Jokes

[ek pal]

7 साधु 7 चटाई पर ध्यान लगाकर बैठे थे |

एक आदमी आता हैं और सबसे बुज़ुर्ग साधु को प्रणाम कर पूछता है महाराज लड़की नही पट रही है क्या करू?

वो साधु सबसे छोटे साधु को पुकार ता हैं और कहता है |

छोटू एक और चटाई लगा दे बेटा !

[KATIL SHAYAR]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahhaaahhaahahahahahaha hahahahahahhahahahahahahaahahaahaahhahahahahahahah ahahaahaahhahaaa...

Ye wala to ekdum naya aur zabardast tha ...

Keep posting... You are such a quality person

[ek pal]

santa CIGRATE P raha tha
Lady-tmhare Maa-Baap ko pata he tm cigrate pite ho?
snta-Kya Apke H usband ko PATA H Aap AJNABI Se baat krti ho

[ek pal]

Girl:
Muje Ik Esa Husbnd Chahiay Jo Achi Achi Baten Kare
Hansi Mazaq Kare
Or Raton Ko Muje songs Sunaye

Santa:
Tusi Husbnd nu maro goli FM Radio Le Lo.

[ek pal]

Movie Director, “Now you have to jump from the 10th floor.”

http://www.jokesduniya.com/wp-conten...2/director.jpg
Nervous Actor, “But suppose I got injured or killed?”
Director, “Thats the idea, coz its the last scene of the movie.”

[ek pal]

A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband’s home in a traditional manner.

She was asked to give a little speech. She addressed as follows:

“My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family”, she said “Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don’t want you all to change your way of life, your routine.”



“What do you mean my child?” asked the patriarch of the family.

What I mean dad is:

Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
Those who cooked shouldn’t stop on my account.
Those who used to clean should clean.

As for me, I am here just to control your son!

[KATIL SHAYAR]

Originally Posted by ek pal

A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband’s home in a traditional manner.

She was asked to give a little speech. She addressed as follows:

“My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family”, she said “Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don’t want you all to change your way of life, your routine.”



“What do you mean my child?” asked the patriarch of the family.

What I mean dad is:

Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
Those who cooked shouldn’t stop on my account.
Those who used to clean should clean.

As for me, I am here just to control your son!

Hahahahaha....
Jaruur love marriage rahi hogi


Btw Tfs

Aur yaar apna naam to dasso saannu...

[ek pal]

Originally Posted by KATIL SHAYAR

Hahahahaha....
Jaruur love marriage rahi hogi


Btw Tfs

Aur yaar apna naam to dasso saannu...

sirjii marriage to marriage hai chahe luv ho ya arrange
aur sir naam to aapne chhupa rakha hamaara naam to spasht shbdon me likha hai sandeep

[KATIL SHAYAR]

Originally Posted by ek pal

sirjii marriage to marriage hai chahe luv ho ya arrange
aur sir naam to aapne chhupa rakha hamaara naam to spasht shbdon me likha hai sandeep

Ohhh.... Sorrry bhai sahab... Wo aapne colour he aisa chuna hai k aankho se choook gaya... Ab dikh raha hai ekdum spasht


Aur bhai sahab... Agar arrange hoti to parents ye baate pehle puuch lete they na

Love marriage me he zyadatarr ladki ka intro shadi k baad he hota hai ... U know?

[ek pal]

Nigger Jokes

A newly wed Nigger wife talks to her husband.
Nigger Wife: Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don't you do that?
Nigger Husband: How can I? I don't even know her.

[ek pal]

Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.
Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal.
Funny Husband: I know all that.
Wife: Then why did you invite the friend?
Funny Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

[KATIL SHAYAR]

Hahahahhahaha..... Badhiya ... Ekdum mast raapchik hain bidu


Keep posting

[ek pal]

Originally Posted by KATIL SHAYAR

Hahahahhahaha..... Badhiya ... Ekdum mast raapchik hain bidu


Keep posting

lagta hai sirji mumbai se belong karte hain

[KATIL SHAYAR]

bairaa na... Tanne aisa kahe laagya ??

Waise ib tu'm' mhari baat ku paani de'o' hor jama jama k chutkulhe
Bajawo


Yippiiiiiiiii waise saannu punjabi b thodi-2 aaundi hai aur mumbiya b... Waise saannuu kaha rehnde ne, e to tum ko dikh he raha hoga chinchpokli 'bandar'

[ek pal]

Originally Posted by KATIL SHAYAR

bairaa na... Tanne aisa kahe laagya ??

Waise ib tu'm' mhari baat ku paani de'o' hor jama jama k chutkulhe
Bajawo


Yippiiiiiiiii waise saannu punjabi b thodi-2 aaundi hai aur mumbiya b... Waise saannuu kaha rehnde ne, e to tum ko dikh he raha hoga chinchpokli 'bandar'

sirjii aap to kamal ke insaan ho itni bhashayen jaant ho ham se to ek dilli ki bhasha theek se nahi boli jaati viase apka naam kya hai

[KATIL SHAYAR]

Originally Posted by ek pal

sirjii aap to kamal ke insaan ho itni bhashayen jaant ho ham se to ek dilli ki bhasha theek se nahi boli jaati viase apka naam kya hai

Hehehe.... Huzoor e wala... Bhashao me to 'khwaish' sahab guru ji hain un se he kuch seekha hai bass

Waise bande ko yaha sab 'raj' bolat hain aap b yahi bula sakte hain

[gazzal]

Originally Posted by ek pal

A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband’s home in a traditional manner.

