Ibadat hai shimul...
ish Ishq mein Sajda karne mein deir nahin lagti.......
-Shimul


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
   
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Shimul
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12th April 2004, 08:04 AM

Meri taraf se sabko Aadaab arz hein, Nayi ek Gazal ki pehla sher se shuruwat karne jaa rahi hu aur umeed karti hu aap sabko pasand ayegi. Shuru mein Ek gana se kar rahi hu lekin yeh sher nehi hai: Gaa raha hu ish mehfhil mein aapki Mohabbat hai*aaj hu mein jo kuch bhi woh aapki Inaayat hai*Zindegi se keisa shiqwa khudh se hi shiqayat hai*aaj hu mein jo kuch bhi woh aapki Inaayat hai.......

Gazal ki pehla sher arz hein: Iss umeed par ke Aap sab aakar isse pura karenge.......

Mohabbat kee nehi jaati yeh to Khuda Kee Rehmat hoti hai,
isse pehchano tau, Khuda Kee dee huyi khaas Nemat hoti hai.......



*Aapni Parwaaz-e-Takhayyull Hain Zamane Se Juda
Jiss Jagah Koyi Na Pahuncha Wahaan Tak Pahunche
Main Samajhta Huun Harr Dil Mein Khuda Rehta Hain
Mera Paigam Mohabbat Hain Jaahan Tak Pahunche**
*~~~Ahsan Sherazi Jee~~~**

*Pure Love**

Last edited by Shimul; 12th April 2004 at 08:10 AM..
   
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anish_ekshayar
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Thumbs up some thing - 12th April 2004, 09:37 AM

dear friends
shimul jee ke sher ke aaghe is silsile ko shuru kar raha hun apni tarf se kuchh bhej kar itna achha to nahi ke hur line par sher likh sakun par ........?
to aage kee line hai ...



kabhi jub tujko bhulane ko chala jaata hun maikhaane
to hur botal mai bhi jaanam tumhari surat hoti hai !

hume ye badgumaani thee ke dil apna nahi tuta
magar tuta to ye jana ye dil kee fitrat hoti hai !

teri yaaden chali aati hain le ke ajnabi khushboo..
or de jaati hai aankho mai nami jab ye rukhsat hoti hain !


anish

tum mujhe bhool bhi jao to ye haq hai tumko !
meri baat or hai maine to mohobbat kee hai !!


:) anish.paliwal@gmail.com:)
   
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anish_ekshayar
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Sad sorry - 12th April 2004, 11:29 AM

Paras jee
Mafi chahta hun mujhe niyam maaloom nahi the shimul jee ne kaha tha ke mere sher ko pura kijiye isliye mai direct is 8th page par aa gaya tha or ek se jyaada sher likh bheje mai janta hun yanha mujhse bahtar likhne wale mujhse bahtar sunane wale or samjhne wale hai to aap sabhi se maafi mangta hun ke aapke niymo ko toda aage aisa na karon iski poori koshish rahegi aapke is kunche mai naya hun na isliye shayad ye gustakhi ho gai please nazar andaz kar dena ek adna sa shayar samjh kar
Is kunche ke sabhi shayar bahoot hee khub likhte hain koshish karunga ke un jaisa likh skun
Aage agar koi gulti karoon to please dant dena ok


anish

tum mujhe bhool bhi jao to ye haq hai tumko !
meri baat or hai maine to mohobbat kee hai !!


:) anish.paliwal@gmail.com:)
   
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Chaand
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3rd Sher - 12th April 2004, 12:31 PM

DostoN koshish ki hai ise continue karne ki...


KyoN fakat kosta hai apne mukaddar ko ey dil
Wo Khuda sun hi na paaye to Dua, khaak asar hoti hai,


Sachh bolne ka hausla to, hum bhi rakhte haiN lekin
Anjaam sochkar, aksar khaamosh hi reh jaate haiN.

- Chaand
   
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Parastaar
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12th April 2004, 01:59 PM

Chautha(4th) sher

Mohabbat kee nehi jaati yeh to Khuda Kee Rehmat hoti hai,
isse pehchano tau, Khuda Kee dee huyi khaas Nemat hoti hai.......
-Shimul

hume ye badgumaani thee ke dil apna nahi tuta
magar tuta to ye jana ye dil kee fitrat hoti hai !
-anish

KyoN fakat kosta hai apne mukaddar ko ey dil
Wo Khuda sun hi na paaye to Dua, khaak asar hoti hai,
-chaand

na do dil unhein jo wafa jaante hee nahin
dil-e-naazuk masalna sang dilon ki aadat hoti hai
-paras

please radeef aur kaafiya ka dhyaan rakhieyga...apni shayri ko sudhaarne ke liye hee humne yeh kuucha banaya...aur apne se pehle sher bhi saath post kijiey...

gaur farmayiye

Rehmat hoti hai
Nemat hoti hai
fitrat hoti hai
aadat hoti hai

ps: Anish plz don't mind i just picked up one of your shers to be the 2nd sher of this ghazal...and aise nahin kaho...aapke tau saare sher ghazal ke niyamon pe qaayam hain


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan

Last edited by Parastaar; 12th April 2004 at 02:01 PM..
   