She was asked to give a little speech. She addressed as follows:

“My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family”, she said “Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don’t want you all to change your way of life, your routine.”




“What do you mean my child?” asked the patriarch of the family.

What I mean dad is:

Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
Those who cooked shouldn’t stop on my account.
Those who used to clean should clean.

As for me, I am here just to control your son!

very funny ek pal ji hehehe...................

[ek pal]

Originally Posted by gazzal

very funny ek pal ji hehehe...................

gazzal ji .........thanx.........pls visit again

[ek pal]

बंता: आपकी शादी किस से हुई?
संता: मेरी शादी एक औरत से हुई है!
बंता: बेवकूफ कभी किसी मर्द से भी शादी होती है?
संता: हाँ मेरी बहन की हुई है!

[ek pal]

जीतो: आप मुझे कितना प्यार करते हो?
संता: शाहजहाँ जितना!
जीतो: आप मेरे मरने के बाद ताजमहल बनवाओगे?
संता: मैंने तो कब की जमीन भी ले ली है तुम्हारे तरफ से ही देर है!

[r_singla95]

hahaha.. Bahut khoob sandeep Ji

[gazzal]

Banta Singh: "Yaar Santa, last year the name-plate outside your house read Santa Singh B.A. This year it read Santa Singh M.A., When did you finish yours Masters Degree?
Santa Singh: "You don't understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate Bachelor Again. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is Married Again.

[gazzal]

Santa Singh'sfather gave the following advice to his son about to be married. "Puttar (son) if you want things from your in-laws, be sure to pitch your demand high. If you wanted cycle, ask for scooter; if you wanted motorcycle, ask for Maruti. Always ask for something higher than you need. The young Sardarji who wanted no dowry, imbibed the lesson. When his father-in-law asked what he wanted, the young Sardarji replied " Give me the girl's mother.

[gazzal]

Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket.
Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died.
"You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all. He unfolded the note and read a loud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"

[gazzal]

hope u dont mind k i paste these jokes in ur thread.........

[ek pal]

Aadmi kumbh ke mele mai-
he prabhu,teri kripa se kumbh k mele mai
bhai-bhai ko bichadte dekha hai,
kabhi pati-patni par b kripa barsao!

[ek pal]

Jyotish:
Tumhri life men 14 larkyan ayen gi



Boy"
Oh yess... What a life!"





Jyotish:
Ziyada khush mat ho.

1 Biwi or 13 betyan hongi.

[ek pal]

एक दिन प्रेमी ने मौका पाकर अपनी प्रेमिका का मोबाइल चेक किया कि उसने किस नाम से उसका मोबाइल नंबर सेव किया है.
इसके लिए उसने अपने मोबाइल से प्रेमिका के मोबाइल पर मिस काल किया तो उसमे लिखकर आया -
Calling ...
Bewkoof No. 8 ...... !!!

[ek pal]

संता - यार, एक बात बताओ। जिंदगी में पत्नी पूरी तरह साथ देती है या प्रेमिका ?
बंता - वैसे तो शायद दोनों ही, लेकिन अगर उन्हें एक दूसरे के बारे में पता चल जाए तो फिर दोनों में से एक भी नहीं ।

[ek pal]

बंता शराबी एक बार में गया । वहां जाकर उसने बार में मौजूद सभी लोगों, जिनमें बार मालिक भी शामिल था, के लिए अपनी तरफ से एक-एक पैग व्हिस्की का ऑर्डर दिया।
- आज सभी लोग मेरी तरफ से पियो । बंता ने झूमते हुए घोषणा की।
आधे घण्टे बाद बंता ने फिर से सभी लोगों के लिए एक-एक पैग व्हिस्की का ऑर्डर दिया। बार मालिक को भी एक पैग और मिला।
फिर तो हर आधे घण्टे बाद यही क्रम चलने लगा। पांचवें पैग के बाद बार मालिक को चिंता होने लगी। उसने बंता को एक तरफ बुलाकर कहा - भाईसाहब, आपका अभी तक का बिल तीन हजार चार सौ रुपये हो गया है ।
- बिल ? कैसा बिल ? मेरे पास तो फूटी कौड़ी भी नहीं है। बंता ने जेबें उल्टी करके दिखाते हुए कहा।
अब तो बार मालिक का पारा सातवें आसमान पर चढ़ गया। उसने लात घूंसों से बंता की जमकर पिटाई की और आखिर में बार के कर्मचारियों से कहकर बाहर गंदे नाले में फिंकवा दिया ।
अगले दिन शाम को बार अभी खुला ही था कि बंता अंदर आया और बोला - एक पैग व्हिस्की मेरे लिए और एक-एक यहां मौजूद सभी लोगों के लिए मेरी तरफ से ...... ।
फिर बार मालिक की तरफ उंगली करके बोला - सिर्फ तुमको छोड़कर .... । तुम चार पैग के बाद बहक जाते हो ...............

[ek pal]

Originally Posted by gazzal

hope u dont mind k i paste these jokes in ur thread.........

ye to jokes ka thread hai jokes hi post karne chahe tum karo ya mai ya koi bhi isme mind karne ki baat hi nahi hai

[zainy]

Lolzzzz.....nice collection.........