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manoj kureel
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12th April 2004, 02:58 PM

shimul ji
kucha e kalam mein nai gazal ka aagaz karne ke liye hamari taraf se badhai kubool kijiye......aap ke shuru kiye kaarwan mein shariq hote hue behad faqr mehsoos ho raha hai......ek sher jo ban pada hai pesh e khidmat hai......


kaanch samj kar dil tode_ti hai jab koi hasina "kureel"
raah-e-gam mein tab maikhane se mohabbat hoti hai

-Manoj


apne usoolon par ham apne andaaz se chalte hai
karte hai jo "kureel" se gila karte rahein.
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Shimul
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12th April 2004, 09:02 PM

Salam,
Dear Anish Jee, meine Gazal ko pura karne nehi kahin thi. I still have the pm I sent you & because of Paras Jee told me to send it so I did. Meine iss tarha likhhi thi: Gazal ki pehla sher likhdi hein aap akar ek aur likhde? I hope you can remember if not I can forward the pm again if you so wish. Lekin phir bhi tahe dilse aapka shukar gujar hu ke aap akar yeaha par kuch likhdiya. Thank you so much, really. Khush rahiye yeh Duwa hamesha rahegi aapke liye aur sabhi ke liye bhi. Take care. God bless you. Allah Hafiz

Keep smilling.......


*Aapni Parwaaz-e-Takhayyull Hain Zamane Se Juda
Jiss Jagah Koyi Na Pahuncha Wahaan Tak Pahunche
Main Samajhta Huun Harr Dil Mein Khuda Rehta Hain
Mera Paigam Mohabbat Hain Jaahan Tak Pahunche**
*~~~Ahsan Sherazi Jee~~~**

*Pure Love**

Last edited by Shimul; 12th April 2004 at 09:05 PM..
   
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Shimul
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12th April 2004, 09:06 PM

Dear Manoj Jee, dilki gehraion se shukriya kabool kijiyega. Aur baas yehi kahungi ke, mujhe pata hein. Khush rahiye yeh Duwa hamesha rahegi. Aapna khayal rakhiyega. God bless you.

Keep smilling.......


*Aapni Parwaaz-e-Takhayyull Hain Zamane Se Juda
Jiss Jagah Koyi Na Pahuncha Wahaan Tak Pahunche
Main Samajhta Huun Harr Dil Mein Khuda Rehta Hain
Mera Paigam Mohabbat Hain Jaahan Tak Pahunche**
*~~~Ahsan Sherazi Jee~~~**

*Pure Love**
   
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Shimul
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12th April 2004, 09:09 PM

Dear Chaand Jee, aapka shukar gujar hu aur rahungi jo aapne yeaha par sher likhdi hein. Khush rahiye yeh Duwaon ke sath izazat chahungi. Aapna khayal rakhiyega. God bless you.

Keep smilling.......


*Aapni Parwaaz-e-Takhayyull Hain Zamane Se Juda
Jiss Jagah Koyi Na Pahuncha Wahaan Tak Pahunche
Main Samajhta Huun Harr Dil Mein Khuda Rehta Hain
Mera Paigam Mohabbat Hain Jaahan Tak Pahunche**
*~~~Ahsan Sherazi Jee~~~**

*Pure Love**
   
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hi - 12th April 2004, 10:00 PM

hi to all
bohata cha laga...is silsile ko itna aage pakar...
parastaar ki koshish kamyab rahi..
thats so good..
or manoj ..ki shayri to bohat achi chal rahi hay..
good yaar...
sab se achi baat jo hmain lagi woh SHIMUL ji k
hathon ki laghzish thi...akhir unhon ne apni kasam tor hi dali na
bohat acha laga shimul ji...
isi tarah likhti raho
khush raho


banjara''''
agar mohabbat hay to judai kiyon
or judai main mohabbat kasi????
   
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main kiya karon???
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main kiya karon??? - 12th April 2004, 10:23 PM

5th

Mohabbat kee nehi jaati yeh to Khuda Kee Rehmat hoti hai,
isse pehchano tau, Khuda Kee dee huyi khaas Nemat hoti hai.......
-Shimul

hume ye badgumaani thee ke dil apna nahi tuta
magar tuta to ye jana ye dil kee fitrat hoti hai !
-anish

KyoN fakat kosta hai apne mukaddar ko ey dil
Wo Khuda sun hi na paaye to Dua, khaak asar hoti hai,
-chaand

na do dil unhein jo wafa jaante hee nahin
dil-e-naazuk masalna sang dilon ki aadat hoti hai
-paras

unka hukam jo hogya,bina soche hi jaan se guzar gaye
mere dosto ham kiya krain,unhain phir bhi shikayat hoti hay
--------
aap k liye shimul ...


banjara''''
agar mohabbat hay to judai kiyon
or judai main mohabbat kasi????
   
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Parastaar
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13th April 2004, 10:34 AM

Dosto,

muaafi chahti hoon, moderator hone ke naate kuch kaam na chaahne par bhi karne padte hain...it is a dirty job but someone has to do it...and here i will have to put my foot down as far as comments are concerned...yahan main Sharaabi ji ne jo likha thaa phir se dohraa rahi hoon...

ek baat aur dostoN -- aap is 'thread' jab bhii apnaa sher likho ge, to meherbaanii kar ke sabko bataa dii jiye gaa kii kaunse 'number' kaa thaa. only reson for that is so the writer compsing the last sher (Makta) knows that it is time to end the ghazal.

and finally, the lecture comes to an end with the last rule! as much as we all want to comment the compositions of others, please try to keep it low, as it gets confusing for the writer(s).


here i would like to add my penny's worth too...plz apne se pehle shers ko saath le ke chalein...just paste all the shers before you...

without further ado...i will repeat all the shers again...


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
   
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13th April 2004, 10:38 AM

Mohabbat kee nehi jaati yeh to Khuda Kee Rehmat hoti hai,
isse pehchano tau, Khuda Kee dee huyi khaas Nemat hoti hai.......
-Shimul

hume ye badgumaani thee ke dil apna nahi tuta
magar tuta to ye jana ye dil kee fitrat hoti hai !
-anish

KyoN fakat kosta hai apne mukaddar ko ey dil
Wo Khuda sun hi na paaye to Dua, khaak asar hoti hai,
-chaand

na do dil unhein jo wafa jaante hee nahin
dil-e-naazuk masalna sang dilon ki aadat hoti hai
-paras

kaanch samj kar dil tode_ti hai jab koi hasina "kureel"
raah-e-gam mein tab maikhane se mohabbat hoti hai
-manoj

unka hukam jo hogya,bina soche hi jaan se guzar gaye
mere dosto ham kiya krain,unhain phir bhi shikayat hoti hay
-banjara

7th sher ab kahiye...


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
   
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Nida Siidiqui
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13th April 2004, 11:27 AM

Mohabbat kee nehi jaati yeh to Khuda Kee Rehmat hoti hai,
isse pehchano tau, Khuda Kee dee huyi khaas Nemat hoti hai.......
-Shimul

hume ye badgumaani thee ke dil apna nahi tuta
magar tuta to ye jana ye dil kee fitrat hoti hai !
-anish

KyoN fakat kosta hai apne mukaddar ko ey dil
Wo Khuda sun hi na paaye to Dua, khaak asar hoti hai,
-chaand

na do dil unhein jo wafa jaante hee nahin
dil-e-naazuk masalna sang dilon ki aadat hoti hai
-paras

kaanch samj kar dil tode_ti hai jab koi hasina "kureel"
raah-e-gam mein tab maikhane se mohabbat hoti hai
-manoj

unka hukam jo hogya,bina soche hi jaan se guzar gaye
mere dosto ham kiya krain,unhain phir bhi shikayat hoti hay
-banjara

7th sher ab kahiye...

Muhabbat mein Shikayat karna ada hai yeh haseeno kay
Pathar mein bhee bhagwan ki moorat hoti hai
-Nida Siidiqui


Nida


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13th April 2004, 12:28 PM

Mohabbat kee nehi jaati yeh to Khuda Kee Rehmat hoti hai,
isse pehchano tau, Khuda Kee dee huyi khaas Nemat hoti hai.......
-Shimul

hume ye badgumaani thee ke dil apna nahi tuta
magar tuta to ye jana ye dil kee fitrat hoti hai !
-anish

KyoN fakat kosta hai apne mukaddar ko ey dil
Wo Khuda sun hi na paaye to Dua, khaak asar hoti hai,
-chaand

na do dil unhein jo wafa jaante hee nahin
dil-e-naazuk masalna sang dilon ki aadat hoti hai
-paras

kaanch samj kar dil tode_ti hai jab koi hasina "kureel"
raah-e-gam mein tab maikhane se mohabbat hoti hai
-manoj

unka hukam jo hogya,bina soche hi jaan se guzar gaye
mere dosto ham kiya krain,unhain phir bhi shikayat hoti hay
-banjara

7th sher ab kahiye...

Muhabbat mein Shikayat karna ada hai yeh haseeno kay
Pathar mein bhee bhagwan ki moorat hoti hai
-Nida Siidiqui


8th sher...

sang-e-raah ne yaad dilaayee zakhm-e-jafa ki phir ,
bin Thokar mar ke guzarne mein sharaafat hoti hai.

Talib


Ta- Gor Tumhara

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Parastaar
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13th April 2004, 05:36 PM

Wow...that was the fastest ghazal ever written...Shimul proud of you...aur Chaand jee bus aapke kaafiyaa mein gadbad ho gayi...
baaki kee ghazal technically sahi lagti hai...

Mohabbat kee nehi jaati yeh to Khuda Kee Rehmat hoti hai,
isse pehchano tau, Khuda Kee dee huyi khaas Nemat hoti hai.......
-Shimul

hume ye badgumaani thee ke dil apna nahi tuta
magar tuta to ye jana ye dil kee fitrat hoti hai !
-anish

KyoN fakat kosta hai apne mukaddar ko ey dil
Wo Khuda sun hi na paaye to Dua, khaak asar hoti hai,
-chaand

na do dil unhein jo wafa jaante hee nahin
dil-e-naazuk masalna sang dilon ki aadat hoti hai
-paras

kaanch samj kar dil tode_ti hai jab koi hasina "kureel"
raah-e-gam mein tab maikhane se mohabbat hoti hai
-manoj

unka hukam jo hogya,bina soche hi jaan se guzar gaye
mere dosto ham kiya krain,unhain phir bhi shikayat hoti hay
-banjara


Muhabbat mein Shikayat karna ada hai yeh haseeno kay
Pathar mein bhee bhagwan ki moorat hoti hai
-Nida Siidiqui


Sang-e-raah ne yaad dilaayee zakhm-e-jafa ki phir ,
bin Thokar mar ke guzarne mein sharaafat hoti hai.

-Talib



I give the floor to any shayar or shayra who wants to start a new ghazal....Irshaad!


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
   
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Ruk To Sahi
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masoom_s
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Ruk To Sahi - 13th April 2004, 06:02 PM

App logon ke sher par ke bahut accha laga aur thora josh peda hua likhne ka, is nacheez ki kuch banayi lines hain jo pesh kar raha hoon agar kuch kami ho to maafi chahta hoon..
Matla is tarah se hai kuch..

zara dekhein nazar bhar ke ruk to sahi.
karein deedar jee bhar ke ruk to sahi.


Love everyone!!
   
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Qasid
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14th April 2004, 03:45 AM

Paras ji pichle ghazal wakaai bahut jald puri ho gayi...shumul ji bilkul tareef ke kaabil thi aapki shuruwaat aur puri ghazal bhi....

Masoom_s ji ke likhe se aage badhaata hoon 2nd sher se...

zara dekhein nazar bhar ke ruk to sahi.
karein deedar jee bhar ke ruk to sahi.
-masoom_s

bey gaanahe aur bhi bahut hai bhari duniyaa mein
mehfil-e-husn mein naa shinaas yaar, ruk to sahi

-Mast
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Parastaar
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14th April 2004, 09:49 AM

Thodi uljhan ho rahi hai hamein yahan... lekin yeh raha teesra (3rd) sher...

zara dekhein nazar bhar ke ruk to sahi.
karein deedar jee bhar ke ruk to sahi.
-masoom_s

bey gaanahe aur bhi bahut hai bhari duniyaa mein
mehfil-e-husn mein naa shinaas yaar, ruk to sahi
-Mast

nigaah-e-jaam hain ki sabab mere mitne kaa
hone de makhmoor yaar jee bhar ke ruk tau sahi


nayi ruton mein wo kuchh aur qareeb aaye
gayi ruton ka sulagataa sa intezaar bhii ho

mere khuloos kaa andaaz ye bhii sachhaa hai
rakhuun na rabt magar dostii shumaar bhii ho

--Sayyidaa Fatimaa Hasan
   
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